Title: Canaisis ∞ Chronicle Two: A Captain's Journey

Author: -NikaRave-

Summary: 4.5/5

I think your summary is very clear and very effectively shows the reader the characters and the path the story will take—for a sequel, there is a perfect amount of context for readers to pick up the book and understand. I also like the use of rhetorical questions at the end! I notice that your summary seems to incapsulate your whole trilogy—that's really hard to do, so well done.

This summary feels very 'love' orientated, so obviously, the conflict and stakes don't seem as intense as you would typically see in some summaries. So no complaints from me! Just make sure you are using the correct dashes instead of hyphens (but I am well aware that this is sometimes Wattpad just being a pain with formatting).

Edit: After reading the story, it almost feels like the summary doesn't do the story justice! I want more stakes. This story made my heart palpitate in fear way too many times—I think we should get a taste of that in the summary, to really showcase how intense the stakes truly are! But that could just be me being quite biased after the last chapter I read.

Grammar: 4.5/5

As per request, I wanted to comment in your book if I spotted any errors! But I'm currently having a weird glitch on Wattpad's app on mobile, where if I comment or even respond to a message, it sends the message/comment over and over and over again. And since I read most of this while curled up in bed trying not to let COVID eat me alive, I didn't properly get a chance to comment typos! I tried to write down chapter names instead for easy fixes.

As per always, the writing is very polished. If there were errors, they were simply typos that can be ironed out. Here are some that I jotted down:

In general, there's a bit of an inconsistency with hyphens/em-dashes. Sometimes, em-dashes were used, but other times, hyphens were used where em-dashes should have been. Again, Wattpad can just be a pain when it comes to formatting and I'm sure it will be polished up. Here are some examples that I just stole from Chapter 50:

"Normal life functions will occur naturally-you'll need food for energy..."

"Do not take this lightly-someday you might hate us for this."

The only other thing was that I noticed Harlin was spelt as Harlan in Chapter 85. Also, speaking of Harlin, his dialogue at the end of Chapter 90 was missing the closing inverted commas.

And finally, there are a few small things that I would just tweak when it comes to phrasing. For example:

"We cannot, will not risk sending a second Living Ship into the same environment that may have caused the failure."

When read aloud, it feels a bit awkward and stilted. Consider:

"We cannot—will not—risk sending a second Living Ship into the same environment that may have caused the failure."

Characterisation: 5/5

From this point in the review, I really have no criticisms. I was fully immersed in the characters, writing, and the fluency of the plot.

So let's start!

Something I really came to appreciate in this story is the subtlety of Canaisis. I appreciated knowing more about her design and that consistent link to that drawing, but even all of that aside, she has these very small and subtle acts of kindness and compassion—even small things, like showing Ayla a dream of where she is so that she has time to adjust before regaining consciousness. She provides such a wise voice with the way she talks about death and life, and oh my goodness—when she said "Makes me wonder why anyone would love me", I was literally screaming 'NO CANAISIS I LOVE YOU' at my phone.

This particular story is really clever because we see two different directions on character development. We see Ayla's battle with her Gift (and the role she plays with the Burden) and finding that control rather than being swept away into that place of ash and dust, and we see more of Canaisis' ponderings and see the real complexity behind her—but with Gareth, it feels a bit different. Because we go back to see things that led to where he is, it's like we are still seeing him develop but we, as the reader, are also learning and developing a truly beautiful understanding of how/why his past and his story is significant to his mission. We understand more of his conviction and commitment, so it feels like we are watching him grow and we are growing as we understand more and more.

Chapter 94 really sold Gareth as a character to me. It was so wonderfully written. We see him dealing with these painful pangs when he sees couples, we see him feel a gaping hole when he thinks of Caitlin, and then we see that progression of how he decides to leave that pain behind him where it can't touch him. It was done in such a thoughtful way that I can't help but wonder how he is a fictional character and not a real person.

It was also so interesting that Canaisis points out how humans have empathy and intuition, but only paragraphs later, she perfectly demonstrates both qualities—she checks in and makes sure Ayla is okay when Ayla seems to be confronting bad memories, and she can just tell when something is wrong. It really made me wonder—how much of our intuition is based off very minute and calculated details that we aren't aware of? But that's a philosophical discussion for another day!

I found Harlin super charming! While Gareth was a very calming, grounding force, Harlin was quite fun and showed lots of excitement (and also exasperation) at some of Gareth's actions. Like, y'know, a vertical rocket statement moment. But I love how soft he is when he explains how it's important to treat the AIs respectfully, and I love how his relationship with Gareth develops.

