The wild animals were attacking, but you had backup from Team RWBY, Ranko, and Akane!

Akane: EAT THIS!

Akane bashed a gorilla on the head with a palm tree!

Ruby: Wow! Akane, that's amazing!

Akane: Thanks Ruby! BEHIND YOU!

Ruby: AGH!

Ruby roundhouse kicked a tiger in the jaw and then slammed the hilt of Crescent Rose on it!

Yang: Nice one Little Sister! Heh animals! Tell that principal that I'm keeping my hair the way it is!

She dropkicked a Jaguar, only for a ... mask to fall off.

Yang: Hey, these guys aren't animals!

(Y/N): You're right!

You pulled off a gorilla mask.

Ukyō: They're teachers!

Weiss: WHY THAT LOWDOWN DIRTY-

Teachers: We're so sorry! He forced us to do this!

Blake: I swear, how did he get this job?

(Y/N): Hmm ... we need to get in close without him knowing. Hey Ranko!

Ranko: What? What are you? Oh no! I'm not doing that! You can't ma-

She saw Akane crushing a coconut.

Akane: How about now?

Ranko: On second thought.

Ukyo: You can do it Ran-Chan, I believe in you!

Ranko: Uh ... thanks ... Ukyo.

Soon...

The Principal was lazing around playing his ukulele.

Principal: (singing) Oh there's plenty more traps! Wiki wiki wiki!

Then someone washes up close to him!

It was Ranko.

Principal: Aloha! You okay dere Wahini?

He tried to shave her hair, but she kicked him.

Ranko: I'm not one of your students!

She then got teary eyed.

Ranko: The thing is, I come from a neighboring island. And I'm looking for a certain coconut to help my father. You see, he's very sick!

Principal: Oh. He must have this coconut?

Ranko: Yes, one with a parchment inside.

He started to cry.

Principal: What a sweet child you are!

Ranko: Are you okay?

Principal: Sorry, I was just remembering my son.

Ranko: Your son?

Principal: He's been missing for three years. Alright child, I help you!

Ranko: You'll give me the coconut?

Principal: No, I go with you on da search for da very special coconut.

Ranko: YOU DON'T HAVE IT?!

Principal: Me one big dumb Kahuna, I forgot where it is!

Ranko: OH FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING HELL!

Meanwhile...

(Y/N): Okay, keep breaking coconuts!

Yang: At this point, we'll have enough for so many piña coladas!

Ruby: Oh I could go for one right now!

Akane: (panting) (Y/N) it has to be somewhere else! We're running out!

(Y/N): Sheesh, this dick really is playing hard to get!

Ukyo: Maybe it's this one!

Ukyo brought out a coconut, and you checked it.

(Y/N): Hey! I think this is-

KABOOM...

You were covered in soot from the explosion!

(Y/N): I HATE THAT NUTTY PRINCIPAL!!!

You went SSJ as you said that!

(Y/N): OKAY, CHANGE OF PLANS, WE GANG UP ON HIM AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM UNTIL HE TELLS US WHERE IT IS!!

Weiss and Yang: HELL YEAH!!

Blake: But how do we know he'll talk.

(Y/N): He can't be as hard-headed as Kuno.

You pointed to Kuno slicing at man-eating plants!

Kuno: VILE PRINCIPAL! HE WILL PAY!

The Principal then swung by on a vine.

Principal: Catch me if you can, Keiki!

Ruby: Hey! You're not Tarzan you imposter! And we know the guy!

Ranko then punched him, causing him to fall!

(Y/N): Good job Ranko!

Ranko: Heh, it was surprisingly easy!

Principal: Sweet child, how could you?

Weiss: You're delusional if you thought she was on your side.

Principal: Well too bad that I forgot where I hid it!

(Y/N): Yang!

Yang: KAIOKEN TIMES 5000!!!

She then lifted her fist to bash him on the head.

Principal: Ah! Suddenly da Kahuna remembers! Pull that rope Wahini!

Yang: Huh?

Yang pulled a nearby rope.

