"I was going crazy and was getting very depressed."
{Catherine Girgenti}

//

you may want to watch that audio, even though you may hate me :))))))

WE CAME BACK home from the Nightly Double with Steve and Soda. I have to admit, it was a pretty 'lit' night, according to Steve's vocabulary.

Pony and I got back on our usual sofas and I was about asleep when I heard Pony whisper something. "Sleep tight, Kip. Can't wait for our date tomorrow."

So, it was a date?

I smiled and smiled until I fell fast asleep. I honestly couldn't wait for tomorrow, besides the part of the night where we have to break into Bob's house. I could never be ready for that. If we get caught, we'll go to jail, or even worse, Bob will try and do something evil.

Or will he?

He's been extremely nice to me lately, so I have no clue.

"Kieran, wake up!" I heard Pony's voice. He was shaking me constantly. I sat up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes.

"Pony, why the hell are you waking me up this early?"

He started giggling. "Kieran, it's twelve in the afternoon."

"Oh."

I stood up and went to go change into something remotely nice. I was going on a date with Pony. Of course, he didn't care what I looked like, but I still wanted to at least surprise him a bit. I hopped in the shower, letting the warm water trail down my pale skin. It felt amazing. I just wanted to stay in here forever and forget about everything that was going on in my life.

Why can't it go back to the way it was?

I'd even take Bob bullying me again, just so I can go back to living my old and normal life. I would have Gramps. I'd wake up to him sitting in his rocking chair watching Andy Griffith, or sitting at the kitchen table reading a newspaper. I miss it. I miss him.

I felt this urge to throw up everywhere.

Was it possible that you could get so sad, you get sick?

I sat down in the shower, leaning my head against the wall of the bathtub. I couldn't move myself. There was a knock at the door. "Ki, are you alright?"

It was Soda's voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine! I just had to sit down for a second, I don't feel too well!" I called.

"Oh, okay. Well, I hope you get to feeling better, alright? Pony's waiting on you."

I sighed, standing up slowly. I finished washing off and then turned off the shower. I probably made Darry's water bill go up a hundred dollars, which made me feel guilty. I'll have to pay him. He already does so much work.

I got dressed into a dress, yes, a dress. It had a floral pattern on it, and it was beautiful. I blow-dried my hair and straightened it, leaving it down. I put on some make-up since the bags under my eyes were scary. I'm still wearing my converse, though. I stepped out of the bathroom and into the living room where all of the guys were.

They all glanced up at me and Pony's eyes were huge. "Wow.." He mumbled, causing Soda, Steve, and Two-Bit to snicker.

I rolled my eyes and turned towards Darry. "I'm sorry, I probably made your water bill go up a hundred dollars. I'll give you some money."

He looked at me like I was stupid. "Kieran, now why would I make you pay for that? These two boys over here take longer showers than you just did. I don't mind."

I chuckled. "Okay, whatever you say."

I'm still going to sneak a hundred dollar bill in his wallet later, though.

"Well, we better hurry up and go, Pony. We have to go out with Dally and Johnny later. I don't want to make them wait on us." I spoke, making him walk towards the door. Dally and Johnny nodded, knowing what I was talking about.

"Bye guys!"

"Bye sister-in-law!" I heard Soda shout, causing me to throw my middle finger up before I fully exited out the door.

//

WE WALKED IN the Dingo and Jay's and got greeted by Dale. I gave him a light grin. "Long time no see, Dale."

The last time we talked, we got in a fight. It was when I was having a date with Pony and Cherry because of the 'triangle.'

"Yeah, you should visit me more often, I missed you two! Where have y'all been?" He asked while directing us to a booth. He already started writing my order down, and I took a deep breath.

"We've just been busy doing other things."

"Oh." He knitted his eyebrows in confusion. "Well, Pony, what do you want?"

"Just give me a burger and a chocolate milkshake."

"Alrighty, comin' right up." He announced, going behind the counter.

I just stared at Pony, admiring his features. His beautiful, blonde hair, his chocolate brown eyes, his- "Kieran, are you alright?" He questioned, having an amused look on his face.

I could feel my cheeks heating up and I quickly turned away from his gaze. "Y-yeah, I'm fine. I was just staring off into space."

"More like staring into my face." He laughed, causing me to slap him on the shoulder.

Dale came back with our food, and we devoured it. "I never realized I was that hungry." I exclaimed, taking a sip of my milkshake.

Pony nodded, agreeing with me. "We've been so busy lately, we never really focused on eating much."

I glanced up at the clock on the wall and started getting my money out to pay. "It's three, we need to get going."

He put his hand around my wrist. "I'll pay."

"Are we really going to have this argument again?" I whined, causing him to chuckle.

"It won't have to be an argument if you just let me pay."

I rolled my eyes. "You paid last time we were here, so now I'm paying. It's only fair."

He sighed. "Alright, fine. Pay for it."

I smiled in satisfaction and put the money on the table. We walked out of the Dingo and Jay's and I sat down on the sidewalk, Pony taking a seat beside me. "What's wrong?" He asked, concerned.

I shook my head. "It's nothing. Just a little tired that's all."

"I know when you say 'tired' you don't mean it in the sleepy kind of way. Tell me, Kieran." He demanded.

I took a shaky breath, not wanting to cry. "Am I depressed, Pony? Cause I feel like it. I didn't even get time to mourn my Gramps's death because some bastard wants to mess with us. Now, Derek's dead. And I already know that more people I love will be dead too. I can't take it anymore!" By the end of my rant, I was sobbing into Pony's chest.

He ran his fingers through my hair trying to calm me down. He put his finger below my chin and lifted it up, so I was looking straight into his eyes. "Listen, Kieran. If you don't want to go to Bob's tonight I won't make you. Dally, Johnny, and I can do it."

I lightly chuckled. "No offense, but you three don't exactly make the best team for being silent."

He started laughing and planted a kiss on my forehead. "But you and me make the best team."

currently me because OTP is rising

It was seven now, and we met Dally and Johnny by the Nightly Double. We started walking slowly towards the Soc's side.

"And now ladies and gents, we've entered the gates of hell." Dally mumbled, causing all of us to laugh.

"By the time we get there, it will be eight. But by the time we get the courage to even go inside, it'll be around ten." I spoke, causing them to chuckle.

"Bob's family is asleep at eight?" Johnny asked with a confused look on his face.

I shrugged. "Yeah, sleep is important to them."

"Yeah, well sleep is important to me too, but I don't go to sleep at eight." Johnny replied.

"Well, aren't you in a sassy mood today?" I retorted.

We finally arrived in front of Bob's house and I could literally feel my heart beating in my ears. I could hear it too. We snuck around to the backyard and I opened the window, silently thanking Bob's mom for leaving it unlocked.

We all slowly climbed in, entering into what looked like the kitchen. "We all should go separate ways, that way we'll find the note faster."

They nodded and we all went our separate ways. I started walking in the hallway, examining all of the photographs on the wall. I was about to look in the closet when a pair of hands wrapped around my mouth.

"Long time no see."