It's been three days. Three days since I've spoken to anyone. Three days since I saw my boyfriend. Three days since I've left my room for any reason other than food. Three days since my daughter left, and I haven't seen her since.
I leave my room twice a day. I get breakfast/lunch around ten in the morning, and I get dinner around six. I don't speak to anyone, despite their numerous attempts to start a conversation. I've lost weight I didn't even know I had from only eating two meals everyday. I don't care. I've kept myself alive, no matter how much I wish I didn't have to, and that's all that matters.
I leave my room in the morning, as I have the past two days. I ignore everyone as they try to talk to me, their determination never failing. I grab a muffin, shove it down my throat, and turn to go back to my room in a comfortable solitude.
"Come on, Bailey!" Gabriel whines. "Stay with us! Talk to us! I miss hearing your sarcastic remarks! They're way better than Jensen's!"
I ignore him, as Jensen who punches his shoulder, and walk back down the hallway.
"Don't bother," Gabriel calls after me.
I turn the doorknob, only it won't turn. I twist it a few times, but it's stuck. I turn around to find Gabriel standing behind me, smirking. He takes my arm.
"See? Can't hide now. Let's go." He drags me back to the living room and pushes me on the couch, despite my protests. "Let's talk."
I lie back on the couch and wait for him to leave me alone.
"This isn't talking," he observes.
I roll my eyes.
"Seriously, Bailey, we're worried about you," Crowley tells me. "You can't just not talk to anyone."
Considering that's what I'm doing right now, I stay silent.
"I know you miss Macie," Ruth adds. "We do, too. But what you're doing isn't healthy. You've got to stop hiding in your room. You've got a whole bunch of people here who want to listen if you're willing to talk about it. If not, fine, but talk about something."
I stare up at the ceiling in silence, hoping they'll let me go back to my room soon.
"Dammit, Bailey, just talk to us!" Jensen exclaims.
"Fine," I say, my voice hoarse from crying . "Hi. Can I go back to my room now?"
"No," Gabriel replies. "You're stuck out here until you decide to be social."
"I don't want to! I want to mope in peace!"
"Fine. How about this?" Gabriel proposes. "It's..." He glances at the clock. "It's ten fifteen right now. If at noon you still want to leave, go ahead. Deal?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"Nope!" Gabriel replies cheerfully.
I groan. "Why aren't you making Lucifer come out, too?"
"Because Lucifer hasn't left his room since Macie disappeared, so we can't trap him out here," Gabriel informs me.
I don't blame him, really. If I didn't have to eat to survive, I don't think I would have left my room at all, either. I'm actually sort of jealous right now. Okay, really jealous.
"The fact that you think this is okay really says something about you as a person," Ruth observes.
"Our kid just left!" I remind them. "Next time that happens to you, you can judge us, but until then, you don't know what we're going through, so don't criticize us."
Dammit, now I'm crying again. I bury my head in my hands, trying to be as quiet about it as possible. Unfortunately, I'm an ugly crier, and it's clear that I'm in tears. I feel the couch dip on one side of me, and there's an arm around my shoulders.
"It's okay," a voice assures me softly.
I glance up when I hear the voice, but when I realize it's Mark and not Lucifer, I bury my face in my hands again. I haven't seen Mark since I went into hibernation, and I don't know if it's because he's having trouble staying visible for long or if he's just not around the few times I've left my room.
Something light lands in my lap. I remove my hands and see Jace sitting there. I wipe my hand in my shirt because it's wet from the tears before I softly stroke the kitten. He purrs and rubs against me lovingly. His instinct to cheer me up reminds me of Macie, and I cry harder. I'm a wreck. I'm an actual wreck. I am the definition of Supernatural trash right now.
"Don't cry!" Misha says, running up to me and kneeling in front of me. "No crying. It's not allowed. Smile! Think of rainbows and unicorns and... Okay, clearly not helping. Um... Hey, guys, sing a long time!" Misha starts singing Let it Go, loudly and out of pitch. Jensen laughs and joins in, then Osric, then Jared, then Gabriel, then Ruth, then Rob, then Crowley.
Midsong, Mark begins singing loudly and in an awesome accent to fit the song, "I'm ever upper class in high society. God's gift to ballroom notoriety. And I always fill my ballroom, the event is never small. The social pages say I've got the biggest balls of all."
Suddenly, everyone joins in, laughing as they sing, "I've got big balls, I've got big balls. They're such big balls, and they're dirty big balls. And he's got big balls, and she's got big balls, but we've got the biggest balls of them all!"
Everyone starts laughing, and I can't help but smile. When Misha notices, he cheers loudly, causing the others to join in. I find myself laughing at their excitement. Suddenly, Mark disappears. I look next to me in confusion, wondering where he disappeared to.
"If you're wondering what's going on, he's still here," Gabriel tells me. "He showed up because you were upset, but then you stopped being upset and he stopped being all vengeful spirit like and disappeared, but not too much that the angels can't see him."
"Ah, makes sense," I reply.
