eighteen - "you're kinda a bit uh in the nude"

"Wha-where-when-" Bruce stuttered. Mira helped him up. He looked up at Thor. "What happened to your hair?"

"Some creepy old man cut it off," Thor muttered. Mira gave him a worried look, and he waved her away.

"It looks good," said Bruce, still in a daze. Thor beamed.

"Thanks!"

"Where are we?" Bruce said, looking around the plane. "How's Nat?" Mira and Thor exchanged glances.

"Nat is good, I'm sure," Thor said.

"And what about Sokovia?" Bruce asked.

"Sokovia?" Thor furrowed his eyebrows.

"The city, Sokovia," repeated Bruce, still looking around in confusion. "Did we save it?"

"Banner, listen," Thor said turning the man towards him.

"What?"

"Bruce...Sokovia and Ultron," Mira said. "That was two years ago." Bruce's eyes widened.

"W-hat are you saying?" he said. "I've been Hulk for 2 years?!"

"I'm afraid so," said Thor.

"What the hell happened?" Banner murmured. He ran to the flight console. Thor and Mira followed.

"Banner, there's something you should know-" Thor started saying. Bruce cut him off by putting his hand on the control pad.

"Voice activation required," said the computer.

"Banner," Bruce replied.

"Welcome, Strongest Avenger," the computer said. Thor glared at it, and Mira hid her laughter.

"That's not true..." Thor mumbled.

"Ship's log," Bruce said. The screen on the console loaded various videos of the Hulk. Most of them were of him thrashing around and destroying controls in the zero gravity. Mira put a comforting hand on Bruce's shoulder; he looked scared as he watched the log. The Hulk looked into the camera and seemed sick. Then it went black.

"You're ok now," she said.

"Mira, where are we?" said Bruce, shuffling around in the giant blanket.

"Yeah about that..." Thor trailed off. Suddenly, the Grandmaster's voice was heard outside. They rushed to the window and saw a giant hologram of the golden-clad man.

"He's so extra with those holograms," Mira muttered.

"It's bad news, bad news today," said the hologram. "Sakaar, hear ye!" Mira rolled her eyes. "Attention please. I have some bad news. My beloved, exalted champion has turned up missing. Take to the streets! Celebrate my champion!"

"Who's that?" asked Bruce.

"He runs this place," Mira explained.

"You actually lived in his house," Thor added.

"I did?" Bruce said, trying to remember.

"Yeah," Thor nodded. They continued looking out the window. "Quite a lot's happened. You and I had a fight recently."

"Did I win?" Bruce said, gazing at the neon buildings.

"No, I won," scoffed Thor. "Easily." Before Mira could object, he pinched her arm.

"Ow!" she muttered.

"That doesn't sound right," Banner said. Mira burst out laughing.

"Well, it's true," said Thor, glaring at Mira. They heard the Grandmaster's voice again.

"It seems that that criminally seductive Lord of Thunder has stolen him away!" he said, mad. Mira was crying now.

"Oh my god...seductive...oh boy," she doubled over in laughter.

"It's seductive GOD of thunder," Thor grumbled.

"Oh no," Bruce said, starting to panic. "This is bad. This is really, really bad." He looked up at her. "Mira, I think I'm freaking out." His breaths became quick. Thor took his shoulders.

"No, no, no, don't freak out!" said Thor, trying to be comforting. Mira rummaged around a nearby drawer and found some clothes.

"Here, wear these," she handed them to Bruce.

"These are Tony's clothes," he said, confused.

"I know, but you're kinda a bit uh in the nude," she motioned.

"I-is he here?" Bruce said as Thor pushed him to the other side of the ship to change.

"No, he's not here," Thor responded. "But listen. Just stay calm, okay? The sun's going down. The sun's getting really low. Sun's going down."

"That's not gonna help anything, you dumbass," Mira facepalmed.

A few minutes later, Mira was playing around with the pendant around her neck. The two men came out, and Bruce was now dressed in a pair of skinny jeans, a black blazer, and a Duran Duran shirt. It looked very Tony Stark. Mira almost started laughing, but she didn't want to offend Bruce by accident.

"Ay! Her name is Rio, and she dances on the sand!" Mira's eyes lit up and she started singing a bit when she saw the shirt. Bruce tilted his head "You don't know the song? Rio? By Duran Duran? Oh my god-"

"This isn't important!" Thor cut her off. Mira narrowed her eyes. "Ok maybe it is, but I don't know who that is and we need to save Asgard!"

"Fine fine," she rolled her eyes. "Let's go outside."

