Turnabout Goodbyes (Part 6!!!!!!)
At the Courthouse...
The judge slammed his gavel down to begin the trial.
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Judge: Court is now in session for the trial of Mr. Miles Edgeworth.
Phoenix: The Defense is ready, Your Honor.
von Karma: ... ...
Judge: Very well, apparently the prosecution is also ready.
(Y/N): Who is the judge here?! You or him?!
Judge: Mr. von Karma, your opening statement.
von Karma: ... ...
Judge: Er... very well, no opening statement so...
von Karma: OBJECTION!! Not so fast, Judge! I was taking a meaningful pause before speaking!
Judge: R-right, of course.
von Karma: A prediction! Today's trial will end three minutes from now!
Judge: Order... order! Mr. von Karma! What is the meaning of your statement just now!?
von Karma: Bah! Must you question everything! It will be over in three minutes! We have no time to waste! I'll call my witness now!
Judge: R-right...
von Karma: I call my witness... my decisive witness to the stand!
The caretaker soon came up, but he fell asleep at the witness stand.
(Y/N): Him.
Phoenix: I knew it.
von Karma: WITNESS! STATE YOUR OCCUPATION!
Caretaker: Huh?? I, er, am the proprietor of the restaurant the "Wet Noodle" at Gourd Lake. And I also rent boats.
von Karma: The night of the incident, you were in the boat rental shop, correct?
Caretaker: Sure was!
von Karma: Very well, your testimony then.
(Y/N): WAIT A MINUTE! The witness hasn't stated his name yet!
von Karma: There is no need. I have predicted this trial will end in three minutes! Stop asking trivial questions and cooperate!
Judge: The witness will state his name.
Caretaker: Zzzz... ... Mmph! Well, er... I'm not really sure, ayup.
Judge: What do you mean?
Caretaker: My, er, memory...
von Karma: Your honor... The witness does not remember anything beyond the last several years... Ergo, he cannot recall his own name.
Judge: Hmm... he can't recall, you say?
von Karma: Yes, but the incident in question took place three days ago. He can testify.
Judge: Very well. Let's hear his testimony then, shall we. Witness?
Witness Testimony: The Night of the Murder...
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Caretaker: It was the night of the 24th, just after midnight, ayup. I was in the restaurant... where I er... rent boats, as usual. Then I heard a "bang!" Ayup. When I looked out the window, I saw a boat just a' floating on the lake. Then I heard another "bang." Just about then the boat comes back to the shore, and a man walks by my window.
Judge: Hmm...Very well. I'd like to begin the cross-examination...
von Karma: OBJECTION! There is nothing to question in my witness's testimony! Ergo, no need for cross-examination! Besides, there are only 10 seconds left before our three minutes are up! Judge! Your verdict, now!
(Y/N): No!
Phoenix: We'll start the cross examination!!
von Karma: AAAAAAAARGG!!
Judge: E-excuse me? Mr. von Karma?
von Karma: 3 minutes have already passed!!!
Cross Examination...
Right at the last statement, there was something iffy.
Phoenix: HOLD IT!!! By your window?
Caretaker: Ayup, by my window. Right outside the window of my little shack.
Phoenix: And, could you see the man's face?
Caretaker: Well, the fog was pretty darn thick, but he was right there in front of me. I saw him.
(Y/N): Are you saying-
Caretaker: YES!! IT WAS THAT EDGEWORTH BOY!!
He collapsed and fell over!
Judge: ... This... sounds like decisive evidence indeed. I see no room for doubt.
(Y/N): NO!! VON KARMA!!!
Phoenix: It was a trap!!
von Karma: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Maya: This isn't good! Please... Can you hear me, Sis? Please... We need your help..
von Karma: Tsk tsk tsk... Three minutes was perhaps too high an expectation. However, fifteen minutes isn't bad! This must be a new record.
(Y/N): NOO!!
Phoenix: It can't end like this!! DAAAMN IT!!!
Judge: This court sees no reason to further prolong the trial. Nor is there any need for more time to decide the case against the defendant. This case is extremely clear. I see no room for misinterpretation of the facts. This court find the defendant, Mr. Miles Edgeworth-
???: HOLD IT!!!
All of a sudden, Larry ran in, and knocked the old man away from the Witness Stand!!!
Phoenix: Huh? Waaaaah! L-Larry!
(Y/N): What's that moron doing now?!
Judge: Wh-what are you doing here!?
