By the time I get home, it's almost noon. Truth to be told, I didn't leave Russia's house until ten, and I did have to walk home, but I'm still surprised. Russia did offer me a lift home, actually, but I declined. I've accepted enough from him already.

I open my front door, hang up my coat and then go into my kitchen. Despite eating with Russia only a few hours ago, I'm still starving, so I grab some bread from the cupboard and stuff it in my mouth. I have a weird, probably unhealthy obsession with bread, but oh well. I'm still chewing when there's a knock in my door.

I go to the door and open it. Outside is Hungary, looking faintly amused.

"Hey," I say. "You wanna come in?"

She ignores the question but comes in anyway. "Russia," she says.

"What about him?" I ask, trying and failing to sound casual. She just rolls her eyes.

"You went to his house last night, didn't you?"

I swallow. "How did you know?"

"Switzerland was kicking up a fuss because someone had been tramping through his land. He told Austria, who told me, and I went to go and see what had happened. On the way back, I saw you walking away from Russia's house. Explain."

I sigh. There's no use lying, she's very perceptive, and, anyway, she's my best friend. "All right. It just kind of.... Happened, you know?"

"Right..... You just happened to be with Russia and you just happened to spend the night with him?"

I go red. "It wasn't like that! I left Germany's house.... And then I got lost. So I was wandering around, and I must've strayed into Russia's territory. He ended up knocking me out with his pipe."

"What!?! Where is he?" yells Hungary, jumping up. Oh Jesus, here comes the frying pan. I put my hand on her arm.

"It's ok. Look, he didn't mean to. Anyway, he was sorry about it, he apologised, and he offered to let me stay. Which I did. Mainly because I didn't want to make him angry."

"Yeah, but..." She smiles slightly. "You like him, don't you?"

I blush. God, I'm so bad at hiding my feelings, it's ridiculous. To be honest, I don't know what I feel about Russia. I think he likes me, in his way, but I don't know if he likes me, if you get what I mean. "I don't really know," I eventually say, shuffling my feet.

Hungary laughs. "You're so bad at this! Does he like you?"

"I don't know. Anyway, we've got a world meeting next week, I'll try and speak to him them.

She nods. "Yeah, that sounds good." She pauses. "How come you left Germany's house?"

I cringe. "I... Uh, we had a falling out."

"What about?"

"They were trying to be nice, him and Gilbert. Ludwig basically just told me that I should be less trusting, I was getting paranoid about my situation, and they said that, and I guess I took it the wrong way."

"Wait a minute. Your situation?" she asks, looking confused.

"I don't know who to trust, and I'm having trouble running my own place. It wasn't too hard before, England did most of it for me, and Germany helped me, but now, I guess I'm finding it hard."

Hungary shrugs. "I can help out, if you like."

"Nein, that's not it. I can't have help, I need to do this alone, you know? I've got to learn to do it on my own. No offence."

She sniffs, but she's not annoyed. She's too sensible for that. "That's ok. I understand that."

I nod. "So you see? I can't get help, I need to do this on my own. The other countries already think I'm weak."

Hungary frowns. "That's not true."

"Ja, it is. They think that the only reason I'm reasonably powerful is that my brothers have always helped me. They're probably right."

"Ok, who has actually said that?"

"Germany and Prussia as good as said it."

She looks at me, disbelieving. "Did they actually say that, or did you just jump to conclusions?"

I bite my lip. "Maybe?"

She sighs. "Deitich, you can't keep doing this. It's not good, and anyway, you know they don't mean it. Germany wouldn't say that about you, and neither would Prussia, even though he is an idiot."

I shrug. "I guess?"

"Exactly. Anyway, I've got to go. But I'll see you next week."

"Next week?" I ask, confused. Hungary rolls her eyes.

"World meeting, remember? You said so yourself."

"Oh.... Ja, sorry."

"Anyway, see you then." And then she's gone and I'm left none the wiser.

I don't understand. Germany says that I'm vulnerable, but most other people don't seem to think that. I should've asked Russia; if there's anyone who knows about power, it's him. Then again, maybe not. He's ended up with a lot of power, but no friends (not any that don't fear him, anyway) or close family. Ukraine talks about him quite a bit, but you can tell that they barely speak. Which is sad, really. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have Ludwig and Gilbert to talk to.

Which reminds me. I need to call or go and see them. I can't leave it like this, they're probably annoyed with me anyway.

And so, this is how I find myself trudging down the road at about half past twelve, dragging my boots through the snow, trying not to turn back, even though it's incredibly tempting. I turn up my collar from the wind and try to think about what I'm actually going to say to my brothers. I can't exactly just waltz in and expect them to forgive me, because that's not how it ever works in my family. At the very least, not with Germany. Prussia I might be able to get away with, but.... Nah.

