Woo! Been a while, hasn't it? Well, I haven't died. As much as some of you may have thought. I feel like this chapter sort of comes out of nowhere with no transition... But who cares?! I thought it was too good to cut out. Besides. IT'S AN X-READER. Shadow can't be mean forever. Besides... He's gotta have a motive, riiiiiight~? :> Enjoy!!

You had to wake up... to see who was next to you.

The alarming realization that you weren't alone jolted you awake. You were still used to being alone. This was quite a change. Especially for Shadow. Who was the person next to you. Who was also asleep.

"Huh?" you inquired as you stared at him. He was sleeping soundly. Something you had never seen him do. Your inquiring glanced turned into curiosity.

He looks... so cute!

Your gaze drifted from his placid expression to his fur. All you wanted to do was touch his chestfur. For the longest of evers, you wanted to know just how fluffy it was. You knew you probably wouldn't ever get another opportunity like this again. Of course, you also didn't want to make him mad if you woke him up from his sleep. Almost uncontrollably, you snuck another glance at his chestfur.

I'm sure he let Maria!! Why not me??

At first, you scolded yourself for thinking something like that. Of course he'd let Maria! He was supposed to save her! Not you! But..., the longer you thought about it...

I'm sure he'd forgive me if I felt it just a little...

Gingerly, you reached forward. This was Shadow. The Ultimate Life Form. And you were trying to pet his chestfur. You were this close! There was no turning back at the point you were at. Even if you could turn back, you most certainly would not. It was all too tempting. All too inviting. All too...

You found your hand brushing against his chest. Nothing could possibly rival the feeling... So fluffy... The gentle rise and fall as he breathed. His slow, steady heartbeat... It was hard not to get too drawn in to such a feeling.

He's been keeping this all to himself? How mean!

A minute or two went by of just you stroking and running your fingers through his chestfur. You determined that Shadow was a heavy sleeper. However, that wasn't the case. At all.

"So then, are you enjoying yourself?"

Blushing madly from being caught and from surprise, you jumped and got away from Shadow. It wasn't like you weren't expecting it, but you let your guard down when he didn't appear to be waking up at all. There was a moment of awkward silence.

Shadow sat up from the ground and gave himself a moment to wake up. Him being the Ultimate Life Form, you never expected for him to actually take his time to wake up. It seemed unnatural for him to do something natural. The more you thought about it, the less sense your mind made. Then you wondered why at all you were confused in the first place! Just because you had never seen him sleep didn't mean he didn't.

"Why did you do what you did, if I may ask?"

You looked down at the grass wondering what to say to him. What was the truth of the situation? You thought he looked cute in his sleep and wanted to pet his chestfur. That was it. You weren't going to tell him all that, but you were not about to lie either.

"I just wanted to...," you answered.

"Is that so?"

"Yes, it is so!" you said as if you were offended that he would ask such a thing. Doubt did not establish a solid relationship! Of course, you knew he wasn't actually doubting you.

After saying this, you knew Shadow was plotting something. You always knew when he was plotting something. He would always get this sly smile whenever he did. This time was no exception. "Then what do you plan on giving me in return?"

In a heartbeat, you knew what his plan was. A trap to get what he wants. You crossed your arms at him. "Absolutely nothing!"

"Maybe I do deserve nothing... I'm terrible at my job. Some bodyguard I am. I should just be a collector of rare gems instead. Can I resign?" Shadow looked at one of his chaos emeralds as if he didn't care even a little bit about what he was saying.

"Shadow!!"

"What?"

"You know perfectly well what!"

You wondered if he was completely awake or if he was acting like this because he just woke up. It seemed alarming to you to realize just how little you knew about him. Just how little he revealed to you about himself. Was he... trying to connect with you?

Shadow lost his plotting smirk as if completely giving up on the idea he had planned. "Nevermind. Forget I said anything."

No! How could he slam the door of connection in your face once again?! Upset at his refusal to let you get any closer than you already were, you probed. Very obviously.

"Huh? But I wanted to know what you were planning! What does one have to pay to touch thy lovely chestfur?" you asked as unsuspiciously as you could.

Shadow looked away from you. "You don't have to pay anything."

"But Shadow--!"

You felt your arms wrap around him desperately. You made sure to be careful not to hurt his injured arm. Something about figuring out Shadow made your heart flutter. At the very least, you wanted him to answer your questions about him that were conflicting you. When did he learn about the chaos emeralds? Why wouldn't he talk to you or try to connect with you? Why was he so determined to save you from G.U.N.? What did he like? What did he hate? How could he track the chaos emeralds so easily? Was his real purpose to be the ultimate cure and to save Maria... or to grant eternal life with the power of the chaos emeralds? Why was it that whenever you were near Maria, you didn't get what she had? Why were you spared from Maria's illness? Why did Shadow care so much about you now? What were you to him?

