We see Alucard inside of a stockade, groaning in pain as he is faced with the infamous Monster Hunter! 

Abraham Van Helsing (The famous Monster Hunter! A Dutch Doctor who knows everything about all monsters! Mostly an expert on vampires! Known to be the archenemy of the Vampire King, Count Dracula! Voiced by Christopher Sabat!) 

Van Helsing: Vampire King. You lay upon ze blood-soaked dirt of your ruined land. Castles plundered... dominions in ruin... servants destroyed - all to end ze hellfire wis which you sought to cover ze world. A bloody conquest having consumed hundreds of thousands, countless villages razed to ze ground, and over 20,000 impaled and prostrated by you and you alone to strike horror into the hearts of mortal men! Vhat say you, monster, demon, devil conceived by the bleakest womb?! WHAT SAY YOU NOW?!

Alucard: The Aristocrats. 

Van Helsing: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! 

He goes to strike Alucard and then Alucard wakes up back in the Hellsing Mansion! 

Alucard: OH GOD! IT'S ORIENTATION DAY! 

Soon... 

(Y/N): And this should do. 

You had rounded up a bunch of graduates from Beacon. 

(Y/N): Some of the finest Hunters you could ever ask for. They've especially tried to wield all kinds of weapons! 

Ruby: And face all kinds of scenarios. 

Integra: (Y/N), girls, I appreciate your generosity. Either way, you've all been subcontracted as personal bodyguards to the Hellsing Organization. As you've heard, we deal with special interest targets: Terrorists, cultists, and individuals who believe themselves to be of... a mystical persuasion. 

Graduate: Well, is there anything else we should be informed about the facility? 

Integra: Everything you need to know has already been covered in the briefing.

Suddenly, Alucard jumped out of a wall! 

https://youtu.be/51DjxGrnZzE

Play from 0:00-0:02... 

(Y/N): ALUCARD! GUYS! 

They kept screaming! 

Weiss: Hang on, I got this. SHUT UP! 

They all shut up. 

(Y/N): Thank you, Weiss. 

Weiss: (smiling) Anytime. 

Ruby: Now that's just cute! 

Alucard: So what's up with the pride meeting? 

(Y/N): They are some of our classmates that we asked to replace all the soldiers that we lost in the Valentine Brothers' 

Alucard: Wait, like graduate amateurs? 

Integra: (Y/N) usually knows strong and skilled people. We need all we can get. 

Blake: It's not like you have any better ideas, Mr. Vampire. 

Alucard: We are really scraping the bottom of the barrel here.

Walter runs into the room. 

Walter: Sir Integra, I apologize; I tried to stop him. But when I pleaded with him, he merely responded with, And mind my French, "Fuck the police." He then proceeded to tilt every painting as he passed on the way here. 

https://youtu.be/qMPU9xmRCf0

Integra: Walking through that hallway is going to give me such a headache now.

Weiss: I'll say. 

Walter: Speaking of headaches, a very curious letter arrived for you in the mail.

Yang: Let's see. 

Yang took the letter and started to read it. 

Yang: It's from some guy called "Enrico Maxwell." Man sounds like a dick. 

Integra: Maxwell? THAT FILTHY, SLIMY, ARROGANT ITALIAN PIECE OF SHI- 

Inside of a museum... 

Integra was meeting with this Maxwell guy. 

Enrico Maxwell (The Leader of the Iscariot Organization! He was raised by Anderson, and now has made him his subordinate! Like Anderson, he hates Protestants with a passion, however, he is a religious fanatic and pure evil at heart! He hates Pope Francis with a burning passion, because he despises poor people and homosexuals! Voiced by Chris Guerrero! (The voice of Cooler!))

Integra: Maxwell, it's been far too long. 

Maxwell:  I agree. You're no longer that little girl I used to know. Look at all those lines on your face.

(Y/N): MMMPH! 

Ruby: I do not like this guy. 

Integra: Just bear with him. 

Yang: What, this hypocritical bastard? 

Maxwell: My, what a way for a lady to speak? Do you not know any manners? 

Yang: I'LL GIVE YOU SOME TO YOUR- 

(Y/N): Yang, don't sink to his level. How is the Pope doing? 

Maxwell: Better than your failing church. 

Integra: Well, not all of us can exploit illegals.

Maxwell: But you don't waste time making money off Rupert Murdoch!

Alucard then appeared. 

Alucard: Honestly, if you're going to have a dickfighting competition with a woman, you must have started off with the world's cruelest handicap. Which I'm sure benefits the 9-year-old boy you have chained up in your private Vatican jet. Which was paid for how? Oh right! Generous donations from your followers to spread the word of God... all over his back.

(Y/N): GOD DAMN IT, ALUCARD! 

Yang: Hey, at least it wasn't me this time. 

Maxwell: HOW DARE YOU! YOU MEAN TO CALL ME A- ANDERSON!!! 

Blake: What?! 

Anderson appeared behind Maxwell. 

(Y/N): You again! 

Anderson: Serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling.

Alucard: You got me a present?! 

Anderson: Kiss the son lest he be angry, and ye perish from the way... when his wrath is kindled but a little!

Alucard pulled out his guns as you and the girls got ready to fight with Anderson, who pulled out his bayonets! 

Anderson began to laugh in a disturbing manner, and Alucard followed with his own. 

(Y/N): OKAY! GET READY FOR A- 

Seras: Right this way, group B!

Seras popped up with a group of old tourists! 

Seras:  That's right! Right'n front'a everyone else! You're 80! You're used to it. We're going to look at art and paintings, which I believe are also art. I don't know! I'm Cockney! I'm uncultured!

