CastielxReader: Hard Not To Love

His eyes were bright, brighter than you had seen them in a long time. You smiled back at him. It felt nice to see him smile after so much pain he had endured; it felt as if your angel was back. Then you watched him look away; his blue eyes were soon glazed over as Cas lost himself to his thoughts and memories. 

You sighed sadly, stepping away from the kitchen window as you began cleaning left over dishes. You weren’t unhappy or hurt at all when Cas decided to sit in the garden all day and tortured himself for being human; at least that’s what you tried to convince yourself. 
You remember watching the night all the angels fell from heaven; you had seen the beauty and sheer horror of it all. And you knew that the same event was what Castiel was thinking of that exact moment. 

You gasped suddenly and hissed in pain. Your thoughts had clouded your mind, so you weren’t careful with handling one of the kitchen knives. Now a long gash of blood began to form on your palm, making your senses fry as pain and passion began to flow together. It felt good to feel something that was real instead of being plagued by thoughts of the ghost of your past, but you also knew that it would have to be taken care of before Cas saw it. Dropping the knife in the sink, you reached into a cupboard for a clean washcloth when you heard the back door open. 

“___________, is everything okay? I heard you shout.” You heard Castiel say as he made his way towards you. 

You sighed and turned around, applying pressure to the wound and trying to put your best smile on for him. Like usual when it came to keeping things from him, Cas looked through your smile and down at your hand. You watched as his eyes widened and his beautiful face paled.

“Hey, Cas, it’s fine. Just a little scratch.” You tried to promise. You watched Castiel carefully take your hand in his and observed as he unwrapped the cloth from your wound. You grimaced when Cas lightly touched your wound, kissing it with his soft lips. 

“I wish there was a way I could fix this for you.” He sighed, rewrapping your homemade bandage. You smiled. 

“The hospital’s only a few blocks from here if you’d like to walk with me.” You offered, holding his hand gently in your undamaged one. Feeling that it was his obligation to always protect and help you with your every need, Castiel helped you with your coat and walked beside you the next few blocks while holding a red umbrella. 

*****LATER*****

Four stitches. Four stitches were all you needed for your cut. The nurse that stitched you up appraised you for such a clean cut, joking that you were a professional. You smiled thinly at the remark, holding Cas’ hand as you tried to best the pain. 

“We’ll do something nice tonight, okay?” Cas suggested as he began to sign you out. 

“Maybe we should just stay in tonight, Cas. Remember the last time you took me out?” Cas blushed as you brought up your first date together. It was a nice and fancy night that included wine, an angel, and your waiter being a Leviathan. Cas took care of the monster while you spent the rest of the night explaining to the police how your date did not have wings or beheaded a human who could bleed black ooze. 

“I will make sure nothing goes wrong tonight.” Castiel promised as you both started to walk outside. Suddenly, Cas stopped.

“Hey, what is it?”

“It’s raining.” He replied. You raised your eyebrows, and then looked outside. You laughed. 

“You truly are my angel.” Cas smiled and opened the umbrella that he was holding. Holding his arm out for you to take, Castiel held you close as you had your way back to your place. 

*****EVEN LATER*****

“Let’s just order take out.” You said as you cuddled up to your angel-pet a few hours later. Cas grimaced at the thought of Chinese takeout. 

“I don’t know. I’m more into having some hamburgers.” You groaned and hid your face in your angel’s chest as Cas looked at you questioningly. 

“Is there somethg wrong?” You shook your head and kissed the angel on his cheek and watched a blush form. 

“I’ll just make sure the both of us get what we want.” You replied, reaching for your phone on the coffee table. Just as you reached out to grab it, you felt yourself being pulled back to your original spot next to Castiel. You shouted after your stitches hit the edge of the coffee table. Cas quickly apologized and inspected your hand as new blood appeared on your white bandage. 

“I wish I was not in this useless state, then I could heal you and take away your pain.” Cas said sadly, his eyes showed that he was remembering the fall and how the angels – his brothers and sisters – fell as well. Looking at him in pain like this almost made your heart break in half; no matter what happened or what obstacles had been stacked high, it always seemed that Cas would always beat the odds, but you were unsure this time. This time you only knew one thing to do. 

