SUNLIGHT'S POV

MABILIS na uminit ang sulok ng mga mata ko nang makita ang dalawang bultong nage-enjoy sa isa't isa habang nakapuwesto sa ilalim ng malaking payong, partikular sa isang malapad na sun lounger. Azdrian was gladly caressing Heira's back using his hand that coated with sunblock. All of a sudden, my tears poured like a flowing river. I quickly erased them away using the back of my palm.

"Why don't you talk to him?" Cliff asked when he suddenly appeared out of the blue.

"You know I can't. And I will never," I whispered.

Although, suffocated because of the tightening inside my chest, I still chose to look at my friends happily bonding with each other with the setting sun as a backdrop. Bagay na bagay talaga sila. Because they are merely Heira and Azdrian. Two consenting adults who were lucky enough to enjoy while someone was hurting behind their back.

I bit my lower lip before I turned my back. Isang ngiti ang umalsa sa aking labi nang marinig ang halakhak ng dalawa at nang makita ang sakit na bumalatay sa mukha ni Cliff. Parehas lang kami; tunay ngang magkaibigan. Nagmamahal mula sa malayo at ganoon din kapag nasasaktan.

Nagkulong ako sa kuwarto namin ni Heira. I deleted all the social media accounts I have because I will not be able to use them anymore. I do not tend to communicate with anyone. Kahit mga kaibigan ko pa. I will leave for Japan tomorrow, anyways.

"You should eat na, Sunlight. Nag-dinner na kami ni Cliff downstairs," bungad ni Heira nang walang katok-katok siyang pumasok sa kuwarto naming dalawa. She sat down on her queen-sized bed while I just glanced at her because I am busy on my phone.

"You should eat na with Azdrian. I told him to wait for you."

I pursed my lips. Halos mabitiwan ko ang aking cellphone. Ako? Pinahintay ni Heira kay Azdrian?

"Ayos lang naman kung kakain ako mag-isa," tipid kong sagot habang tamad na umaahon mula sa malambot na kama.

"But iisa ang reservation natin, right? You need to join him. Lalo pa he's not used to eating alone. You know that."

Secretly, I rolled my eyes out of irritation. Pakiramdam ko, halos ipagtulakan na niya ako kay Azdrian when in fact, she should not. Boyfriend niya iyong tao at alam niyang may nararamdaman pa rin ako, pagsasabayin pa kaming kumain? Did she go mad?

Lumabas ako sa kuwarto nang walang paalam. The cold breeze of the night welcomed me. I hugged myself before pulling my cardigan to get a better access of heat.

The Mediterranean aura of Thunderbird Poro Point Resort amazed me. Lalo na pagdating sa lobby. Halos maubos ang space ng memory card ng DSLR camera ko kanina dahil sa kakakuha ko ng mga larawan kanina. Colors of white and blue that signifies much of Greece added fuel to my want of exploring this resort more. Pieces of furniture are in their right places; amenities do really bring comfort to the customers like me. Heira chose a real paradise for our vacation this summer.

I laughed inwardly because of my undeniable fascination.

"What a smile," komento ng kung sinumang nasa tabi ko na siyang ikinatalon ko nang bahagya.

Napahawak ako sa aking dibdib. I glared at Azdrian who was laughing frankly.

"If you just saw your reaction! It was priceless!" humahalakhak na dagdag niya.

"Will you stop that? Nasa lobby tayo," pagdiriin ko kahit kaunti lang ang taong nasulyapan ko na mabuti na lang, hindi kami napapansin.

He pouted his lips. "You just looked gorgeous."

Tumahip nang mabilis ang puso ko sa puri niyang iyon pero hindi ako nagpaapekto. Para saan pa?

"Nag-dinner ka na ba?" tanong ko habang nagsisimula nang humakbang palabas sa tarangkahan ng building.

"Not yet. I waited for you," sagot niya na ikinaantala ng mga kilos ko.

Pumihit ako paharap sa kaniya na nakasunod sa akin. "Y-You what?"

