The Menace of King Croacus!


You all continued went underground into the Floro Caverns, where Blake heard a noise. 

Blake: Hey, what's that? 

???: "Coming to you live...from the foul darkness that the Floro Sapiens call home. Lesser Cragnons would weep softly. No one has set foot in this cave and emerged alive. But some make history with sheer gall and willpower...and Flint Cragley is such a man!"

Pyrrha: It sounds like someone is doing a show. 

You all go to see a man. 

https://youtu.be/CQgaZ1OSTQc

Flint Cragley: CRAGLEY HO! "Into the Floro Sapiens Cave of Doom! A Flint Cragley Cragtrotting Adventure!" ...No, no, wait a second. That'll never play well in the sticks. How about... CRAGLEY HO! "Taste Danger! Flint Cragley Vs. a Recragginated Mummy in Floro Sapiens Central!" I wonder if that'll test well with the weekend auidence... Those Cragnons are fickle...


(Y/N): Uh ... Sir? 

He then turned his attention to you all. 

Flint Cragley: CRAGELY HO! "Suddenly...out of the cave mists...mysterious, slavering creatures lurched into view! Did they hope to dine on the fillet of Cragley? Would our hero meet their mandibles? Tune in after this brief commercial break to reach the torrid conclusion!"

Weiss: Great, this guy is a nutjob. 

Nora: Oh, can he talk about the "Cute Hammer-Wielding Girl who destroys said monsters?" 

Rin: Nora, don't get any ideas. 


Nora: Aw man. 

Flint Cragley: Great, cut, print, weap it. What do you dolts want? 

Ruby: Hey, that's Weiss' word! 

Weiss: (facepalm) Yeah, we know that. 

Tippi: We're looking for something called the Pure Heart. 

Flint Cragley: Pure Heart? Spectacular. Just fabulous! All-time coincidence, that's what this is! Just great to meet fellow adventurers, really, it is. I'm ecstatic about this.

Ruby: Mr. Cragley- 

Flint Cragley: Call me Flint. 

Ruby: Okay. Flint, why were you talking to yourself? Are you filming a show? 

Flint Cragley: Yes. You may know me from "Flint Cragley, Cragtrotter," which airs weekly on crag-vision. That's why I pretended to be kidnapped! I'm filming another epic show! Unfortunately, my idiot crew wandered off somewhere... So unprofessional.

Blake: What happened to your crew? 

Flint Cragley: I turned away for a second, and they vanished into the foul blackness of this cave... The worst part is, they have the key that'll get me deeper into this infernal abyss! You there! If you run into my crew, tell them I'm waiting and stomping impatiently! Pure adventure personified thanks you kindly!

(Y/N): Well, we'll do what we can! 

Bowser: Do we have to? 

(Y/N): We're going to need his help if we're going to find the Floro Sapiens and where they've taken the Cragnons! 

After a while.. 

You all went deeper into the cave, running into more Floro Sapiens, and taking them out quickly, only to find a guy with a camera.

Crew Member: Hey. You not mind controlled? You escape from "Processing Center", brah? Monzo maybe ought to take director there. Maybe sprout on head mellow him out...

Jeanne: Hey, you must be one of Flint's men. He's looking everywhere for you! 

Monzo: You know the director? 

Everyone: Yes. 

Monzo: So that where he was... Aww... He told Monzo, "Wait here!" But Monzo bet he forgot one second later. Job of Monzo really lame. Thanks, brah. Monzo head back now.


He the takes off. 

After a while... 

Ruby: WHEE! 

You all were riding on a minecart through the caverns! 

(Y/N): THIS IS AWESOME! IT'S LIKE A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE! 

Bowser: Please, I have a better one at my castle with rocket boosters. 

Pyrrha: Where do you get the money to afford that? 

Bowser: I have Roman handle that. 

(Y/N): That makes sense. 

And so... 

You all found a man with a microphone. 

Crew Member 2: Whoa! Where in Crag you guys come from? ...Serious. Who are you, brah?

Tippi: You're one of Flint's crew? He's looking for you. 

Crew Member 2: You know where director is? 

Everyone: Yes. 

Hornfels: Thanks. Hornfels head back now. But first... You see other crew Cragnons? With little sprout on top of head? Floro Sapiens using sprouts to mind-control Cragnons... They see you, they attack! Don't let guard down, brah! Crag you later!

