Ryu: Bacon Pancakes, Makin Bacon Pancakes!
Take some Bacon and I'll put it in a Pancake!
Bacon Pancakes, that's what it's gonna make!
BACON PANCAAAKE!! HIT IT SHADOW CLONE!!

A shadow clone of Ryu started playing a red piano. He was singing to himself while making breakfast. This was one of the many ways he stopped himself from getting bored while cooking. Azure and Erica were playing Super Smash Bros. Ryu flipped nine Bacon Pancakes onto a plate.

Ryu: Breakfast is served.

He grabbed a random can of Mountain Dew sipping it.

Erica: Ryu, you do know how many grams of sugar are in that right?

Ryu: You know damn well that I couldn't care less.

Erica: Fair enough.

Ryu took another sip before his ear caught something making him spit out the drink.

Azure: Super hearing make you overhear something?

Ryu: OH HELL NO!!!

In a sonic boom Ryu blasted over to Issei's house jumping and sticking his head into the window revealing a completely nude Rias over Issei.

Ryu: SHITSEI, CHERRY HEAD, IT IS WAY TO EARLY IN THE GOD DAMN MORNING FOR THIS!!! YOU WANNA BLOW EACH OTHERS BRAINS OUT DO IT WHEN I CAN'T HEAR IT!!!!!

Issei: GAH!!! RYU?!!!!

Rias: How did you hear us?! You weren't even in the house!!!

Ryu: I HAVE FUCKING SUPER HEARING FOR YOUR DAMN INFORMATION!!!!

Asia: Issei? Rias? We have to get ready for school, and is that Ryu's voice?

The doorknob turned before Issei and Ryu sped to the door holding it shut.

Issei: NO WAIT ASIA DON'T COME IN YET!!!

Ryu wrote down the words "PUT SOME FUCKING CLOTHES ON YOU RED HEADED BIMBO!!!!" Rias read them and even with our sound she heard the screaming and the venom laced with those words.

Azure: Shonen, Ryu has super hearing cause of Shojo right?

Shonen: Uh huh. I could give it to you but you'd get a migraine.

TIME SKIP!!

Ryu Azure Erica and Akeno where in class with Ryu struggling to not glare daggers at Salem. This was one of the few instances Ryu decided to go to school on a Monday. Why may you ask?

Because Monday's are evil incarnate.

Ryu: 'I really do hate myself sometimes.'

Akeno passed a note as Ryu quickly snatched it to not let Salem realize as she was teaching English.

Ryu: 'Akeno: Ryu, is Salem seriously that dangerous?'

Ryu deadpanned before speed writing a note flicking it to Akeno's desk.

Akeno: 'Ryu: Nariko, if I say someone's dangerous, then they'd have to be powerful enough to leave a scar on the planet visible from space, and or, be able to destroy it.'

Akeno slightly shivered hearing this. Right then the note burst into flames as Salem turned her head. She seemed only slightly suspicious but knew she had no evidence. Ryu sighed before focusing on his work. After hours class had finished as Ryu opened an eye. He saw Akeno trying to hug tackle him yet again as he dodged the attempt by moving to the window. Akeno was about to jump at him again but realized where he was.

Akeno: ... You wouldn't.

Ryu: Try me bitch.

Akeno remembering his job was to destroy in the world didn't take the risk. They walked out of the class as Akeno told them something. When he heard the words come out of Akeno's mouth Ryu realized he possibly could've been going into a lions den.

Ryu: ... Shitsei's house?

Akeno: Yea, the club is getting cleaned so it's the only option. BUUUT if you want to offer your-

Ryu: Finish that sentence, and Imma break yo legs.

Akeno stopped herself from speaking.

Coco: It's actually not that bad.

They all turned around to see Coco.

Azure: How long were you standing there?

Coco: A minute give or take. Anyway I've been there to help Asia move in and it's actually really clean. His parents are nice too.

Ryu: ... If this is a lie you die, you know that?

Coco: Naaah, you love me.

Ryu: I have killed closer people to me for far less.

Erica: He's not wrong.

TIME SKIP!!

Ryu: Ok, so it wasn't a lie.

Rias: Anyway let's begin our regular meeting. This months contracts are in. Akeno 11.

Akeno's: That's right.

Rias: Koneko 10.

Koneko: Sounds good.

