Chapter 13 Bitter Feelings
Well, the end is getting closer. With the climax just around the corner, the story will have to be wrapped up sometime soon... But don't worry! There's still plenty left before the end! This has come to be my favorite story to work on. Everyone, your encouragement has been really really motivating and I'm so glad that you all have come this far. I'm sure that Shadow admires your dedication to this story.
Anyway, things are going to start getting serious in this chapter! And I don't mean the kind of "getting serious" as in the last chapter. Everyone, brace yourselves for the best and the worst over the next few chapters. I'm planning to put on quite a show.
One more thing! I enjoy reading all of your comments and story suggestions! I read every single comment and they really make my day. You never know. Shadow might come and answer some of your questions and comments too. :3
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One left... There was only one chaos emerald left. And Shadow couldn't find it. No matter how hard he concentrated or thought, he couldn't detect where that final chaos emerald was. All that Barrett and Gilbert knew about it was that it was the purple chaos emerald and that it controlled time. Because Shadow couldn't feel the emerald's power at all, he determined that it wasn't anywhere on the planet... Which meant that there was only one place it could've been.
"It's on the Space Colony...," he murmured. There was a hint of dread in his gaze. Clearly, the pain that he left behind on the Space Colony continued to follow him.
A shiver ran down your spine at the words that came from his mouth. Images of men in black uniforms swarming the halls and shooting scientists on sight filled your mind. And then there was Maria... Maria...
Shadow's eyes darted to the door of the wagon with a serious intensity. He was clearly thinking about the two magicians... Bringing them along would be a nuisance for him, but they might know more about where the emerald might be... You knew that if Barrett pulled one stunt while on the Ark that made Shadow mad, he'd inevitably go to an early grave. He was pretty lucky as it was that he was still alive after the last time.
"Will you be alright going...? I know that the pain of Maria's death is still there... It still hurts me every now and then, too," you admitted quietly as you sat next to him. He didn't glance over at you. His eyes just stayed on the green chaos emerald that he was holding far more tightly than he needed to. "You don't even have to bring the magicians!" you added trying to cheer him up a little.
"That fool Barrett is obviously not going. Gilbert would be useful if we didn't already need him to stay and babysit Barrett. Which means... it's just going to be us," he explained. Something about that thought left him with an uneasy feeling.
He got up to break the news to the magicians and left you to sit and think about returning to your old home. The Space Colony... A cold, mechanical wasteland that you used to call home. A place where your only companions were the stars and the beautiful planet Earth. It seemed like a lifetime since you were last there even though it was probably barely more than a week since you were there last. Since the last time... you saw Maria. For some reason, your mind decided to wander back in time yet again... Or maybe Maria's spirit was too impatient to wait for you to sleep again to show you something else about her past.
Unlike all of the other dreams, you were yourself--not Maria. You were standing next to Maria with your eyes fixed in amazement at a giant capsule. Inside, there was an enormous lizard-like creature. Its eyes blinked slowly at you without interest and then it seemed to go back to its intense napping. Maria tapped the capsule excitedly.
"You see this? It's the latest specimen!" Maria chirped. Judging from her voice, she couldn't have been more than six years old. It was back before she was forbidden to ever leave her quarters without special permission. Before she was isolated from her sister forever.
Gazing intently at the lizard, you wondered how it could possibly help Maria. Lizards can't destroy illnesses! Besides, while it was huge for a lizard, it wasn't that extraordinary. "So... what does it do? What is it called?"
"We call it the Biolizard. It was made from chaos energy. At least, that's what grandpa told me. It's just a baby right now; but one day, it'll grow up into a GIANT lizard!" she threw her hands in the air dramatically to express how big it would be. "THIS BIG!"
The Biolizard looked annoyed again and yawned. Rather than being completely silent like a regular lizard..., it made a strange sound when it yawned.
It meowed.
"Meowing?? Why's the lizard meowing?!" you demanded as you pressed your face against the glass. Nothing about the Biolizard resembled anything close to a cat!
Maria giggled to herself with glee. She clearly had something to do with this... "Oh, I asked grandpa to make it a meowing lizard! I've always wanted a cat, but grandpa said that he was making a lizard... So, to make me feel better, he made the lizard meow!"
You still didn't understand why your grandfather needed a lizard, but at least the meowing was explained.
