"Soph! Soph! Sophia!" Lance was shouting my name and trying to keep up with my phase.

I ignored him and hurriedly got in my car, I have no energy to deal with Lance. He'll only bring her up, and it would cloud my mind more than she already does.

I don't want to go home and stay in my condo, sigurado naman akong magmumukmok lang ako doon. I need some fresh air, I need to breathe.

After driving for almost 10 minuets not knowing where to go, I decided to go in Tagaytay, it is the closest place I can think of where I can go and let everything out. Though it's also the place I know can make everything worse in a snap.

After an hour of driving, nakarating na rin ako kung saan ako dati nag'part-time job. Sobrang tagal na rin nung last na bisita ko dito, wala masyadong pinagbago may mga nadagdag lang na lights, tables and chairs.

Malapit nang lumubog ang araw and I already ordered a drink. I chose a spot that's near the small bed of sunflowers.

Dumami na rin yung mga tanim, but I'm not even sure kung buhay pa yung samin, I know yung nararamdaman ko sakanya is just refusing to die. How I wish I could just bring back time, nasa huli nga talaga ang pagsisisi pero I realized na I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for those heartaches.

The view and the aroma of the coffee really did a lot to make me remember a lot of things, and a lot of memories of Her.

When I see her again, should I smile? of what? of pain? of gratitude? of happiness?

I put my hands on my face and sighed loudly.

It suddenly started to rain softly, parang ambon lang, but the wind got real cold soI grabbed my coffee and held it against my skin.

"Uhm hi"

Nagulat ako when a voice suddenly broke my thoughts, I looked up to see who it was.

"Do you have company? medyo crowded kasi sa loob, can I stay beside you?"

He was in a white button up tucked in black pants, he looked too familiar but I can't seem to pinpoint, my job takes a lot of seeing different faces.

"Uhh.. sure" I spoke and he sat down before placing his black coffee and laptop bag at the table.

"Uh, sorry ha, first time ko kasi dito" he shyly apologized.

"Oh no, it's all good. I needed to get off my mind after all" I replied before taking a sip from my coffee.

"Ahh.."

I faced the still setting sun bago huminga ng malalim, lalo nang bumilis ang paglabo ng kalangitan.

"Wow, mukhang malalim nga iniisip mo" he suddenly spoke.

I smiled.

"Would you.." I paused.

"Choose love over and over again, even with the risk of losing everything over and over again?"

I looked at him and surprisingly, his face doesn't look bothered. Like he was expecting my deep talk. I just believe that sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers about your struggles, cause then they wouldn't expect anything but your given emotions.

Instead he chuckled.

"Ahhh siguro?" he answered unsure.

"Siguro?"

"Oo" tumango siya.

"Oo kung mas matimbang naman yung pagmamahal kaysa sa lahat ng pwede pang mawala" he added.

"Matimbang.." I thought.

Weighing things is definitely not my forte, I've learned that since I lost what I lost before.

I looked further into the now dark orange horizon, how far is happy.

Silence was broken by the sudden ring of a phone.

I checked mine immediately but then the guy beside suddenly spoke on his phone, hindi pala sakin.

"Yes Sam?" nanlaki ang mata ko.

"Andito na ako kanina pa, umuulan na nga ako, san ka na ba?"

I gulped, bakit ba naman sa lahat ng pangalan e.

"Of course I have your deal! how can I say no to you? baka mamaya niyan bumalik ka na ng New York nang di tayo nagkikita" I almost choked on my coffee when I heard his words. What the fuck is this.

"Oh! ah miss okay ka lang?, saglit Sam ah" he suddenly handed me tissues and asked if I was doing okay.

I coughed before answering.

"Hmm, yes yes, sorry-" but I easily regretted talking, what if that Sam heard me, and is it the 'Sam'?! Punyeta naman.

Or does she remember my voice? ugh ano ba tong iniisip ko? baka kapangalan lang? at parehong taga New York?! siguro???

"Sam?, hello? san ka na ba?" he spoke once again.

"Parking lot? sige sige dito ako sa may benches sa labas ng convenient cafe."

"What?!" I accidentaly shouted na ikinagulat naman ni kuya.

"M-miss?" he asked.

"Uhh.. uh" I panickly gathered my things into my bag and shouldered it before half running away.

