It used to be the most magical time of the year. Christmas was always Y/N's favorite time of the year, which made it his as well. He loved seeing the excitement in her eyes as she decorated the entire bunker. The way she made sure everyone felt special during the holidays.

Pouring a glass of whiskey, I flipped open the lid of the heavy wooden box. A box that normally stayed hidden throughout the rest of the year. Shoved into the back of his desk, a giant reminder of everything that had been his world not so long ago.

It was full of small mementos. Things that would mean nothing else to anyone, but it reminded me of you. The first ornament she had bought me. One of those cheesy one's you pay an extra five dollars to get your name written in marker. The words were smudged, but still there. Dean and Y/N, 2012. Rubbing my thumb across it, I could still remember the glee on her face as she handed it over.

Sitting it carefully on the table, I reached in, pulling out the soft, almost threadbare teddy bear. It was missing an eye and should have gone in the trash a long time ago. But it had been hers. She had taken it everywhere with her, shoving it in her duffle bag. It was the only thing she had left from her parents, and she had treasured it as if it was made of gold.

It soon joined the ornament on the table as I reached farther into the box, grabbing a handful of photos. The things that hurt the most to look at.

Her. Every photograph was a picture of her. Her, alone smiling as she hung an ornament up on the tree. Laughing at me as I tried to take her picture while driving down the highway. There was a picture of her wrapped tight in my arms, her head pressed against my chest as I kissed the top of her head. Sam had taken that one, and I would be forever grateful for it.

There was a picture of her with tears streaming down her face. She had hated that picture so much. It had been an accidental capture. It had been the day she had found out...well I didn't even want to think about that right now.

A tear slipped down my cheek as I pulled out the last photo. It was the last photo I had taken of her, and it hurt my heart still to see her like this. So frail and thin. Her skin had become ashen, her hair thin and bald. But she was still as beautiful as the day I had met her. It was only a day before she had passed away.

"I miss you so much sweetheart," I whispered, my heart aching so much I thought it was going to shatter. It had been two years without her, and each and every day I still missed her as much as that horrible first day.

"You okay?" Sam asked, patting me on the shoulder.

"No," I answered truthfully, turning the picture to show him. "It's Christmas Eve Sam. Exactly two years since she..."

"I know," Sam's eyes were full of sadness and pain. He missed her too, I knew that. They had been close friends. But Y/N, she had been my soulmate, if you believed in that stuff. "There's not a day that goes by that I wish she had let us do something. That she would have let Cas fix her."

"Y/N wasn't like that," I sighed. "I wanted that in the worst way, but she made me promise. And I've regretted that promise every day since."

Sam poured a glass of whiskey, filling mine up as well. "Toast to Y/N? The best thing that ever happened to us."

"To Y/N." I raised my glass, tossing the strong whiskey down in one shot, hoping the burn would take some of the heartache away, but it didn't.

"Do you want to set up a tree? Or some directions?" Sam offered, but I shook my head.

"Sorry Sammy, but I can't. Ever since she's been gone, I just can't."

He nodded, running a hand through his hair. "I'm gonna go grab some grub. I'll pick something up for you too."

He was gone, and I sat there, staring at the last thing in the box. Another, much smaller box that haunted me to this day. Reaching in, I rubbed my thumb along the soft velvet, clicking open the clasp. Inside was a small diamond ring. It wasn't much, but it would have been perfect for her. If I only hadn't waited to ask her. I had been planning on asking her to marry me on Christmas. It was her favorite day of the year, and it had seemed perfect. But she had breathed her last breath on Christmas Eve, and my wonderful plan had stayed a secret. Not only a secret but a horrible reminder of how much I had messed up.

Angrily wiping away a tear, I tossed it back into the box, before taking the bottle of whiskey and taking a healthy swig. "I'm sorry I failed you," I whispered.

"Dean, you didn't fail me," her soft voice answered me. The crystal glass slipped from my fingers, shattering on the floor.

"I must be drunk," I muttered, rubbing my hand on my forehead. There's no way I could have heard her voice. She was long gone, taken from me way too soon.

"Dean," her voice sounded again, and I turned around cautiously, no idea what I was going to see. What was there took my breath away.

"Y/N?" I gasped out, my eyes wide as I stared at her in shock. She looked good, healthy, and happy. A soft smile on her face as she leaned against the bookcase, dressed in her favorite purple and black flannel, her AC/DC shirt peaking out underneath. "What are...how... you're..," I couldn't complete a single sentence.

Sure, as a hunter I was used to all sorts of things. Ghosts, zombies, anything that could come back to life. But we had burned her bones, and I had never expected to see her again.

"I've missed you Dean," she said, moving closer to me, her favorite perfume wafting around, gripping my heart and squeezing it tight. I had slept with her shirt for weeks after her death, the smell slowly fading. I had missed that smell so much.

"How are you here?"

She reached out, brushing her soft palm against my cheek. Her touch so real and wanted. "I've been keeping an eye on you. I was hoping you would have moved on by now."

I shook my head fervently. "Never. Y/N, you were my only one. How am I supposed to move on from that?"

She sighed. "I was afraid of that. Dean, Cas knew how much you were suffering. And well, he pulled some strings and here I am. I'm back Dean."

"This isn't a trick?" My heart was in my throat, knowing that I probably couldn't survive a trick like this.

She sat down on my lap, her body so warm, so full of life. "No tricks Dean. Just a Christmas miracle. You can ask Cas."

"She's right Dean," Cas spoke up from behind us. "I wanted to do something special for you, and this was all I could think of. I hope you approve."

"Hell yeah I approve!" I exclaimed, wrapping my arms around Y/N. Her lips fit perfectly against mine, everything finally perfect once again.