March 15, 2021

"And in spite of everything, she left me!" Namjoon stared intently into his glass, his head bobbing uncertainly from left to right. The bartender, who was calmly drying the freshly washed glasses, shook his head sympathetically.

"Did I tell you we're having twins? Areum and Narun? Huh?" the bartender shook his head. "She named them that" Namjoon smiled sadly, taking a sip of the whiskey, but he couldn't quite hit his mouth and a small trickle ran down his chin.

"Come on, Namjoon, let's get you home" he turned and tilted his head, leaning back to focus, sobbing, his body went limp and he slid down the bar. "For God's sake, Namjoon!" Seokjin grabbed him across the chest, trying to hold his friend's much larger body.

"No!" Namjoon jerked to his feet and Seokjin almost lost his balance. "You..." Namjoon pointed at him, glaring at him. "You helped her..." Namjoon accused him, barely able to stay on his feet. Seokjin sighed, shaking his head.

Despite Namjoon's attempts to patch things up with Ari, a month after Areum was also discharged from the hospital, she packed her and the twins' things and left the mansion and Namjoon.

Now, she was living in one of Seokjin's apartments, which was why Namjoon was pointing fingers at him, thinking that his hyung, the person he trusted the most, had helped his beloved woman leave him.

Ari let him see the twins, who were now almost three months old, but when this happened she would leave the apartment before Namjoon arrived, leaving the twins with their nanny Tori.

Ari's adamant refusal to see Namjoon ruined Bangtan's devil, just as Binna's death failed. He literally got drunk, making Seokjin and the others go around the bars every night to get him.

And when he wasn't drunk, Namjoon chased Hyo and Lisa like a hound, but so far they hadn't managed to catch them, the bastards were as slippery as eels.

"Come on, Joonie, it's time to go, you don't want Ari, the twins or Izeul to see you like this do you?" Jin asked softly and Namjoon chuckled finishing his drink. "She hates me, hyung, my world hates me!" Namjoon yelled, slamming the glass on the bar.

"She didn't betray me, I betrayed her, Jin! I killed her love, almost killing her and my children!" Namjoon cried and Seokjin shook his head. "I know, bro, I know, but she'll still forgive you someday" Seokjin tried to pick him up again, but Namjoon pushed him away.

"Namjoon, listen to me, Arie still loves you, she's just offended and hurt" Namjoon's head jerked up. "She...loves me?" he asked and Jin nodded, smiling confidently. "Did she tell you?" Namjoon asked again, so hopeful in his voice and eyes that Seokjin felt a lump in his throat.

"Did he pay his bill?" Seokjin turned to the bartender who shook his head indifferently. Jin sighed and reached into his pocket, handing some bills to the man who tried to give him change, but Seokjin already had another problem.

"Shit!" he grunted in exasperation, heading for the exit. Namjoon was nowhere to be seen, and judging by his condition, he wasn't likely to get far. Cursing under his breath, he quickened his pace, but Namjoon wasn't even in front of the bar.

Ari stood up irritably, putting on her robe and hoping that who had been leaning against the bell wouldn't wake the twins. She looked nervously at the sleeping babies before she hurried to the door. 

"Namjoon?" she gasped, opening the door. Namjoon was resting on his hands on either side of the frame, leaning heavily forward, swaying like some kind of doll or something.

He looked up and Ari stepped back in startle. "Namjoon, what are you doing here at this time? Are you drunk?" she asked and he tilted his head slightly. "Hyun Ari! The love of my life, the woman who destroyed me? You're....here!" Namjoon muttered and Ari lowered her eyebrows.

"What are you doing, Namjoon?" she sighed, reaching out to grab him as he swayed. "Ari? Honey, do you know I love you?" Namjoon cooed, relaxing on her shoulders. Ari gritted her teeth, every time she heard those words in the past months, her heart bled and she felt almost physical pain.

"Namjoon..." she took in a sharp breath, his arms trailing down her back and closing around her waist, pressing her against his body. "Forgive me, my love, or kill me" his drunken slur sent his breath down her neck and made her shiver.

"Exactly!" he stood up abruptly, drew his gun and handed it to her, turning the muzzle to his forehead, falling to his knees before her. "Kill me, let it not be only my heart and soul, kill me, baby, finish what you started!" Namjoon smiled softly, looking up at her.

"Kill me or I'll do it myself!" his voice shook and tears began to stream down his face. "Please, my love" her eyes filled with tears as she listened and watched his pain.

"Finish me, baby!" Namjoon whispered screaming, sobs breaking out of his chest, this was Ari's first time seeing him like this, not the tears, he was crying, crying like a child, looking at her pleadingly and with so much love.