"Miss?! okay ka lang? mababasa ka!" I heard the man shout but I did not bother looking back, I was just speed walking to my car kahit nababasa na ako when I harshly bumped into someone.

"Aray!! Ah!" I stumbled down and hurt my wrist as I caught my weight.

"Ah shit!" I shook my hands as it got wet on the pavement.

"Sorry! sorry I wasn't looking-" I looked at the person and sighed.

God I though mamamatay na ako sa kaba.

He reached his hand and helped me up.

"I'm really sorry, I was busy looking for my umbrella-"

"No, no it's fine, I'm okay-" I stuttered cutting him off as I looked around to spot the person I'm running away from.

"Are you sure? are you in a hurry?" he asked as he opened his umbrella.

I smiled at him. "Yeah! yes I am, I'll get going"

Nilampasan ko na siya when I saw someome awfully familiar coming out of the car parked beside mine. Mahamog na and she's covering half of her face with her arm but I fairly know that arm, that body, and the way she forgets her umbrellas.

"Shit, shit!" I immediately went back to the guy na nabangga ko and pretended to talk to him at nakisilong casually while trying to hide.

I held his hand habang hawak niya yung payong niya so I could turn his back towards the direction opposite of me, matangkad siya at malaki ang pangangatawan kaya natatakpan ako.

"Uhm hello again, ahhh you see, ano.. ano kasi e-" I tried to calm down but it isn't working, I'm already sweating and wet from the rain kahit hindi kalakasan.

Nakita ko sa peripheral vision ko na papalayo na yung tao, in black leather jacket and pants, yun lang yung nakikita ko as I turned away when she surprisingly faced our direction and looked over for a second.

"Ah! oo nga pala! kamusta ka?! ah Jack? how are you?" sobrang nahihiya na ako kay kuyang kano pero wala na akong choice habang nagpapaikot ikot kami para makapagtago ako.

I stopped bothering him and sighed while holding my knees after I saw her already enter the cafe.

Putang ina paano ako mageexplain kay kuya.

"Miss? are you really alright? did you hit your head?"

"No! ah I'm really fine-" I mentally slapped my face.

"I'm really sorry, I need to go" tumakbo nalang ako papunta nang kotse ko and almost hardly got inside. Isasaksak ko nalang yung susi ko nahulog ko pa.

"Arghhhh!" I hit the steering wheel bago sumandal dito.

"Shit!! sa dami ng araw! arghhh!" I screamed angrily before picking up my keys and starting the car.

"Bakit ngayon ka pa nasa Pilipinas?!!" I continued to hit what I could.

"Nakakahiya ako! tangina!"

I sighed loudly bago pumikit and huminga ng malalim.

"Okay kalma Sophia.. wooh!"

"Bakit kaya ako nagtatago sayo.." I fell sad. Nagpunas at nagayos nalang ako ng sarili.

I drove back to my condo and almost immediately crashed to my bed. Hindi ko alam kung yung malakas na tibok ng puso ko ay dahil sa kape o sa kaba.

I decided to text Ella about what happened.

"Puta! may itatanga ka pa ba?!" I didn't know what to feel about her response tho.

"Bat ako lang nanaman nakita mo?! I basically said I saw Ali- I mean Sam!"

"Ali pa nga"

"Alam mo akala ko makakatulong ka e"

"Chill naman gurl, okay I know."

"Ha? anong you know?"

"That she's here, alive and kicking"

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko, I called her then.

"Explain" I immediately said as she pickep up.

"Grabe naman, wait lang mahina kalaban" she complained.

"Bella" I seriously said.

"Fine, ito na.. she got here last week, all I know is that she's here for her business na icecenter niya sa Pilipinas"

"Why didn't you say so?" I asked her, if she could've said it earlier nagingat sana ako.

"Bri said wag akong maingay"

"Bri?! she knew?"

"She basically knows Sam's whereabouts"

"Wh-how?"

"I'm not sure, baka naguusap sila palagi?"

I sighed.

"Take a rest Soph" she said softly.

"Yeah.. I should" I sighed.

"Don't worry, from what I heard and what it looks like, she's just busy meeting different people in business terms" she added

I closed my eyes and rolled them.

"Like I need to know that"

"Oh you do, para hindi ka naman mukhang tangang nagaantay kung bibisitahin ka niya noh"

"Damn you Ella" I seriously replied.

"Hahaha I know I know, kalma na teh, from the looks of it she'll be staying here for the month pa naman until Greece"

Agh shit, Greece nga pala.