Alucard: Welp, my boner's gone. 

Anderson: Aye, kind of a mood killer. 

Alucard: Wanna try this again some other time?

Anderson: Of course! Kill you later, ya monstrous heathen.

Alucard: You too, you Catholic sociopath. Whoops, tautology!

Both Alucard and Anderson took off. 

Weiss: Well, that was a close one. 

Ruby: Great work, Seras! 

(Y/N): So ... now what? 

Maxwell: Would you like some coffee? 

Integra: I'd love some. 

You all left Integra to her devices. 

Integra: So... the letter you sent never specified the purpose of this meeting.

Maxwell: Consider this a business transaction. I have two pieces of information that I wish to trade with you.

Integra: And what would those be?

Maxwell: The true identity of Millennium.

Integra: Who?

Maxwell: The organization who assailed your compound.

Integra: Oh yeah; there was some debate over that.

Maxwell: And the whereabouts of said Millennium.

Integra: And what could you possibly want in exchange?

Maxwell: Oh, nothing major. Just two simple apologies from you and your subordinate known as "TheCrimsonFuckr"! Also known as Alucard.

Integra: ...So you want an apology from me.

Maxwell: I figured, but didn't want to assume.

Integra: And, by chance, what would I have to apologize to the Iscariot Organization for?

Maxwell: Well, originally I'd ask you to apologize for being a scum-sucking, blaspheming, ignorant, Protestant pig sow! But in this case, the sins of your pet vampire are of greater concern.

Integra: What did he do this time?

https://youtu.be/_HVvgfFsU4k

Maxwell: Sooo ... about that apology? 

Integra: (giving a heavy sigh) I'm so- 

At the Hellsing Mansion... 

Integra: So, that's where they are. 

Walter: I see. Do you think Alucard and the others will go? 

Integra: Not as long as it's an order. 

Walter: I have an idea. 

Walter went to Alucard. 

Walter: Did you know you have vacation days? 

Alucard: I have vacation days!? You mean I can leave anytime I want and not get yelled at over the phone? Because seriously, it's always over the phone! Mostly because I don't like to argue with her in person. I get a boner. It's super awkward.

Walter: Quite. 

Alucard: Well, that settles it, I'm going traveling. 

Walter: Yes, you can go anywhere you wish... except for Brazil. Sir Integra was quite insistent that you never visit Brazil.

Alucard: Right, I'm taking the Kids, and the Police Girl. 

(Y/N): UGH! WE'RE NOT KIDS! 

In the Hellsing Private Jet... 

All of you were traveling in style to Brazil. 

Ruby: Wow, we're going to Brazil! This is going to be a blast! 

Weiss: After all, that's happened, this should be fun. 

Blake: Say, where's Seras? 

Alucard: Oh, she's downstairs. 

(Y/N): That's the cargo hold! 

Seras was trapped in a coffin in the cargo hold! 

Seras:  I have a fear of flying, coffins, and tight place-heess...!

Soon enough... 

You all landed in Brazil. 

https://youtu.be/jD7tOoERUMg

You all went to check in at the hotel. 

(Y/N): So, we want the penthouse. 

Hotel Clerk: I'm... sorry, sir. Mr. Chevy Chase currently has that room reserved.

Alucard: No, you heard what he said. 

He held out his hand. 

https://youtu.be/yluAlBcYjkU

Play from 0:10-0:25... 

(Y/N): Well, that solves that problem. 

Blake: So, you have hypnotism too? 

Alucard: Oh yeah, I can make him say whatever I want. Watch this. (to the clerk) White Chicks was amazing. 

Hotel Clerk: White Chicks was amazing. 

Alucard: See?

Yang: HA! 

Much later... 

You guys were being spied on. 

Spy: Scarlet Tampon to Sticky Sock. TheCrimsonFuckr has checked in. I repeat: TheCrimsonFuckr has checked in. Also, I'm choosing the goddamn nicknames next time!

Ruby: Alright! We get the penthouse! I love getting the penthouse! We get all the snacks and stuff! 

(Y/N): Well, let's kickback and relax then. 

Alucard: Hey, (Y/N), you mind want to stop telling that guy to stop spying on us? It's creepy. 

(Y/N): Oh, yeah, taht guy. 

Spy: SHIT SHIT SHIT! 

He runs off in fear. 

Ruby: I'll stop him! 

Ruby takes off. 

That night... 

Reporter: Shots fired from the penthouse suite on the top floor. The initial SWAT team has not reported back, leading officials to fear the worst. The terrorists inside comprimise of a young man with a Red Riding Hood-looking girl, a German aristocrat, some cat girl, a blonde brawler, a British Police Girl, and some Ozzy Osbourne-looking fellow. 

Integra saw the whole thing. 

Integra: ON THE PHONE! GET HIM ON THE PHONE! I WANT ALUCARD ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW! 

https://youtu.be/ZTJXW7JcSes

Just outside... 

Officer: So, we've sent like, 10 guys up, and we haven't heard back. Think everything's alright? 

???: Naturalmente, don't worry about it. Of course, everything's fine. 

Tubaclain Alhambra (Also known as the Dandy Man! He's a member of Millennium who is known for manipulation and smooth talking! Very good with poker cards! Voiced by AntFish!) 

Officer: Well ... no matter what, we're still going to get our immortality, right? 

Alhambra: Buddy, my friend, do I look like the kinda guy who would go back on an agreement? By the way... You may want to send more men.

Officer: Well, that sounds reasonable.