The Biolizard went back to sleep. You took that as your cue to continue on to the next capsule. Inside, Shadow was in a deep, unnatural sleep. He was completely engulfed in a dark, liquid substance. It most closely resembled ink..., but it wasn't quite the same. When Maria passed by Shadow, there was a sad gleam in her usually vibrant blue eyes.
You pressed your hand against the glass separating you and the dark hedgehog. Despite his still, sturdy demeanor, there was pain written across his face. He looked like he was undergoing a form of torture that he couldn't refuse. Occasionally, one of his muscles would jerk suddenly as if it had been shocked. If he had been shocked, then this was the most violent form of shock therapy you'd ever seen. "Is he... okay...?" you asked quietly.
Maria turned her gaze away. Seeing her friend in such a state was almost more painful than the knowledge that she would die one day from her deadly illness... "Grandpa said that he must go through with the... treatments... He won't tell me why... All he said is that the black goo in the capsule makes him stronger. That's all he told me..."
You squinted at the capsule and frowned. This... felt wrong. "Torturing Shadow like this won't cure you, sister..."
Without looking back towards Shadow, she continued down the hall of capsule rooms. Pod after pod with creature after creature. Maria only truly loved one... And he was suffering for her. "Let's just go... I don't want to think about it anymore..."
Just as you were about to turn away, the vision seemed to freeze in time. All you could see was Shadow in the capsule. Unable to breathe, fight, cry, or even die. There was pain, anger, and misery surging through his heart. Betrayal, revenge, protect, destroy... The thoughts were overwhelming to your young, child-like mind. Everything faded to black except for him. There was nothing except cold suffering. The darkness... was everything.
Do you remember, (Y/N)?
Maria...?
Do you remember?
...No.
They tried to change him. The aliens. I'm trying to warn you...
About what?
They still want him... G.U.N. isn't the real enemy here. Not even Shadow knows the dangers of the alien's blood...
...?
He's in trouble. Protect him.
Me?! But I can't do anything! If anything he's the one--!
Your eyes flew open and you found yourself lying on the wooden floor of the wagon. A fat, purple bruise on your knee indicated that you collapsed during the vision. The fall wasn't what you were worried about...
In a dizzy, disoriented caliber, you stumbled out of the wagon in search of Shadow. To let you recuperate from all of the travelling and excitement, the magicians didn't move the wagon from the beach. If Shadow was anywhere, he'd be in a shady area to keep out of the sun. His black fur and quills absorbed the sunlight and made it very easy for him to get extremely hot. Why couldn't he just come back to the wagon and not leave you to fend for yourself in the blinding sun...?
After only a few steps, the world began to revolve around you. It was too hot to think clearly and your mind was trapped in a deep fog of cluelessness... It reminded you a lot of when you were sick in the city..., but this was different. Your stomach felt uneasy and your fingers dug into arms with frustration. Sweat was building up on your forehead, but that was nothing compared to the scorching hot sand. It seared your feet unforgivingly and relentlessly. Why didn't you notice before when you were with Shadow...?
Finally, in the distance, you saw Barrett, Gilbert, and Shadow. They were standing in a group having a seemingly intense conversation. When you found them, you were able to limp a little faster towards them. "Sha... dow!" you called desperately.
Shadow looked back behind him with surprise, but it was Barrett who ran up to greet you. "Whoa, (y/n)!" He hurried next to you and supported you from the side. It was thanks to him that you didn't end up doing a face-plant in the ground. "What happened?! You look terrible!"
You gasped for air and leaned your weight into Barrett. "Trouble... Shadow... Blood!" you manage to say between breathes. Not that it mattered because it made no sense without context.
Gilbert walked over and calmly started analyzing the symptoms. "Easy, easy... You'll be okay. Let me see what's wrong and we'll be able to help." The soothing sound of his voice did help you relax a little bit. Gradually, your rapidly beating heart calmed down. "Any pain, (y/n)?" he asked.
"I can't walk or breathe right... And my stomach hurts... Everything is sore and hurts...," you squeaked.
"You also have a nasty bruise...," Barrett pointed out. His face suddenly lit up like a firecracker. The sudden realization he had was too much for him to keep to himself. "No way... It can't be!"
"What?!" Shadow demanded with extreme concern on his face.
"Shadow, what have you done?!" Barrett cried dramatically.
Shadow looked more bewildered than you've ever seen him before. "ME?! What do you mean?! I didn't do anything!"
"Oh, you forget, good sir...," Barrett said. His face was dark and serious which instilled more fear in you. Did Barrett seriously have to be so dramatic?!