"Shush na Soph, have a better night than day" she sarcastically said before putting the call down.

I groaned as I stood up and threw my phone to my bed, I decided to take the longest hot shower I can for tonight, I deserve to relax.

The next morning was a rush, I woke up thirty minutes late from my usual routine so I hurriedly did everything I had to.

It was almost 9 am when I got to the hospital and my head is crazily spinning sa puyat, pagod, at gutom.

Instantly pagpasok ko ng clinic I saw Lance sitting down sa sofa, he stood up as he saw me, holding a bag from the local coffee shop.

"Uhm hi, coffee?" he said awkwardly.

"Hi Lance" I tried to make him comfortable, wala naman siyang kasalanan, ako yung nasa hindi tamang pagiisip.

"Well, I bought donuts too.. forgive me??" he softly asked.

I smiled before walking to put down my bag sa table.

"Pasalamat ka gutom ako" I joked which made him soflty chuckle.

We were eating when my phone beeped, so I immediately checked it.

"Uhh, alis nako Soph, I'll see you around. Enjoy breakfast" he smiled before leaving my clinic.

I sighed.

I just received an email from the airline, seems like Greece is real after all.

My day continued as usual, had two surgeries, both minor, hindi masyadong nakakapagod since rounds lang naman talaga ang demanding sa work.

I realized I had to file my leave as early as now so as soon as I finished my sched I went straight to the office of our director.

"A vacation leave?, really Dr. Fajardo?" he asked.

"Uhm, yes doc, is there a problem? two weeks lang naman doc but I can adjust if work demands me to-"

He laughed.

"No, Dr. Fajardo you can take this leave, you deserve it. Nagtatampo lang ako at hindi ako invited" he joked.

"Oh, hahaha, it's kind of an alone time Doc"

"Sure, sure. Be safe and come around" he smiled.

I shook his hand before leaving. Madali lang siyang kausap kumpara pa sa ibang head doctors, he's humble and kind.

I was making my way to the hospital's exit when I got startled kay Lance na biglang tumabi sakin.

"Oh! akala ko hanggang gabi ka?" I asked.

"Yep, I just heard this news kaya hinanap kita"

"Ha? what news?"

"You're leaving?"

I sighed.

"It's just two weeks Lance, and next month pa yun"

"I know, I just wanted to hear it from you"

"Na ano? magpapaalam ako sayo?" I asked chuckling.

"Na babalik ka" he seriously said which made me laugh.

"What? shempre babalik ako noh, I can't lose my job"

"I mean, anything can happen right? a certain thing made you go away and take a leave, might as well make you never come back"

I stopped before facing him.

"Anong sinasabi mo? it's a vacation Lance" I laughed nervously.

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

"Ha? bakit? boyfriend ba kita?" this is getting ridiculous.

"I do hope so"

I lost my smile when I heard him.

"What?"

"Nothing Soph, I just know na it's not "just" a vacation, we have the same friends you know"

Oh. that, sino naman kayang naglaglag.

I sighed.

"Hey.. Soph, I want to say something"

"Lance.. if this is about-"

"Can you please just listen?" he cut me off so I lent him my ears.

Huminga siya ng malalim bago pumikit at tumingin saakin ng seryoso.

He was going to talk but he bit his lower lip, halatang kabado.

"What is it?"

"You know I like you, noon pa. but I've never wanted to cross the line until now when I can feel na nawawalan na ako ng chance.."

"Wha-"

"You'll see her again, Ali, Sam or whatever." kumunot ang noo niya bago niya nilagay sa bewang ang dalawang kamay at halatang hindi mapakali.

"I- this- I mean.."

"Can I please have the chance to court you?" he finally got it out and his words left me in shock, he's still trying.

I'm left speechless.

"Look, I know naprepressure ka lang, I'm not stopping you from that vacation, you should go. What I'm asking is, if ever you plan to get a closure with her, maybe I enlist as early as now? ayoko na ulit maunahan Sophia"

"Lance I'm not gonna go looking for someone in Greece"

"Maybe you can look for someone here? someone nearer? someone named Lance Gonzales?" he softly smirked.

"Just think, please consider? I'll wait for your answer." with that he kissed my forehead and walked away.

I was left standing near the exit door, head spinning, heart beating faster than usual; confused.

~~~~~~~

uwu :/