"Namjoon, the world doesn't end with one love, you'll find..." he shook his head jerkily, pressing her index finger to the trigger. Ari took a deep breath, trying to free herself from his grip. As much as she hated what he did, as much as she didn't want to forgive him, she still loved him with every fiber of her being and seeing him like this made her wish she was in his place.

"The world may not end, baby, but you are my world!" he rested his forehead firmly against his muzzle and closed his eyes. "You don't understand, do you? You think I'm obsessed with you, overprotective and possessive?" Ari bit her lip, taking in every word he said.

"What would you do if you owned something so precious, so beautiful that the whole world wanted it? What would you do if you owned something that filled your life, that was the light of your day, the stars that light your way at night ?" Namjoon sighed, sobbing, gripping her fingers tightly.

"How would you act if you knew you had someone like that by your side? If you knew you were a monster who didn't deserve him, if you knew all you did was hurt him, day after day?" Ari gasped, no one had ever spoken to her like that. She knew Namjoon loved her, but she hadn't realized until now that his love was no less strong than hers.

She had been avoiding him for months, hurting them both, thinking that the hatred of what he had done could replace the love and need she felt for him. And during the day it was exactly like that, but in the evening when she was alone with the twins, when she looked at the pictures the boys sent her, the times when Namjoon came to see their children. All this brought back the love and loneliness, reminded her how cold and empty the bed and her life were without him.

She didn't deny her pain and offense, she didn't deny that she couldn't forgive him so easily, but she also couldn't deny that she loved him madly, that he and their children, all three of them, were the meaning of her life

Namjoon owned her soul, heart, and body, he was her knight, her devil, her novel mobster, the one who caused her the most pain and then healed her wounds with the strongest, most passionate, all-consuming love that anyone could even imagine.

Why had she ever imagined that they could live far from each other? Hadn't time proven to her that no matter how much they hurt each other, apart they literally destroyed themselves?

"You're not a monster, Namjoon" she fell to her knees beside him and he looked at her with the adoration that a praying man looks up to heaven. "If you're a monster, then I'm even bigger" Ari whispered, feeling his hands relax. She freed her fingers and dropped the gun, covering his face.

"I'm sorry baby! God, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I love you, I'm sorry, I don't know.... I didn't mean to... I would never hurt you... on purpose but he... Those words...the pictures..." he cupped her arms in his cheek, shaking with sobs.

"I'm sorry, I thought I could...but I can't do anything...I love you so much that....jealousy was eating me up and clouding my mind!" Namjoon kept apologizing and crying, and Ari felt like her soul was being ripped apart.

"Help me, Ari, kill me! Without you, I'm nothing, nobody, the air is poisoned, life has no meaning, food and water have no taste!" his voice trailed off and he slumped forward helplessly, his forehead hitting her chest.

"Namjoon, look at me!" Ari commanded softly and he looked up sniffling, his tears wetting her fingers and she gently tried to wipe them away. "If I kill you, how will I live without this toxic, jealous, obsessive love of yours?" she smiled slightly and he blinked, still sniffling.

"It's not easy for me, I don't know if I can forgive you, but I know I can't without you and your love, Namjoon" he was looking at her piercingly, for a second she even thought he was so drunk he passed out with eyes open.

"You...still...love...me?" Namjoon asked hopefully and she nodded with a soft smile. "You love Me?!" his voice rose slightly and he rose, towering over her, his eyes shining and his breathing quickening.

"I love you, but that doesn't mean..." her breath trailed off, the words lost, and she stumbled back. Namjoon pressed his lips to hers, pinning her to the floor, closing the door with his foot, his hands sliding down her body.

His tongue took over her mouth, silencing any protest, his body covering hers, relentlessly pressing against her, his hands mercilessly rejecting every obstacle in their path. Ari was panting, dealing with his cries and pleas was easy, but his touch and kisses, the passion, the rush of his desire, they ignited her blood and clouded her mind.

Tugging furiously at his clothes, she stripped him of his clothes with the same speed and lust that he tore at hers, her lips responding to his kisses, knowing that they had no choice, that it didn't matter what he did or would do, she was his, completely and alone his.

In Namjoon's alcohol-addled mind, she was the goddess who had agreed to save him, the one who had pulled the sword from his heart and allowed him to breathe, to live, to taste her sweet poison that was the reason he exists.

"I love you, baby, I love you..." he whispered as his lips trailed down her neck, marking his path, accepting her favor as an irreplaceable gift.

"God, I've missed you so much, my love! I love you!" he growled against her stomach, his tongue reverently tracing the scar low on her stomach, a testament that she had gifted him with the ultimate prize, the twins.

"Let me, my love" he looked up at her, she looked down at him and nodded slightly, her hips parting to make room for him. Namjoon smirked and his tongue took over the entrance to her folds, Ari writhing, moaning breathlessly, pressing his head against her wet opening.

