Imagine being mad at Cas for staying behind in Purgatory.

Word Count: 748

~

You never thought that they would come back. Heaven knows that you tried to get them back from Purgatory. You even tried to barter your soul but Crowley ordered his demons not to make a deal with you. 

Sam gave up. Heck, he didn't even try.

And now, Dean's back. He just came back somehow, and you were ecstatic to see him again after a year. 

But he came back alone.

Cas wasn't wasn't with him.

You begged Dean to tell you what happened to Cas, but he wouldn't tell you. You begged and pleaded, and he finally caved.

He said that Cas didn't make it through the portal like he and Benny did. He said that he couldn't get Cas out, and that it was all his fault.

Naturally, you believed him. And, you blamed him.

How could Dean just leave Cas back there?! The angel that you love with all of your heart, the one who helped save the world. Your angel... Gone.

Lost in Purgatory, all because Dean couldn't save him. 

~

'Cas is back.'

The words on your phone screen are enough to knock you off your feet. How can he be back? It's not possible. You instantly pull over next to a mile marker to examine the text.

Heartbeat pounding against your chest, you text back. 'What?'

'He's back and wants to know where you are.' Is Sam's reply. 

Sam wouldn't joke about this, he wouldn't dare. 

Shakily, you text him the mile marker that you're parked beside, knowing that either this is a horrible prank or the real deal.

Holding your breath, you wait. 

A familiar sound brings tears to your eyes, as you hear the whoosh of Castiel's wings as he appears in the passenger seat. 

Reeling from a mixture of overwhelming shock and bittersweet happiness, you propel yourself out of the vehicle. 

He appears behind you and says quietly, "Y/n..."

"Cas. How-?" You ask, turning to face your angel after all this time. 

"I don't know."

Tears stream down your face as you take in his ragged stubble on his face and the emotion in his eyes. Without another sound, he takes you in his strong arms and holds you. Crying, you clutch his trench coat desperately, afraid that this is all a dream. 

"I tried, I tried so hard, Cas." You blubber as he strokes your hair and back comfortingly.

"I know, Y/n. I know."

You embrace him tightly, not caring about anything else in this moment. Finally, you got your angel back. 

~

Cas has been back for weeks, but you still haven't forgiven Dean for leaving him behind. Castiel has seemed to notice how you've been avoiding Dean.

"Y/n, why aren't you speaking to Dean?" He asks you after Dean leaves to get supplies.

You sigh, not wanting to explain. "It's just... He left you back there, Cas!"

He seems shocked, "Y/n, you don't think this is his fault, do you?"

"It was, Cas. He admitted it himself." 

He shakes his head, "No, Y/n. I chose to stay, to pay for all I did."

"What?" You question, not believing what you're hearing. 

He frowns and sighs, "Let me show you." He reaches his hand out and touches your face.

~

Dean and Castiel run frantically to the portal. Leviathan are close behind. Dean reaches the portal but looks back to Cas. 

"Cas! C'mon!" He yells at the angel. 

Cas could make it through if he wanted, but he stops. Dean reaches out desperately to him, but Castiel stays put. The blue light of the portal illuminates the scene.

He takes Dean's hand and shoves it away, "GO!"

Dean yells out as he falls through the portal, leaving Cas behind.

~

After witnessing that atrocious act, you step away from Castiel, the angel that you love. Tears well in your eyes, threatening to spill.

"Cas, how could you do that?" You ask simply.

He looks you dead in the eyes, "I needed to stay to make up for all the wrong I did."

"That's ridiculous! You're telling me that you stayed in Purgatory willingly for some self-righteous reason?!" 

"I wouldn't expect you to understand." He says, turning away from you. 

Clenching your teeth in anger, you glare at him. "You're right, I don't understand why you wouldn't want to come back... I tried everything to get you to come back, Cas, and now I find out that you never wanted to be saved." 

You exhale in defeat, "I need some time to think. Goodbye Cas."

Leaving, you cry silently and feel the tears drip down your face slowly.