Jude

Tomorrow night, Rishi is throwing an impromptu bonfire at his place. His parents are gone and his sister is buying booze on our behalf. The invite sounds enticing but I remember how sick I am. 

This morning, I threw up the Chick-Fil-A from last night and immediately went back to sleep. I figured something in my salad was rotten. My mom found me passed out on the couch and debated calling the doctor. I've never been sick in my life. Hell, I've never faked an illness to get out of something. That justified her concerns a lot.

I never threw up again. If anything, my stomach was in knots and any vigor I had was nowhere to be found. I was exhausted and ended up taking a long nap on the couch. 

Soon enough, my deep sleep is broken by my little sister. Abbey shakes my shoulders until she's able to wake me.

Which brings us to now. 

"Hey tough guy." She says, kissing my nose.

My eyes flutter open. "Hey, Abbey. What's going on?"

"Just wanted to bring you this." She drops my phone next to me and pecks my cheek this time. I'm surprised she didn't complain about catching a disease. "I want a sister in law."

I sit upright and face her. "What?"

"Emilia's blowing up your phone. No rush, but you should see what your princess wants."

"Princess-" Abbey hit the nail on the head: I forgot to reach out to my pretty girl after last night. My heart races when I view the Snapchat of herself smiling, her fat cheeks begging me to squeeze the shit out of them. 

Emilia is so perfect it isn't funny at all. Her skin always glows like an angel's and I don't remember the last time I saw her without stray curls in her face. I don't know what I did to deserve someone as stunning as she is. 

As I stare at the prettiest girl I know, Abbey gets impatient. "Give me a sister in law." 

"Working on it." I grumble. I'm not grumpy because of Emilia or even my persistent sister. Being sick is no fun at all and drains even the world's happiest person's energy. I haven't been happy since elementary school so I feel like I'm dying. 

"Are you okay, Jude?"

"I've been better."

"Poor thing." Abbey touches my forehead with the back of her hand. "Can I say something to my sister in law for you?"

Part of me wants to shut her up, but I'm far too out of it to decline her offer. "Don't be weird about it." 

Abbey asks me another question, but I tune her out and take a second, more rejuvenating nap for the rest of the day. I mentally drop kick myself for not texting Emilia. Where did my manners go? I was too busy staring at my fan in the dark, smiling because I love being around her and didn't tend to her in real life. 

The next time I wake up, my body no longer feels dead and lifeless. My phone reads that it's a quarter past six and my nap was almost four hours long. Lucy, as tired as I am, lays on the floor next to me. When my usually crazy dog is exhausted, I know I'm the problem. 

I pick up my phone and notice a few Snapchat messages from Emilia. She's one of my favorite people right now. By Abbey's standards, my actions sure as hell speak louder than my thoughts. That's why Emilia has no clue.

hey jude, her initial text reads. I scroll through the messages.

hi emi, i miss you

you too i hope your having a good day

i'm kinda under the weather rn but life is good because of u

feel better :)

 Abbey definitely did well conversing with my crush on my behalf. Nothing embarrassing. 

The problem is the photo of me that's now in Emilia's camera roll. Passed out, I'm unconcious and drool probably came out of my parted lips. My tan disappeared and I look like a British ghost again.

I wish hitting girls was okay so I can punch Abbey for this.

~

The first meal I can eat without puking is some macaroni that tastes more like vaguely flavored water. My mom presented the container to me right when I got up from the couch. By now I feel rested enough to hold a conversation with my family. 

"How are you feeling, Jude?"

I let my mom rub my shoulders and almost melt into her. "Fine. Just a bit tired still."

"We were quite worried about you." She admits, Dad nodding in agreement. "But we're glad you're okay."

Okay is an accurate description. I'm not about to regurgitate the small meal I'm having, but the last traces of fatigue haven't left me. 

Abbey walks by the kitchen with a canned drink of some kind. "I bet you really miss Emi." 

"Yeah." The mention of Emilia makes my heart pound. All day long, I imagined that I was resting my head on her thick, soft thighs. My goodness, I miss mistaking them for pillows. I love how they take up most of the space on my passenger seat. As embarrassing as it is, I'll admit that I'm a sucker for a girl with cute thighs. 

My girl with cute thighs.