Hornfels then takes off. 

(Y/N): Mind-control?! Yikes! We better keep moving! And no attacking them. 

Peach: That goes for you, Bowser. 

Bowser: Yeah yeah. 

After a while... 

You all return to see Flint and his crew talking amongst themselves. 

Flint Cragley: "In a miraculous turn of events, I was reunited with my faithful my faithful camera Cragnons." "But there was no time for celebration! We had to swoop to the aid of the kidnapped! With danger nibbling our heels, we ventured deeper into the forbidding cave... To do so, we used the key to the last unopened door in the forsaken labyrinth!"


He then turned his attention to Monzo. 

Flint Cragley: So, um... You do have the key, right? Lemme grab that.

Monzo: Whuzzat?! You cragging me? You never gave key...

Flint Cragley: Oh. Hmmm... Really?


Hornfels: Whuh? What? Key?

Flint Cragley: Yes, genius, a key. Wait... Don't tell me you don't have it either!

Hornfels: Uh, yah, brah, had key, but...

Flint Cragley: Ah, yes, so you DO have it! Good show, good show, yes. Give it here. Quickly, now.

Hornfels: No, brah... HAD key but not HAVE key...

Flint Cragley: You... You LOST it?! "A tragic crew blunder ruins Cragley! Had the gods of adventure forsaken us?!"

Hornfels: Nah, brah! See... Cragley say, "You lose this, so Cragley hold on to it." Cragley got key, brah...

Flint Cragley: Preposterous! If such a claim were true, there would be evidence in my pocket, which there ISN'T.


He checked his pockets and soon found the key. 

Flint Cragley: CRAGELY HO! "A miracle struck! As if by magic, the long-lost key had returned to my pocket! The cave defied Cragnon comprehension! It was a place of purest miracles!"


His crew start talking behind his back about how he's full of himself. 

Flint Cragley: Lucky turn of events, finding that key... I'm sure everyone contributed somehow. Now, onward! We must make our way to the last unopened door to the horrid depths... If my research is correct, and it always is, then this key should open that door. Of course, through the door may lie a trap that will devour us all... Ho ho HO!


(Y/N): Hey Flint, mind if we take the lead on this one? 

Flint Cragley: Hmm ... since you seem so passionate, not that I'm afraid of anything, don't be ridiculous, I mean that's laughable. I know the heady thrill of the hunt! I'll yield to your lead. 

(Y/N): Thanks! Okay, follow me everyone! 

You all went deeper into the Floro Caverns... 

And Flint just kept going on about his show and everything. 

Though, they seemed to move on without noticing you all were far ahead. 

Weiss: Geez, I thought he wouldn't stop talking. 

(Y/N): Yeah, but at last we don't have to deal with- 

???: Ahahah! So at long last, you've come to play like late-sleeping toddlers! 

Dimentio and O'Chunks appeared. 

(Y/N): Damn it, I spoke too soon. 

Dimentio: Ahhhhhhhh... Do you not tire of collecting those worn-out, tiresome Pure Hearts? I am not violent by nature, you know. I'd prefer to settle this peacefully, in fact. Say, for instance, you wished to go back to your world. I could do that for you...

Tippi: We are NOT interested!


Ruby: Yeah, why would we make a deal with you guys? 

Dimentio: I see, so shall we begin? 

He brought you all back to Dimension D. 

Blake: This again? It's getting old. 

Pyrrha: No matter what you do, we'll still win. 

Dimentio: My, my. Aren't you plucky? Same fight, same outcome... You are precisely correct. And...that...is...why...


Dimentio snapped his fingers and a sprout appeared on O'Chunks' forehead. 

O'Chunks: BRO-CCOLI! 

Dimentio: Lovely green hat, wouldn't you say? 

Peach: Wait... what did you just ... do? 

Dimentio: Dear O'Chunks! So strong, yet so very dim! A child could learn his attack patterns. As such, I requested a few sprouts from my acquaintance to liven him up a touch. I call the boy "O'Cabbage"! Don't be shy, O'Cabbage! Introduce yourself!

O'Cabbage: CAB-BAGE!