"Are you sure we should while he's uh..." Thor motioned to Bruce.

"Why? What's outside?" Bruce asked. Thor and Mira exchanged glances once again.

He was thoroughly scared once outside.

"Bruce, Bruce, calm down, keep walking," Mira whispered. He walked timidly, and Thor tried to push him further. She slapped the blonde's hand.

The whole Sakaar was in more chaos then it was usually, something Mira thought could never happen. There were people running around crazily in the crowded streets, and something big seemed to be happening on the other end of the street.

Bruce was clearly overwhelmed, and he sat down, head in his hands. Thor looked around for possible threats. Mira tried to help Bruce by rubbing his shoulder. She always had a soft spot for the shy Avenger.

"The sun's going down. It's getting really low. The sun's going down. It's getting real low," Thor repeated over and over. Mira gave him a look.

"That's obviously not helping!" she said to him.

"Would you stop saying that?" said Bruce, still stressed.

"I need you to stay calm," Thor said. Bruce looked up.

"Calm?! I'm on an alien planet!" he said with panic.

"It's just a planet," Thor said causally. "You've been on a planet before."

"Yeah! One!" Bruce said.

"Now you've been on two!" said Thor, encouragingly. "That's a good thing. It's a new experience." Mira facepalmed again.

"My neurons, they're firing faster than my brain can handle the information," said Bruce, wringing his hands. "The whole thing is totally different this time. In the past, I always felt like Hulk and I each had a hand on the wheel," he imitated driving, "but this time it's like he had the keys and I was locked in the trunk." He shook his head with worry.

"Alright, well, you're back now, so that's all that matters," Thor said with a comforting smile.

"No, it's not what matters. What I'm trying to tell you, is that if I turn into the Hulk again, Banner may never come back," Bruce explained. Mira widened her eyes. "And we're stranded on a planet that is designed to stress me out!" He looked around anxiously.

"We're not stranded," Thor said. "I'm going to figure out a way to get us home."

"Thank you," Bruce said with slight relaxation. Thor hesitated.

"Not your home though," he said. "Asgard." It was Mira's time of confusion.

"Wait, what?!" She stared at him. "I need to get back to Earth! I left my son with a freaking Sorcerer Supreme! Do you know how bad that is?! Thor! My son is being watched by a wizard!" The blonde put his hands up in defense as her whip sparked.

"So we aren't going home?" Bruce asked, head drooping again.

"Listen, my people are in great danger," Thor said. "You and I and Mira, we have to fight this really powerful being who also happens to be my sister." Bruce gave another look.

"Ok that is wrong on so many levels," he groaned. "I-I don't want to fight you sister! That's a family issue..."

"No, she is an evil being," said Thor.

"She also has a killer sense of emo style," Mira commented. "Pun not intended."

"I don't care what she is," Bruce shook his head. "I'm not fighting any more beings. I'm sick of it. I just told you." He looked at Thor. "If I turn into the Hulk, I am never gonna come back again. And you don't care." He looked back down again. Mira raised her eyebrow at Thor.

"Told you so," she mouthed. He grumbled but went back to Bruce.

"No, no," Thor tried again. "I'm putting together a team, and Hulk is the fire!" He gave a smile.

"Wait, you're just using me to get to the Hulk?" asked Bruce. He sighed. Thor's face turned into regret.

"What? No!" he said.

"That's gross," Bruce mumbled. "You don't care about me...you're not my friend."

"You both sound just like Kaleb," Mira muttered to herself.

"No! I don't even like the Hulk," scoffed Thor. "He's all like, 'smash, smash, smash.' I prefer you." Bruce smiled.

"Thanks."

"But if I'm being honest," Thor started, "when it comes to fighting evil beings, he is very powerful and useful." Mira shot him a look again.

"Yeah Banner is powerful and useful too!" Bruce said, mad.

"Is he though?" said Thor, making a doubtful face.

"How many PhDs does Hulk have? Zero. How many PhDs does Banner have?" Bruce asked proudly. "Seven!"

"Damn, I didn't even know that," Mira said. "Good job man. I barely got my BA."

"Fine, you don't have to fight anyone," Thor sighed. "But we're in danger here, so we have to move." He looked around, grabbed a towel, and put it around his head. Mira raised an eyebrow.

"Uh what's that?" she said, pointing to the rag.

"I need a disguise. I'm a fugitive," he explained. She rubbed her forehead.

"Oh my god..."

"I need a disguise too!" Bruce said.