I miss sitting in her kitchen with our Dr. Peppers in hand. She's the only other person I know that shares my obsession. I know she'll get into it with Abbey at some point over drinks.

"How is she doing?" Mom asks.

"She's perfect." That comes out sultrier than I expect. Her beautiful face swims around in my mind every day. She's the most stunning girl I've ever seen. When I saw her last, she was wearing a hoodie and a pair of Lululemon shorts that made her butt look phenomenal. 

Abbey turns to our mom. "Someone has a crush on Emilia."

"Shut up, Abs."

Dad shakes his head and smirks. "You're not slick, Judey. Unlike your mother, I'm not a therapist and even I can tell you fancy Miss Shapiro."

"It's totally normal." Mom piggybacks off of my dad's words. 

I shrug. "I'm telling you it isn't that serious."

"So smiling every time we say her name isn't serious?" Abbey air quotes, laughing at me. Of course I'm blushing. 

"When will you see her again?" Mom asks.

I'm glad she said that. Emilia's in the same friend group as Rishi and may be attending his party. "Actually, there's a party tomorrow night at Rishi's."

"He has friends, ladies and gentlemen." 

Dad gives my sister the side eye. "Shut the fuck up, Abbey." Cursing at his daughter earns him a glare from Mom. "Are you sure?"

"I feel fine, Dad." I reassure him, stirring the yellow puke water in the container. 

Abbey tucks a strand of saturated hair behind her ear. "She wants his-" 

My dad puts Abbey in her place without a single curse word.

~

It's the evening of the party and I'm freaking out. Rishi says he invited the whole basketball team. Unfortunately, I've tutored some of those nasty assholes. I'm leaning towards not going, but a bigger part of me misses the girl I like. Emilia texted me to confirm that she and her friends will be there. I really want to see her, now. Unfortunately I can't do that unless she shows up. 

I'm wearing a white wife beater with grey sweatpants. For some reason, I feel like wearing my silver rings with it. Emilia always insinuates I look cute in my wife beaters. 

My goodness, I need to stop thinking about her so much. I've known her since seventh grade and developed my tiny crush on her in ninth. Somehow my thoughts all revolve around her.  

I have around ten minutes to kill before I have to be there and Lucy wants some affection. She's laid out on my bed, begging me to pet her. 

"What's up, Lu?" I scratch her back. The day I got her was the best day of my life. Christmas three years ago, a tiny but feisty puppy was gifted to me. She grew significantly as Pitbulls do but is still my favorite dog. 

Lucy sits up and examines me, then decides to lick my biceps. All I do is cuddle her until I have to leave. It's safe to say she isn't a huge fan of me going to this party. 

Although the house is close, I still have to put Rishi's address in my GPS. It's an easy, relaxing drive until I hear music from the other end of the street. I presume it's from Rishi's. The closer I get, the louder the Drake song gets.

"Big J!" Rishi smacks my back. "Didn't think you'd come." 

I look around and see no one. "Rishi, where is everyone?" I ask, even though relief fills me knowing I'm away from the complacent basketball team for now.

"They're coming." He pats my shoulder. "Make yourself at home, big boy. My sister's supplying  our alcohol and she'll be back in a bit."

I quickly thank him and head back to where the pool is. The water looks enticing, but I forgot to bring my bathing suit. Panic fills me, but I quickly remember we wear the same size. Fumbling through my friend's clothes is awkward, but I find what I need soon. 

The first thing I notice is how my stomach is returning. Being sick and unable to eat slimmed me down a bit. It was the blueberry waffles from this morning that made me notice a pudge. I squeeze the skin and let out a sigh. Oh well, I'll look like a fat blueberry by the end of the night anyway.

Fuck it. I waltz outside and who do I see talking to Rishi? No one too crazy, just Aneesa. She raises her eyebrows at me and carries on her conversation with her brother, huge boxes containing various forms of beer and other beverages. 

"Thanks again, sis," ends the conversation and he joins me in his room.

I'm horrified. I'm sure his sister thinks I'm a thief. "Oh, Rishi. I could have-"

"You think a lot, don't you, big boy?" He chuckles, peeling off his own shirt. His dimples appear in both of his cheeks when he laughs. Rishi's a tall and husky guy who even scared me at first, but he's already the biggest ball of sunshine I know.  

