"You gave us an order, Castiel, and we have you our trust. Don't lose it over one man." Hannah handed him an angle blade, he took it with slightly shaky hands. "This is justice."

Cas froze the blade still in his hand, he knew that he should do it. That it was justice but when he looked up into those emerald eyes he just couldn't.

Those eyes? They were his home.

They were lazy afternoon kisses hidden in the empty hallways of the bunker, just out of sight from whoever was there that day.

They were that time early in the morning, long after the world was asleep but just before anyone would even think of waking up, when they were breathless and sweaty and naked with their hand interlocked between them as they laid there.

And he knew, he knew better then most, that he shouldn't betray his entire family, his entire species, for one man.

A man that he was sure to outlive by many, many years and would eventually forget, no matter how hard he tried to remember him.

He should stick with his family, with the only people who could truly understand him.

He shouldn't give that up for one man, a man he didn't know his own feelings towards no less.

It wasn't love. It couldn't be love.

Angels don't full in love. They can't.

So he kept staring in Deans emerald eyes because they are warm and they are safe and they are home and some other feeling he can't quite place, he truly believes that the day he has to live without seeing those eyes will be the worst day of his life.

And then, Dean gives him this look. A look that Cas doesn't doubt, for even a second, he has given to Sam a thousand times.

A look that said 'It's okay, I trust you. It's okay if you have to do this.'

It was like a kick to the gut and he subconsciously took a step back.

He was closer to Sam now, not that anyone was that fair apart, all huddle together and now that he was thinking about it, it was getting hard to breath and there were to many people, to many bodies in this room.

He wanted to run, to go back to the bunker with Sam and Dean.

To sit closer to Dean then friends should and maybe, if he was feeling particularly risky, he would reach for Deans hand under the table where he would interlock their fingers and Dean would squeeze his hand in comfort or maybe just to acknowledge that Cas was there.

He wasn't sure which one it was.

And then Sam would glance down to the table as if he had X-ray vision and could see right through it, as if he could see them holding hands, maybe it was the blush on Deans face that gave it away.

He never said anything even though Cas was sure he knew.

But he wasn't there, he was here with too many people surrounding him and a choice to make an-

"Castiel?" His eyes snapped to Hannah's, who was staring at him expectedly and Cas has to be sure he was making the right decision.

He had to be sure.

He risked a quick glance at Sam who looked like he was near tears at the thought of Cas killing his brother, though at a later date he would joke that he was just so happy he could finally get another iPod to go in the impala (they all knew that he would do no such thing or maybe he would since Dean once threaten that if anything happened to his baby he would come back to kick Sams ass) before his eyes once again met Deans.

Dean nodded slightly as if he was saying that it was truly okay, that he wouldn't fight him and Cas knew that Dean was okay with it.

They have had this conversation before, the one were Cas told him that if it came down to it, he would pick his family.

They knew they were on the opposite sides of a war they were both doomed to lose and Dean understood that Cas had to pick the angels.

He had had to and yet he was still stood here staring because he had to be sure. He had to be sure. He had to be sure. He had to be-

"No. I can't." Cas drooped the angel blade to the ground with a clang.

Hannah tried to stutter out a response, she was sure Cas would do it and to be honest Cas was sure he would do it too but the world 'no' tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop it.

Dean took the opportunity to pull himself out off the angels grip, he grabbed Sams wrist as well as Cas' hand and ran, pulling the two behind him.

At some point Dean had let go of Sam but Cas was still in shock and had Dean let go he probably would have just stood still.

He doesn't quite remember getting into the impala, he doesn't know how he ended up in the back seat with Dean next to him and Sam driving.

He has a vague memory of someone saying that they were chasing them and thank god the angel couldn't fly anymore or they would be toast but that all he can remember apart from Deans eyes and the fact that he understood now.

Before he could tell someone, anyone his revelation they were back at the bunker and climbing down the stars and into the war room.

People were there, even if Sam had said that nobody was here when they were walking down the hundred of steps, there were so many steps.

But there was. Jody and Donna were dishing out takeaway while Rowena was telling some story to Claire and Alex. Crowley was drinking whiskey with Bobby next, Garth mindlessly talking to the pair even if they weren't properly listening.

Charlie and Kevin were stuffing there faces, talking about some program Cas had never seen but he was guessing Sam had since he made a comment about it as he took a plate of food and sat with them.

Cas stared as Dean stood next to him to close for it to be just friendly, watching Cas rather then the scene in front of them.

"I invited them." Dean muttered, the closeness being the only reason he was heard. "When we were in the car I texted them. You need to be with family right now."

And of course Dean knew exactly what he needed, he needs Cas to know that although he chose him and not the other angels he chose his family.

And fuck, Cas thought he understood when they were in the car but now he understood better then he ever thought possible.

"I love you." He blurted out, his brain giving him no chances to stop himself, the noise of the other talking masking it nicely so only Dean heard. He was the only one who needed too.

Cas risked looking at Dean, he hadn't looked over during their short conversation, and he looked so unbelievably happy that Cas was worried he'd pull a muscle smiling so much.

Before Cas was able to voice his concerns Deans lips were on his and he tasted like pie and beer with a hit of blood and they had kissed before but this time was different.

Cas kisses back of course, it wasn't like the movies it wasn't filled with sparks and fireworks instead it was gentle and soft and so full of love that Cas could die right now and die happy.

They heard cheering and a wolf whistle in the back ground and Cas is pretty sure someone grumbled something about losing a bet, he was far too happy to care though.

All too soon they were pulling away so that Dean could breath (Cas himself could have kept going but Dean and his stupid human lungs had to stop) but he kept close, hands still on Cas' hips and Cas' hands were still in Deans hair, face inches apart.

"I love you too." Dean whispered against the angels lips.

—

I hope y'all enjoyed!

This oneshot is a bit all over the place, the timeline doesn't really match up and half the characters there are supposed to be dead but yolo.

I hope you are all okay n looking after yourselves!!

Stay safe my dudes!