Scrambled Eggs!


Right now, you are helping Charlie and Vaggie put up a banner that reads "Happy first week, Sir Pentious!" 

(Y/N): How's that, Charlie? 

Charlie: That looks perfect! EEEE! I'm so excited that Sir Pentious is staying at the hotel! 

Vaggie: He was just trying to take over the city with his weird steampunk bullshit a few days ago. 

(Y/N): Well, I haven't seen him try to pull any of that here at the very least. 

Sunset then comes in. 

Sunset: We got a problem. 

(Y/N): What is it now? 

Sunset: Pentious is bringing in some crazy machine. 

(Y/N): What is that Snake Guy doing this time? 

Pentious was rolling in a new machine that the Egg Boiz were sitting on. 

Vaggie: What the hell is that? 

Sir Pentious: Oh, hello, friends! It's my new invention, the Skin Flyaer 11,000! I'm really looking forward to shooting the other residents. 

Charlie: What? Why? 

Sir Pentious: Everyone is being too nice. Obviously, it must be a lie. I can sense that they are planning to kill me, but when? How? I must be prepared! Ooh, the new parts of my machine are here.

Two girls came in, wheeling boxes of weapons. 

Odette 

Clara 

Odette: Sign here, please. 

Odette holds out a clipboard and Sir Pentious slithers over to sign it while Clara wheeled in the boxes. 

Odette: Thank you for your business, enjoy your Carmine purchase. 

Both of them walk out of the lobby as you inspect the supplies. 

(Y/N): Carmine? Who's that? 

Vaggie: Carmilla Carmine, she's the top weapons dealer in Hell. 

Twilight: Wait, so she's an overlord like the Vees then? 

Sir Pentious: Of course! Where else am I supposed to get the best weapons around? 

(Y/N): NOPE! NOPE NOPE NOPE! NO SIR! 

You grab the boxes and start dragging them off. 

Sir Pentious: HEY! 

(Y/N): You can't build weapons here! We're not trying to hurt you. 

Twilight: Exactly, we want you to feel welcome! 

Pentious looks at Vaggie who has a glare on her face. 

He then looks at Husk, who is downing another bottle of booze, and gives the Snake Boy the finger. Angel Dust does the same and proceeds to wink at you, which makes you shudder. Niffty is dusting in the corner and does a sinister-sounding giggle. 

Sir Pentious: I have my doubts. 

Vaggie: Well, you have to trust us. 

Sir Pentious: I really don't. 

Charlie: Oh! Why don't we focus on that for today's activities? 

Vaggie: Not before we lay some ground rules. No more building weapons, no more plotting against other guests, and you need to get rid of these things.

Vaggie pointed at the Egg Boiz, who were having a tug-of-war over a laser, and blow a hole in the roof by accident! 

(Y/N): OH COME ON! I JUST FIXED THAT! THEY HAVE TO GO! 

Sir Pentious: NO! NOT MY LITTLE EGG BOIZ! 

He hugs them protectively! 

Sir Pentious: THEY DO MY EVIL BIDDING FOR ME! 

Vaggie: Do you want to stay here and redeem yourself? 

Sir Pentious: Y-Yes. 

Vaggie: Then no more Eggs. 

He was on the verge of crying. 

Sir Pentious: All right, eggies. You've got to go. I can't keep you anymore! 

Egg Boiz: Okay, Boss. 

They all follow Vaggie as she helps you wheel away Sir Pentious' boxes. 

Sir Pentious: No, don't resist. This is how it has to be! 

He begins to cry and cry and cry as Twilight pats him on the head. 

Twilight: Aww, there there, it'll be okay, Pentious. 

You and Vaggie then come across Alastor, who is eating a deer carcass while jazz music plays. 

(Y/N): You really think we can have him do this? 

Vaggie: I don't see any other way. 

(Y/N): I don't want Alastor turning Pentious' minions into scrambled eggs! 

Alastor: Ahem, do you two mind? I'm in the middle of breakfast. 

(Y/N): Look, Vaggie says she thinks you should get rid of Pentious' eggs. 

Alastor: Oh well, in that case, I'd be delighted too! 

(Y/N) and Vaggie: HUMANELY! 

Alastor: Well, that's a lot less fun, but I suppose I can take care of that on my outing today. 

He walks out with the eggs following him. 

Vaggie: Well, that's one problem solved. 

(Y/N): Blegh, how can he be creepy and fancy at the same time? 

Back in the foyer... 

Everyone had gathered, except for Alastor. 

Charlie: Hi, guys. Thanks for coming! It's been brought to our attention that there may be a little tension in the hotel.

