Hello Daddy Cas.

Today I finally talked with Daddy D. I cried for him. I heard him pray for you. So I just whispered that I love you. And he heard it in his head just like you always heard me.

I was so happy.

And he let me to suck his finger.

It calmed me down.

I am five months old.

It is hard for him to take care of me.

I know I have wings, he think about it couple of times.

I just don't know if it is the right moment to show them to him.

They are so little.

But I like them.

And he actually knows that I have wings, because on second day I flew to you when he came after me with that gun.

He is asleep now. He always stays up until he is sure I am sleeping.

He is so caring.

I love looking into his eyes.

I understand why you loved him so much.

__

It is close to morning now.

I am awake and watching him sleep.

I don't wanna wake him up because he sleeps so little.

I am worried about him.

But I like to calm him down.

It is little funny to watch how fast he relax.

And he didn't even realise that I made him do it.

Oops. I just woke him up.

I love you Daddy Cas.

__

Hello Daddy Cas.

Today I started to crawl. Daddy D was so proud. He called Uncle Sam to come and watch me.

I love making them happy.

Daddy D laughed.

Oh how beautiful is his laughter.

Now I am watching him making healthy food for me.

He wants me to grow healthy and strong.

Actually his burgers and sandwitches look delicious. But he never allows me to taste them.

He sings while he cooks my food.

And he always try to make me laugh with doing weird things.

Now he is singing and playing animal princess.

He looks so funny.

I love this side of him.

And the way his eyes light up hearing my giggles.

It is worth laughing.

And delicious vegetables come.

Daddy D love to feed me.

And I always give him big smiles as thank you's.

_

Daddy I just took my first step! Daddy D is crying now. I don't understand if he is crying from happiness or sadness.

He is happy that I took my first step but sad that you don't see it.

It makes me sad.

I hugged him tight.

I don't want him to be sad.

He misses you so much.

There was so much times when I woke up in the night and he just sit on the floor, clenching your trench coat and crying from how much he misses you.

It hurts me to see him this broken.

Will I be able to fix him, Daddy?

__

I woke up hearing Daddy D crying.

He is sitting on the floor with your trench coat. His heart is so broken.

He cries but it doesn't make him feel any better.

He is angry at himself for letting you down.

Daddy D put your coat carefully back in drawer and stood up. He turns around and met my eyes.

"Oh sweetcheek, I didn't want to wake you." He puts me in his lap, trying to smile.

"Are you hungry? Did you want anything?" He asks me in a tired and sad voice.

I shake my head no.

I just hug him tightly.

"I miss him too Daddy." I whisper inside of his head.

I hear him let out a broken sound.

"I know baby, I know." His voice broke.

I start to cry together with him.

___

Daddy Cas, why does it hurt so much?

Why can't it just stop?

I want you back.

For Daddy D.

Please, come back...

Today is a special day.

Daddy D made a cake.

Today is my one year birthday.

But it is one year since you died.

Daddy D is trying to be happy today for me.

But his sadness didn't disappear, it just saved itself for later when he would think I couldn't see it in his eyes.

Daddy D and Uncle Sammy is singing me a song.

I clap when they are done and blow the candle in the cake.

Daddy D took me in his lap.

He is so proud. He kisses my forehead.

That was good birthday.

Daddy D didn't cry and was happy without my powers.

I am proud of him.

I wish you would be here to see how perfect this birthday was.

I love you Daddy.

__

Today is Daddy D birthday. He said he don't celebrate them.

But i have little gift for him.

I hope he will like it.

I led Daddy D to our room and shut the doors.

He sits down on the bed and I stand in front of him.

Daddy D was smiling.

And I smile back.

I open my wings.

They have grown much larger than when I first used them.

He is looking at me in shock and admiration.

"Happy birthday daddy." I whispered into his head.

I speak only in his head. I don't like speaking using my mouth. So I talk only with Daddy.

___

Today Daddy D screamed at me. This is only the second time when he does it. First was on the second day after you died.

Today he is really angry at me. He keep yelling at me.

It hurt me that he is so mad at me.

I don't understand why he is so mad...

He keeps screaming and I can't..

I let tears stream down my face before disappearing in front of his angry eyes.

Nothing far. Just outside bunker where we burned you.

I sit there shaking and crying.

I heard Daddy D's worried voice calling me. Searching for me.

Why did he yell at me?

I don't understand Daddy.

I look up at sky, searching for answer.

Did I do something wrong?

What did I do wrong?

I let cold air bite me and shake me.

It is winter outside. Cold.

I heard Daddy D's voice from behind me yell out "Thank God!" Before lifting me into his arms.

I let him.

I feel so tried.

"I'm so so sorry baby, I was stupid about screaming at you. Please never do that again. You scare me to death." He was crying as he brought me inside.

I hug him and let his love warm me up.

__

Daddy! I need your help! Daddy D is sick. He is really sick. He can't even get out of bed. He sleep most of the time, his dreams full of nightmares. I try to fight them off to make him feel better. It did work at first but now everything is getting only worse.

I can't take his pain away anymore.

Daddy, please, please save Daddy D.

I don't wanna lose him too.

I have already lost you.

Please save him!

Daddy, please...

Please, please ,please!

___

Daddy... I don't have much strength left.

I give all of it to Daddy D. I tried to heal him. I don't understand why this all don't work?

He is getting worse with every day.

He murmurs your name in his nightmare filled sleep.

I think he wants to go to you...

Should I let him?

Will you take care of him if I let him go...?

___

Daddy...I don't know what to do...

I think my tears could made a ocean.

Daddy is worse. He keeps murmuring your name over and over.

I am so weak.

I have tried everything.

I feel that the end is close.

I can feel it.

And Daddy D don't have any strength to fight.

I let my tears run down my cheeks as I hug him with my wings.

"I let you be free...Daddy Cas will take care of you...He is waiting for you..." I whisper into his head.

I hold him in my arms and wings until his body turn ice cold.

There aren't enough tears for me to cry.

I am broken.

Only thing I can think is that Daddy D is now with you.

I let you two to be free...

I love you Daddy Cas and Daddy D.

I will always love you.

Your Charlie.

edited by Amberv12

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