Dimentio: Ah ha ha. Simply adorable. Now remember, kids: eat your vegetables to grow big! Except in this case, a veggie will eat YOU! Have fun, now! Ciao!


He then left. 

O'Cabbage: AS-PARA-GUS!

He charged in a rage as he knocked you guys over! 

Everyone: WHOA! 

Bowser: How did- 

(Y/N): He's faster alright! But we just need to get that sprout off! 

You all kept dodging over and over again as Ruby, Weiss, and Blake, unleashed a bunch of Air Strikes onto O'Cabbage, causing him to slow down, and then Pyrrha noticed some metals nearby, and managed to bind O'Cabbage down long enough for Nora, Rin, and Jeanne to hit him with some attacks from their weapons, and- 

(Y/N): Here goes! 

Peach and Bowser backed you up long enough for you to pull the sprout off! 

O'Chunks: 'Ey! What in gravy am I doin' in 'ere?! Hunh? An' what are you doing' in 'ere as well?! Oh, I get the picture! You lot want teh challenge the new, improved O'Chunks! Yeh got pepper in yer pants, I'll give yeh that! But this time, yeh WILL get ruined!

Then his stomach growls. 

O'Chunks: Whuh-oh... Me belly's growlin' like a starvin' dog! Warrior rule, number one: "Never fight on an empty stomach! 'Tis madness!" Sorry, but we've got teh call it a day! Can't go buckin' the warrior rules! Next time, though, yer DONE! Chunks away!

He then takes off. 

(Y/N): Hmm ... I wonder if we can do something with this. 

Later... 

You all walked into a room where King Croacus was in. 

King Craocus: Oooooo-wee-oooo! Where, oh, where are my pretties? 

King Croacus 

https://youtu.be/1gIL3ruCF3M

(Y/N): Hey, are you King Croacus? 

King Croacus: ...Ooo? What is THIS hideous, clashing thing?


Girls: HEY! DON'T CALL OUR MAN UGLY! 

(Y/N): Easy now. We're here about the Cragnons. 

King Croacus: Ooooo-weeeee-oooooooooo! So you must be the intruders I've heard SO much about... Well, I will NOT forgive the great trashening of my beautiful kingdom! NOO-WEE-OO!

(Y/N): Look just let them go! 

King Croacus: NEVER! Their sturdy bodies make them SUCH fine workers. Exquisite! I need them to dig up more gems so I can build a bejeweled palace. Ooo-weee!

Tippi: Why, how positively horrid... Release them this instant!

King Croacus: Trash is garbage, no matter how you dress it. This world is made for BEAUUUUUTY! And if you need some proof...then have a look at this!


He pulled out the next Pure Heart, which was dark blue. 

Everyone: THE PURE HEART! 

King Croacus: I can hear it in your voice... You want it SO badly, you can barely think, mmmmmm? Seems we all seek beauty... So how DARE you take a high horse over me?!


Tippi: Don't compare us to you! 

Ruby: Yeah, we're nothing like you! 

King Croacus: Your blabber hurts my ears! And your smell is wilting me! I can stand you no longer. I rarely stoop to such things, but I'll destroy you myself. Consider it an honor!

He begins to attack with his vines as you and Bowser start to use flames to burn them up! 

Then his petals become razor sharp and try to cut you all down, however- 


Ruby and Pyrrha: AVAN STRASH! 

The two cut King Croacus down, and he wilts. 

King Croacus: Beauuuuuu...tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiful... Even as I wilt... I am... I am...BEEEEEAUUUUUTIIIIIIFUUUL!

???: KING CROACUS! 

Some Floro Sapiens appear. 

Red Floro Sapien: What... WHOA! What did you guys DO, huh?

Tippi: We have defeated your king. Get over it...

Red Floro Sapien: Hey, shut up! You don't get it at all!

Yellow Floro Sapien: King Croacus was awesome! He totally thought of his people first, man! And you... You wilted him!


(Y/N): Huh? What do you mean? 

Red Floro Sapien: WATER, man! I'm talking about WATER! The Cragnons were polluting our water! Those dudes were tossing trash into the river! We had to DRINK that crud!


(Y/N): Ooo. 

Yellow Floro Sapien: That dirty water was what drove our king bonkers, don'tcha get it?


Ruby: Ouch. So, the Cragnons drew first blood. 

???: Of course! 

