THE SUN HAD JUST BEGAN TO SET AS RILEY took a sip from her beer. It was barely past five and yet the Teller woman was on her fifth beer, drinking had become a way for her to numb her feelings since Jax's death a month ago. Hell, if she were being honest she started drinking in excess to numb the feelings earlier than that.

If she had a normal life or a normal family she might have sought therapy for all of the emotions that run rampant through her body but, she was a Teller and Teller's didn't do that therapy bullshit. So, drinking is what she did to help keep the feelings of regret, sorrow, and anger at bay.

A knock on the front door pulled Riley from getting too deep into her thoughts, she rolled her green eyes figuring it was just Happy having forgotten his key. Riley and Happy's relationship was odd to most, they were best friends yet he had a key to her house for years and while the line of friendship had been crossed plenty of times the two never wanted anything more. Happy never wanted an old lady and Riley never wanted to be one. They were okay with what they had.

It felt like yesterday when Jax threatened Happy not to break his baby sister's heart and all Riley could do was laugh, because honestly if anyone was going to break someone's heart it would be her. She was terrible with relationships and everyone knew that. Any boyfriend she had ever had she broke off with before it could get too serious. Happy was the only guy who ever stuck around and it was because they weren't anything — just two people who needed each other.

The brunette stood up from the couch slowly bringing her half empty beer bottle along with her. She'd be on her sixth beer soon enough and Happy wouldn't say anything but he'd be disappointed in her. Disappointing people is all Riley seemed to be doing lately. The club couldn't be around her much anymore because of her drinking which she didn't mind she didn't want to be around them either. They only reminded her of her brother and that pain was too much for her to bear.

"Hap, I told— Marcus?" Riley's eyebrows furrowed as she stared at the Mayans President with shock crossing her face.

The last time Riley had seen Marcus Alvarez was about a month ago when he came to say goodbye to Jax. She had thought that would be her last time seeing him too.

"Hi, cariño." Marcus spoke with a tight smile as he eyed the beer bottle in Riley's hand. "Can I come in?"

A sigh escaped Riley's mouth as she ran a hand through her hair, thinking over his request. She knew her house was a mess littered with empty bottles of alcohol, Happy had tried to keep the house clean due to his OCD but it was pointless. It just became a mess again the next day.

Riley nodded and stepped aside to let the Mayan President inside, clearing her throat from embarrassment as she noticed his eyes scan the living room. It was embarrassing living like this, but Riley couldn't bring herself to really care. She hated it yet she didn't care. Every day was a chore to just wake up and every day was a reminder that she was alone without her family in a fucked up town that she hated. Alcohol was the only thing that got her through the days — it had become a constant need for her.

"Um, sorry about the mess. I wasn't expecting company." Riley apologized as she quickly began picking up empty bottles from the floor.

Marcus watched as Riley hurriedly began to pick up the empty alcohol bottles that littered the floor. He had heard from Chibs and Happy that her drinking had gotten worse since Jax, but seeing it for himself he could see that SAMCRO was still being nice with their words. This wasn't just worse this was fucking terrible. Marcus could see why Jax had given him a letter asking him to keep an eye on the youngest Teller and take her away from Charming.

"Don't worry about it." Marcus assured her with a soft smile. "I just came to see how you're doing? I know it's been a month." His voice was soft as he walked towards the brunette, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Riley stopped moving at Marcus' words, his large hand on her shoulder felt like a claw. She knew it was meant to be comforting but right now it felt anything but.

"Yeah. I'm doing great." Riley spoke with sarcasm dripping from her words as she motioned towards the empty alcohol bottles that filled her arms. "My brother drove head first into a semi truck and left me all alone. I'm fabulous." A sarcastic smile broke out across her face.

She knew Marcus went well and she appreciated it, really she did but, he was interrupting her drinking time and it was making her angry. He was asking her questions that would make her feel things and that was the last thing she wanted. Riley had shut off her emotions awhile ago, she didn't need them anymore.

A sigh left Marcus' mouth as he pulled an envelope from his kutte, his brown eyes staring at Jax Teller's handwriting across it. "Here." Marcus held out the plain white envelope towards the brunette. "I want you to read this."

Riley stared at the envelope in Marcus' hand. She could make out Jax's handwriting across the front of it just like the one he had given her that she had yet to open and read.

"No." She shook her head. "I have my own that I've yet to open and read. I don't want to read yours too." Riley's voice was firm as she turned on her heel and walked into the kitchen, placing the empty bottles in the sink.

"You Tellers are all stubborn." Marcus shook his head.

"Yeah, we die bloody too." Riley retorted with a humorless laugh.

Marcus shook his head. It was going to take more than just one visit to get through to Riley and keep his promise to Jax. He placed the envelope down on the table before exiting the house without another word, leaving Riley Teller to her own drunken sadness.

_____

RILEY STARED AT THE ENVELOPE WITH HER NAME scribble across it as she drank another beer. It had been taunting her for a month now — ever since Jax first handed it to her. She couldn't bring herself to read it, fears of what was written on that piece of paper plagued her mind for weeks.

Was Jax mad at her, upset, disappointed? Did he hate her because she didn't leave Charming with Nero, Wendy, and her nephews? Riley didn't want to know. She didn't want to read her brother's last words — they would only cause more pain.

She did know Jax would be disappointed in her if he were alive today to see her drinking her life away. He never wanted this for her — he told her that repeatedly, but he was also the one who did this.

A sigh left her lips as she reached forward, grabbing the envelope with disdain. Her green eyes closed for a moment before she finally ripped open the envelope and pulled out a single piece of lined paper. Her eyes roamed the letter with Jax's handwriting, tears quickly gathering in her eyes as she read and reread the letter.

Riley read it one last time before folding it and placing it back in the ripped envelope, her eyebrows raised with curiosity as she noticed something else inside, pulling out the unknown object, a sad smile formed on her face as she looked at the photo of Jax and herself with her beloved old dog, Rufus. It had been taken years ago and she honestly had forgotten about it until now. The Teller woman wiped at the tears that fell from her eyes and quickly placed the photo back in the envelope as well.

Maybe Jax was right. Maybe Santo Padre would be nice.

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AN —
okay so there will probably be one more chapter of Riley in charming before she officially gets to Santo Padre! Thank you for all the votes and comments!