TWENTY-THREE

My mom did end up inviting Sophia for breakfast. It was really fucking awkward.

I hadn't meant to make her feel so unwelcomed, but my anger towards my mom blinded me from any hospitality I once had. Jameson was highly amused by the whole situation, just eating his food with a little smirk on his face.

Mom looked displeased, as if she expected it to go any differently. It was just uncomfortable and we all felt it.

Sophia said goodbye and thanked my mom for the food, giving me a small hug before she left. I cleared the table without a word. Mom gripped her cup of coffee and watched wordlessly while Jameson helped. Beth was dying for him to go play with her, but he insisted on trying to help my mom however he could to try to win her favor.

Seemed impossible.

Trevor asked if we could go play soccer in the park when we were finished cleaning up and I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to have a talk. Jameson agreed, saying he'd be fine staying at the house and just to call him if I needed him.

I was changing in my room and he kissed me tenderly, holding me by my waist. "Be careful, okay? If anybody tries to come up to you, call me," he said, scaring the daylights out of me. I looked up at him worriedly, to which he kissed between my eyebrows. "You'll be fine."

Trevor and I drove to the soccer field. I asked Beth if she wanted to come but she didn't like soccer, so she stayed back.

It was a beautiful sunny day. It wasn't too cold, the sun supplied enough warmth that we both sufficed in just our lightest winter coats. Trevor dribbled his soccer ball onto the field, a small flex of how much more athletic he was than me at half of my age.

"One on one?" he asked, smiling deviously.

"You're on," I said, though I knew I was going to get stomped. I never played soccer in school. I tried lacrosse in grade eight, but didn't stick to it. "Go easy on me."

Trever laughed. "No way."

He looked just like his dad. I only vaguely remember what he looked like, but he was a spitting image. I was only ten when Mom brought home her new boyfriend Doug and not even a month later she was pregnant. I was twelve when Doug overdosed in the bathroom and he was promptly kicked out after being resuscitated by the EMTs.

But Trevor looked just like him. He had the same nose, same eyes. The only thing he seemed to get from my mom was her smile, radiant and true.

We ran around the field for hours. It was honestly a blast and I missed this. Guilt struck me when thinking about how much this must have meant for Trevor, even if he didn't realize it. He laughed loudly when he scored on me for the tenth time in a row, doing a victory dance.

"So," I breathed, trying to catch my breath. I was sitting on the metal bench, freezing cold but refreshing against my sweaty skin while Trevor was doing tricks with the ball. "Why are you trying to give Momma a heart attack?"

He shrugged, chasing after the runaway soccer ball when it rolled away. "I'm not."

"You keep getting in trouble," I said pointedly. "I know that the last thing was because you were defending your friend, but what about not listening to your teachers? Mom said you told Ms. Rita to fuck off?"

"I didn't even say that!" Trevor exclaimed.

"She also said you stole from her desk, skipped class to hang out in the gym? Trev, Mom said you told another kid you were gonna beat their ass."

He was getting angry. "No."

"So everyone's just lying?" I asked, standing up. He kicked the ball towards me. I caught it with my foot and kicked it back. "Look, I know it's hard. It feels like everything you're doing is for no reason."

"You don't know anything," he pouted, avoiding looking at me.

When the ball came back, I didn't kick it back, making him look at me. "Dude, we come from the same house," I said, making him roll his eyes. "We both know Momma can be a bit much, but she works really hard to make sure you eat every night, you get new soccer cleats when your old ones break, that you go to school so you can get out of this town."

"I don't care about any of that," he grumbled.

"Yes, you do," I said. "Didn't you say you wanna play soccer for Philadelphia when you grow up?"

He nodded.

"Come here," I said, opening my arms. He reluctantly walked over to me and hugged me. "I got out and went to college and I'm really happy, dude. All you gotta do is just go to school, do your work, and be good for mom. That's it!"

Trevor sighed. "It's hard without you," he said while pulling away. "Can't you just go to college here?"

"I wish," I said, but not really.

We played another round and I stayed away from the serious talk. He seemed to cheer up pretty quick while playing, which I admired. I wished I could make his little nine-year-old problems go away. He was a good kid, I knew he was, but shit was only going to get harder.

After he smoked me once again, I looked around at the park. I used to come here all the time. Mostly for illegal activities with Dylan and Mac, but still. It was always a nice nostalgic feeling being in Edgewood for short periods of time.

I froze when I saw someone standing by the farther goal post. It was unmistakably Carlos Hernandez, Julianna's oldest brother, and probably the scariest. He was staring right in our direction, making my skin crawl.

"Hey, Trev," I called as he was shooting the ball full force into the goal we were standing near, "you hungry?"

Trevor dramatically yelled, "Yes!"

As quickly as I could, I herded him off of the soccer field and to my car, looking over my shoulder. Carlos was still standing there, too far to see his face, but facing us. I shivered, getting in my car and peeling out of the parking lot.

There was a Hernandez stalking us at the park, I said in my mind, hoping Jameson would hear it.

Are you okay? he immediately said back.

I sighed, pulling into a fast food joint that I knew Trevor would like. We're fine, I said, adding on, we'll be home soon. It appeared we killed almost three hours at the park and I was beat. We got some food and headed home.