Larry: Listen! Y-you gotta listen to me! I... I was... I was there, in the park, the night of the murder! I... I wasn't sure about it until just yesterday. B-but today I remembered it! The gunshot! I heard it too!
(Y/N): YES!! He can sa-
von Karma: OBJECTION!!! What is the meaning of this!? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!
Judge: Mr. von Karma! We must hear this! So, you did hear a gunshot?
Larry: Yeah, I did! A gunshot! That night! I was sitting here in the audience, listening to the testimony... Then I realized, something he said was different from what I remember! A-anyhow, I can't just sit here and let you call Edgey a murderer! It's... It's just not right! I'll testify! Lemme testify!
Phoenix: This is our chance!!
Phoenix: You're right! Okay! Your Honor! If there is another witness, it is our duty to hear him speak! Right here! Right now!
Judge: In all court proceedings, it is our duty to prevent an inaccurate verdict. In order to make sure no mistake has been made, every witness should be heard!
von Karma: WHAT?! AAAAAARGH!!!
Judge: The court will adjourn for a five minute recess. After that, we will hear this new witness. Court is adjourned!
He slammed his gavel down as you and the others left into the defendant lobby.
Phoenix: Whew... That was too close. Sorry to keep you on the edge of your seat like that, Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: Hmph. I've seen worse. To be honest, I wasn't expecting Larry of all people.
(Y/N): He must have been looking for the Steel Samurai float.
Maya: Oh right. And he found the balloon and the air tank that night?
Phoenix: Yeah.
(Y/N): Say ... Edgeworth, why were your fingerprints on the murder weapon?
Edgeworth: Oh. When he fell into the lake, I went into a daze. I couldn't understand what had happened. I couldn't think straight. Then I saw the pistol lying on the floor of the boat in front of me. I picked it up without thinking. I didn't have a reason, really.
(Y/N): Ah, I see.
Edgeworth: This might be our chance.
Phoenix: Our chance?
Edgeworth: von Karma has only ever run perfect trials.
Phoenix: Perfect trials...?
Edgeworth: Perfectly prepared witnesses, perfectly complete evidence. That's the secret to his success. This is the first time he's ever had to deal with something unexpected! He has let someone he hasn't even talked to testify before the court! And that someone... is Larry!
Phoenix: What are you getting at?
Edgeworth: It's likely his testimony will be full of holes, Wright.
Phoenix: Yeah!
(Y/N): Who would have thought a moron like Larry would be our greatest asset.
Back in the courtroom...
Judge: Court is now back in session. Witness... Please testify to the court about everything that you saw... on the night of December 24th.
Larry: Right... leave it to me!
Witness Testimony: The Night of the Murder...
Larry: That night, I was out in a boat on the lake. I was looking for something and I, er, found it. So I quietly slipped the boat back in at the rental shop dock. Then, just as I was thinking about going home, I heard this "bang"! I looked out over the lake, but I didn't notice the boat. So after I heard that single gunshot I went home.
Judge: Hmm... That was an unusually vague testimony, even for this court. In any matter, Mr. Wright, you may begin your cross-examination.
Phoenix: Yes, Your Honor...
Maya: Uh .. Nick, you seem scared.
Phoenix: It's Larry! I have no idea what he's going to say if I press him. I'm a little scared.
(Y/N): We've come this far! Let's do it!
Cross Examination...
Luckily, there was a clear contradiction in the last statement!
Phoenix: OBJECTION!! Hold on a sec, Larry!
Larry: Wh-What?
Phoenix: You only heard one "bang"!? You're sure!?
Larry: Yeah, that's what I said!
Phoenix: But Mr. Lotta Hart testified yesterday that she heard two "bang"s! And the old man just now said the same thing! They both heard two gunshots that night!
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Larry: Huh?
Phoenix: Were you even listening!? Were you paying attention at all to what they said?
Larry: Yo! Nick, please! You know, something's been bothering me. I'm a witness, see? I'm like a customer here! So you got to treat me nice and stuff, okay!?
Judge: Mr. Butz.
Larry: What!?
Judge: You only heard one gunshot? Are you sure?
Larry: ... Umm... Well, to tell ya the truth... I'm not sure.
Judge: Eh...?
(Y/N): HOW CAN YOU NOT BE SURE??
Larry: Yeah, well... I, uh, I might have missed the other gunshot. I was, uh, listening to something else...
(Y/N): And that is?
Larry: My radio, dude! On my headphones.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
The judge slammed his gavel again as everyone was still booing Larry!
