"Jo?"

"Huh?" I asked.

"You kinda zoned out. Are you okay?" Darry asked. We were at the gym working out like we did most Saturdays.

"Yeah just thinking," I replied while pulling myself up to do another pull up. "You think there's a reason Sodapop hasn't asked me to be his girl yet?"

"I don't know," he said in one harsh breath after dropping the weights.

He was working on bench press while I stood casually with my hands on both sides of the pull up bar.

"I know he likes you a whole lot. You should just ask him." He laid back down on the bench to do his next set.

"Well what if I ask and he tells me he's just not ready and then I made things weird. I mean we've been going out for two weeks. Maybe that's just not enough. I don't Darrel, I'm knew to all this." I sat down on the very end of his bench and he dropped his weight on the racks again. He sat up so we were facing each other. He could tell I was worried.

"You haven't ever dated anyone before Jo?"

"No Darry I've never even gone on a date with anyone besides Soda," I confessed.

"Really?" He asked in disbelief. I threw my hands up and got up but Darry grabbed my waist and pulled me back to my seat.

"Will you calm down Jo. It ain't a bad thing. I just think it's funny that a pretty little soc like you had her first kiss with a grease like Sodapop," he laughed but I didn't. I just kinda glanced off nervously.

"Well, I didn't say I hadn't ever kissed anyone," I said quietly. Darry raised his eyebrows.

"Look Darry if I tell you who it was you gotta promise it stays between us okay?" I was worried about Sodapop finding out. I didn't know what he'd think.

"I won't Jo, but why does it matter?"

"I don't want Soda to find out," I said.

"Why would he care? He's kissed other girls Jo I promise," he spoke reassuringly as of it would make me feel better.

"Yeah but his first kiss wasn't with my little brother," I said giving away my answer. Darry's  eyes widened and his jaw dropped. Then the ends of his mouth turned into a smile and he let out a laugh.

"You and Ponyboy!" He yelled.

"Shhh!!" I commanded harshly. We weren't alone on the gym after all.

Darry's face was lit up like a tree during Christmas. I somehow always brought this side out in Darry. He seemed to somehow always be a twenty year old and not a fifty year old when we were together.

"Man I can't believe it! Did he kiss you?"

"Yeah," I answered softly.

"I wanna know the whole story!" My eyes widened slightly as I realized that the whole story involved him. Me telling Ponyboy I would date him.

"No," I said and tried to walk away once again but history repeated itself.

"Come on," he begged.

I rolled my eyes and stuck my pinky out. Darry quickly wrapped his around mine in a confident promise that he'd never speak of what I was about to say.

"Okay, so Pony asked if there was anybody in the gang I liked at the time. I said not really but there were a few I'd go on a date with if they asked-"

"Who?!" He asked interrupting me. I scrunched my nose showing I was irritated with his child like behavior.

"Come onnnn, I won't tell!" He pleaded.

I sighed. "Dally, Soda and You," I mumbled so it was barely audible.

"Huh?" He asked.

"Dally. Soda. And You." I spoke through clenched teeth.

This time his face lit up even more and he threw his head back and laughed. I couldn't help but grin a little. It was nice seeing Darry this way.

"You would have gone out with me?" He asked still smiling.

"Yes, and right now I'm not sure why," I said sarcastically. "Do you want to hear the rest?"

"Yes, sorry go ahead."

"So I told Pony and then told him he used to be on the list too but I took him off cause we had gotten so close. Then he said that all of you guys liked me but Soda would be the first to ask me out so if I liked you or Dally more I should make the first move. So then he asks me if I had ever kissed anyone and I said no and all the sudden he kissed me. He said that if I was gonna date one of his brothers he wanted to make sure I was his first kiss. In case Soda or one of the other guys ended up being my last."

Darry had stopped smiling and was now focused on the story. He was genuinely interested. And I could tell he was still shocked about the many secrets I had just let out of the bag.

"Wow, I can't believe Ponyboy kissed you," he said.

"What?" We heard someone say behind us. We turned around and I felt my stomach ball up. "Ponyboy kissed you?"

"Sodapop I can explain," I started but he turned around and stormed off. I looked at Darry scared and not sure what I should do.

"Go," he ordered and without any more hesitation I ran after him. It was starting to rain. Great.

I wasn't good at saying things. I never knew what to say and when I did I never knew the right moment.

"Soda!" I yelled. The rain came down harder quickly.

"Soda please listen to me! It was before we went out!" I yelled as I got close to him.

"It doesn't matter!" He yelled back. "My little brother obviously feels something for you! I can't deal with that!"

"No he doesn't! He kissed me so he could be my first because he thinks you're going to be my last!" I yelled over the sound of the rain pounding on the side walk next to us.

He turned and looked at me. I could my hair was flattening from the rain and I was beginning to look like a mess. He shook his head like he didn't believe me but just looked at me for a second longer. Then he turned back toward his house.

"Soda!" I yelled and he turned around and before he could say anything I threw my arms around him and kissed him. This wasn't like our other kisses. It was different. It was demanding and promising and I knew in that moment that he was it. Sodapop was the one I wanted. He would be my last.

"Be my girl," he said only a few inches from my lips.

"Only if this is forever," I negotiated. "I'm your brothers best friend and I'm too involved in your friend group to leave now. So if we do this I can't handle the thought of breaking up," I looked at his beautiful eyes. "Tell me this is forever."

"This is forever," he promised. I smiled and pulled him back in. That day, in that rain, with that boy, I felt immortal. I felt like forever was real and I know that with him it is.

It hasn't been long enough for me to think, nevertheless say. But it's true. I won't tell him yet, but I love him. I'm in love with him.