"Is Jameson your boyfriend?" Trevor asked after a moment of silence. I choked on my spit.

"How the hell did you know?" I asked, not feeling like denying it. Mom would have a stroke if she'd heard that question.

Trevor shrugged, pulling a fry out of the bag. "Heard Momma talking about it on the phone," he said. "He seems pretty cool."

That made me smile. Kids really did not give a fuck unless they were told otherwise. I ruffled his hair and kept driving home, my eyes glued to the rear view mirror just in case.

I couldn't shake the anxious feeling. If Carlos was at the park, did that mean they knew where I was at all times? It felt unsafe to leave the house without Jameson now. I couldn't expose the kids to whatever the hell was going on, it was too risky.

At my house, I looked around to see if there was anybody following us, but didn't see anything. I got Trevor inside and locked the door behind us, my heart pounding in my chest.

I was not at all mentally prepared to see Jameson sitting on the floor of Beth's room in a princess crown, sipping pretend tea out of a plastic teacup. He smiled at me, warming my entire body. I sat down next to him and bumped our knees.

"Nice crown," I said. He batted his eyelashes at me, making me laugh out loud.

"He's Princess Cotton Candy," Beth said like it was obvious. "I'm Princess Cupcakes."

I bowed accordingly. "Forgive me, princesses," I said, and I already felt better. This was probably the cutest thing I'd ever seen. Jameson handed me a teacup and demonstrated 'pinkies out' and I wanted to kiss him more than anything.

Beth put a tray of cookies on the table in front of us, also plastic, and we dug in. "Jameson! That's not how a lady eats her cookies!" she squealed when Jameson pretended to just stuff three whole cookies in his mouth. She showed him how to properly take dainty little bites and he nodded knowingly.

I wondered what would happen if Jameson and I stayed together forever. Would we have our own kids one day to play princesses with? My cheeks warmed at the thought and Jameson seemed to have heard what I was thinking about because he grinned at me. I blushed even harder.

For the rest of the day, we spent time with my family. Mostly the kids, my mom was quiet in the corner. I just didn't fucking get it. I was her first born, she knew me inside and out. Why was this so hard to accept?

Jameson and I sat outside on the back porch after dinner. He sighed, looking out at the swampy marsh that went along the back of all of the houses on my street.

I hated the smell of the swamp. It wasn't all that strong, but the salty, mucky smell always tickled my nose. Jameson noticed me wriggling my nostrils and made fun of me.

"I spoke with your mom while you were out with your brother," he said after a while of comfortable silence. I looked over nervously, that can't have been good.

"And?"

"Don't worry about it," he said with a sly smile.

That little shit. I pushed on his chair, making it teeter on its legs. He laughed and did it back, actually making mine fall over. I hit the ground hard and winced, looking at him in shock.

"Oh, shit, sorry," he said, trying to suppress another laugh. He helped me up and stood my chair up right. "I didn't mean to push you that hard, babe."

Before I knew it we were play-fighting, my hands swinging up to smack him but he kept grabbing my wrists. He kissed my hands softly, making me stop the struggling I was doing just to piss him off. I glanced through the window to the kitchen and when I didn't see anybody, I leaned up and kissed him.

He cut it short, not wanting my mom to come out and see it. "What did you say to my mother?" I demanded, but he only shook his head.

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you," Jameson said with an evil laugh.

I pouted, making him reach over and run his thumb over my bottom lip. I bit it, which only made him raise his eyebrows with a familiar look in his eye. Oh, no. I just turned him on at my homophobic mom's house. I couldn't help but laugh at the irony.

We went inside and the couch was cleared off. No more pillow and blanket. Mom was sitting on the recliner and looked defeated.

"You can sleep in Cade's room," she said. My jaw dropped to the floor. Literally. "Keep quiet, don't do anything gross, and don't make me regret it."

I nodded. Jameson smiled gratefully at her and surprised both of us by going over and giving her a hug. She didn't hug back, just held her arms out stiffly. Mom looked at me with an exasperated look over his shoulder and I put my hand over my mouth to stifle my smile. He pulled away and thanked her.

So much for the Big Bad Wolf.

We went to my room and as soon as the door was shut, he was kissing me. I closed my eyes in surprise and gasped against his mouth when he hoisted me up, my legs wrapping around his waist.

I giggled, burying my face in his neck while he squeezed my ass. He backed up until he was sitting on the bed, my body straddling him. "I don't think I wanna go another night without you next to me," he said, running his hands up and down my thighs.

"It was one night, you freak," I laughed, kissing his jaw. "How in the hell did you charm my mom into letting this happen?"

"I got you, didn't I?" he whispered in my ear.

We made out until our lips were raw and I was a little too horny than appropriate in my mother's house. He kept trying to unbutton my pants, but I swatted his hands away, making him bite down on my neck. I gasped and looked at him.

"We absolutely cannot do this here."

Jameson jutted a lip out, making him look adorable. "What, you can't be quiet?"

I bit my cheek. He captured me in another kiss, his hands pulling me closer. I felt how hard he was and my mouth fell open, leaving ample room for his tongue to conquer. He let out a groan and I pulled away, slapping a hand over his mouth.

"Who can't be quiet?"

He flipped me onto the bed with a grin and the games began.