Later on that night, Sophie called Lily up and filled her in on the latest of her sordid love life, now lack thereof.

There were squeals, many requests for descriptions on Lucas' body, then bouts of silence as the story progressed to the more serious side of things.

She went through it all, from her conversations with Laura to her conversations with herself, to her conversations with Lucas, leaving nothing out. Lily could write an advice column, she was that good. Not with her own love life, which was always up and down and all around, but was a genius when it came to others.

"One thing I don't get," Lily began once the story reached its end, "Lucas was worried about going through with having a relationship because there were too many problems. I'm guessing one of them was how Joel and Laura would react, because the only other big issue is the kids. So why didn't you tell him about your conversation with Laura?"

That question was one she expected Lucas himself to ask her, but he never did. "Because relationships aren't easy. If he was ready to bolt at the beginning because it was all too hard, then he would have bolted with the next set of problems. I need someone who sticks around when things get hard. He didn't want it enough to try, and I deserve better than that."

"Yeah, you do. I get it. But are you really going to sell that house? You loved it, Sophie, and it isn't so close to his that you're going to run into him on a regular basis."

"A part of the reason why I wanted that house was to be closer to him. We were great friends and the kids wanted to see him more often. Now, that's all gone, and last time I went inside that house, everything felt like him. I mean, it was me, but all created by him. I just need to find a place where I can start with a clean slate; somewhere that's me, and doesn't remind me of a man who fucked me over."

"So, after all that work he put into it to build you your dream house, as he kept putting it, all to make you happy, and you're just going to kick him off the project, have someone else finish it, then sell it like it never meant anything."

When Lily put it that way, Sophie had to admit she sounded like an asshole.

"I get both sides here," her friend continued. "Lucas could have talked to you about his fears before he ever slept with you. He should have sat you down and laid it all on the table. Instead, he gave in to what he wanted, then dropped this massive bomb on you. But maybe he didn't realize all the fears that came with that sort of intimacy until after the intimacy already took place. I don't know.

"And I get your side. You let yourself be vulnerable after being walked all over by your husband for so many years. You let yourself speak up after always being silent about what you wanted, and you got hurt.

"But don't think for one second that man doesn't love you, Sophie. If it wasn't real love, he wouldn't be so damn scared of it. He loves you and he loves those kids, and the last time he was in that position, everything around him fell apart and he suffered through the worst thing that can happen to a parent. He's scared of being a father to your kids because loving that much in his world means pain. He's scared of being with you, because he lost the love of his life when they couldn't make it through that struggle.

"You told him he didn't feel real love for you, but I think it's that real love that makes this all so terrifying for him."

Sophie allowed each and every word sink into her, feeling like shit for making him feel like shit. But did any of it matter? Did any of the answers overshadow what caused her to ask the questions in the first place?

"Either way, he made it clear we can't move forward with one another. Lucas didn't say he needed time, he said he couldn't do this. And I can't move back to where we were. Not after what happened between us."

Sophie licked her lips and turned in the bed, only to see Justin standing in the doorway. "Lily, I'm going to have to call you back." She didn't wait for her friend to respond before she ended the call. "Hey, buddy. What are you doing up so late?"

"Is uncle Lucas the reason you're sad all the time?" His tone didn't sound accusing and his eyes didn't glare. He was just a confused little boy.

Unlike the rest of the questions floating around in her world, this one had such a simple answer. But even the simplest of things were difficult to admit or confront. Sophie gave her son a closed-lipped smile before answering. "Lucas and I are going through a tough time right now, honey. That doesn't mean we don't care about each other, it just means that we're better off keeping our distance."

Justin nodded, then walked further into the room, climbing up to sit on the edge of the bed. "Do you love him like how you loved dad?" He asked. "Dad used to make you sad all the time too."

Sophie had never felt more transparent in her life, despite all the effort she'd put in the last year to keep a strong front. "Dad used to make me sad sometimes. Loving someone doesn't make everything easy. There's problems and you take the good with the bad. But sometimes the bad outweighs the good, and you have to know when to hold on and when to let go."

Though she wasn't certain how much of that he understood, Justin didn't ask about it. "Uncle Lucas is sad all the time too. I think it's because he stopped coming over to see you."

Sophie tugged at her sons arm until he scooted up the bed, then held him tight against her body. "It looks like we make each other sad either way. That's how I know to let go."