Sunset: Try a lot, we have one seriously messed-up actor, a grumpy, drunkard of a bartender, a cute and psychotic maid who kills any bug that moves, and now we got this snake who wants to build weapons of mass destruction. 

Sir Pentious: YOU CAN'T COMPREHEND MY GENIUS! 

He pulled out a death ray on Sunset and you smacked it out of his hands. 

(Y/N): That's why we're doing this exercise! 

Charlie: Not just any exercises! TRUST EXERCISES! 

Both Charlie and Vaggie jump up! 

Vaggie: TRUST EXERCISES! Ah, shit! 

Vaggie hits the floor and Charlie pulled her up to her feet. 

Charlie: Vaggie, we reheard this. 

Husk: So, what's with the hole, uhh this? I'm not about to put on some show for these fucking chumps. 

(Y/N): Yeah thanks, Husk. Really appreciate the kindness there. 

Angel Dust: Oh, I will. But it's cash up front, and I know that one can't afford me. 

Sir Pentious: GROSS! I'd never think of it, Spider! 

Twilight: Well, we can only hope. Charlie, you know what you're doing right? 

Charlie: Actually, I was thinking Vaggie could take the lead on this one. 

Vaggie: Me?! I don't know if I'm qualified to- 

Charlie: Oh, come on. It'll be easy! I'm sure you can handle this.

Vaggie took a deep breath and started to talk like a drill sergeant. 

Vaggie: All, right, so we are starting with trust falls! Each of you are going to share something vulnerable with the group about yourself and then fall backwards, while the rest of the group catches you. Got it? Who wants to go first?

Charlie: OOH! ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME! 

(Y/N): Ain't she a cutie? 

Vaggie: Okay, get on up here. 

Charlie goes onto the stage. 

Charlie: I, I love you guys. Like, really, really love you.

Sunset: Aww, Charlie! 

Charlie falls backward as you, Vaggie, Twilight, and Sunset catch her. 

Charlie: That ... felt ... good! Angel, why don't you go next? 

Angel Dust: Fine. 

He walked up onto stage. 

Vaggie: Okay, this time everyone needs to catch him, okay? Unless you want me to hurt you. 

Vaggie brought out her spear as a means of discipline, making the others come closer. 

(Y/N): Oh boy. Better do what she says, fellas! 

https://youtu.be/sLwO-UmchNY

Angel Dust: Okay, new guy, you're up. 

Sir Pentious makes a melodramatic entrance to teh stage! 

Sir Pentious: I ... don't want to live without my minions. Nobody catch me! 

You, Sunset, Twilight, Vaggie, and Charlie all catch him. 

Sunset: It'll be fine. 

Twilight: We're here for you. 

(Y/N): Blegh, you're slimy. My turn. 

You go up. 

(Y/N): I really really love my family, and I would do anything for them. 

You fall down as the girls catch you. 

Vaggie: That was great, good job. 

(Y/N): Thanks. Niffty! 

Niffty runs up! 

Niffty: 

https://youtu.be/l9wCAoR9iDc

Play from 0:01-end... 

Everyone else backs away as you are the only one who tries to catch her, and she slips through onto the ground. 

Niffty: YAY! PAIN! 

She keeps going back onto the stage and jumping off it. 

(Y/N): You're lucky you're still adorable. 

Charlie: I don't know if this is working the way we hoped. Maybe we should- 

Vaggie: Honey, you have to trust me, we'll figure something out. 

Twilight: Well, maybe either Sunset or I should go next when Niffty is done ... having her fun there. 

Angel Dust: Hey, if you're in the market for some ideas, I've got just the thing for trust buildin'. 

(Y/N): I swear to God, if this is a sex party. 

In Pentagram City... 

Alastor is walking down the street with the Egg Boiz following him. 

Egg Boi: Oh, boy! What's the plan, boss? I like your suit! What are the antlers for? Can I touch your staff thing? Are those your ears or is it your hair? I can't tell!

Alastor keeps his smile, but his eyes are twitching. 

And then a shadowy figure appears to greet him. 

Zestial (The oldest living overlord in Hell! He speaks in early modern English and is known to keep his anger in check! Most of the other sinners are terrified of him! Voiced by James Monroe Iglehart! (Who played the Lion in the Wiz Musical, Genie in Aladdin the Musical, and even Oogie Boogie in Nightmare Before Christmas!)) 

Zestial: Hark, Alastor. How fare thee this day?

Egg Boi: Who's that boss? You want me to rough him up for you? 

Alastor: Follow in silence if you value your shell! 

Alastor pushes the Egg Boi away with his cane. 

Alastor: Salutations, Zestial. 

Most of the demons around back away the moment they see Zestial. 

Zestial: Ah, the weather doth become this fine day. 