"FORGET WHAT?!" Shadow demanded.
Gilbert shot a warning glance over at Barrett, but the boy didn't notice. He was too wrapped up in his fun. An evil smirk crossed Barrett's face as he locked eyes with Shadow. "Young miss (y/n)..., IS PREGNANT!!"
...
Shadow's face was nothing short of pure shock. He was so shocked that he couldn't move or react beyond the shocked face he had. After a solid minute of silent shock, he became wild panic. As expected, Barrett enjoyed the spectacle way too much. "Pregnant?! But that's not--! It can't--! I don't even--! WHAT?!"
Gilbert had his hand covering his face in shame and embarrassment. Barrett would be the bane of his existence forever... "Barrett! Don't jump to conclusions! There's no way that symptoms would show up so fast. Everybody, calm down!" The 'calm down' part was mostly for Shadow.
Being raised on the Ark alone, you were completely unaware as to why everyone was panicking so much. "But... What even is... 'pregnant,' Gilbert?" you asked curiously.
Barrett grabbed onto your shoulders with a huge grin. He was clearly still convinced his theory was true. "It means you're going to be a mom to an adorable baby hedgehog!" he shouted excitedly. "And Shadow's going to be a dad!"
Shadow's face was bright red. You weren't sure if it was because he was flustered or because he was angry at Barrett. "I'm NOT going to be anything of the sort! You're crazy! It's impossible! It's--!"
Gilbert jumped into the conversation. "But if she continues having symptoms later, say in a month or two, then it could definitely be possible."
Shadow's ears flattened defensively. "No, it's not! Gilbert, what's really wrong with her?!"
Barrett giggled to himself. "He's in denial..."
"SHUT UP!!" Shadow retorted harshly. His tone was so sharp that it felt like a dagger jabbing your eardrums.
Remembering the fever from a while ago, you wondered if it had something to do with your immune system still being weak to all of Earth's elements. With millions of germs and bacteria on the planet, it would take more than one little fever to get you completely well again. "It could be a relapse of the fever I had a little while ago...," you finally point out.
Shadow took a deep breath and nodded in agreement. "Now that's a reasonable assumption."
Barrett looked really disappointed. "Man, I really wanted to know what the baby would look like... Hedgehog or human? What do you think, Shadow?" He was barely able to refrain himself from giving the annoyed hedgehog an elbow nudge out of fear for his own well-being.
Shadow didn't reply to the question. He shot you a concerned glance. "(Y/N), I was originally going to take you with me to the Space Colony, but now I think that it would be better if you stayed here. You need your rest to get better."
The vision from earlier flashed through your mind again. Maria... The blood! The aliens!! "N-No!" you cried. With a feeble step towards Shadow, you felt heat blast through your cheeks and the world started rapidly spinning once again. This time, Shadow caught onto you.
"You're staying," he firmly answered.
There was an intense anger burning deep within your chest when you heard these words. They contradicted what he told you only yesterday. "Shadow...," you began. Your voice was quivering, but it clearly conveyed the anger you were feeling. "You promised... That you'd never leave me alone!"
He was taken aback by your sharp words and tone. Suddenly, he remembered that moment in the mountains. In that room. In those moments just before you got kidnapped. He did promise. When he remembered, he winced. "I did...," Shadow reluctantly admitted.
Even when he admitted that he promised, the anger didn't settle down. It just burned hotter. A few days ago, you would've just let him go to the Ark and stayed out of his way. Ever since his date with you to the bottom of the sea, you felt like you were the most important thing in the world to him. He practically said so himself. But now..., his face and voice both agreed that you were just getting in his way. Getting in the way of his chaos emeralds. Getting in the way of reviving his Maria. Upon realizing this, you suddenly had an epiphany.
"You've... never loved me as much as Maria," you slowly mumbled. Each word was a little knife to your heart. He really would choose Maria over you. He really would break a promise just to save her! The dizziness and sickness you felt earlier dissolved. In their place was anger, jealousy, and despair. And you weren't afraid to lob them in Shadow's face. "After everything, I thought that you cared about me most of all. But you NEVER loved me as much as Maria! AND SHE'S DEAD!" you repeated loudly for him to hear.
Barrett drew in a sharp gasp and got out his camera. His fingers rapidly started snapping pictures. "First fight!" he whispered to Gilbert before continuing to take the pictures.
