The judges looked at each other as the repetitive beat of Snape's fingers against the desk. Avise rolled her pale blue eyes and tutted in Snape's direction. She examined the notes she'd jotted down in a book that sat upon the desk.

Skylar Barlow moved from the side of the stage to stand on it. The crowd chanted his name, and several female members of the audience shouted and threw underwear in his direction making his face redded with embarrassment.

He cleared his throat.

"And in no particular order, the contestants through to the next round are..." he gave a long dramatic pause before continuing, "Kevin, Clay, Meixong, Jack, Shia, Sunny, Axle, Adana, and by using their special pass Rosalie," He cleared his throat again, "sadly that means those who will not be progressing to the next round are Philip, who failed to turn up for his audition, Blaire and Astrid."

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Through to next

⋆ ★ TheQueenofGremlins Clay

⋆ ★ Azuriko_Kito Axle

⋆ ★ MayaArche Shai Jensen

⋆ ★ ShyGuySamurai Hark

⋆ ★ ACNP000 Kevin

⋆ ★ -KaylaWinchester Rosalie
Pass used 🎟️

⋆ ★ Paradisecitylights  Jack Archer

⋆ ★ FictionaIFantasies Adena Capricorn

⋆ ★ FCCleary Sunny Summers

Those not progressing are

AutumnPeek4 Astrid

BeckyAnyanwu Philip

uschibear Blaire Walcott Quade

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

Judges Feedback

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ACNP000

The worldbuilding and judges' description was nice. It's not info dumping but a detailed flow of what it/they look like as well the judges' personalities (except Pooh was slightly out of character. But since they're not really them, I can forgive it) were on point.

I enjoyed the placement of when Kevin can sing just by drinking water.
Now I need someone to translate what the lyrics mean lol.

Snape: *Raises a brow, amused* How intriguing. I must admit I never heard someone sing quite well... It's a pass...for now. "

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Avise Dear Mr Kevin, thank you for attending the auditions. My fellow judges and I thought your performance was absolutely marvellous. You show talent for your art. There for you'll be joining us in the next round. Miss A J Renshaw P. s, I would like you to apologise for eating my identical twin sister!

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"Good work, very solid writing, especially in regard of the challenge it provided. I just would like to see Kevin tackle some more of those challenges. But next time, even if the appearance of the judges was allowed to build in, please refrain of shifting the focus of your scene towards any side characters!

Rhojeka looks at the unexpected contestant, visibly bracing herself - so she is more than surprised when the singing coming from this creature turns out to be both melodic and comprehendable. As soon as she gets over the positive shock, she applauds and gives a Thumbs Up."

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"You have a very interesting concept it was definitely something different. I found you had a good use of show vs tell where you used it only when necessary. Your spelling was good and I didn't see to many mistakes which made for an easy read.

It did however feel rather rushed. Instead of smoothly working in the prompt and making it work with the story it felt secondary and so it didn't feel very natural. For example there no really reason why the MC started singing it kind of just happened. I would assume that maybe it was the water that makes him singing but nothing else has been said about it so Im not sure. Does this water both make a creature sing and in another language. I also would have enjoyed a longer song because it would make the description of the audiences reaction feel more realistic as the song is too short for this reaction unless it was very spread out but its not described this way. I think with a bit more explanation on the singing and why it happened this would be even better.

Pooh finds that the sweet honey he would not normally share he is willing to let Kevin have a very tiny spoonful of it. He is now happy enough to let Kevin pass into round two."

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ShyGuySamurai

"The infusion of the song and images were spot on that I loved this plot. I think I'm the only one but reading the song makes me remind of every C-drama's OSTs (ignore this random thought). The feelings Meixong portrayed also flowed to this so definitely this one I'm give a full pass XD

Snape: Interesting tool there... The song? Yes, yes, it was good, however, I don't find it resonated with me. Still *grumbles* You have my vote "

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"Though Rhojeka apparently remembers Meixong as her last remaining competitor during the last Survival of the Fittest, it is clear from the start that it doesn't grant them any leniency. She frowns a bit when the images appear around the contestant while they are singing. At the end she gives a hand wave, showing a ""Maybe"" vote."

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"I really enjoyed your chapter. It was well written and really captivating. I really felt like i understood your MC. They were very stubborn and sassy could give Snape a run for his money. Overall i liked the song and the added magical elements it enhanced the lyrics a lot.

I would have preferred the magical descriptions to have been shortened a little as i did get a little lost after awhile. But they were written very nicely and i enjoyed the chapter.

Winnie grabbed the honey on the side of his table stuck his hand in and lifted some out and spoke aloud. 'I'm so rumbly in my tumbly. Your song distracted me so much i forgot to eat."" You're through to the next round."

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MayaArche

"This one's short (yes, I counted trough word count) but I was impressed it wasn't a piece that's missing or cut off, but a complete start to end.

Snape: This is some campaign of world peace or something? Well, it was still good" "Not much to say here but: Well done! Very solid work, a good read. Nice show v tell!

