It was late at night and everyone else was asleep. Sam was asleep next to you on the couch and Dean was probably in his room, the only person unaccounted for was Cas who you hadn’t seen in a few hours. You covered Sam with a blanket and headed back towards your room when you passed by Cas’s door and heard sniffling. You backtracked and stood in front of the door for a minute to make sure you weren’t hearing things then hesitantly knocked on the door when you heard the sniffling again.

“Cas… it’s me. Can I come in?” you asked softly.

“Yes…” came a quiet, almost inaudible voice. You opened the door to see Cas sitting crisscross on his bed with his head in his hands, he was wearing his trench coat again. It had been a long time since you had seen that coat and you could tell that there was something wrong. Hesitantly you moved over to stand next to him and sat down.

“Cas, what’s wrong buddy?” you asked quietly. You knew he hadn’t taken any of this easily; the poor guy had had his grace stolen from him, he had been tricked and as a consequence all the angels had fallen, his brothers and sisters and he blamed it all on himself.

“I can’t do this, _______. I do everything wrong, I try to do the right thing and I just end up hurting those I love,” he said clutching onto his coat and wrapping it around himself tighter. You pulled your legs up onto the bed and wrapped your arms around his shaking shoulders.

“Cas, I know you, you can do it. I know it’s hard, but none of this is your fault so don’t you dare keep thinking that. We’re always here for you; Sam, Dean, me… we’ll always be here for you,” you said encouragingly as you kissed the top of the fallen angel’s messy head as he curled into your hug.

“But it is my fault,” he retorted sounding weak and defeated, “My brothers and sisters are fallen because of me. God shouldn’t have brought me back, I only bring destruction,” he said, whispering the last part. You flamed up a bit inside with determination and moved yourself so that you were straddling his lap and gently cupped his face and pulled it up so that he was looking at you instead of the floor.

“Castiel look at me,” you said firmly, he finally pulled his eyes off of the ground and looked at you with his bluer than blue eyes which were red and watery, “We will fix this, you will get your grace back and we will save Heaven. I can promise you that, even if I have to move Heaven and Earth we will make this right, Metatron won’t win,” you said soundly and pressed your forehead to his, staring into his eyes. He pulled back and you could see all the emotions flowing through his eyes; trust, love, despair, hope, but still a broken, but mending, soul. He wrapped his arms around your waist tightly and you wrapped yours around his neck tightly. You heard him start to cry and just held him tighter.

“It’s okay, Cas. I gotcha, sh sh sh, it’s okay I’m here,” you said stroking his hair and trying to sooth him. You let him just hold you and cry into the crook of your neck, not noticing Sam standing in the doorway looking torn as he saw you trying to comfort the fallen angel.  He hung his head and kept walking towards his room.

Cas kept crying for another ten minutes but it felt like forever, the whole time you just held him reassuringly while he rocked back and forth a bit. He finally pulled back and cupped your face, looking into your (e/c) eyes like he was trying to search your soul.

“Feel any better?” you asked petting the side of his head.

“No, why would I feel better?” he asked confused.

You smiled sadly, “Sometimes crying makes people feel better; I guess you didn’t know that”. He shook his head slightly. You sighed and wiped away a stray tear with your thumb off his face.

“It just feels hopeless,” he said leaning his forehead against yours.

“Nothing is ever hopeless, Cas. You and me, we’re honorary Winchesters, and as long as we’re around there’s always hope,” you said looking into his tired eyes. He nodded slightly and his eyes started to droop. “You need to sleep, Cas. You’ll feel better,” you said sliding off of his lap and moved to stand up. He gripped your hand and looked up to you.

“Stay with me?” he asked quietly. You nodded.

“Let me go change, I’ll be right back,” you said squeezing his hand before walking back to your room the change. You stopped short when you saw Sam leaning in the doorway to his room.

“How’s he doing?” he asked with worry covering his face.

You shook your head, “Not very good, but he’s getting better slowly. We have to make this right, Sam, we have to,” you said sounding broken. He pulled you into a hug and leaned down to your ear.

“We will, he’s always better when you’re around if that makes it any better,” he whispered. He let go of you after you nodded into his chest and you went your separate ways. You changed quickly into a camisole and flannel pajama bottoms before heading back to Cas’s room. He was still sitting on the bed wearing his coat and you pulled him up.

“Cas, you need to get ready for bed,” you said rubbing his shoulders. He shrugged off his coat and you hung it up in his closet. He took off his jeans and jacket, leaving him in his boxers and t-shirt. He took your hand and pulled you into bed next to him. You pulled the sheets and he buried himself in them and nuzzled his head into your shoulder while wrapping his arms around your waist softly. You put your chin on his head and stroked his back and started humming an old lullaby softly.

“Thank you, _____, for everything,” you heard him sigh softly. You bent your head slightly and placed a small kiss on his temple and his eyes fluttered shut and his breathing deepened. He was finally asleep but you kept rubbing his back and humming until you yourself finally succumbed to sleep.