Flint and his crew arrived. 

Flint Cragley: So the villagers throwing garbage in the river was the reason for this whole thing? Well... I tried to tell those guys, but my thoughts were too far ahead of their time...

Hornfels: This play well with green Cragnon crowd...

Monzo: Ratings EXPLODE, brah! It like "Crags on Ice" meets "Baron von Craggington"!

Flint Cragley: Yes, once my fellow villagers see this, they'll surely realize the error of their ways. Once the words of Flint Cragley reach them, they'll throw garbage no more!

Yellow Floro Sapien: Yeah, water, man... I mean, it's EASILY our most precious treasure, know what I mean? You promise not to dirty our water and we'll just chill down here and be cool. And we'll totally take those sprouts off your villagers' noggins too, man.


Blake: We can only hope it will last. 

(Y/N): Eh, I'm sure they'll understand. 

Tippi: Though this was unexpected. 

Red Floro Sapien: Whaling on our king aside, you guys are totally heroes... You should take this. One of our earliest kings received this to safeguard until the heroes' arrival. Our people have kept that promise for, like, 1,500 years or something crazy like that... I'm sure our wilted king here would be stoked that this duty got done.


They then hand over the Dark Blue Pure Heart! 

Bowser: Well, that makes 6, right? 

(Y/N): That's right! Only two more left! We're nearly there! 

At Count Bleck's Castle... 

O'Chunks: (singing) Raise yer chunks in the air, as the most debonair man o' men strides into the room! Springin' forth from 'is lair as 'is foes all despair, for Bleck be the name o' their doom! Whooa-OH! That's our Bleck! Blecky, Bleckity, DOOOO! Yeh, uh, somethin' Bleck... That's the guy who says... woo? 

Mimi then stormed in. 

Mimi: O'CHUNKS SHUT UP! What are you even doing? 

Nastasia: Oh, that? Yeah, I just had O'Chunks come up with a nice motivational tune. And as punishment for getting beat by that hero AGAIN, I'm making him sing it 1,000 times.

Mimi: 1,000... 1,000 TIMES?! Gosh, you're even more evil than I thought! Hey, but enough chatting! So where's the count, huh? I wanna see him! He hasn't called me to go do anything, and I'm getting SOOOOOOOOO BORED!


Mistress Y then showed up. 

Mistress Y: Hey Count? My new project is all ready to get into action! I call her, Sis-Bot! Say the word, and I'm ready! 

Nastasia: Yeah, great enthusiasm, but let's shelve the robot action plan for now, 'K? The thing is, the count kinda left specific orders for us to stand by. Got that?

Mimi: No way! We're just supposed to wait here for that big, mean hero to come get us?


Mistress Y: So, he doesn't need me? Fine, I'll just be on my way to- 

Nastasia: YOU GO NOWHERE! We wait! It's the count's direct order! His word is absolute! Be a good little minion and DO NOT MOVE UNTIL TOLD! ...'K? Thanks.

She then takes off. 

Mimi: BUT I'M BOOOOOOORED! 

Mistress Y: And I need to get some payback too! 

???: Ah ha ha. Hard to stay still when you pine for sweet vengance, isn't it? 

Dimentio appears. 

Mistress Y: Dimentio? 

Dimentio: The count's orders are all absolute...completely without exception, yes? We shouldn't even dare to think about a secret sneak attack. Perish the thought! Defeating the hero would please the count greatly...but we MUST follow orders!

Mimi: ......... Oopsie! I just remembered something real important that I gotta do! Back in a jiffy! Bye!


Mimi teleports out. 

Mistress Y: Yeah ... and I've got .. something else ... to do. 

She leaves. 

Dimentio: Ah ha ha. My, my, isn't that something? I do believe I should be moving on as well.

On another hand... 

Blumiere: Look, Timpani. The stars are beautiful, aren't they?

Timpani: ...There's a tradition in my village. We believe that wishes on stars come true.

Blumiere: Oh, is that so? In that case we'd better get wishing, don't you think?

Timpani: I don't need to wish anymore though. 

Blumiere: Hmm? 

Timpani: I already got my wish. Now I have everything I need right here. 

Blumiere: Timpabi, aren't you cold? 

Timpani: Not at all. I'm very warm ... can we stay like this? Just a little longer? 

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