"Can we all just take a moment to thank Mark for deciding to sing that song?" Rob says with a grin.
"Hell yeah! Thank you Mark!" Gabriel yells, pumping his fists. He pauses and looks off into space before announcing, "Mark thinks I'm an idiot. Just thought I'd throw that out there."
"He's not alone," Jared replies with a laugh.
Gabriel walks up to him until they're standing only inches apart from each other. "But you love it," Gabriel says, booping Jared on the nose.
Jared chuckles. "Yeah, I do."
"But I know what you love more," Gabriel adds, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Yeah? And what's that?"
Gabriel leans in as if to kiss him, but stops just in front of Jared's face and yells as loud as possible, "Stupid puns!"
Jared laughs, stepping away from Gabriel until they're at a more civilized distance. "It's true; I do. Hey, guys, how much did it cost for the pirate to get his ears pierced?"
Everyone groans at his joke that will doubtlessly be stupid, but he finishes it anyway.
"A buccaneer!"
"Boo! Get off the stage!" Gabriel yells.
"Fine!" Sam yells back. He jumps as high as possible, landing on top of Gabriel as he falls to the ground, taking the shorter boy with him.
Gabriel smirks. "You're on top this time?" he asks teasingly.
Jared attempts to get off of him, but Gabriel grabs his torso and pulls him back down into a kiss.
"Cas, get out here!" Jensen yells. "Cutest couple competition, now!"
A shift in posture indicates that Castiel has taken over for Misha. Castiel tilts his head in confusion as he looks at Dean. "What are we doing?"
"We're being more adorable than Sabriel," Dean tells him.
"I don't unde-"
Dean pulls him close and kisses him. Castiel makes a noise of protest at being yanked by the shirt, but when his lips meet Dean's, he kisses back immediately. I find myself giggling like the little fangirl I am. I ship these so much. I feel like Charlie in every Supernatural AU ever.
"Destiel is trying to out cute the cutest couple," Gabriel observes when he and Sam stop kissing. They both sit up and watch the two, amused. "Good luck with that."
"We are the cutest couple!" Dean protests, no longer kissing Castiel but keeping his arm around the angel's shoulders.
"I vote Sabriel!" I announce.
"I vote Destiel!" Osric says.
"Sabriel!" Ruth announces.
"Destiel, I guess," Mark decides.
"Gotta go with Sabriel on this one," Rob says.
"I choose Destiel," a voice says from the doorway. My head immediately turns to look at them, knowing the voice too well. Surprisingly, it's not who I last heard the voice from. I can tell immediately by the lack of wings.
"Matt Cohen?" I guess before Jared and Jensen decide to charge at him because they can't see his wings.
He nods. "That I am."
"What are you doing here?" Jared asks, not sounding upset but not happy, either.
"I managed to convince Michael to let me come here and apologize while he was in Heaven. Well, actually, he doesn't know I'm here. Or that I'm apologizing. But technicalities, right? He looks around. "Where's Lucifer?"
"Hibernating for, like, ever," Osric replies.
"Why?"
"Because your angel made his kid run away," Crowley reminds him.
Matt frowns. "I really am sorry about that. I tried to tell Michael to stop, but he's an expert at ignoring people."
"It's okay," I tell him, knowing that I make this decision in Lucifer's absence. "You didn't do it yourself. It's not your problem, don't worry about it."
"I wish it was that simple, but thanks anyway," he says. "So, back to the conversation I so rudely interrupted, who's winning, Sabriel or Destiel?"
"They're tied," Ruth tells him. "Three each, not counting the couple themselves."
"How about Mark?" Matt asks. "I saw him here a few days ago. Did he vote?"
Gabriel looks around before saying, "Mark seems to have disappeared."
"Where would he have gone?" Matt asks.
Gabriel shrugs. "Wherever ghosts go in bunkers, I guess."
"Then who's the cutest couple?" Jensen asks. "Because I think it's us."
"Unfortunately, we don't have a tie breaker," I tell them.
"Lucifer can break the tie!" Gabriel announces.
"I don't think Lucifer wants to break the tie," I tell him.
"I don't care what he wants," Gabriel replies. "He's got to come out sometime. You should go tell him to come visit us."
"He's not going to," I tell him. "Trust me, he's not."
"I don't know. He'd do just about anything for you."
"It's true," Jared agrees.
"Gotta agree with Sabriel here," Jensen adds.
"I, too, believe Gabriel is correct," Castiel says.
"From what little I've seen, I've got to agree, too," Matt says.
"I thin-" Osric begins, but I cut him off.
"Fine! I'll go check in Lucifer. Calm your face."
"Bless your face. If you sneezed during this conversation, bless you," Gabriel says.
I facepalm at his Tobuscus reference and walk away, attempting to find Lucifer's room. He doesn't really have a room, but I know he's not in mine, and Mark's would be the only other one he may think of as his own. I find my way to Mark's room, where I've only been once. I'm about to knock on the door when I hear him speaking.
(A/N Spoiler: it's Mark. The "..." will signify Mark speaking because Bailey can't hear him.)