The last question got you thinking. Whenever Shadow saw you, what did he see? Why did you care? Was he a friend, or was he more than that?

Or is he still pretending...? Because of that promise he made...

"(Y/N). . . What are you trying to do...? What do you want?" he asked. You couldn't tell what he was feeling from his questions. You already knew what you wanted. Answers. Surely he of all people would understand.

"I want you to... I just want you to talk to me... Whenever you start expressing yourself or you start talking to me about something important... Why do you always purge your feelings...?"

There was silence. You couldn't see his face. However, because the silence stretched for so long, you knew he was surprised. You waited as you clung to him. Hoping... Wishing...

". . . Fear..."

Huh?

The fact that he answered at all made you jump. You didn't understand what he meant by fear, though. What was there to be afraid of...? "You're... scared?"

"You would be too if you knew... I told you once before, but I don't think you understand... Being friends with me... will kill you, (y/n)." He paused a moment. You remembered him saying something about that just before you got kidnapped. He continued. "Like what happened to Maria... I... I don't want them to hurt you too. It terrifies me... that they know how much I care about you... It also scares me... that you don't understand how dangerous this is! And yet you still somehow manage to convince me that there isn't anything wrong!" he announced.

The sudden truth tore into you like daggers. He... answered? "Shadow... I didn't know you--"

He shoved you away from him but he still grasped tightly at your shoulders. It wasn't out of coldness or bitterness. It was so you could see his expression. How serious he was. "I'm not done yet... Do you realize how much it hurts me to see you so carefree? Trying to talk to me and connect with me... I am trying to keep you safe by being cruel, and you still try to befriend me! I don't deserve your kindness! So stop doing this! Don't put yourself in danger for me! I'm not worth it!"

Translation: I'll never forgive myself if your kindness kills you.

It all came to you. He didn't want to lose anyone else. If it meant killing you to get to him, The Ultimate Life Form, you were certain they would kill you. All you were was an insignificant little detail to them. You were the one Shadow was trying desperately to protect. However, his friendship with you only got in his way of keeping you safe. He was perfectly able to defend himself. You weren't. Which made you the perfect target.

"If I'm such a nuisance..., then why don't you just continue to treat me like you did when we first came to this planet...?" you quietly asked.

Shadow finally seemed to be calming down from his outburst. After a few deep breaths, he told you. "Someone as innocent as you... receiving cruelty from me... That sounds despicable, doesn't it?"

"It really doesn't feel good when you ignore me or say something mean... One last question, though. Why are you telling me now of all times...?" you questioned.

His gaze shifted up towards the canopy above, and he fixed it on some invisible point in the distance. The solemnity in his face made you want to comfort him. He didn't answer your question at first. Just as you were about to change the subject, he looked back to you. "Because they won't find us here." His eyes seemed to flare to life as he spoke. "There are no humans for miles and miles and miles." You felt heat radiating from his body to yours. "We're completely alone." His hands took ahold of yours. "I know it contradicts what I said yesterday..." He was closer than he had ever been before. "But I surrender."

Your heart was pounding and you had no idea why. Nothing had ever made you feel like that before! A rushing sensation was coursing through your chest. Warmth flooded to your face uncontrollably as you wondered what was happening. Was Shadow doing something to you...? Should you be scared?

"Shadow, what are you--?!"

Before you could ask, he thrusted his lips to meet yours. You flinched at the sudden act. What did it mean?! What did it mean?! Why was Shadow acting like this?? Rather than shoving him away and demanding what he was doing, you for once kept silent. If this was what he wanted, then you would give it to him. Besides, you kind of liked it. The closeness... The trust...

It didn't last more than five seconds, though. Five long, heartfelt seconds. When Shadow pulled away, he seemed much less troubled than before. "Do you not have anything to say?" he asked surprised by your silence.

In reality, your mind was racing with questions. For example, what was that for? What was he trying to tell you? What even was that? However, despite all of the questions drifting through your mind, you only had one question you wanted to ask out loud. "Are you better now, Shadow...?"

His hands departed from yours. His previous anger at your kindness seemed almost nonexistent. When you looked up at him, you couldn't help but feel the rushing feeling in your chest again that made your heart race once more. Shadow had the softest smile you had ever seen. "I guess you were right. Telling someone how you feel or what's wrong really does help ease the suffering."

For the first time, you were certain you knew and understood him completely.