Shadow was clearly extremely shocked. A few days ago, he would've just let you dig into him, but there was a change in him too. He flattened his ears defensively and evenly held your gaze. "I believe that I also promised Maria that I would also be there for her. If I get that chaos emerald, I'll be able to redeem myself! My purpose will be fulfilled!"
"YOU IDIOT!" you shouted in his face. Suddenly, you took a step back from Shadow and cupped your hands over your mouth in shock. Never in the history of ever had you ever said anything so harsh towards Shadow. What was... this feeling that was making you say such horrible things to Shadow...?
It was already too late to remedy the situation. Once those two words escaped your mouth, Shadow couldn't help but become more than a little defensive. Whether done on purpose or by instinct, the spiky quills on his back suddenly seemed to jut out a little farther than normal and take on a threatening appearance. His hands were balled into fists and his eyes were forced into a glare. "I only want to save your sister! Why are you so upset about that?!"
The regret from earlier was only there for a millisecond and the rage returned. "That's just it! You only want to save my sister! That's all you've really wanted this whole time! You'd sooner go after a stupid chaos emerald than keep a promise! And do you want to know what I've been thinking for the past few days?! I DON'T THINK MARIA WANTS TO COME BACK!!"
Something in Shadow couldn't handle the thought of Maria wanting to stay dead. After all, why would she leave him to suffer alone? Wanting to stay dead would be so selfish of her! When he finally came around to giving a reply, his voice became like ice and was so low and so deep that you thought that another outburst would send him to your throat. Eyes cold like ice... yet blazing like a fire. Something so cold, but really just... evil. "Wait... You're so scared of her coming back that you're going to stop me. THE ULTIMATE LIFE FORM! And you, puny human, are going to fight me to ensure that the one human who deserved to live more than anyone stays DEAD! Or maybe... You're just terrified of her coming back and telling me the truth. The truth that you killed Maria to get her out of the picture to get to ME!"
The look in Shadow's eyes wasn't his own. He was being driven insane by... something. There was no way the beast talking to you was Shadow. It couldn't be... It couldn't be... "Shadow, don't be ridiculous!! I never killed my sister! I love Maria more than anything! But that's why I believe she should continue to rest in peace! I've received visions from her and she never once said she wanted to come back! SHE ONLY WARNED ME ABOUT YOU, SHADOW! And here you are... Bringing the dead back to life because of some silly mission that you put in your head! She's far better where she is! I know it!!"
The words that came from Shadow's mouth were lined with deadly poison intended to kill all argument. His lips were drawn back in a snarl that sent chills up and down your spine. A strange growling noise rose from his throat as he talked... and you didn't like it one bit. "How could you possibly know? You've never spent a whole day with Maria in your life. Why did I expect a naive girl like yourself to understand me? If you can't accept my mission, then I can't accept you. And I even suspect that you killed Maria... I'll kill you." Shadow turned his back on you and teleported away... to the Ark. The silence he left behind was almost more painful than when he was there a moment ago. It forced you to think and reflect about what just happened...
You fell to your knees on the ground. This wasn't right... Neither of you were yourselves! The adrenaline from moments earlier wore off and you found the world spinning again. So the feverish illness you had never really wore off during the argument... No..., that wasn't even an argument... It was a declaration of war. Your mind was able to relieve itself of the blinding anger, and you came to realize just how big of a mistake you made. Alone. Without the Shadow you knew and loved. Without the Maria you grew up with. All of the things you feared most... were coming true. Fat, salty tears welled up in your eyes and began to pour down your cheeks when you realized that the only two people in the world who made you happy... were either gone or twisted beyond the point of recognition.
Before you could get the chance to wallow in your sorrow a second longer, Barrett found his way over to you. Rather than joking or playing or making fun of the situation, he sat in the sand next to you with a despair-ridden expression. Your older brother knew not to speak or to try to draw your mind away from what happened. For once, he acted like the responsible big brother he was supposed to be for his only remaining little sister. He smashed his camera on the ground that contained all of the pictures he got of you and Shadow over the past few days and buried the remains. All of the horrid memories left behind on the beach under the sand. Once he finished that, he pulled his arms around you and refused to let go. You were too tired to resist him. Besides, his embrace was assuring... It told you that you still weren't completely alone. It told you that there was someone else in the world who cared about you as much as Shadow and Maria did. When Barrett finally pulled away from you, he hung his head in shame. "I'm... an awful brother..."
Gilbert hung back and let Barrett talk. The beach was oddly silent now that Shadow was gone. The ocean was still. The wind was calm. Not even the seagulls had the nerve to squawk. It was just you and Barrett. Brother and sister.