Rias: Kiba had eight.

Kiba: I did.

Rias: Three for Asia.

Asia: Yay!

Kiba: Now way, that's impressive Asia!

Akeno: Good for you lady! You should be proud of yourself.

Koneko: Especially since your brand new to contracts.

Asia: Oh my goodness, thank you so much!

Issei: And Issei.

She took a sip of her tea as the DemiGods felt a complete 180 coming.

Rias: ... 7.

Ryu: There we go.

Kiba: Ah sick!

Coco: Way to level up Perv.

Akeno: Look at you doing your thing!

Asia: That's amazing Issei!!

Koneko: Even though you're a perv, good job.

Issei: Haha! Thanks guys!

Rias: Ryu, I'm curious, did you teach Issei anything that would help with contracting?

Ryu: No... Azure did.

Azure: Leave me out of this.

Ryu: Ok fine it was me. But if he was gonna use it, than I was gonna expect more like 14 dumb ass!

Issei: I have limits you know!

Kiba: What exactly did you learn

Issei: Oh man it's awesome! Check it out!

Issei seemed to close his eyes and focus before he split into 4. Rias spat out her tea in surprise before Ryu screamed.

Erica: You taught him the Multiform?!!

Coco: Wait why are you screaming?

Ryu: BECAUSE FOUR SHITSEI'S AT ONCE IS TOO MUCH TO HANDLE!!!

Issei: HEY!!!

???: What with all the yelling kids?

They all heard someone coming in was Ryu knew that Issei's wouldn't have been able to get rid of the Multiform Clones. Thinking fast he punched the clones so hard that they were reduced to nothing.

All: O_O

Issei's mother came in with cookies.

Asia: Oh, welcome to the meeting mother!

Mrs Hyoudou: Thank you! Now this little meeting is for the Insult Research Club right?

Issei: She's always so close yet so very-

Ryu: GENIUS!!!

Coco: Here he goes.

Ryu: AS THE PRESIDENT OF THE MYSTIC SEARCH CLUB/WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS AT DAY I HERE BY DECLARE THAT THE NAME OF THE CLUB PERMANENTLY BECOMES THE INSULT RESEARCH CLUB WITH THE ACTIVITIES BEING SUCH!!!

Everyone in the room minus Rias laughed.

Rias: How did you forget the name?!! We even have abbreviations!! AND FOR THE LAST TIME I'M THE-

Ryu: Great!! All in agreement say I!!!

Coco: I.

Akeno: *Giggle* I.

Koneko: I.

Kiba: I.

Azure: I.

Asia: I.

Erica: I.

Issei: *Sigh* I.

They burst out in laughing again as Rias literally having steam coming from her head.

Rias: You are the worst!!!

Mrs Hyoudou: Ahh I see we have the resident comedian here! Now I brought some photos for inspiration.

Issei saw the cover immediately knowing what it was.

Issei: MOM!!!

Mrs Hyoudou: So who wants to see Issei when he was just a little boy?

Ryu: Sorry Ma'am -Not in the slightest- but I have no interest in seeing this guys 1cm little him when it already must be short now.

Issei: SHUT UP!!

Erica: Yeah, and I'm loyal to this stoic guy here.

Azure: Love you too babe.

They and Kiba went and looked at pictures of Issei that weren't naked and thanks to Ryu's incredible 6th sense they avoided them.

Issei: Just kill me now...

Kiba: She seems like a great mother to me.

Issei: LIKE YOU'D KNOW!!

Kiba: They must be nice to have a family...

Ryu had a few flashbacks and sighed.

Ryu: Word of advice kid, don't ever take what you have for granted. One day, it might just be gone.

Issei looked at Ryu seeing that he looked up to the ceiling.

Ryu: 'Where the hell are you?'

Kiba: ... Hey, Issei. This picture.

Kiba was looking at a picture of Issei and someone else with a sword behind them. When seeing the picture Ryu rose an eyebrow.

Issei: Oh, that kid lived down the street from me. We used to play together all the time. They had to move once one of his parents got a job over seas-

Azure: Uhhh, dude, the he's a she.

Issei: HUH?!!

Erica: Actually he's right. It's pretty hard to tell the difference though. For most people anyway.

Issei: Oh come on I actually knew the kid! He definitely didn't act like a girl!