Alastor: Indeed, looks like we might have some acid rain this afternoon. 

One Demon who sees Zestial pours gas over himself and sets himself on fire!

Zestial: If our luck doth hold! I do revel in the screams. How art thou?  It has been an age since thou hath graced us with thy presence. Some hath spun wild tales of you falling to... holy arms.

Alastor: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, I just took a well-earned sabbatical, nothing serious. (adjusts his bow tie and coat) Though it's fun to keep everyone on their toes! 

Zestial: Hahaha. There too hath been rumor of thy involvement with the princess and her recent flight of fancy. Tell me, how dost thou fall in such folly? 

Alastor: This is for me to know, but please, do guess. I'd love to know the theories. 

Zestial: T'would be grander folly by far to assume the workings of your mind, Alastor. Thou hath been naught but an enigma since thy manifested in this realm!

Alastor: Coming from someone as ancient as you, I take that as a compliment. 

The two walk to a building where a bunch of elevators are. The Egg Boiz try to get into one of the elevators, but Alastor stops them. 

Alastor: No, no. I have a very important task for you. Stay here and guard the front until I return. 

The Egg Boiz salute Alastor and stand guard. 

But then one of them notices another Egg Boi had hitched a ride with Alastor and Zestial. 

Egg Boi: Hey! Frank is up there. 

Egg Boi #2: We have names? 

The lift reaches the top where Alastor, Zestial, and Frank the Egg Boi see a bunch of Overlords coming into a meeting room. 

At the head is Carmilla Carmine. 

Carmilla Carmine (One of the many overlords in Hell! She's the top weapons dealer! She is very good friends with Zestial and will not let anyone talk shit about him! Very protective of Odette and Clara, who are her daughters! Voiced by Daphne Rubin-Vega!) 

Carmilla: Welcome, Hell's sovereign overlords. I've invited you all here because you represent the controlling powers of our city. Together, you own millions of souls. Souls at risk with the new Extermination schedule.

She pounds her fist on the table. 

Carmilla: We need to discuss what can be done to minimize the impact of our interest. Zestial, good to see you, my friend. 

Zestial: Enchanted as always, Carmilla. 

Carmilla: Alastor? 

Alastor: Yes, I know I've been absent for some time. I'm sure you've all been wondering. 

Carmilla: Not really, but welcome back in any case. 

Alastor narrowed his eyes at Carmilla, as if he were offended. 

Carmilla: This year's Extermination was brutal, far more even than years past. We have assessed that about 16% of the population was lost. With the angelic legions now returning twice as quickly, I think it prudent we-

At that moment, Velvette enters the room. 

Velvete: Yes, I've got it handled, Vox. Are you doubting me? Really? Me? That's what I thought. HAHAHAHAHAHA! I know, they're all a joke. Thank you, V. See you soon, kisses, darling. 

She hangs up and looks at Carmilla. 

Carmilla: Nice of you to join us, Velvete. Will your ... colleagues be joining? 

Velvette: No, they have better shit to do than to listen to an old windbag who thinks she's tough shit. I'm here to represent them. 

Carmilla: Charming. So, as I was saying, we need to discuss- 

Velvette: AHEM! 

Carmilla: Yes? 

Velvette: On the subject of discussion. 

She brings out the head of an angel and places it on the table, with all the overlords shocked and they started murmuring! 

Alastor: Oh! Tasy! 

Carmilla: Where did you get this? 

Carmilla was very appalled, most of all. 

Velvette: We found it during Extermination Day. If these Holy Rollers can be killed, the game has changed. We can take the fight to them! The boys and I have come up with a full assault plan- 

Zestial: If it be true thee and thy colleagues desire to war with such meagre proof, thou art far more... foolish than I bethought.

Velvette: Meagre proof? It's a dead fucking Exorcist. I'd say that's pretty fucking definitive. You going blind, old man?

Zestial: We know not how this perished. Mayhaps t'was not by a demon's hand at all. If we rush to war without knowing, mightn't they purge all of Hell for daring an uprising?


Velvette: Oh, I get it. So Grandpa is too pussy to fight, so I guess there's no point, right? 

She starts getting up in Zestial's face, but he refuses to answer. 

https://youtu.be/bOarXIWBtWk

Velvette: Hm, fine. Safe travels back to the nursing home, fuckers! 

She walks out. 

Velvette: Kiss my arse! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 

Odette: Mother? 

The overlords get up and start leaving back to the lift, leaving Carmilla, Odette, Clara, and Zestial left. 

Alastor notices this. 

Alastor: You, little egg creature. I have a job for you. 

Frank: What is it Boss? 

Alastor: Follow them! 

Frank salutes and goes to spy on Carmilla and Zestial. 


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