And out came a picture of a kid with a shaved head.

Student: Who's that?

Principal: My son, he's been missing for three years. If you help me find him, I tell you where the coconut is.

Ruby: (crying) YOU POOR MAN!

Weiss: Ruby, I love you very much, but ... don't be a dolt. We can't trust him! He's probably going to pull a fast one!

Blake: And besides, how can we find him?

(Y/N): Hmm ... let me think.

You looked at the picture and-

(Y/N): KUNO?!

Students: UPPERCLASSMAN KUNO?!

Weiss: HE'S THIS WHACKJOB'S SON?! Actually, that makes a lot of sense.

Ruby: I'll find him!

Ruby took off and-

Kuno: RUBY MY LOVE, COME INTO MY ARMS!

(Y/N): PERFECT!

You knocked him out!

(Y/N): Found him!

Principal Kuno inspected his son.

Principal: Nope, dis ain't my son!

(Y/N): WHAT?! But he looks just like him! What's his name?

Principal: Tatewaki.

Blake: Then it is him. He's Tatewaki Kuno!

Principal: No, he was only 14.

Students: THAT WAS THREE YEARS AGO!

Ukyo: He really is Kuno's father.

Weiss: Suddenly Kodachi's personality makes a whole lot of sense as well.

Principal: Let's buzz da brudda's hair.

Kuno then woke up!

Kuno: YOU! I WILL NOT LET YOU TOUCH MY HAIR!

Akane: Kuno, is he your father?

Kuno looked at his father.

Kuno: My father disappeared three years ago, and ...

He looked at a photo of his dad.

Kuno: My father's skin wasn't tan!

Yang: He was in Hawaii!

Ranko: He had to get a tan some time.

Blake: You really are stupid, Kuno.

Kuno: EAT THIS!

But Principal Kuno shredded Kuno's wooden sword with his razors!

(Y/N): Wow, how refined.

Kuno: Th-That technique ... it's the Wooden Sword Shredder!

Principal: YOU KNOW THE NAME OF THIS TECHNIQUE?!

Kuno: That means-

Principal: You're-

Kuno: FATHER!!

Principal: TAICCHI!!

The two ran to supposedly hug each other.

(Y/N): They both need professional help.

Kuno: NOW I WILL PAY YOU BACK FOR NEARLY SHAVING MY HEAD, FATHER!

You bashed Kuno on the head.

(Y/N): Okay, we found your son. Now where's the coconut?

Principal: I drew a map on the back of Taicchi's head three years ago with special ink, so that should you where it is.

(Y/N): OH COME ON! THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL YOU PLANNED THIS OUT YEARS AGO!!!

Ruby: But how do we do that? Do we force Kuno down? And-

Ranko: Hang on. OH KUNO!

Kuno: PIG TAILED GIRL!

He got up again.

(Y/N): God damn idiot is so dense when it comes to his crushes.

Ranko: You know I have a thing for guys with shaved heads. They turn me on. This is really hurting my pride.

Akane: That's actually a smart idea.

Ukyo: Atta .. boy ... girl ... boy girl, Ran-Chan!

Kuno: I'm sorry Pig Tailed Girl, but I can't!

Ranko: Say it ain't so, Kuno! I've always dreamed of seeing your scalp naked! Going here and there and-

Kuno: In that case-

Kuno grabbed Ranko in a romantic position and tried to kiss her.

(Y/N): Change of plans!

You knocked Kuno on the head and prepared to chop his hair off!

(Y/N): GET READY FOR THR WORDT HAIRCUT EV- No, you know what?!

Everyone: (Y/N)?

(Y/N): Don't you get it?! The principal is playing with us! He's making us go in circles! He's not going to give us the coconut no matter what! Let's just beat the crap out of him, and tie him up, and punish him!

Everyone: Hey! He's right! Yeah, we can't do this to Kuno! He may be an idiot, but he's a victim too!

(Y/N): Guess it's time to beat another shitty father up! Let's go!

You lead everyone to confront Principal Kuno for good!