Rei, the Voracious Alien!/Lum Joins the Harem!


You were out searching for Lum like crazy. 

(Y/N): I FUCKED IT UP! I FUCKED IT ALL UP! I should have been understanding and patient with Lum! But I snapped and- I HAVE TO SET THINGS RIGHT! I NEED TO HELP HER! SHE- 

???: Lum, why can't you just come back with me? 

Lum: I SAID GET AWAY! I CAN'T STAND YOU! WHY DO YOU THINK I DUMPED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU MORON?! 

???: And you'd rather be with someone who doesn't appreciate you? 

Lum: I- Darling ... He- 

???: He's no good for you Lum. 

(Y/N): What the hell is this?! 

You saw Lum being restrained by another Oni! 

Rei (Lum's former fiance! He's a moron who has a love for eating, and when angered turns into a giant monster!) 

Lum: DARLING! I'm sorry, you were right, it's my fault that you got upset. 

(Y/N): No, Lum, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. Even if you were clingy, I should have been more kind. I- 

Rei: It doesn't matter. Because Lum is coming back with me. 

(Y/N): Dude, take a hint, she doesn't love you! If you really love Lum, then you have to understand that her happiness is more important than your own! 

Lum: (blushing and smiling) Awww ... Darling! 

(Y/N): It's okay Lum, I'm taking you back home. 

Rei: Not on your life, Monkey. 

(Y/N): Oh, what are you going to do about it? 

He pulled out a laser gun. 

Rei: In a couple of seconds, I'll shoot you d- 

He noticed the gun was gone. 

Rei: WHAT?! 

(Y/N): Nice try. 

Rei: How did he- It's like he stopped time! 

(Y/N): I can stop time. 

Rei: Wait, how- 

(Y/N): I can also read minds you know. 

Rei: GRRR! YOU'RE DEAD MEAT, YOU BASTARD! 

He transformed into a giant tiger-like horned monster! 

(Y/N): Wow, you're ugly. Seriously, Vegeta was better looking in his Oozaru form! And he's not as much of an asshole as you are! 

Rei roared at you, but you stood your ground, and- 

(Y/N): Cute. Now, get a taste of this. 

You used your Conqueror's Haki to glare at Rei, and he was so terrified of you that he was gone in a mere second. 

(Y/N): What a moron. 

Lum then tackled you and kissed you. 

Lum: Darling! You came back for me! You do care about me! 

(Y/N): I do! Lum, I'm really sorry, I- 

Lum: No, I'm sorry. It's my fault. I promise I'll keep my space. If you still love me, and never take me for granted, that's all that matters. 

(Y/N): I do love you, Lum. 

Lum: (blushing) Me too ... my Darling. 

You both kissed, and you both held hands, while walking back home. 


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