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While the other judges might be puzzled about the lyrics, Rhojeka actually understands Elvish - Jensen can see in her face that the lyrics of the original song move her a bit. Maybe it is also the fact that the singing in this beautiful language reminds her of home. She flinches a bit when the signature comes a bit off - apparently 4/4 would have been the right one. But she gives a Thumbs Up immediately when it ends."

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"I liked your chapter you incorporated the prompt well and I enjoyed your interactions with the judges. I was a bit unsure how the MC knew their names when it was never explained especially as this was written in first person.

I also found the italics rather distracting as it was written in first person the inner dialogue doesn't need to be in italics especially as it was only sometimes done. I would suggest removing the Italics completely.

Winnie really wanted to hum along to the melody but really struggled. It wasn't the easiest song to eat honey with but it was good enough. "

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FictionaIFantasies

"I think there needs to be a little more info of the background. Maybe more description of what the subway is like. Did it smell? Was it clean? And how much were the people (but I'm guessing not a lot but not too little), that kind of example.

I like the idea of 'dream vs reality'. Reminds me of Narnia XD

Snape: *Rolls his eyes and rubs his temple* Is that the best you can do? You sounded like you took an inspiration from the Sorting Hat and made it your own version. " "Hello Adana, well done for competing in Survival of the Fittest. Your song was brilliant. Again, well done

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- The scene was well written, however I would have liked to have seen better grammar. It's always better write the words out so two instead of 2." "Very interesting and unexpected take on the concept of the contest. I would like to see more.

Rhojeka approves as well, though she feels as bit ignored as the only judge not being noticed or mentioned by Adena. She has an empathetic look on her face as she watches Adena perform her song, and as the song ends she raises her thumb immediately."

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"I think you had a good idea. I really like that this is hinting that its all happening inside her head. I think the story is there and you did well in incorporating the prompt into chapter.

Overall I think the story is there its just lacking in detail. I would have loved to have seen more of the audience and judges reactions as well as the feeling of the mc as they sing. I understand with a word count its hard but maybe remove some extra parts that don't elevate the story to make space for great detail. I think with this added description of the surroundings and feelings it would really improve this chapter.

Winnie has been wanting someone to play poohsticks with and you seem like just the person. Good job you stick exited the bridge first and you got through to the next round."

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Azuriko_Kito

"I don't really have a feedback for this one except you incorporated this round well and deserve a pass. Just glad Axle had the strength to try singing (I can't. Not even by alone)

Snape: Ugh! I almost fell asleep but not quite sure by your lack of vocal range or your childish lullaby. Do you think I'm a child? *Glares down at Axle*" "So far the best lyrics I've seen in the prompt, very fitting for a song. And no, the last lines do not feel cringe to me. Maybe the beginning of the scene was a bit more drawn out than it had to, but it was useful to get a better picture of your character's perspective.

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Rhojeka listens to the lullaby attentively, showing no signs of tiredness (which could be seen as bad for a lullaby, but good for a stage performance). She shows a faint smile throughout the entire song, which does not even fade when Axle adds the additional lyrics at the end. She claps at the end and gives a Thumbs Up."

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"I really liked the song you wrote. It sounded very sweet and was written out nicely. I also really liked how you explained the judges it brought more to the scene.

I did see a few grammar errors but nothing to major. I am not a huge fan of authors writing in third person and then bringing in first person inner dialogue. I think it's better to show the inner dialogue through how the MC reacts when writing in third person. Or just stick to a first person narrative.

Winnie really enjoyed your tune and would for sure being singing in next time he tucked into a jar of honey. But he would definitely advise that next time he would like you to bring more to the stage when performing."

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TheQueenofGremlins

"This submission felt raw and sort of comforting (if that makes sense). When I read this, it felt similar to a person who enters a cafe or an empty stage building and just give a natural performance. It's different and I like it.

Snape: Aww, so you killed the bird. Terrific job *claps in a condescending gesture* Though the lyrics and your acoustic performance was...not bad. In *waves hand, signaling Clay to leave the stage*"
"For the record: the second verse does not qualify as a limerick, though the rhyme structure is the same. Apart from that, solid work, and the prompt is fulfilled.

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Rhojeka watches the performance motionless, her face not showing any sign of excitement. But surprisingly, at least to Clay, she gives a Thumbs Up at the end."

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"I have to say I really enjoyed this chapter it was simple yet effective. You follow the prompt and took the risk not to add to much to else to it and it payed off. I throughly enjoyed reading it.

I also really liked how you described the judges and really made it feel like an audition from beginning to end. I also really liked how you showed the MC nerves. Really well written chapter.

Like Winnie always says It never hurts to keep looking for sunshine. But you are very close to it. You are definitely a keeper."

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FCCleary

"I love the details of her practicing backstage as well the description of staffs. The lyrics to me sounded like maybe Ed Sheeran would write or any similar artists of the genre and I liked it. (It fits to play in a small inn or pub I would say)

The problem with this submission though is the word count. This is a short story contest and while I love the plot, some of the scenes could have omitted or maybe shorten it and less 'show', more 'tell', to fit the 1000 (or a little extra is fine as long not 2k) word count.