Her hungry body didn't need much, the feel of his tongue moving in and out, licking hungrily at her wetness, his mouth sucking her hard and gently. Her moans caressed his ears, encouraged him, provoked his passion.

Her body shook and she twisted, throwing her head back, Namjoon gripped her hips hard and sucked her entrance, biting lightly. "Namjoon!" Ari moaned and squirted into his mouth.

With a satisfied growl, he licked his lips and rose, covering her again. Her eyes sought his, darkened with desire and lust. Namjoon kissed her, passionately, hungrily, roughly, mercilessly. She pulled him in and pressed, wrapping her legs around his waist, her lower body rising and he penetrated her.

"Damn, you're so wet, love!" Namjoon growled and moved, stretching the walls of her pussy. A small pained moan escaped her throat, and despite the intoxication, Namjoon tried to force himself to a slower pace.

"Can you feel me, love? You are the reason, you and only you!" Namjoon moaned softly, feeling the pressure of her pussy sucking the hard, tight velvet of his cock.

"Fuck me, Namjoon, please.." she writhed beneath him, begging, crying against his lips, leaving claw marks on his back and thighs, her teeth and lips marking his neck and shoulders. Their passionate fusion surpassed anything they had ever experienced with each other.

The pent-up need, the regrets, the pain of their separation, the strength with which their love bound them, all these feelings burst into colorful clouds, turning them into untamed animals whose only mission was to feel and possess the other.

Namjoon could feel her orgasm, his cum filling her womb, but he didn't stop. His movements became faster and more relentless. Feeling his body moving inside her again after all this time clouded her mind and Ari desperately clung to his shoulders, moving her hips against his.

"I love you, Namjoon!" Ari cried, his tongue darting out and challenging hers, his cock piercing her again and again, their sweaty bodies coming together and banging, making wet sounds that filled the apartment's foyer.

"You're mine Ari, I'll never...let you go again!" Namjoon growled, his cum mixing with her juices again. He rose up, pulling her with him, Ari settled into his lap, leaning back on her hands and began to ride him, feeling the sticky liquid from their orgasms slap with each thrust of their hips.

His cock quivered, her walls tightened, and she threw her head back, closing her eyes and moaning his name like a prayer for life. Namjoon sucked hard on one of her nipples, gripping her hips tightly as she rose and fell, taking him deep.

"Don't stop baby, god, I want you so bad!" Namjoon hissed and bucked his hips, his cock hitting the bottom of her core and staying there briefly, enjoying the thrill of her receiving womb.

Her movements began to slow and Namjoon wrapped his arms around her waist, heaving himself up without removing his cock from the softness of her pussy, her hips wrapped around his waist, her back hitting the wall and her nails clawing at his shoulders as he thrust hard , pressing her against his cock.

"Namjoon....I can't..." Ari moaned and he smirked arrogantly. "Don't mind, love, I'm behind you!" he growled and she moaned breathlessly, squirting with a cry, Namjoon plunged in a few more times roughly and his cum flowed deep as she was still riding the wave of her orgasm.

Her head rested on his shoulder and he held her close, wrapping his arms around her body and carrying her to the bedroom. She clung to him as she felt the mattress under her back. "Don't leave!" her eyes widened in horror and Namjoon leaned in, kissing her gently.

"Never again, love, I'm just going to get my clothes and look at the twins, okay?" Ari nodded, her eyes heavy and her body relaxed. Namjoon smiled, brushing a strand of hair from her forehead.

"I love you Namjoon" Ari breathed hoarsely. "I love you more honey, you have no idea how much I love you" he smiled and covered her with the blanket, standing up.

If Namjoon had known that to get her back he had to drink himself almost to death and cry at her feet, he would have done it a long time ago. Still feeling the effects of the alcohol, but now sober, he gazed adoringly at her face, lightly lit by the sunrise.

He knew it wasn't over yet, she wouldn't forgive him so easily, he himself found no reason to forgive himself, but tonight was a step forward.

Sighing, Namjoon walked back into the hall, picking their clothes up off the ground, his eyebrows raised at the sight of Ari's, he hadn't even realized that he had destroyed them beyond repair. Smirking, he walked back into the bedroom, pulling on his t-shirt and boxers, looked at the still sleeping twins, aware that they would probably wake up soon hungry and demanding attention.

Kissing their foreheads, he headed to the closet, opened it and rummaged through, pulling out a new pair of pajamas for Ari. Carefully, he slipped it on her, amazed that she didn't even move as he gently lifted her head and shoulders to slip her top on.

He climbed onto the bed and lay behind her, wrapping her body protectively close to his. Arie mumbled something and he smiled, he missed listening to her mumble so much while she slept. Wearily, he buried his face in her neck and relaxed, finally at peace since the birth of the twins.