With passion that had always been kept hidden from the light, you reached up and cradled Castiel’s head with your hands and brought your face closer to his until your lips met. Kissing your angel was the greatest thing you felt you had ever done; his lips were soft and sweet, his hands were gentle as they wrapped around your waist and held you close. At first it took Cas a moment to sink into the kiss, but when he did he made sure you felt the love that he had for you, the passion that he had felt since he had first seen you while up in heaven. Careful to not hurt you, Castiel pulled you up into his lap and allowed you to wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. He began deepening the kiss as he held you tight against his body, biting your bottom lip and explored your mouth with his tongue. You smiled against his lips, tugging on his hair slightly to see his reaction. You chuckled after you heard Cas give a low and deep moan his hands tightened on your waist in response. To tease him a bit more you gave in to one last deep kiss that got pretty heated and quickly pulled away, smacking your lips together as your angel’s eyes turned from heavenly delight to complete confusion. 

“Have I done something wrong?” You shook your head and smiled, a few strands of your (h/l) (h/c) hair fell in front of your (e/c) eyes. 

“Now, I was just thinking that hamburgers sound pretty nice.” Castiel grinned ear to ear at his triumph. 

“Great, I’ll get started!” You looked up in surprise as Castiel placed you on the couch as he headed towards the kitchen. 

“Cas, what’re you doing exactly?” You called out after him. 

“Making hamburgers, what do you think?” You started to laugh uncontrollably until Cas came back into the room, tilting his head in that adorable lost puppy way you loved. “What is so funny?” 

“It’s just that…Cas, you can’t even make cereal. How do you think you’re going to make a couple of hamburgers?” Cas began to answer you with his ridiculous and sexy smart talk, but he ended up sitting next to you in defeat. You couldn’t help but smile at his effort. 
“Oh, Cas. You’re such an angel.” You said, playing with his hair lovingly. Then Cas pulled away from your touch and looked at you firmly. 

“Why do you continue to call me an angel, ___________? Is it not plain to see that I no longer have my grace, that I am no longer…?” Castiel sighed and looked down at his hands. 
“Cas,” You said, trying to get him to look at you. “Castiel, look at me, please.” You using his full name had an effect on him. Cas looked up and met your bright (e/c) eyes as his familiar blue ones grew bright too. You sighed. 

“I only meant it as a term of endearment, but it was – is the truth. I would call you a saint, but nobody is perfect; I’d call you a human, but there are too many of those and they all end up boring and cold. I call you an angel because, when I was a child, my grandmother often spoke of how loving, kind, and protective angels were. And you, Cas, are all those things. It doesn’t matter if you’re human now, it didn’t matter to me when you fell. You will always, ALWAYS, be my angel.” 

Cas was silent as he took in your words. He had never known that you had ever felt that way towards him and it made him feel good. Then you watched as Castiel took in a sharp breath, quickly placing his hand on his chest as his eyes looked pained. 
“Cas, what’s wrong?” 

“I-I feel…strange.” He stammered, sitting up as you wrapped your arms around him. 

“Strange how? Strange-demon possession or cold spots or what?” 

“No, it’s this strange feeling in my chest…my heart, to be exact.” You smiled. 

“Is it like a warm, fuzzy feeling in your heart?” Cas nodded, surprised you knew what he was feeling. 

“__________, what is this?” 

“It’s called love, Cas.” 

“What does it mean when I feel it around you?” He asked, bringing a sudden blush on. 

“Well, Cas, I don’t mean to get cheesy, but I guess that means you love me.” You looked down at Cas, waiting for his reaction, and, unlike always, Cas gave you a great, big smile and placed you in his lap, kissing you hard and deep, hoping that there was nothing in the world that would ever get in his way when it came to you. You stayed sitting on the couch for a while, kissing each other and holding each other, loving each other even more every second you spent together. 

“__________, can you teach me how to cook hamburgers?” Cas asked a while later, holding you close as if the entire world depended on it. You smiled. 

“Of course.” You started to get up when Cas pulled you back down and kissed you again, breathing hard. 

“__________, I love you.

“I love you too, Castiel.”

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