Rohan

When I was 10 years old, my family moved from a smaller town to Delhi and we began to live in a new house. Our neighbours were a working Lady and her son. The son was of my own age. But he was blind. In the first few months, we did not talk much. One day I was playing on my own with a ball, and the ball rolled into the neighbours' yard. I went into their yard to look for the ball. I saw that the neighbour's kid had picked it up. I went to him to get that ball. And he returned it to me, I stayed back and chatted with him for a while... And then began to talk to him more often. And we began to get along so well. That is how Aditya and I became friends.

Adi was the first person I would tell everything to. He would know all my secrets. It's him that I first told about liking Esha as well. "Go for it. Go and tell her." Adi had encouraged me at that time. But I was really nervous and scared to confess my feelings for Esha. If it was not for Adi's support, maybe I would not have confessed to her and may have lost her. Not just this...Adi was with me supporting me in every step of my life for the past 10 years. He is my best friend. And we know everything about each other...

"What are you thinking about?" Esha asked me. It was the lunch break and we were walking to the college grounds. "You are just too silent."

"Hm...About Adi." I said.

"What about him?"

"Hmm...I think he likes a girl." I said. I was not yet prepared to tell her who the girl is.

Esha looked at me and parted away a lock of hair that wind had blown to her face. "That is a bit...serious, right? I mean, Adi to like a girl... Has he liked anyone before?"

"That's the point. No. He has not." I said.

"Did he tell you that he likes a girl?"

"No. He did not. But I know him... I can sort of, feel it. It's a sort of suspicion. That is all."

"Which girl?" Esha asked.

"Hm...That's another main point here. We know her."

"Who?"

"Piyali...?" I said.

Esha took a moment to register that. Then she went, "What? Are you... I mean, seriously? Do you think... I mean, Adi likes Piyali?"

"Well, as far I can understand."

"No way." She said. "Stop him."

"What?" I asked.

"Stop him. He can't like Piya." She said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Oh come on..." Esha said.

"Why the hell can't Adi like Piyali?" I asked her. I was getting irritated now.

"Rohan..." she called me as if I have gone mad. "Come on... I know that Adi is all cool and all that. He is one of the most charming persons I have ever met. I know his charisma and all that. But a fact is a fact, Rohan. Aditya can not see. He is blind."

"So?" I asked. "Do you think blind people do not have the right to like anyone?"

"I did not say that. I just don't want Aditya to date Piya. She deserves a normal guy, who can see her."

I did not expect even Esha to say this. Though I am sure that everyone else would say this...that a girl deserves a normal guy next to someone with a disability.

"But Adi is a good guy," I said to Esha... "And Pyali is... I mean, she feels right for him. I just feel...if Adi ever gets a girl, it should be a girl like Piyali. Piyali is caring and sensitive. She is just the right kind of girl for Adi. She will take care of him well."

Esha was giving me a mean sort of look now. As if I disappointed her.

"Are you saying Piya should be taking care of him forever as his nurse or something?"

"Don't talk like that. And you know Adi. You have met him... You can see that he is pretty much capable of taking care of himself. And he can take care of a girl... And he deserves to be with a girl he likes as much as anyone else in this world."

"Okay... I am not saying that he does not. I feel sorry for him too. But why does that have to be Piyali? I don't want her to end up with a man who cannot even see her. I mean, why should she be with a guy like that when she can get a normal person?"

"Esha come on... If Adi loves her, won't she be happy with him? And do you expect Adi to just be with a girl with a disability because all the normal girls should only be with normal boys?"

Esha went a bit speechless.

"If he likes Piyali, I am going to support him," I told Esha.

She turned to me with angry eyes. "No. You are not. Piyali is not going to date a guy with a disability."

"That's for Piyali to decide," I said. I was really pissed off at Esha just then. I loved her. But I hate anyone who disregards Adi and treats him differently. "I am going to support him."

"I am not going to support this at all. Just let me make that clear to you." Esha said.

"No Problem. Just I am going to support him on my own. It's fine if you don't understand or support."

"I don't understand? It's you who is being unreasonable. Do you think it's all romantic? You know how much effort it will be to take care of a blind person. No...don't argue that he is capable of handling himself. Okay, I know that. Yet he will never be the same as a person who can see, Rohan. And a girl being with him has to take care of things related to him...It will just tire her out. Romance, well it will be there at the beginning. In the end, after all the sparks die out...she will be just tired taking care of him. And I don't want Pyali to end up like that."

I did not like her argument. I believed that Adi deserved love and romance as anyone else in this world does. I firmly believed in that. He does deserve to like a girl and confess his feelings to her and live a happy life with that girl. Like anyone else in this world. He DOES deserve that.

"You just don't understand me or him..." I accused Esha. "And I didn't know that you are this much materialistic and cold."

She looked angrier and hurt.

"Don't talk to me then...if I am materialistic and cold."

"Fine, I won't," I said.

"Fine by me." She said.

"Fine by me as well," I said as if I totally don't care.

