future.

"Have you ever fallen in love, Mana?"

"Yes," she says, breathless. "It was the best and worst thing ever."

now.

FLOWERS HAVE A MULTITUDE OF MEANINGS.

And Mana brings three bouquets to the graves. Of her family. Of the ones she loved so much than herself. Of the ones that left too early.

Forget-me-nots;
- Memories.

Petunias;
- Your presence soothes me.

Roses;
- Gratitude.

"Thank you for everything!" she bows, and some locks of her hair falls over her shoulder. "I will continue to love you."

* * *

Being back in Miyagi has its difficulties. Sure, Mana just intended to visit her parents' and Etsuko's graves, but after overhearing a conversation between two girls from Karasuno (a ravenette and a blonde, respectively) about the upcoming battle between Aoba Johsai and Karasuno, her legs moved on their own.

It wasn't like the trains would disappear. And she preferred this warm summer day. The Sendai Gymnasium smells like salonpas, a scent Mana is still undecided about and soon as she enters the gymnasium, a wave of tension crawls up her skin.

Standing on opposite sides of the net: Seijoh and Karasuno.

"Mana!" a familiar voice calls and it's only been two months give or take but she misses this person.

"Rie," she greets with a smile, calm and collected as ever. She doesn't let the emotions overflow, but the girl does, giving her a tight embrace.

"How have you been?" Rie shrieks, eyebrows furrowed. "You just disappeared like poof! And your skin, it's glowing!"

"I needed some time alone," Mana replies truthfully. "And rest. I'm okay now, though."

Rie narrows her eyes and Mana feels all self conscious with her long sleeved white cashmere top and knee length black plaid skirt. "Are you really?" she asks and the concern from the girl is a bit overwhelming. Mana feels the pang of guilt on her chest. This beautiful, wonderful girl had been collateral damage to her endless self hate and toxicity.

"I am," Mana says and chuckles.

The lines on the girl's forehead relaxes and her eyes flicker to that of their usual emotion. "I guess you look better than norm. It's like a huge burden was lifted off your back."

Mana knows that she's been better, but she didn't realize that the burden she has been carrying for all those years were imminent. "Did I look like Atlas?"

( Atlas, Atlas,

how is the world on your back? )

"I guess no one could compare to a mythological entity carrying the world on his back, but you were a fierce competitor Mana," Rie says, shaking her head. "So when are you going back?"

( P a i n f u l . )

Mana freezes. "I thought-"

"Oikawa did tell me a couple of things about your sudden"- she draws quotation marks in the air-"disappearance, but he was vague on the details. Just that we wouldn't see you for a long period of time."

Mana can't say anything but, "Oh..."

But there's a sense of relief that permeates from her chest when Oikawa's name doesn't carry the same effect as it used to. Moving on is strange. It felt like yesterday when thousands of swords would pierce her chest at the mention of his name, but now, it seemed to feel like a feather passing by, its soft edges skimming on the surface of her skin.

"I think two months has been a 'long period of time' so let's go back?" Rie asks with a determined smile on her face and she hates to prick this bubble of jubilee, this overwhelming ebullience, but Mana, Mana is done living facades and giving false smiles.

Better terrible truths than kind lies.

The truth can be ugly, it can be revolting and cruel. But for some people, the truth can set free. Remove shackles and rapture chains that inhibit your growth, that hinder you from finding that happiness every one deserves.

"I'm not going back, Rie," Mana says and the lightheartedness in the visage of the shorter girl vanishes. There are no words that pass between them and despite the cheering of the crowds and the ruckus on the court, it was as if they were enveloped in a bubble of quiet.

"Is it because of Mayu and Oikawa?" Rie asks and there's a sudden curtain of confusion that covers Mana's face. "Is it because they're dating?"

"I-" Mana is taken aback by this sudden development and her lips tremble. She feels like an infant, a child learning her first alphabet and it is with great difficulty she enunciates words. "I-I didn't know that."

That must have been why Rie and Oikawa, powerful people from different sides of the world of Aoba Johsai was talking to each other. How selfish of Mana to think that they were talking because of her. Just a fragile girl that's been shattered too many times-

Mana shakes her head. She's over this now. There are times when those brief flits of insecurity envelop her but feelings don't control you, Mana has learned that. She's better than this broken, insecure thing.

Better.

She isn't an ugly, broken coward anymore. She is like the flower efflorescing after a harsh winter. Beautiful, strong, enduring.

Horrified, Rie takes a step back. She cups both her cheeks and her eyes have widened to the size of plates. "Oh my," she begins. "Mana, I apologize. I wasn't aware you didn't know. It must be hard for you to hear this-"

"It's okay," Mana says, although she really is surprised at how swift this development is. She doesn't blame Rie; it isn't like the girl wanted to be the harbinger of bad news. She would have known even when everyone tried to be furtive about this fact. "I'm over us."

She's not an ingenue for goodness sake.

Mayuri and Oikawa.

Mayuri and Oikawa.

She hopes they're happy.

( Maybe she was the villain all along. )

That crease on Rie's forehead surfaces again and she has to pat the girl on the back to make her relax. Mana is actually surprised by this insouciance she's displaying. "It's really okay, Rie."

"Will you still sit with us?" Rie asks, eyes wistful. She doesn't want to break this beautiful girl, but Mana is a hurricane now. She's no longer the passing zephyr everyone ignored or adored. She's a hurricane. Destruction is in her blood and veins. She won't pass through this path of eggshells anymore. She'll take the concrete and own the world.

She won't let anyone hinder her from the future she deserves.

"Sorry," she says. "I'm cheering for Karasuno."

* * *

Mana watches the passion, months and years of hard work, strength as he sets, serves and spikes. And she can't fathom how she can be ever angry with this person. With Oikawa Tooru, a boy born of celestial beauty.

