Time flies so damn fast, I'm already a 4th year medical student and still may mga rotations parin kami sa hospital, the only difference is we have the opportunity to choose kung saan kami marorotate para mas madevelop kami for applying residency.

New month, new rotation. November na and for this month it's my medical ICU rotation. I hope it's a pretty good month for me.

"Soph, start na yung walking rounds" Sabi ni Kuya Warren, a first year resident.

We started checking the charts of every patient with the team.

After that we also had a rotation with the attending physician. Pagkatapos ng mga rotations we will finish the tasks that needs to be done.

The past months parang hangin lang na dinadaanan ako. After the party nung third year namin naging maayos naman lahat maliban lang na napapaisip parin ako about kay Ali.

I'm already applying for my residency and everyday I would never think na kakayanin ko. Dahil sa mga nangyari before it made me stronger and Ali is always the reason that I keep going on. One day kapag pinayagan na nang tadhana may isa akong pangako na matutupad ko para sa kanya.

I'm in the middle of changing my clothes when my phone beeped.

"Lance's condo. 8 pm. Miss ko na kayo mga pangit"

It was a message from Ella. Akala mo naman sa kanila yung condo ni Lance. Naalala ko yung after party nagkita pala sila ni Ethan.

~~~~

"Ano ba talagang nangyari kanina?" I asked sa video call.

"Si Ethan, nagkita kami" she said in a low voice.

"And?"

"He's asking for forgiveness. Naguguluhan ako" Nahahalata ko na sa boses niya na hindi pa rin talaga siya nakakamove on kay Ethan.

"Well, try hearing him out para magka'closure na at malinawan ka narin"

"I don't know Soph, pagiisipan ko pa lalo ayoko na ulit sumugal sa maling tao" She said almost crying.

"Okay Els, just know that I'm one call away lang"

~~~~

"Wow Soph hindi ka na masyadong mukhang zombie!" Again si Keil ang maingay since day one.

"Keep up ka din Keil, you look like a walking dead" Pabalik ko trying to annoy her.

"Yeah whatever" and I succeeded.

"Soph, I got you your fav drink it's in the fridge" I immediately looked at Lance.

"May silbi ka rin talaga Lance e" He just smiled at me.

I quickly ran towards the fridge and saw that there's a lot of soymilk pero dalawang flavor, chocolate and original. Kilala narin talaga ako ni Lance.

Tumupad siya sa mga sinabi niya na kaya niyang mag-antay hanggang ready na ako.

"Ella, abot mo nga yung remote ng aircon, nilalamig na ako" sabi ko kay Ella na busy sa pagkain ng shawarma.

"You're cold? Hindi naman masyadong malakas yung aircon. Are you okay? Here.." Sabi ni Lance na biglang sumulpot sa gilid at inabot sa akin yung small blanket.

"I'm fine, di ba mabilis talaga akong ginawin?" I slightly laughed to assure him na okay lang ako.

We stayed the night here at Lance's place dahil wala kaming pasok bukas kaya kinabukasan balak lang namin magrest.

"I already booked the spa, good thing may home service sila" sabi ni Ella.

"Sige, matatapos na rin tong niluluto ko" I added a little salt and pepper for final touches. Buttered shrimp yung naisipan kong iluto dahil we're all craving for some seafood.

"This tastes so good, masarap ka pala magluto di halata e" pang-aasar ni Keil.

"Iluwa mo yan, now nang hayop ka" pagbabanta ko.

"Really Soph, It's good. Cook for me more often please" Lance looked at me like a child waiting for his candy.

"I'll cook for all of you more often" I smiled, It's so good to have them as my second family.

"Merry Christmas!" My family shouted enthusiastically.

"Merry Christmas din ma, pa" I hugged them. Ngayon lang din ako nakauwi dito sa probinsya.

"Mag'Noche Buena na tayo" pagyaya ni papa.

"Hi ate na'miss ka namin" sabi ni Janeane sa gilid ko.

"Na'miss ko rin kayo" I looked at her and also hugged her.

Umuwi muna ako sa probinsya for Christmas. Maayos na rin kami ng pamilya ko, bumabalik na rin sa normal lahat.

After namin mag'Noche Buena, naggift giving na rin kami.

I got my sisters a personalized bracelets for the four of us. Bumili naman ako ng massager and a statement hat for mom and dad.

Lumabas muna ako para magpahangin dala dala yung hot chocolate milk na gawa ni mama.

Malapit nanaman magbagong taon and still, Ikaw parin Ali. How's your Christmas out there? Malamig ba? I wish I was there to keep you warm. Are you happy? I hope you are happy. 

"Ate?" I heard Cassandra looking for me.

"Cassy, here" I waved my hand para mas makita niya ako.

"May problema ka ba ate?"

"Ha?"

"Kasi kanina ka pa bumubuntong hininga e"

"Wala naman, may mga iniisip lang"

"Okay lang yan te, mahal ka parin nun"

"Hoy ikaw ha! Mahal ka diyan"

"Ano ka ba ate ilang taon ka na oh, si ate Ali parin ba?"

I was shocked when she said her name.

I looked at the stars and sighed.

"Cassy you'll understand it when you experience a love this selfless.."

"Ate does it hurt too much?"

"So much, it makes you numb. The most painful part is that we never even had the chance to prove the love that we had"

"Ate hindi ka ba natakot noon? Pareho kayong babae"

I held her hand softly after warming it sa cup. I looked at her.

"Natakot ako, kami, sobra.."

Tears formed in my eyes.

"But our love made us stronger to face the judgements and reality. You know it's the love you've been needing your whole life when you fight for it with the person you love."

"Nakakatakot naman ate hindi ko ata kaya yun"

I softly laughed ar her words, like she's actually preparing for it.

"The things you would do for love cassy is limitless. It makes you transcend your fear and you'll jump right into everything not knowing what's next. It'll make you or break you, but that's fine Cassy. Love is more than what we all know and talk about."

She smiled at me.

"Ate, sana maging masaya ka na ulit tulad nung meron pa si ate Ali"

"I'm happy, she just makes me the happiest."

I wondered my sight on to the endless array of stars, so cold, mahangin, but the thought of her is warm.

Ali... Years have passed pero the love that I have for you is only growing.

I hope it's not yet the end for us.

~~~~~~~

uwu :/