before.

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

— but i wanted you anyway.

RAIN SOAKS HER FAVORITE TENNIS SHOES, DAMPS HER TOENAILS AND THE CREVICES BETWEEN THEM. It's a clammy sensation that disgusts her, but she can't leave yet. Fourteen year old Akatsuki Mana is waiting, the patient patient friend who doesn't move an inch because she promised Iwaizumi Hajime.

"You shouldn't have waited," it's Iwaizumi, chastising her as if she's a kid. "You're going to get sick at this rate."

Mana shakes her head. "It's okay," is the only thing she utters.

"It's not," Iwaizumi snaps and despite the ferocity in his voice, the way he grabs her elbow is everything gentle. "Come on, take my umbrella."

"But you're going to get sick," she says, voice firm. "And I'm not some fragile creature you need to take care of. If I can get sick, then so can you."

"I'm strong and you are too, but you've been staying under the rain for God knows how long so you need this."

Eyebrows furrowed and lips parted to voice her protest. "But—" her protest is cut off by a loud, chirpy voice.

"Eh~! Iwa-chan's going home with a girl," it's a boy with brown hair. He's tall, Mana notes, taller than Iwaizumi, eyes the most beautiful shade of brown and his hair is spiking in weird ways but it's adorable. It's like he just rolled out of bed. "I should have figured you what you were up to the moment you rejected my offer to walk with you to your house!"

Mana's eyes narrow. She can't believe the stupidity of this boy. She knows him, of course. He's very popular and he's been friends with Iwaizumi longer than Mana has.

Oikawa Tooru.

He's not the most attractive, but his looks are passable. He looks more decent than the average number of boys in Kitagawa Daichi, even Iwaizumi, but Mana shoves the attraction away.

"Shut up, Trashykawa."

Mana takes note of the jab and laughs.

The boy pouts, but as soon as he's over it, he plants that smug smirk on his face that just makes him look stupid instead of intimidating. "I see what's going on," he says. "You're scared that I'll take her away from you!"

She only shakes her head at the airhead, eyes darting to more important things like the leaves scattered by the ferocious wind, the water kissed pavements and the leaves powdered with droplets.

"Really Iwa-chan," the brunet says and does his best impression of pity. "I know girls will never want you, but having this severe obsession and going as far as to rush her so she doesn't see me is just pitiful."

Mana can't take it anymore. She's known to be patient but there's something about Oikawa Tooru that pushes all of her buttons and taunts her into exploding.

Before Iwaizumi can inflict any sort of physical pain, she interlaces elbows with him and tips her chin upward and shows the idiot a smug smirk.

"I'm sorry," she says like she's remorseful and confused, but the acid underlying in her words are evident. "Who might you be again?"

He smiles, not faltered by her actions. "I'm Oikawa Tooru, I'm the setter of our volleyball team."

"Onkata Tofu?" Mana asks and she's trying so hard to push the giggles welling in the pit of her stomach.

Oikawa still looks unfazed, but she can see the tiniest hints of confusion. He flashes her a smile and Iwa tries to stop her but she merely bats her eyelashes.

"It's Oikawa," he says and places a palm on his chest, in the middle, just below the center of his collarbones as if there's something inside. "You wound my heart, Mana-chan. And here I thought I was pretty memorable."

Mana doesn't pause. "You're not really that important to be memorable."

His jaw slacks open.

"And darling, that's not where your heart is." She takes a step forward and presses a finger on his left chest, indicating where his heart is supposed to be. "It's here, beating and thunderous."

And Mana relishes in the confusion, the hurt and the disappointment. That would teach him, she reminds herself. She shouldn't mess with her friends. She interlaces elbows with Iwa again and picks up the umbrella. The fact that rain still dampened their clothes were a negative to her supposedly epic exit, but Mana would settle. Although she had won that battle, she can't help but feel danger! danger! danger! ring from that boy.

And indeed he is. Danger.

They weren't very far from him when they heard him say it (or maybe it was only Mana who heard it).

"I think my heart is not there too," he says, and Mana stops on her tracks. The rain doesn't stop. Drip drop drip drop drip drop. "I think it's with you."

* * *

now.

SHE'S STILL CONFUSED ABOUT THAT EVENTFUL FIRST MEETING. What would she do if she knew what her attraction to Oikawa could become. He saved her life, he was there when she needed him most, but those following moments.

Days. Weeks. Months.

He had inflicted the pain upon her. 

But no.

She reminds herself. They're going back to those days of halcyon. All those smiling and laughter.

