We open up in a spaceship where you, Ruby, Weiss, Blake, Yang, Gohan, Krillin, Roshi, Oolong, and Yajirobe are inside. 

Gohan: Hey Uncle (Y/N), you've been there. What's it like on New Namek? 

(Y/N): Well, it's basically like the original Namek, except there are more trees. At least in the place that I saw. We'll be sure to look around when we leave. 

Weiss: So, Dende said that he sensed something was wrong with New Namek, but what exactly. 

(Y/N): Beats me. He didn't know. 

Ruby: I hope it's nothing too bad. Because last time we went to a Namek, well, Krillin had it really bad. 

Krillin: Yeah, this time I should be lucky that I don't get beaten up ... or stabbed ... or exploded. 

Yang: And all that happened to you on Namek. By the way, why are these three here. 

Yang pointed over to Oolong, Yajirobe, and Roshi. 

(Y/N): Well, Oolong came along because Bulma wanted me to discipline him for taking the Dragon Radar and dragging Gohan along on a trap to get the Dragon Balls. 

Oolong: I SAID I WAS SORRY ALREADY! 

(Y/N): Not good enough, Oolong. Master Roshi, because well- 

Roshi: What do you think? I want to see if there are any sexy Namekian ladies! 

Ruby: But Master, Namekians are a male species. There are no females. They reproduce via eggs coming out of the- I don't know why I'm explaining this. 

Yajirobe: I'm just looking forward to some time away from Korin. 

Blake: Have you two been arguing again, because I notice a distinct lack of cat hair on you. And I should know. 

Yajirobe went to scarfing down his food over and over. 

Gohan: What about Piccolo? 

(Y/N): PIccolo? He's just meditating to himself. 

Nail: So, haven't been home in a while have you Kami? 

Kami: About 500 years, give or take. 

Piccolo: Eh, you're not missing much. 

Kami: Oh please, unlike you, I actually have some memory of our planet. Beautiful blue landscapes, and our wonderful thriving culture. 

The ship then approached New Namek. 

Oolong: Uh, guys? Can a planet get cancer? 

Krillin: That's a weird question, why do- WHOA! 

You all saw New Namek with something attached to it! 

Yang: WOW THAT'S HUGE! 

Roshi: If it needs some inspecting, I'm your man! I've done my share of mammograms in my day, if you catch my drift! 

Weiss: Master, that's disgusting. 

Oolong: When I do them, they're called mammograms. 

Yajirobe: That'll do, pig. 

Ruby: I think someone should probably tell Piccolo. 

Piccolo: Someone should tell Piccolo whaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! 

Piccolo was just as shocked as the others when he saw the big thing! 

On New Namek... 

The Namekians were chained and being ordered around by giant robots. 

Robot: BEEP. 

One of them soon broke free! 

Namekian: THAT"S IT! ENOUGH OF THIS! TIME TO FUCK SOME FACES! 

He charged at the robots, but one of them restrained him easily! 

Namekian: OH NO MY FACE! 

Mouri: NO PLEASE! HE'S JUST A BOY! HE KNOWS NOT WHAT HE DOES! 

Robot: BEEP. 

Mouri: You're so cruel. 

The robots fired blasts, but- 

(Y/N) and Gohan: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! 

You and Gohan appeared in SSJ2 states and destroyed the robots! 

Mouri: It's you, people! 

(Y/N): Long time no see. 

Ruby: Sup! 

A whole bunch of robots appeared. 

(Y/N): Listen here, if you don't leave this planet right now, my friends and I will have to destroy you. You got that? 

Robot: Beep. 

Krillin: THAT ONE'S ASKING FOR IT! 

Ruby: Why are you guys even here? 

Robot: Beep. 

(Y/N): Huh? 

???: I believe they are referring to me. 

A familiar face appeared! 

The robots cheered for Cooler! 

Metal Cooler: Thank you, thank you, you're too kind. 

Robot: Beep. 

Metal Cooler: And you're just brown-nosing. 

Ruby: IT'S COOLER! 

(Y/N): Great, not this guy again. 

Metal Cooler: Yes I have returned, Dumbass. 

Ruby: Ruby. 

Metal Cooler: Dumbass. With the help of the Big Gete Star. 

Yang: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 

Metal Cooler: Thanks to it, I have been reborn with this new dynamic, metal form. With ti, we have entrapped this planet. And now we are going to fuck it! Both figuratively ... 

A quick cut showed the Big Gete Star drilling into New Namek. 

Metal Cooler: And very literally... 

Weiss: You know just because it can't reject you, doesn't imply consent. 

Metal Cooler: Now what say you? 

Piccolo: Frieza did it. 

Metal Cooler: Excuse you? 

Blake: The robot thing, Frieza did it. When he came down to Earth. 

Metal Cooler: But that's not the same, I- 

(Y/N): After he took over Namek, like you're doing right now. 

Metal Cooler: Wait, he destroyed Namek! 

Gohan: Well, this is New Namek. 

Metal Cooler: SO IT'S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! 

Yang: Yeah, about as different as you are from Frieza. 

Krillin: Shots fired! 

Metal Cooler: Kill the Bald One. 

The robots then charged at the Z-Fighers! 

Krillin: Frieza did it. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! 

You guys started to fight with the robots as Yajirobe, Oolong, and Roshi were seen cornered. 

Oolong: I'm gonna die on an alien planet! Dammit, I'm becoming Krillin!

Yajirobe: Calm your tits, scrabo-breath. Master Roshi's got this one.

Roshi: Actually, do you know where I can find the bathroom? 

Both Yajirobe and Oolong fell down at that as they were soon dragged off in nets! 

Oolong: Hey, Master Roshi! What if you try giving 'em the clap, you jackass?!

As everyone was preoccupied with Cooler's army of robots, you were fighting with the Frost Demon himself! 

(Y/N): KAIOKEN TIMES 5,000,000! 

You punched at him over and over, but he took no damage! 

(Y/N): WHAT THE HELL?! You're so residual! 

Metal Cooler: That would be because of my new body. 

(Y/N): Because of the Big Gete Star? 

Metal Cooler: Not signifying that. Look why don't you just turn Super Saiyan? Then we can get serious. 

(Y/N): I'll do that if you do that mask face thing you did on Earth. 

Metal Cooler: Good suggestion. But I got a better one. I want to wipe that thing off your face. 

(Y/N): What? 

Metal Cooler: MY FIST! 

He punched you! 

(Y/N): AGH! FINE! 

You went SSJ3! 

(Y/N): Let's do this!