Snape: *Listens deep in thought then coughs when song end* How romantic *sarcasm*. I almost fell asleep myself, wishing I was at home instead. *Secretly taps his foot and hums low in rhythm*"

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"It was a good scene, very detailed, and just a bit long - some details could have been cut out to stay within the desired word count. Maybe keep that in mind for the next round.x

As Rhojeka listens to the performance of Sunny on stage, it looks like she empaphizes with her a lot, seeing a part of herself in this place. With a tiny little tear in the corner of her eye, she stands up from her place and gives an enthusiastic Thumbs Up."

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"First of you did a very good job of following the prompt and covering it all very well. You wrote the whole chapter out really well and it was easy to follow. I liked your song and the way you wrote the whole scene including adding in a guitar.

The only thing i saw that might need fixing is when your MC spoke to herself the second thing she said didn't really make sense I would just remove this or re-word this so it does.

Winnie found himself humming away and really enjoying your song. Well done you are through."

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Paradisecitylights

"The song kind of made me think of Dolly Parton's Jolene song (which is one of my 'like' songs). Everything of the plot is well written and all but the ending is sort of abrupt. It's like as if someone cut the film reel and the rest had disappeared.

I also wish there was a description of the judges instead of omitting them.

Snape: *Eyes rolling* Is this some sort of story telling than an actual song? Practice your vocal range more and come up with a better lyrics. But... *thumbs up and looks away*"

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"Good, solid work, but a pity that it ended so apruptly - this feels like you just stopped righting somewhere in the middle. Granted, where are you supposed to end this when the prompt just demands a performed song of you?

Rhojeka, though not quite familiar with that style of music, gets involved in it, not taking her eyes of Jack Archer during his performance. She looks quite surprised when it stops without warning in the middle of nowhere. She gives a Thumbs Up nontheless."

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"I really liked the setting of the chapter. I felt a part of the story and felt the cowboy style of the MC. You did really well at describing the setting and how the mc felt coming in. You followed the prompt well and I like how you engaged In an interview where it showed the audience reaction. It was well done.

I do feel like it ended rather abruptly though I would think about ending the song completely.

Winnie had a great time humming along while eating his honey and is glad to welcome you to the next round."

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AutumnPeek4

"There's not much mention of worldbuilding as well the judges. This is a lot more 'tell' but zero 'show'. And though the song is good, the entire plot needs a whole lot of fixing to do. And I'm confused why, even after being ill, automatically eliminate your own character in the contest? It's implying that you want to quit this contest :x

Snape: *Covers ears and scolds* Enough! Someone please get her out of this stage and don't let her anywhere in my sight!"

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Rhojeka's face shows regret when she gives Astrid a thumbs down - she knows that the contestant has given her best, but she cannot let her pass this round in good conscience.

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"I have to start by saying I really liked your song it was well thought-out and you made sure it was the length of a real song. You covered that part of the prompt really well.

I did find a few spelling and grammar mistakes but it wasn't enough where i didn't understand the story you were telling. I think when you are given word counts you feel you cant add as much detail. In this case you still had 500 words you could still have used. This would have been great if you could have provided us the description of how the MC felt. Also the audience reaction and even the surroundings. This would have really elevated the story to the next level and really helped build the chapter.

Winnie tried humming along to the song but he just could follow it. Unfortunately you wont be progressing to the next round but Winnie hopes you will come back and try again soon."

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Avise: So Miss Astrid, sorry it's a no for this time. However we wish to invite you to our next show which will be announced very soon.

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uschibear "The idea of a poetic lyric and drawing story tell was unique. A good twisted way on how a character incorporates the challenge even they, themselves, is impossible to do.

The problem I can't accept is already deciding what judges will vote. Contests always have judge(s) to look at participants submission(s) so by giving an automatic decision that isn't from real judge(s) is unfair.

Suggestion: best to ask any (contest/prompt related) questions you have before submitting. There are no what's consider too many or stupid questions at all. Ask away <3

Snape: *Stifles a yawn* This isn't a poetry and arts performance. If you were in Hogwarts I would have given a minus fifty points taken away from you. Try better next time.

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Please leave the judging to the judges in the future! Making them part of your scene is completely valid, but you can't possible know the outcome of their vote. Your scene was good, felt very personal, and even though the drawing was never part of the original task, you gave your character a way to compensate her disadvantage in being tone deaf, which is a good thing.

At first Rhojeka looks a bit disappointed when the song turns out to be a poem, but as her eyes focus on Blaire on the stage and see the entirety of her performance, she starts to nod with the rhythm. At the end, with just a slight hesitation, she gives a Thumbs Up."

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"I think you had a very well written chapter. I think if it wasn't written to follow a prompt I would say it's really good but.

But in this case it's a chapter that is suppose to be following a prompt. And that just didn't come across. It felt very secondary and I don't think it was really thought to much about when this chapter was written. Especially because we were told about a lot of characters which wasn't really suppose to be added.

Again it's a good chapter but just wasn't really following the prompt.

Winnie really wanted to hum along but really struggled to find the tune. I don't think this story should progress."

Avise sits in her comfortable chair behind the judges desk and dreams of the days when she and Skylar Barlow were dating, paying no attention to what the other judges were saying or doing.

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Well done to everyone who made it through to the next round. Up next, round two...