Barrett heaved a heavy sigh. "(Y/N), there are so many things I wish I could tell you all at once... I've been so insensitive towards you and Shadow lately... And I've been becoming all the bigger of a bother for both of you. I know... because I was testing Shadow."
Once again for the millionth time that day, you were very confused. "Testing...? For what?"
"The alien DNA I told you about... It's... very dangerous. How much do you know about it?" Barrett asked you bluntly.
Thinking back to the visions you had, you began to explain from the beginning. "Well, back on the Ark, there was this large, floating alien who would force his blood upon Shadow. The blood would give Shadow strange reactions... Like, one time, he "blew up" as a result of the blood and passed out another time... He'd go into rehab and stay there until he could handle the blood concentrations...," you explained slowly. Barrett's eyes were wide with wonder at how much you knew already, but you weren't done yet. "When I was little, I was still able to go around the colony and play with Maria. We were looking at the capsules and Shadow was in one of them... surrounded by black goo. I believe... it was the alien's blood. He looked like he was in pain, but we could do nothing to help him... When I saw what was happening to him, my whole being knew... that it wasn't right... That Shadow... was... in trouble."
Barrett nodded sadly. He sat across from you so he could better fill in the holes of the story. "You know a lot. Almost more than me. I was one of the assistant scientists helping to develop Project Shadow on the Ark... among other projects. Gilbert was looking into the creation of the Phantom Ruby. As an assistant, I wasn't supposed to know much. I was just supposed to help make the most powerful creature I could with a strange black liquid. And so, I created the Biolizard alongside Gerald. It was small, but we knew it would get much bigger. The Biolizard... was the first test when it came to Project Shadow. We wanted to know... if the alien blood could actually sustain the life of a living creature. And it could. But while it can keep a creature alive and always let it grow bigger and stronger, it also caused the host to grow wild and animal-like..."
Suddenly the pieces were coming together. That meowing lizard... Why it was so much bigger than a regular lizard in the vision. And why Shadow... was in so much pain. The blood was responsible... The aliens! No wonder G.U.N. freaked out when they heard about the experiments! While it was true that they shot Maria, they didn't know who or what might have the alien's blood. They didn't know who was a threat... They only wanted what was best. Project Shadow just went out of control.
"Shadow went crazy after the first few days of being immersed in the alien's blood. He started acted like... the Shadow who just left here. Shouting death threats and growling like coyote. We were also experimenting with chaos energy at the time, and we thought that maybe it could stabilize him somehow. We injected him with the power of chaos and created inhibitor rings so he wouldn't use all of it up immediately while fighting. The chaos energy was strong enough to combat the blood's power and he was able to become relatively stable. But even with Shadow being the Ultimate Life Form and stable... he wasn't strong enough to the aliens. They continued giving him more and more blood. We knew he wouldn't be able to tolerate much more of it...," Barrett continued. Your head was spinning and most of what he was saying was flowing over your head.
"So, that's why he was exploding and passing out?" you asked.
"Exactly," Barrett replied.
"Huh."
"I bet you're asking yourself why Gerald thought doing all of these experiments would save Maria. Well, the aliens made a deal with us... The Ultimate Creature of their own blood whom they can control... for Maria's life and health. Gerald was desperate when they showed up, so he agreed to their terms. He didn't even know how they would save her," he pointed out. Hearing those words showed you just how desperate Gerald was to save her. He didn't even know if the aliens would keep their word.
"So..., grampa was crazy...," you mumbled.
Barrett nodded somberly.
"And Shadow's going crazy as a result of the blood..."
Barrett nodded again.
A thought struck you. Barrett said that the host would become "animal-like" as a result of the blood. Did that mean... "Barrett? Was... that whole thing under the sea yesterday..." You swallowed hard before continuing. "Did Shadow only do it because of the blood...?"
"Probably," Barrett admitted without hesitation. Before you could feel any worse, he jumped back into the conversation. "(Y/N), there's one other thing I need to tell you about Shadow. And it's just that... he really did love you. He wasn't only being manipulated by the alien blood the whole time. I dare say that the real Shadow really does love you as much as he loves Maria... if not more."
The real Shadow... Barrett's words were supposed to be comforting, but you couldn't stop thinking about the fact that the old Shadow was gone. And now... the new Shadow was alone on the Space Colony Ark. There was nothing more you could do.
Everything's up to him now...
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