It felt amazing. The feeling of hope, of having something to grab onto in this never ending ravine of darkness. To have a flat portion in this terrain of jagged land and mountains. To have air in all these breathless places. To have warmth among the coldness.

And to hold onto it.

Tightly.

She's never going to let go.

"How was the practice match?" she asks him when she arrives. He's damp with sweat, but his hair is still spiky and eccentric and she wants to run her fingers through it. "You really worked yourself out."

"No biggie," he said. "Did you wait that long?"

She shakes her head. "Who were you practicing with?"

"Just some alumni," he says and his eyes rake over her entire figure. "Your shoelaces are untied."

Before she can even crouch to tie the laces (that are indeed untied instead of some prank meant to fool her), Oikawa does it for her.

He looks up at her and plants that smile on his face. How can one beautiful boy inflict such ugly pain?

He will heal it. Her heart was split into two, she believes. And Oikawa has put it together again.

Believe him.

Believe him.

He stands up, encircles an arm around her shoulders and they walk. The weather is clear and the walk is nice.

Everything was going well.

Was.

"Oikawa!"

Mana looks up to see a person she doesn't expect to see outside the school premises. Still beautiful. And powerful.

Arashikage Mayuri with her vermillion hair tied to a ponytail, smiles at them— at Oikawa. She holds a basket in her hand, one stuffed with cookies that just looked so perfect.

"I figured you liked the ones I made for you yesterday," she said. "So I took the liberty of honoring our wager."

Yesterday?

She was with Oikawa yesterday. Watching 'Stranger Things' in his house while cuddling in the sofa.

She hands the basket of goods with a smile that Mana can't help but classify as smug. There's something in her eyes that terrify Mana, but she pushes past the intimidation and raises her chin at the girl. Mana knows Oikawa won't accept that basket. They're back to the good old days. She wants to laugh at Mayuri's face, but she's not crass enough to do that so for now, the smug look on her face is enough.

It's warm, the feeling of victory pulsing through veins and arteries.

And suddenly, his arms draw back from her shoulders.

And he accepts they basket with a smile.

Jaw drops and eyes widen, and she's panicking to cover up the embarrassment. The sensation flowing through her veins turn ice cold. Chilling winters akin to the gaze Mayuri Arashikage sends her.

But the girl's are more that of pity than victory.

"I did like the ones yesterday," he says. And Mana feels needles pricking her skin. She was with Oikawa yesterday. "You win this time."

This time?

It happened before. Mana can't believe it. That feeling of mortification is swiftly washed away by fury. Her knuckles resemble fish bones as she clenches them too much.

She doesn't even know who her fury is directed to. Too much confusion.

"But you shouldn't bother anymore, Mayu," he says. "Next time, I'll go get them myself."

Mayuri pouts. And Mana can't believe the action. Mayuri Arashikage is a viper and a beast. Pouting looked so crude on her. But Oikawa probably liked it. The way some sort of glimmer flickered in his eyes seemed to be a concrete evidence.

"It doesn't bother me," she said, twirling a lock of vermillion hair that escaped the ponytail that looks like it's tearing her head apart. "But if you're bothered, I can just take it to your house. Leave it in your porch or some sort."

"I'm not bothered," Oikawa immediately responds and she hates the flirting tome he uses. "Not at all."

Mana feels spears on her chest this time. She's always been a girl who didn't stand out in terms of appearance, even back when she was not so broken. Back then, it was her strong willed personality that drew people.

And when that part of her disappeared. She became invisible again. Like now.

Air.

Even when it's there you seldom acknowledge its existence.

"Really?" Mayuri asks, disbelieving as her eyes flit at Mana for a couple of seconds. Gratification immediately paints her skin at the sight of a jealous Mana.

"Yeah."

Mana, noticing the happiness the girl in front of her emits at her pathetic sight, reverts to her best impression of a poker face. Stay calm. Stay calm. Stay calm.

Don't feel. That's the only way for the pain to stop.

When Mayuri leaves, Oikawa magically notices his girlfriend again.

"Did you wait too long?" he asks and there's a hint of curiosity in his tone that she shrugs away. Mercifully, he didn't seem to notice the jealousy clawing at her features.

"Not really," she says, tone level. She ignores the basket of goods in his arms. Arms that should have been wrapped around her, meant to protect her. "Shall we go?"

I knew you were trouble when you came back

—but I still wanted you anyway.

* * *

e n d.
-
[ Supermarket Flowers ]

'sometimes, it's just better to let go.'

[ a u t h o r ' s  c o r n e r. ]

more details on their past next chapter !!