I roll my eyes. "Shut up."

"You're so cute." Rishi squeezes my shoulder, indicating he's just playing around with me. "My guests should be on their way. This is gonna be lit, bro."

"Yep."

Rishi hands me a beer and opens the one he's holding. "To tonight. Cheers." We clink our cans and I pop my Bud Light open. I've never had alcohol before, let alone been to a party surrounding it. The beer's bitter and stings my throat, but Rishi drinks the whole can in the time I take my first sip. 

"You like it?"

I shrug. "It's fine. Let's save this shit for your guests."

His eyes soften. "If you don't want to drink, you don't have to. I can tell it's your first time." 

"I'm sorry."

"No harm, no foul." He reassures me. Rishi is so understanding, more so than I expected. We sit by the pool, putting our feet in the water. 

Kicking my feet, I admit, "I don't have much to say, man."

"That's fine." Rishi says. "I'm happy you came. Sorry you didn't feel good yesterday."

"Thanks."

"You're like, never sick."

"That's why this threw my whole family off. How are you doing?"

Rishi thinks about how to respond. "Awesome, man. I hung out with the guys. They can't wait to-" Aneesa's yelling cuts him off. She's clearly yelling at someone who just ran through the house. Soon, two sets of feet echo through the house. I'm pretty sure they worked together to throw me into the pool. 

The water goes down the wrong way, causing me to cough uncontrollably. I resurface and the minute my head's out of the water, the hysterical laughter starts.

"What the hell?" I cough out, looking right at the people who did this to me. Carson and Leo are dying of laughter while Rishi sits back and watches this bullshit unfold. 

Carson reaches out to me. The t-shirt he's wearing has the sleeves cut out, exposing ripped arms. "Did you enjoy your swim?"

"That was actually fun. It's too hot." I admit, coughing up the water as I'm getting pulled out. 

Rishi finally shakes his head. "That was out of pocket, boys."

"Our bad, man. We love you." Leo says. He's wearing a tight Sublime t-shirt and grey sweatpants. I love Leo back, but why is he wearing pajamas to a pool party? To each their own I guess. I had my suspicions about this party, but the pregame is the best part.

~

Four of us turned into eight, then sixteen, including a few people from the basketball team and some girls too. Sixteen turned into twenty and after that, I honestly stopped counting. None of the people who arrived within the first hour are the girl I want in my arms right now, making me a bit upset. 

"What's up your ass, Jude?" Leo asks when he notices how sulky I'm being. 

"Don't worry about it." I accidentally snap, making him raise his eyebrows. 

Thankfully, he doesn't press the issue and changes the subject. "We can go take shots." Leo points to the group of basketball players chugging liquid from some small cups like they're water.

"Maybe later." I don't look at Leo. 

"I know this is about Emilia." He chuckles, making my cheeks turn red. "Aww, you're blushing. Carson said that she and Eva are close. You'll see her soon." 

I'm beyond embarrassed. "Can we not talk about this?"

He nods. "They're having a chicken fight in the pool. Let's see if they'll let us join."

The chicken fight Leo mentioned helped me take my mind off Emilia. It gets really competitive, but we're all laughing in the end. There were these girls who I really underestimated, the one on top putting poor Leo in the water in seconds. 

"She was strong." Leo shakes hands with the tiny brunette girl who beat him. "Good game."

"That was actually fun."

"Yes sir." I fondly remember playing chicken with Rishi at his birthday party. It was October and October in Florida is still pool weather. We played in this exact pool, making this a pretty full circle moment.

Speak of the devil. As he's making the rounds with his guests, Rishi informs me that Eva's car is here. I don't think it's a huge deal at first, but I recall that Eva and Emi are having a sleepover. I'm soaking wet and so is the wife beater I just pulled on, but I don't care. I've been away from her from what feels like forever and I can't wait to see her face. 

The windows are down and I hear Morgan Wallen from a few feet away. Eva is the first one to notice I'm approaching and I watch her hand fly to the volume button. Emilia, reclined in the driver's seat, sits up and looks in my direction. 

She's so-ugh. I'm in the top ten percent of my class but not a single word in my vocabulary can verbalize how fucking beautiful she looks. Emilia and Eva are wearing the same thing: pink string bikinis and denim shorts. 