Judge: Order! Order! And stop that booing! M-Mr. Butz! You were listening to a radio on earphones?
Larry: Y-yeah! So what! That a crime!? I listen to my radio! Everybody listens to the radio! What's the big deal!?
Judge: Hmm... Mr. von Karma... your opinion?
von Karma: A waste of time.
(Y/N): No! Let us continue! Please!
Judge: Very well, Mr. Butz. Please give your testimony, and be sure to include details like your RADIO.
von Karma: Bah! Now you're both just grasping at straws.
Witness Testimony: What Larry Heard...
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Larry: It's lonely, being alone on Christmas Eve! That's why I was listening to an all-requests show on the radio, see? I was listening to it real booming loud, like. But I'm sure I heard that gunshot! I remember exactly what the DJ was saying when I heard it, too.
Judge: You were listening to your radio... at a high volume!?
Larry: Yeah, what's the big problem? Can't a man listen to his radio in peace? Isn't this a free country!?
(Y/N): The dumbass doesn't even get it!
von Karma: Judge. Can you believe a word this witness says? What he heard was probably nothing more than a drum beat from the radio!
Judge: True enough, it is difficult to believe this testimony.
Phoenix: OBJECTION!!! Wait, Your Honor! The witness said he remembers exactly what the DJ said when he heard the gunshot!
Judge: Excuse me? "Dee-jay"...?
(Y/N): An announcer... the guy who says things on the radio. Anyway! What this means is, when he heard the sound, no music was playing! The DJ only talks between songs! So he could have heard the gunshot from the lake! Let us cross examine him!!
Judge: Very well then.
Cross Examination...
There was something iffy about Larry's last statement.
(Y/N): HOLD IT!! Larry, what did he say?
Larry: He said, "Hey! It's almost Christmas!"
Phoenix: Larry! Are you absolutely sure what you're saying is correct!?
Larry: Huh? What's with the face? You look scary, dude. Hey, if you're trying to scare me, you better know I don't scare that easy!
Judge: Is something the matter, Mr. Wright?
Phoenix: Your Honor! Did you hear what the witness just said? The DJ said "Hey! It's almost Christmas!" when he heard the gunshot!
Judge: Indeed... And...?
Phoenix: "Almost Christmas" means it wasn't Christmas! Do you realize what this means? When he heard the gunshot, it was still Christmas Eve!!!
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Judge: That would seem to be the case, yes...
Phoenix: But that contradicts the two testimonies we have heard, Your Honor! Both Ms. Hart and the old man said it was after midnight when they heard the shots! In other words... When they heard the gunshots, it was already Christmas!!!
(Y/N): Exactly! A clear contradiction!
Judge: What does this mean? The two prior witnesses heard gunshots after midnight. However, this witness says he heard a gunshot before midnight...
von Karma: Judge. The answer is simple. The current witness is plainly mistaken. Just look at him! Suspicious!
Larry: HEY!
(Y/N): No! I believe he's right! Look at this photo!
You showed the second photo that Lotta's camera took!
(Y/N): This was taken by our witness yesterday, Ms. Lotta Hart, with her automatic camera. The timestamp on the photo reads "December 24, 11:50 PM."
Judge: But ... I don't see a thing.
Phoenix: Your Honor. The real issue here is not why nothing is shown in the photograph. It is why this photograph exists at all!
(Y/N): Yeah, her camera goes off when a loud noise is heard!
Judge:
Ahah!
Phoenix: Correct! There was a loud noise on the lake at 11:50 PM. That is why this photograph was taken! In other words... When Larry heard that gunshot, it was most definitely Christmas Eve!
Judge: Indeed, it would seem that is the case! Then... where does that leave us? Ms. Hart testified that she heard the gunshots after midnight. Are you claiming she was mistaken?
Phoenix: Not at all, Your Honor. It is a fact that the camera also triggered at 15 minutes after midnight! Your Honor! That night, there were two sets of gunshots, with a 25 minute pause between them!
Judge: Why would this be?
von Karma: OBJECTION!! Don't be fooled, Judge! That camera was set to respond to "loud noises"!
Judge: Yes?
von Karma: There is no proof that the "loud noise" at 11:50 was a gunshot! Why, the witness could have sneezed, triggering the camera!
Larry: H-hey, my noise was clear that night, man! Clear!
(Y/N): Just look at the murder weapon! Both of the witnesses who testified yesterday heard two gunshots. However, the murder weapon was fired three times. When, then, was the last shot fired? Only now have we realized the truth. That third shot was the shot Larry heard just before midnight!