"You are in disguise," Thor pointed out. Bruce put a hand in the jacket pocket and pulled out one of Stark's signature translucent sunglasses. He put them on.

"I'll be Tony Stark!"

"What?" Thor said.

"Yeah, Tony and the gypsy," Mira laughed.

"No, no you're not Tony," Thor shook his head. "You're Bruce Banner."

"Then why did you dress me up as Tony?"

"Because you were naked," Thor said.

"Ok, I'll give you that," Bruce nodded. Mira sighed.

"So how are we escaping?" she asked. They all stood up. Bruce started adjusting the crotch part of his pants. She facepalmed once more.

"What are you doing?!" Thor said, hitting his hand away. "Stop doing that!"

"Tony wears his pants super tight!" Bruce complained. Mira burst out laughing again.

"Why are you being so weird?" said Thor.

"I don't know. Maybe the fact that I was trapped for two years inside of a monster made me a little weird!" Bruce's veins flashed green, and Mira and Thor backed up a bit.

"Woah woah, it's fine now, Bruce," she said, putting her hands up. His skin returned to normal.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"It's ok." Suddenly, a light bulb lit up in Mira's mind. She turned to Thor. "Hey I think I have an idea of how I can help."

"Mira, it's ok, we got this," Thor said. "We can punch our way through."

"Ok, that's not going to work," she put her hands on her hips. "I have direct contact with the Grandmaster. I can convince him to lend me a ship or something and we can leave." She rubbed the pendant of her necklace. It started buzzing. She looked down in surprise and heard a small voice.

"What was that?" Bruce asked, peering over her shoulder. Mira narrowed her eyes, and had an idea.

"Hold up," she said. She put the pendant up to her ear and widened her eyes when she heard Loki's voice. There was also...Bruna?

"Why would you help my brother escape with that green fool?" Loki sneered.

"I don't help anyone!" Bruna said, obviously mad. There was a pause, and the sound of punches.

"They're fighting!" Mira said with realisation. "Oh my god! I leave for fifteen minutes and both of them are already killing each other! Geez..."

"You're a Valkyrie," Loki said, interested. "I thought the Valkyrie all died gruesome deaths." Another thud of a body hitting a wall. There was also the distinct noise of a knife.

"Choose your next words wisely," Bruna said, quiet but intense.

"Terribly sorry. Must be a very painful memory," said Loki.

All of a sudden, Mira saw a vision of silver ladies riding beautiful silver stallions. They all wielded powerful weapons. Then she saw Hela, black lightning and black swords surrounding her. Dozens of Valkyrie fell from the sky as they were hit by her knives. Hela laughed evilly. The winged horses lay dead on the floor. She saw Bruna about to be hit with a blade, when another Valkyrie jumped in front of her. Bruna reached for the other girl, who was stabbed brutally. She was the last sight before the brunette fell into a hole, blacking out.

The memory ended as abruptly as it had started. Mira felt tears on her face. She vaguely heard Thor and Bruce asking if she was ok. Mira kept listening to the conversation, trying to hear Loki's voice again. Before she could, there was a sudden static as if he had been knocked out. She pulled the pendant away.

"-ira, Mira?" Bruce said, waving a hand in front of her face. "Are you ok? Earth to Mira?"

"Mira! Mira!" Thor said, shaking her shoulders harshly. "Be alive!"

"I'm ok, I'm ok!" she said loudly. He took his hands off.

"What happened?" asked Bruce.

"I think I just heard Loki and Bruna fighting," she said softly. "I gotta go and find them." She began to ran towards the palace building.

"Wait, Mira! Come back!" Thor yelled.

"I will! Go find a ship or something! I'll find you guys!" she shouted back. Mira turned her gaze back to the building, and she started sprinting.

Time to save the world, apparently.

A/N

SURPRISE MWAHAHAHAH A LONG CHAPTER AHAHA

oh also i might switch around some events because i want mira to be in one and this sorta messed it up but i couldn't figure out any other way to get her to not miss all this important stuff with banner and all sO YEET #writerstruggles

INFINITY WAR IS TOMORROW!!!!! IF YOU HAVE THE PRIVILEGE TO SEE IT BEFORE ALL OF US DO, P L E A S E FOR THE LOVE OF LOKI DO NOT SPOIL ANYTHING!!! #THANOSDEMANDSYOURSILENCE

ok psa done lol 

thanks for 14k reads hajkwkfkwkodk 🎉🎉🎉🎉

bye yall! another chapter coming probably on monday ahhh sorry it's so far (my weekend is PACKED)