My eyes dart to her bloated tummy. I love her thighs, but the pudge that sits on her stomach is a close second. It looks so squishy and lowkey kissable. She's so cute when she's all bloated after she eats. 

They both look exhausted for some reason. I'm sure they were up late talking about me behind my back.

"Hey Jude!" She's not upset with me for interrupting her time with Eva. 

I apologize profusely just in case. "Sorry, ladies. I can leave."

"It's okay, sweetheart." Eva smiles. I've always been scared of Emilia's best friend, but Eva proves everything I think about her wrong. She whispers something to my future wife and exits the vehicle. "See you two inside."

Up close she's breathtaking. She could easily be a model with her almost angelic face and long eyelashes. A claw clip takes her hair out of her face, but of course a few curls still remain in her eyes. 

Even though I join my fine ass wife in her car, my eyes don't meet hers. "So..." 

"I'm glad you're feeling better, Jude." Emi's hand takes its favorite spot on my bicep. 

Electricity fills my system like never before. "Me too." We sit in silence for a while, her chilly hand never leaving my arm. 

"Are you and Eva having fun?"

She nods. "Yeah. We kinda ate too much earlier and I feel like I'm going to explode." It's when I notice she's so stuffed she had to unbutton her bottoms. 

"Damn, Emi." I giggle. 

Emi rolls her eyes. "Shut it." I can't wait for when we get married and hear those two words every day. 

"What?" I run my hand through my soaked hair, looking into her dark eyes. They're not just brown, I can make out light green and a little gold. 

My beautiful brown-eyed girl smirks and holds onto me a little tighter. Soon, she rests her pretty head on my shoulder. Warmth hits my freezing left arm. I don't feel like going back to the party if it means leaving this position. 

Emilia is a lot more social than I gave her credit for. She lifts her head, the warmth leaving my arm as she does so. "I think I'm gonna find Eva. Is that-"

"I understand, Emi. Go."

My indifferent response throws her off. "Jude-"  

"Get the fuck out." I huff, shocked at myself for how harsh I sound. 

She gasps and exits her vehicle. "You don't tell me to get out of my car." My girl sulks as she walks away from this situation. 

I can't pinpoint what upset me so much, but I have absolutely no right to raise my voice at my girl. Technically she doesn't even belong to me yet. When she disappears into the house, it hits me that I'm getting a little jealous. I pretend not to notice the way other guys look at her. The first thing they notice is how fucking fine Emilia is and not a lot of them know how to act. 

I too think she's stunning. I think she's the most beautiful girl at Silver Palms High School. She proved to me that her personality perfectly complements how good looking she is. In my sixteen years on this earth, never have I met a more affectionate, kind-hearted soul like Emilia Shapiro. She looks perfect even when she doesn't think so, but her kindness towards her friends and I blows me away more than her good looks ever did.

"Wait." I follow her into the yard as she frantically searches for Eva. Both of us receive concerned looks from everyone else. "I didn't mean that at all."

"It's fine."Emi doesn't look at me. It's not hard to tell she's not fine. 

I put my hands on my hips. "It sure doesn't seem fine."

"Don't apologize, ok? All is forgiven, Merrywether." Something about her smile doesn't seem genuine. 

"Stop fucking lying." I snap, earning side eyes from Rishi and his friends. Time to kiss my quiet life goodbye. My yelling at Emi will be the talk of the school next year. "Forget it." 

"Yeah. Let's forget about this." She relents, still not looking at me. I definitely hurt her feelings and I feel like a dick. 

Eva picks an awesome time to come check on us. "Emi. Where have you-" She looks back and forth at Emilia and I. I can tell she wants to ask why we're about to eat each other alive but she can't. 

She nods as she puts two and two together. "Well, I'll let you two sort this out." The way her blonde ponytail swings makes my legs start to wobble. The main reason I'm shaking is the fact there's no telling where this awkward situation will go.

Emilia doesn't have to say a word for me to know how upset and confused she is about what's going on, yet she suggests we "just forget this happened.". It's not something I can just forget about. The girl I've had a crush on since freshman year finally gives me the time of day and I get nervous and fuck it up.