"I waited...for you."

Suminghap ako. "No, you didn't."

Kumasa ang kaniyang panga. He looked pained. I lost some of my breath looking at his sculpted, five o'clock shadow. Pumasada ang aking tingin sa kaniyang mukha na kasingdilim na ng kalangitan. Nakakatawa dahil nahuhumaling pa rin ako sa iritado ngunit guwapo niyang mukha at sa mga abo niyang mata na napupuno ng poot.

His red plump lips opened maybe to speak but nothing left his mouth except for an irritated groan. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang basta niya ninakaw ang braso ko at dinarag ako papunta sa kung saan. Walang habas sa pagtibok ang puso ko kahit pa malinaw na ilegal iyon. At dahil sa panghihina, hindi ko magawang tumakas sa hawak at pagkulong niya sa akin sa kaniyang malapad na pigura.

Napatili ako nang bigla niya akong binuhat na parang bagong kasal nang marating namin ang buhanginan. Finally, I had the strength to struggle from his hold but it was not enough to move him even a bit. In fact, mas lalo pa yata siyang tumibay para hindi para hindi ako makawala!

Ibinaba niya ako sa isang sun lounger at tinabunan ng kaniyang maskuladong katawan. Hinihingal ko siyang binigyan ng malakas na sampal. How dare he do this to me!

Muli ay gumalaw ng kaniyang panga. Uminit ang magkabila kong pisngi dahil sa init at bango ng binubuga niyang hininga na umaabot sa pang-amoy ko.

"You'll go back to Japan? Really, Sunlight?" he asked sarcastically.

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Ano bang pakialam mo?"

"You're seriously asking me that? You know I don't want you to leave! You know for a fact that I'm still into you!"

"Tumigil ka na, p'wede?!"

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin ngunit mas inilapit niya ang sarili sa akin. His calloused hand glided to my jaw down to the side of my neck. Puwersahan niya akong pinaharap. Nahanap ko sa mga mata niya ang nagbabaga kong mga mata. Our faces were just an inch from each other.

"You won't leave. Dito ka lang sa Pilipinas. Dito ka lang sa 'kin," he said with finality.

Tumawa ako nang pagak. "Hindi mo 'ko mauutusan. Magkaibigan lang tayo at hanggang do'n lang 'yon."

"Magkaibigan? Talaga? As long as I can remember, nor you do I initiated a breakup before."

Inambahan ko siya ng sampal pero mabilis pa sa kidlat na nahuli niya ang kamay ko. Ang kamay niyang nasa leeg ko ay lumipat sa aking baywang. He jailed me fully I could not even move to free myself.

"Are you still blaming yourself for what happened, huh?" he muttered that sent shivers down my spine.

"Stop doing this." Nagsimulang humalibisbis ang maiinit na patak ng luha sa aking pisngi.

"Stop doing what? I'm claiming you back. You are my girlfriend."

Girlfriend? Ako ba talaga o si Heira?

I sobbed while feeling the slow strokes of his thumb on my cheeks, removing the wet traces of my tears. Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang nararamdaman ko. All I know is I need to cry it all out or else, my built-in wall would break into pieces. And if that happens, I will not be able to fight for what I really wanted, even if destiny already gave me a chance to do so.

"Y-You nearly died because of me..." bulong ko na nagpatigil sa kaniyang ginagawa.

His adam's apple moved up and down. Sinuyod ng matapang niyang mga mata ang nanginginig kong labi. Ngumuso siya at muntik nang magpang-abot ang dalawa, ngunit alam kong wala siyang planong halikan ako.

"Three summers ago, my girlfriend gained back her lost memories and almost drowned herself to the sea to end her misery caused by the death of her parents..." His lips touched my nose swiftly. "And because I love her and I was his boyfriend, I saved her from the large waves and took her away from it because I didn't want to lose her. I'd rather lose myself instead...just not her."

I gaped at him. "Azdrian..."