"Go away," Lucifer says. After a short pause, he says, "I mean it. Leave me alone, Mark... No, I don't have to talk to anybody... No, I don't want to talk to anybody, either... Seriously, Mark, go away. I want to be alone... And three days isn't long enough... I know I only knew her for a week, but I fell in love with her too quick, so it's like I knew her for a lifetime... No, I fell in love with Macie when I first saw her. I fell for Bailey after I had an actual conversation with her. Technically, I fell in love with Macie quicker than I did with Bailey... Close enough only works with horseshoes and hand grenades... Well, I'm a cliché too... Okay, well, this has been a fun chat, only not really, but please leave... Which is really annoying because the one plus side to you dying was that I didn't have to deal with you annoying the crap out of me all the time. Now, you can bug me whenever, but I can't bug you because you can just disappear... Well, I don't know how being a ghost works. I may have been to Hell, but I've never died... That was my goal. I was hoping if I brought up depressing subjects, you'd leave. Is it working?... Well, I tried... Okay, I'm just going to ignore you now. Thanks for stopping by, only not really. See ya later... I'm just going to ignore you until you go away... You're going to be here for a while..."
Sure enough, it's silent for a minute or so. I don't know if Mark is still talking and I can't hear, but Lucifer doesn't respond. Finally, I knock on the door. I don't get a response, so I knock louder. When he doesn't respond the third time, I realize knocking isn't my best course of action.
"Lucifer?" I call out quietly.
It's silent for a moment, and right when I think he's decided to ignore me, I hear him sigh. The lock clicks and his door opens. I step inside slowly to see Lucifer lying on his back in bed. He barely glances at me as I come in.
"Hey," I greet him awkwardly.
"Hi."
"Can we talk?"
"Mark says Destiel, I say Sabriel," Lucifer answers automatically. "You weren't being very quiet about it. Is that all?"
I frown. "No. I didn't just come here for the stupid vote. I want to talk to you."
Lucifer sighs and sits up in his bed, leaning against the headboard with his knees by his chest. "Fine. Feel free to sit."
I sit down cross legged in front of him in his bed. "How are you?"
"Crappy."
"I should have seen that coming," I reply.
"You really should have," he agrees. "Seriously, Bailey, what are you here for?"
I can't help but feel a bit hurt by his tone of voice.
"I'm here because I promised Gabriel I'd try to be social for two hours, and I need someone to be social with, and I immediately thought of you."
"Go talk to Misha or something."
I frown. "But Destiel is being adorable and I don't want to break them up."
Lucifer rolls his eyes. "Fine. Go talk to Osric and Matt."
He knows Matt is here? Damn, I guess we were being loud.
"But I want to talk to you!" I protest.
"Well, I want to be alone, so get out of my room," Lucifer replies.
So I sort of snap at him, but to be fair, I've been having a crappy couple days and he's not helping.
"Look, I get that you're upset about what happened to Macie. I am, too. That doesn't mean you've got to push me and everyone else away, too."
Lucifer's eyes glow red, something I haven't seen before from him. In a much louder and more intimidating tone, he yells, "I said go away!"
"Fine," I huff before storming out of his room. I hear the door slam behind me; Lucifer's doing, I'm sure. I walk over to my own room, but Gabriel still has it on lockdown. I slam it with my foot, but when it doesn't budge, I return to the living room to find everyone watching nervously.
"I take it that wasn't the happy reunion we were hoping for?" Gabriel guesses.
"Shut up," I snap.
Suddenly, Mark appears in front of us. Judging by Gabriel's slightly startled expression, he couldn't be seen by anyone here. He looks at me and says, "Alright, we've got to talk."
"No."
"Let me rephrase that. Come with me or I'll ghost whip your ass."
I sigh and follow him down a hallway until we're alone. I lean against the wall with my arms crossed, annoyed by life in general. Mark starts speaking first.
"I heard your blow out with Lucifer," he tells me.
"Good for you," I reply sarcastically.
"I'm trying to help you, so cut the sass," Mark says. I roll my eyes but remain silent. "I know you think that this is just Lucifer upset about what happened to Macie, but it's more than that. I've been inside his head before. I know how he works. He's not just snapping at you because of Macie. Well, he sort of is, but it's not going to get better with time. There's a reason he hasn't come out in days, and it's not because he's mourning. It's because he's feeling the loss of Macie, the kid he knew for a week. Now, take that and think about how he'd feel if he lost someone he knew for years. He's trying to push you away so that he doesn't become too attached to you, and he won't have to worry about losing you. Unfortunately, it's too late and he already loves you, obviously, but that's not going to stop him from trying anyway."
"That's so stupid, I don't even know where to begin," I say.
Mark shrugs. "Well, that's Lucifer for you. Now, if you value your relationship at all, you'll go and try to get him to change his mind. Got it?"
I nod once. "Fine. But when this messes us up even more, I'd like to say my 'I told you so' now."
With that, I walk away, and back to the dreaded place known as Lucifer's room.