I suppose I could tell them the truth. In fact, that's probably advisable, so I really should. Then again, what actually is the truth? That I thought they were saying I was weak, so instead of trying to talk to them like a normal person, I instead stormed off? Yeah, sure, Sophy, that's really going to go down well.

Anyway, by this point I'm nearly there, and I've still got no idea what I should say to them. I sigh. One thing I am absolutely not going to tell them is that I spent the night at Russia's house. That would not go down well with either of them. I think Germany would probably flay me alive, lock me up in a tower for a thousand years and kill Russia, and God knows what Prussia would do. Probably the same, actually.

So I find myself standing outside Ludwig's front door, trying to pluck up the courage to knock on the door. I bite my lip. This is hard, much harder than it should be. In fact, I'm actually about to leave like the coward I am when I somehow manage to lose my footing  and bump hard into the door. It's probably the ice, but no matter. Because I've made such a noise now that unless Ludwig has magically gone deaf, which is unlikely, he will have heard me. And now I have to knock.

So I do. No sooner has my knuckle left the door's surface, it opens, taking me completely by surprise. Germany's standing there. He looks surprised when he sees me there.

"Deitich! I didn't think-" he trails off, looking confused.

My mouth goes dry. I had a sort of speech planned (kinda) but now I'm actually here, I have no idea what to say. "I....." I swallow and try to get a grip on myself. He's your brother I think to myself. He's not going to kill you.

Although if he knew I'd spent the night at Russia's.....

"I w-wanted to apologise for last night," I eventually manage to get out. "It was rude. And it wasn't fair on you and Gilbert after he'd come to see us. I'm sorry." I look at the floor. Damn, this is hard. I look up and see Ludwig nodding.

"I understand. However, you have to promise that you won't do that again."

I nod. "I promise." I'm shocked. Am I actually going to get away with this?

"It's dangerous for you to be out alone at night. Especially in weather like this. Things look different at night and you could get lost. Also, your place is uncomfortably close to several-" he sighs "- countries with questionable motives."

No, I didn't really think I'd get away with it. Now we're going to stand here for eternity while he lectures me. Which is better than us not talking, but still.

And I have no doubt that when he says "countries with questionable motives" he probably means Russia.

"I know very well that you are more than capable of looking after yourself, but you never know what could happen. Sadly, there are countries bigger and more powerful than you, and not all of them mean good." Again, he's talking about Russia. Geez, I know Russia's supposedly "bad news"; can we please stop talking about this now? Although, it's not really talking, it's more me nodding and promising random things while he lectures me more. What fun.

So I kind of tune out for the rest of it. It sounds rude, I know, but I barely slept last night (who am I kidding, I didn't sleep at all) and I'm just not in the mood.

"Anyway, would you like to come in?" Oh. I guess the lecture's over. For now.

"Um, ja, thanks." I say. I step inside and take off my coat and boots, shaking the snow from my hair. It's late November, nearly December, but it's already very cold. God knows why.

"Where's Prussia?" I ask.

"He's out," says Germany shortly. I don't know if he's still annoyed at me or what, so I just shrug and stifle a yawn.

"Are you tired?" asks Ludwig. I stop mid-yawn (if that's even possible) and nod.

"Ja, I just didn't sleep too well last night," I say. Correction: I didn't sleep at all last night.

He frowns. "That's not good. Are you-"

I sigh. "Ludwig, I'm fine, you don't need to worry. I'm ok, trust me."

He nods. "As long as you're sure."

"I'm sure," I promise. "Anyway, are you doing ok?"

"Fairly. Remind me to mention the gas crisis at the world meeting next week."

"Huh? What gas crisis?"

Germany looks at me oddly. "The gas pipes coming from Russia. There been problems with supply. You get it from him, don't you? Haven't you experienced any problems?"

"Nein, not at all. Have others?"

"Ja.... I haven't, but other countries have." He frowns.

"Well.... I don't know, then."

Germany thinks for a moment. "How often do you speak to him? Like, what's your relationship with him?"

I swallow. Why does he keep asking me about Russia? What am I supposed to say? "Not very often. Just for the gas deals when he asks me for the money.... I barely know him." I hate lying to Ludwig. He's good at spotting people when they're not telling the truth, but thankfully, I'm quite a good liar. I can't tell him that I have.... I don't know. I'd say I have feelings for Russia, but I'm not sure. I don't know myself, so how can I explain this to Germany? I couldn't anyway, he'd kill me.

He nods. "All right. But I need to make something happen."

What can I do now?