They are cut from the same cloth; broken boy and fractured girl. The monster and the victim, and no one had the power to dictate who was to blame. Silently, she cheers for him.

Oddly, it's the orange haired boy named Hinata who attracts her attention. The boy is like the sun, bright, unnerving but warm.

Every spike, every receive, every successful/failed serve. She's reminded of the beauty of volleyball all over again. It's no wonder even the King of the Court serves this mortal.

Every toss, every serve, every receive. Kageyama Tobio was both ruler and subject. He held the ball with some sort of delicate action as one would hold a lover but he would toss it like a weapon meant to raze empires to the ground.

Every serve, every toss, every spike. Oikawa Tooru was blindingly brilliant. A powerful server, a charismatic setter. He could easily dominate the court if he wanted to. And he did, serving those volleyballs that pummeled his enemies to the ground.

The match was stretching, long, longer, longest. Mana wouldn't exactly be surprised if they were feeling the lassitude creeping up their bones. She was just watching and yet, she perspired from the intensity.

They were giving it their all, from the first set and even in the second set.

This wasn't a harmony of cogs, this was a battle between two armies fighting for dominion over the other. And the prize, the medals and the bragging rights was nothing compared to the satisfaction- the satisfaction after endless sleeps stolen and fatigue and muscles aching.

Fighting and pain because love for volleyball was worth it. The desire to win, the strength and the experience. All melding into one. That was every sport. Everyone wanted to win, but the truth was as bitter as the dark coffee drank to ease the sleepless nights and never-ending scheming. It was harsh unlike the wonderland of promises and aspirations one sets out with.

Only one team could be the winner.

Deafening, rhythmic cries spread throughout the gymnasium, reverberates from the stone and steel structure of the gymnasium. Dancing glimmers of sunbeam pass through the barred, stained windows. Karasuno and Seijoh.

Black and orange.

White and blue.

The first set ended with Karasuno winning.

The second was claimed by Aoba Johsai.

And the third, the third set was on its peak. Cheering for the teams continued to heat up, the respective supporters clutching their talismans to their chests, the murmuring of the predictions.

Fly.

Rule the court.

Fly.

Rule the court.

Fly.

Rule the court.

Fly.

Rule the court.

Fly.

Rule the court.

Fly.

The crows, feathers as black as midnight, spreads its wings and-

"Fly."

Oikawa moves to catch it, but it's too late. The ball scrapes against his skin, but the ball plummets unto its destined path.

The path that will set the once flightless crows to their victory.

Karasuno High School
w i n s.

Utter silence envelops everything. Eyes widened, chapped lips and hands move on their own to clap. Karasuno wins. Karasuno wins. The sweet scent of victory like honeysuckles and saccharine delights.

But there was always another side to a story. The victors had their stories told, through endless practices, rifts and support, they won.

But for those who lost-

The players of Aoba Johsai face their crowd and she must have mistaken it but Oikawa's eyes catch her for a second. She just shakes her head and Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama waves at her with a brilliant smile (it was for Mana, but judging from the shocked faces of a tall blond and Hinata Shoyo, it really wasn't).

She waves back and when she turns back to watch Seijoh, they're gone.

Mana falls, literally falls to her seat and she unclenches her fist. That was intense. A smile spreads on her lips and the placid image on her visage has vanished.

Damn.

"Mana!"

She looks at the petite girl running towards her, signature amber pigtails and two white clips adorning her hair.

"Rie..." she says and pats the empty seat next to her. "What do you want to talk about?"

Rie shakes her head. "I just missed you," she says and there are tears flowing from her eyes. Mana knows this girl is as hard as steel so seeing her like this makes her flummoxed.

"I'm upset that we lost the match," Rie says as if to explain the downpour of tears. The dulcet in her voice is gone and Mana rests a hand on top of her hair and brushes to her nape and trembling back. "I'm upset for those guys. They worked so hard. That was the fruit of their labor... why did they lose?"

Her eyes meet Mana.

"Not everyone can win," Mana says softly. "That's volleyball. That's sport. Bad things happen and we learn to live and defy those. We still have something to look forward to, okay?"

"Mana!" and the girl pulls her into an embrace. Her amber hair is a mess. "Please don't forget me in your new school!"

"I won't forget you," Mana says. "Heck, maybe we can go to the same universities."

Rie nods.

* * *

Mana's legs move on their own after Rie departs and she sees Ushijima and Oikawa sharing an intense moment, all threats and predictions and when the hall is empty and it's only the boy with chestnut hair and eyes that remains, Mana takes a deep deep breath.

"Tooru!"

Surprise and recognition.
- Oikawa Tooru.

Recognition and surprise.
- Akatsuki Mana.

"You're crying..." she says softly and she wants to wipe the tears off his face. Not because she's still utterly and hopelessly in love with him, but because he was - and still is - the person who held her hand through that tunnel of darkness.

"Mana..." he says and she's relieved that there's nothing sharp or detrimental in his voice. It's still warm like the caress of summer sunshine and spring breeze.

"Thank you for everything, Tooru," she says with a smile and he smiles back at her. "Thank you so much!"

He wipes the tears off his face. "Thank you too, Mana," he says. "For being with me through all those dark times."

"I still can't believe I lost volleyball and you. It's difficult to fathom, because there's still a million-"

She kisses him on his forehead, on her tiptoes and Oikawa is taken aback.

I've gathered my own courage and took flight. And because your wings are damp and you're struggling to fly, I'll nurse your broken wings and help you take flight.

"This is farewell, Tooru," she says. "But you never lost anything. I'm still your friend and remember this, volleyball will always be with you!"

* * *

e n d.
-
[ Supermarket Flowers ]

'sometimes, it's just better to let go.'