It amazes me how well Ayla, Canaisis, and Gareth just... fit. This story, particularly, they really do become an intertwined force, and there's just a very satisfying click whenever they interact with one another. Of course, I love the banter, as always. I actually laughed aloud when Canaisis was more or less lecturing her captain that he may be a bit harsh when he chooses not to hear about Ayla's livestock concerns—her quip about the inflated ego had me in stitches. Quite a compatible match, if I do say so myself!

Really great work here!

Writing Style: 5/5

This part will be short, because genuinely, the writing is fantastic. There was definitely a comforting familiarity I felt when reading this again. More than that, though, there are beautiful descriptions right from the beginning, all the way to the end. The action is intense and gripping. When Gareth had his right lung punctured and was about to pass out, I was literally on the edge of my seat.

I also have a lot of respect and admiration of the terminology used. You know this ship inside and out, it feels, but it is done in an accessible way that is clear. Well done!

A particular highlight for—because I just read it recently—was the last chapter I read before beginning the review. That harsh description of the ash, that true fear Ayla experiences—then all of that followed by that insane endless loop of waves and numbers and symbols and algorithms. There were a lot of complex ideas and concepts to balance around, but the descriptions moved so fluidly and was so beautifully written that it became an exceptionally written way of helping show that Ayla could see Canaisis stuck in that reset loop.

I loved the constant imagery of that sad angel warrior. This story feels very well tied together with really clever use of symbolism.

Plot + Originality: 5/5

I wanted to launch myself straight into the sequel to see how much I would be able to pick up, and how accessible it would be for readers who had taken some time away between the first book and sequel. And I have to commend you—while I had to go back and remember the whole situation with how they saved Ayla, the first chapter genuinely captured me. There is that movement and desperation/defeat from our captain, and the end where we see some of that heartbreak the captain endured with Caitlin leaving home—a gut-wrenching and yet fitting beginning.

I loved the way we went back! Not only did I feel like we were seeing this epic journey for Ayla learning about her Gift and not letting it own her, but we also got such a lovely snapshot of the past. I loved that moment with the sketchbook, and that haunting art of the sorrowful angel that Dara gave to Gareth (which I keep mentioning); what a powerful foreshadow moment! I love how cyclical it all was—we come back to meeting Dara, and she's just like, "I knew." The image always stuck in my head, and I cannot explain why but it genuinely stuck with me.

Another thing that just stuck with me after reading this story is that there are all these epic sci-fi elements, complex world-building, intricate details—but some moments are just so raw and human, that it provides such a cool contrast and makes all this crazy sci-fi stuff seem so authentic. I think it's so impressive how you balance the big epic moments with those more raw, human moments—the moment with Caitlin telling Gareth about her disease is so sad, and your description of his silent grief was impeccable. I loved the dilemma of potentially freezing her, and also just all those complicated yearning confused feelings of feeling abandoned and lost.

It was also really cool seeing the way Gareth and Canaisis first got acquainted—even if it seemed to give everyone (the monitoring teams and engineers) a heart attack. He made himself a LS captain by default and I'm here for it. 

This story is immensely moving in ways I did not expect it to be. Gareth's moment with Caitlin had me super emotional—where he asks her to hold on just a little longer and they can wait for that cure. I was really moved by the research foundation named after her. It potentially made me continue to obsess over Harlin. When I read the letter Harlin wrote for Gareth, with the 'do me proud when you break orbit', I was feeling this crazy sense of nostalgia.

I also just want to mention Canaisis one more time, and how big of an impact she has on this story. It's really clever just how much of an impact she has. When she is around, the story feels safe. However, in the last few chapters, during all the intensity, in the point where she still hadn't rebooted—her silence made the whole story feel suddenly more tense. Then followed by finding out about the deliberate attack and the seed pods... the stakes were so well done with the limited time and dilemma nature of making tough decisions, but they felt even more intense with Canaisis' silence. I was clenching my teeth all the way to the end (they are still clenched!)  when Ayla went back to claim her right of the Burden! I think we all knew it was going to come to this and I'm excited to see the world go insane!

OVERALL SCORE: 24/25

I really wish I had more constructive stuff to say but I truly loved this. Thank you for writing this—it helped me get through isolation! And, of course, thank you for requesting another review! It means a lot when I see authors come back. I hope this review helps!