She turned around and walked away. I got a small urge to stop her. What if she never talks to me ever again. So I wanted to stop her. But my pride did not allow me to. Plus I was still angry.

"Where are you?" I called and asked Adi.

"Academy." He said. "Why?"

"Can I come over?"

"Okay... But why all of a sudden?"

"I will tell you when I get there."

I always like Adi's academy. It's sort of quiet and serene. There are a lot of trees there and the mood is of autumn. With a lot of benches made with tree logs and bamboo.

Adi and I sat down at a table and chairs made out of bamboos.

"So what's with the sudden visit?" Adi asked me.

"Hm... I wanted to talk to you about something." I said. I did not know how to ask him. Since he did not tell me. We usually do not have to ask things about each other. We just naturally tell each other everything. But since he is not telling me about this...

"About what?" Adi asked.

"Hm... I felt like you have started to like a girl." I said. "If you know which girl I am talking about."

Adi went a bit stiff.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"When did you notice."

"You wanted to set her number in quick dial slot 3," I said. "I have always felt that you have left that slot open for a special person, even when you have never told me. I have felt so... And you wanted her number. You asking for a girls number is strange in the first place."

Adi ran a hand through his hair. "Was I that obvious?"

"Hm... And you came to college that day to meet her, right? I saw you looking disappointed when I told you she was absent."

Adi sighed.

"So...why didn't you tell me?" I asked him.

"Tell you what? Even I am not sure about that myself." He looked a bit serious. "And...not sure if it's okay for me to like her."

I got angry now. "Why is it not okay for you to like her?"

"Nah... She deserves a normal guy." Adi got up. And he turned away from me, maybe to hide his expression of sadness and pain. "I do not have the right to like any girl."

I wanted to punch him. What the hell? I fought with Esha about all this topic and now Adi himself is saying all this. He needs to be beaten up.

"Just tell me one thing. Do you like her or not?" I asked.

Adi did not say anything.

I went near him and put my hand on his shoulder and made him turn around and face me. Even if he can't see me, I wanted him to feel my anger more closely.

"Just tell me a yes or no, Adi. Do you like Piyali or not..."

"Oye..why are you..."

"Just a yes or no," I said. "Say it," I said firmly. "Say it, Adi, Do you like her or not."

"Yes. I like her." Adi said. "I miss her and think of her a lot. I like being with her and...sometimes I feel she gets me more than anyone else. So I get drawn to her at times. And...I wish to be with her more often."

"Good," I said.

"So I like her. Now what?" He asked me. "I can't go and tell her this and drag her down with me."

"Now you really need to be beaten up," I told him. "Adi, you idiot, if you like her, you have every right to be with her. Ask your mom, she will say the same. Adi, you have every right to be in love and be with a girl and get a family as much as anyone else. And if you find someone who will accept you for how you are, you should take her into your life happily."

Adi was silent.

"As far as I know, Piyali is not a person who will disregard someone because of a disability. If she rejects you it will be because she does not like you that way yet, not because you cannot see. I am sure she will give you a serious thought before she even rejects you...."

"Why are you telling me she will reject me over and over...?" He asked irritated and going into a pessimistic mode.

"I didn't mean she will reject you 100%. I mean, she will give you a serious thought even if she does. So you should tell her how you feel. Because that is what is important. Expressing yourself believing that you have every right to like that person."

"It's easy for you to say."

"No. I felt the same way when I used to like Esha. I thought she was too good for me and that I don't have the right to like her. You told me to take a chance and confess. And I did that. See it worked. It could work in your case too...."

"I don't have a problem in expressing myself, and letting her reject me...." Adi said... "If she does not - if she accepts me...is that okay? Isn't that wrong?"

"If a girl accepts you, for who you are, don't let her go. Grab her and cherish her for life instead of feeling all wrongful about it." I said. Guilt ran through me just then... Esha. Just now, I did not cherish her.

"Is that okay? Isn't that me being greedy?" Adi asked.

"It's okay for you to be greedy. You have every right to be greedy about your happiness. Every human has."

"Are you training to be a saint or something? Giving lectures like this..."

"I am serious."

"That's why it sounds more preachy."

"Adi...."

"Okay. Sorry...."

"Get serious. And stop feeling guilty and bad and if you like her, like her fully... You don't have to restrict yourself. Me and your mom whats you to experience everything a normal human would experience in his or her lifetime. And that included the feeling of liking someone. Don't constrict your feelings. Let them flow... Let them free. Don't care, or think or analyse. Just feel what you feel. And it will reach her..."

Adi went silent.

"Do you get me...."

"Hm...." He said, at the end. "I am not sure if it's okay...but to say honestly, I myself did not want to hold back anymore. Or more like, it might be my greed, but...I just want to be selfish and have her by my side. I personally did not want to play the good guy and stop my feelings. I am not sure if that is okay. I think I am being selfish. But...even when I try not to think about her, I think of her more and more. It's like I can't help it."

He looked a bit troubled.

"Then go tell her all this. Let her choose." I told him.

He looked like he was thinking about my suggestion. Seriously...