Ryu: Yeah but I can spot a trap from a mile away. Or in this case a reverse one. That's definitely a she.

Issei: ... DA FUCK?!!

Kiba: One more thing, do you remember this sword?

Issei: Nah I mean, you know, I was five.

Kiba: I guess anything's possible huh?

TIME SKIP!!

Ryu was walking through Kuoh trying to find someplace to eat.

Ryu: Let's see, Wendy's, McDonald's, Chick Fil A. Are there any NON fast food restaurants around here?

He looked to the side before seeing a large tavern.

Ryu: ... Nah I don't feel like dealing with the smell of booze.

He was about to walk away but felt something drawing him there.

Ryu: ... I am gonna regret this decision.

Shojo: Oh it couldn't be that bad.

He walked into the club seeing that it was quiet and there weren't many people.

Ryu: Ok, that's at least one good sign.

He went to a table tapping his finger's on the table. Soon a waitress came up to him placing a glass of whiskey.

Ryu: I didn't order this.

Waitress: On the house. A woman's waiting for you on the top floor.

Ryu: 'This feels exactly like the Raven situation Qrow and I were in.'

He sighed before appearing on the top floor looking for someone who didn't seem entirely irrelevant to him. That's when he saw a woman that was drop dead gorgeous to most men. To him however she was only a 6.

Ryu: So, I'm guessing you're the one?

???: Ara-Ara, I see that the most powerful DemiGod of Calamity has sharp intuition.

Ryu: Ughh a flirt great. Listen, just explain who you are to me.

???: Wow, not even a reaction? Stone cold. Very well, I wanted you here so I should give you my name. I am Aphrodite.

APHRODITE!!

Ryu: ... Did you just say-

Aphrodite: I am the Goddess of Beauty, Love, desire, passion, pleasure, and fertility-

Ryu had heard enough as he chugged the alcohol in his glass before turning around going down the stairs.

Aphrodite: Meanie!! You didn't even let me finish!

Ryu: Do I look like I give a flying fuck? When I heard your name the only thing I could hear after that was "LET ME RAPE YOU!!!"

Ryu Troll Count: 22

Aphrodite: I didn't call you here for a manner like that!!! And I have standards damnit!!

Ryu: One of the things you're the Greek God of is LUST. I'm not doing this shit tonight.

Aphrodite: This is important you insufferable wildcard!!

Ryu: UGHHH, fine.

He sat down annoyed.

Ryu: But just know even if you're a God I have plenty of ways to kill you myself if this is a waste of time.

Aphrodite: Hm, fair enough. I called you hear to discuss a mater of the church.

Ryu: Bitch do I look like I'm catholic or have any faith in their God?

Aphrodite: No, but your Devil friends could be caught in a large crossfire.

Ryu: You know friends might not be the exact word to describe my relationship with those guys yet. Them being pretty much my property, probably.

Aphrodite: Well, it involves a weapon known as the Holy Sword Excalibur.

Ryu: Excalibur?

Aphrodite: It's the most powerful sword in the entire cosmos. Not counting your vast weapons.

Shojo: Interesting.

Aphrodite: I know.

Ryu: Oh great another person who can hear the wolf inside my head.

Aphrodite: Anyway, that sword was split into multiple and years ago there was a project in the church as kids were tested on to see if they could wield the power of those swords.

Ryu: Ok, but why does that involve me or them?

Aphrodite: Because the Knight of Rias Gremory was the only survivor of the project.

Ryu: Goldilocks? No wonder he freaked out seeing that picture.

Aphrodite: I came to tell you that those swords may arise again. Just a warning, but I know you don't really need it that much.

Ryu: Great so a bunch of swords from Kiba's past, which I could probably destroy by just coughing.

Aphrodite: And two users are arriving in Kuoh Tomorrow.

Ryu: Hm.

Aphrodite: That's all. Also, I wanted to see one of the new DemiGods in the Multiverse, and I'll have to say I'm impressed. I don't see why they just put you as a God now.

Ryu: Yeah yeah work the shaft. Well if that's all you want to tell me today I think Imma bounce.

Aphrodite: Well I could tell you more, but~ there's something you'd have to do for me.

Ryu: That is?

Aphrodite: Well, how about you spend the night with-

When she blinked she saw that Ryu vanished.

Aphrodite: Mmm, I love a challenge.

CHAPTER END!!