Judge: Hmm... That would make sense of the evidence we've seen so far. ... However... This leaves me wondering exactly what did happen that night on the lake.
von Karma: If this is true, there were two sets of gunshots, separated by 25 minutes! One at 11:50, another at 15 minutes after midnight! Why, I ask you! Why!?
(Y/N): It has to be that moment!
Phoenix: Of course!
von Karma: Listen, rookies. Take a deep breath, and consider the facts. At the time of the murder, one boat was on the lake. This was shown by the witness's photograph. The defendant, Edgeworth, and victim, Robert Hammond, were on that boat. There was a gunshot fired on that boat, and Robert Hammond fell into the lake. The distance of the shooting was one meter. It couldn't have been suicide! Well? The guilty party has to be the other man on that boat!
Phoenix: Yes... But this assumes that the victim was shot at 15 minutes after midnight.
(Y/N): And Larry heard a gunshot 25 minutes before that! Robert Hammond was killed then! 25 minutes before the shot on the lake! That means Edgeworth and Hammond's killer were on the boat!
Judge: Wh... What!? Are you serious?
(Y/N): Let's go over the facts. Robert Hammond called Edgeworth to the lake. Now, Edgeworth didn't know Robert Hammond's face that well. That's why he didn't suspect anything when the murderer took Robert Hammond's place!
Judge: Well who is the murderer?
(Y/N) and Phoenix: We ... don't know.
von Karma: Bah! Again, you waste my time!
Phoenix: But that's only because we don't know his name! He never told us!
(Y/N): Yeah! The caretaker killed Hammond!
Judge: The caretaker of the boat shop!? Wh-where did he do this!? There weren't any boats on the lake then!
Phoenix: The boat shop, where he lives. That way he could meet with the victim without anyone seeing!
(Y/N): Exactly! That night he was out on the lake in a boat, searching for something. He finds it, and returns the boat. Then, just as he's starting to head for home, he hears a gunshot! He heard a gunshot, Your Honor! Even though he was wearing headphones at the time! In other words, the gunshot was very, very close by! And where would that be if he had just returned a boat?
Judge: At the Boat Shop!
(Y/N): The caretaker of the boat shop called Robert Hammond to his shop. This was around 11:50. That was when the gunshot that Larry heard was fired. After that, the caretaker put on Robert Hammond's coat... He became Robert Hammond! Then he got in the boat with Edgeworth, and went out into the middle of the lake. He then shot at Edgeworth twice! Missing on purpose!
Judge: Why would he shoot twice if he didn't mean to hit anyone?
(Y/N): Simple. To create a witness. The murderer lifts his pistol and fires one shot. That ensures that anyone who heard the shot would look at the lake. Indeed, Ms. Lotta Hart did exactly that after hearing the first gunshot. Next! The murderer waits a bit and he fires again. Then... he jumps from the boat himself! Leaving the pistol in the boat behind him.
Judge: ... I see! To someone looking from the edge of the lake... It would appear that one of the men on the boat had shot the other!
(Y/N): The murderer didn't know about the automatic camera, of course. That's why he shot twice to draw attention to the boat! The boat shop caretaker swam back to his shop. Then he put Mr. Hammond's coat back on the body. And threw the body into the lake! This is what happened, Your Honor. These are the events that transpired that night on Gourd Lake.
Judge: ... Bailiff! Bring out the witness from before! The boat shop caretaker! Quickly!
Edgeworth was then called to the stand!
Judge: Mr. Edgeworth... You heard what the defense has said?
Edgeworth: Yes.
Judge: Well? Why did you go to the lake that night?
Edgeworth: ... What Wright and his assistant have said was mostly correct. Astonishingly so, actually. Yes... Several days ago, I received a letter. The letter was signed, "Robert Hammond." He asked me to come to the boat shop by the lake at midnight on Christmas Eve. He said he had something very important to discuss with me. can't say what it was.
Then the baliff burst in!
Baliff: The witness has disappeared! He isn't at the boat shop, either!
Everyone: WHAT?!
Judge: FIND HIM QUICKLY!!! It goes without saying that I cannot declare a verdict under these circumstances. I will extend the trial until tomorrow, the final day allowed. I request that the police department utilize all its forces to find that witness! Am I understood? One more thing. Just who is that boat shop caretaker? I think his identity has become very important to this trial. I want him, and I want to know who he is. Court is adjourned!!
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