chapter one / 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫?

A dark bathroom stall wasn't the best place to spend lunch, but when you're crying over the co-captain of the baseball team, no one needed to see me. I let the events of Ms. Ellis' mundane English class replay in my head as my mascara starts to run.

It started with an assignment. Ms. Ellis had the bright idea to pair me with Hunter Payne, the guy I've liked for an ungodly amount of time. Hunter was one of my favorite baseball guys. Disheveled dirty blonde hair, muscular, and those gorgeous hazel eyes set him apart from the rest of the boys. We weren't friends but using acquaintance to describe our affinity always left a bitter taste in my mouth.

"God, I want school to be over." Hunter raked a hand through his fluffy hair. "Summer isn't coming fast enough."

Nodding in agreement, I figured it would be a good time to shoot my shot. "Looks like we have something in common, Hunter."

"I guess." He grumbled, earning a glare from Ms. Ellis. "Ellis is onto us. Can we get the fucking assignment over with?"

"Mr. Payne, language!" Looking away from Ms. Ellis proved to be a fatal mistake. However, when she turned her back, I saw an opportunity to shoot my shot.

"I need to tell you something." I began, my heart beating louder than my words. "I...have a crush on you." It came out so fast and went downhill even faster.

A chuckle escaped his lips. "Emmy, you think I like you?"

"I don't know."

"That's a hard no." He didn't think twice about it, even delivering reasons why. "Look, I want a girl who is half decent at softball. You're the reason you lost that one game." A chuckle escapes his lips. "Plus, you're not that pretty."

My stomach dropped. "You're right." If Hunter Payne, the male Regina George of the school insulted me, then he's telling the truth.

I don't know what happened. One minute we were whispering to each other about our summer plans and hoping our teacher didn't overhear, the next my self-esteem crumbled as he made the worst comments about me. To think that this time four years ago we were closer than ever and now he's too popular to be seen with me made my heart wrench even more.

No one needed or deserved to see me like this. Except for Tori Butler, my best friend slash therapist. Tori is one of those people who can keep a secret. She's easy to talk to, making her well-liked among our peer group. Unlike me, a girl whose coldness scared people away from time to time, she was warm and sunny twenty-five-eight. Although she was one of my biggest cheerleaders, her words could never fill the void in my heart.

The bell rings, and I impulsively decide to stop sulking and go to Math. By now, the Hunter fiasco was surely the talk of the school. They knew I cried my body weight in water during lunch, but it's never a pretty process. That's why I caked mascara onto my already voluminous eyebrows and left my hiding place. 

"Look who's out of her stall." Tori wraps me up in a hug.

"What do you want me to do? Ugly cry in front of two hundred and something people?" 

 As she lets go, her hazel eyes study me. "I heard about Hunter. You can do a lot better, sweetheart."

"You're the best." I hug her again. "He called me some out-of-pocket shit."

Tori's eyes met mine. "Emilia, I'll say this until you get it through your thick little skull." Here we go, another pep talk. "He's not on your level. You're so much better than him. You're one of the prettiest girls in the grade." After being called ugly, I needed that. Every time she calls me pretty, she needs to look at herself.  Her dark brown hair fell in perfect waves, and she had that smile that made everyone around her smile. Since she's half Brazilian, she has a tanned complexion with a glow to it.

"Let's go." We walked to Math together, ignoring the people who whispered to one another as we passed. As we filed into the classroom, I practically let out a sigh of relief when the gossiping gave way to people discussing homework. 

~

"That was the worst." Tori held the door for me as we walked out of school. "Can summer come any faster?" I shuddered at those five words. While I agreed with my best friend, that was what Hunter said moments before he smashed my heart.

I laughed in agreement. "Literally. I'm so excited for the end of the year party." Where I live, the wild summer parties were planned the minute our teachers brought up exams for the first time. Hell, my peers could be concerned about college with the time they spend figuring out what to wear for a party that's a month away. 

This year was different. In the last ten months, I've been stood up, rejected, severely roasted, and unprepared for almost everything. I, Emilia Shapiro, deserve a break. 

Tori agreed with me. "You need to relax a bit, Emmy." She smiled at me softly. "The beach has been calling your name for a while. And now that Coach Miller isn't screaming in our faces anymore..."

"I can't wait." For a moment, I forgot about the exams and my newly broken heart. Unfortunately for me, a white Tesla pulled up. 

Tori instantly looks up from her phone towards her mother's car. "See you tomorrow." 

Damn, I thought. It's not like I can FaceTime her in a few hours. Tori's parents were so laid back that Supernanny would fucking roast them. As soon as school entered the picture, that wasn't the case. The weeks leading up to exams meant that she was on house arrest, with studying being the only remotely fun thing she's allowed to do.

As if right on cue, papa finally arrives. Right away, he studies me with a concerned look. "Everything ok?"

"I'm alright." I lied. "Actually papi, I'm pretty pissed off."

"Language, mija."

"My bad." I said, looking out the window. The only sounds were pissed parents battering their car horns trying to get through the carpool line. Hunter's words crept back into my mind. 

I only like girls who are half decent at softball.

After I hit some balls tonight, I'll be more than half decent.

~

A/N

apologies for how long this took

so uh tldr: emilia gets rejected and she is unhappy asf so instead of being self destructive she's hitting softballs! wish i could be like her when i'm pissed

anyways a read or comment is appreciated

happy pride month! you r seen and loved! feel free to message me ;)