"I got drowned instead of her but I felt glad knowing she's safe. But when I woke up in a four-wall white enclosure, I didn't see her. Far from what I expected the most. I only saw my parents and Heira. For three years, I only had them. But truthfully, I need you more, baby..." This time, nanunuyang dumampi ang basa niyang labi sa ibabaw ng aking labi. "Why did you leave, My Sunlight?"

My breathing hitched.

God knows that I was there at the hospital and how much I am regretful and worried about him that time. But his parents---who generously lend me shelter and food when my parents died and I lost my memories because of the car accident we met---suddenly burst out their anger at me for putting their son's life in danger.

At hindi ko kailanman sasabihin kay Azdrian ang tungkol doon dahil ayaw kong magalit siya sa mga magulang niya. It was my fault why they disliked me for their son. It is only okay for me to stay away and hold back this feelings I permanently have for Azdrian.

"H-Hindi tayo p'wede kahit kailan..." pagdadahilan ko. "You have Heira now."

Humigpit ang yapos ng kaniyang braso sa aking baywang. He smirked darkly before lifting my weight to kiss my lips. Ang mga kamay kong hindi ko naramdaman kanina ay kusang gumalaw upang higitin ang kaniyang sando para mas magkalapit kami. Tumugon ako sa paghalik niya kahit pagkakasala ang ibig sabihin niyon. Unti-unting bumigat ang talukap ng mga mata ko.

Hindi ko na alam! Bahala na! Kaibigan ko si Heira pero...hindi ko mapipigil ang pagmamahal kong ito kay Azdrian kahit anong gawin ko.

Ilang segundo pa ay ako na mismo ang pumutol sa aming halik. I rested my forehead on his. Just this time, please. Just this summer. Please, give me a chance to love this guy without a doubt or any collateral damage...

"I talked to my parents..." he said that made me open my eyes. "I asked them why you're gone and why you didn't visit me. Umamin si Mommy. They pushed you away..."

"It angered me. No one has the right to do that. Even my parents."

"Azdrian, they are your parents. Nag-alala sila sa 'yo," I uttered softly.

"Pero muntik ka nang mamatay."

He sighed. "Please, don't feel bothered about it. I don't care as long as I got to save you..."

Something warm touched my heart. Mas tumindi ang naglalagablab kong emosyon kaya bigla akong napayakap sa kaniya. Just by doing this, I felt safer than ever. He hugged me back while caressing my hair. "Pero hindi dapat sila nagalit sa 'yo. I did save you wholeheartedly, Sunlight. Para hindi ka mawala sa 'kin."

Tumikhim ako nang may maalala. "How 'bout...Heira?" nag-aalala kong tanong.

"She's not my girlfriend. You're best friends with her, remember? She respects our relationship though, she confessed her feelings for me after you left."

"She'll be hurt, Azdrian."

"She won't. She has Cliff now."

"Y-Your parents?"

"I'll bring you to them tomorrow...only if you won't pursue your plan to go back to Japan."

Kinagat ko ang pang-ibaba kong labi bago kumalas sa aming yakap. "Hindi na..."

"Good..." Azdrian's eyes twinkled. "Am I still your savior, baby?"

Nakangiti akong tumango. I always call him like that before for an endearment because if it was not for him, I might have died from the car accident. And for the second time, he never failed to save me from my suicide attempt. He is indeed a savior. My savior.

"Very good. Three years are enough. I'll marry you one of these days, my Sunlight. I love you..."

Nangilid muli ang mga luha ko. "Thank you for waiting, My Savior. I love you, too."

Nagdaan man ang maraming taon na hindi kita nakasama, nandito ka pa rin sa puso ko. Kilalang kilala ka nito dahil sa ilang beses mong pagligtas hindi lang ng buhay ko, kundi ng sarili ko ring pagkawasak. Ikaw ang kalahati ng kabuuan ko at hangga't nandito ka sa tabi ko, buo ako. Buong-buo ang puso ko para mahalin ka, Azdrian...

WAKAS