"The worst Kind of Pain is when you're smiling just to stop the tears from falling!"

"How will I break the news to them Dadi? How?" Shyam's voice trembled.

"We have to, we don't have any other choice.I don't know how they will cope up with this huge loss all of a sudden.But telling them the truth is important as well.You know that, don't you?"

Shyam nodded grimly, his hand shaking.

"I will help you in this." They heard a voice from behind.

They turned around and saw her standing at the door step.

Shyam fumed.

"What the hell are you doing here and who let you in my house?" Shyam barked and he saw her eyes tear up due to his coldness.He turned his back to her and Devyani saw how he was trying to hold himself not to rush to her and hug her to stop her tears.She placed a comforting hand on his clenched fist and gestured him to calm himself.

"Shyamji I was..I just.." she stuttered and then flinched when he turned sharply to her and gripped her shoulders.

"Just shut up Anjali and get out of here before i do something which i might regret later.So just.get.lost." he gritted out and pushed her away from him, she staggered back but managed to steady herself.

"Shyamji. plea-"

"I SAID GET LOST ANJALI!"

She stumbled back as he shouted at the top of his lungs.

Tears was streaming down her cheeks unchecked.But she didn't made a move to leave.

Shyam was about to again pounce on her when Devyani grabbed his hand and stopped him.He closed his eyes to gather his scattered wits.

"Dadi, please tell her to leave." he whispered hoarsely swallowing.

"Shyamji please just listen to me once.Please I want to correct the things which got messed up because of me and.."

"And you think you can undo all the damage you had done." he asked sarcastically to which she gulped nervously.

"I know i can't undo all." she started but he cut her.

"You know that Anjali? That's so very high of you!" he mocked.

Anjali knew he wasn't going to relent so she took a deep breath before continuing.

"I know Khushi is with you." She came exact to the point.

Perfect silence filled the room.

"Shyamji, Chote hasn't come to Shantivan ever since...since that day when I told him everything and...I was so worried for him so I...went to the AR and got to know about his search for Khushi and one more thing..." She sobbed as she covered her mouth with her palm.

"He...he planned that accident to kill Khushi."

Two loud gasps reverberated in the room.

"But that was not all.. Khushi. She was pregnant then..and he knew. Chote knew but still he didn't back off and continued with his plan to kill her along with his child.He just wanted her to be in same condition in which I was before and he succeeded didn't he?" Anjali chocked on her words.

"The hell he succeeded.He made her condition more worse than yours!" shyam yelled.

Anjali's eyes widened.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh how innocent you are Miss.Anjali.Raizada." his voice was dipped with sarcasm.

"Want to see her condition huh and never mind I have another surprise for you there as well" with that he gripped her hand and dragged her from the room to the corridor and stopped infront of a room which was locked from outside.

"Here are your two surprises Anjali!" he announced as he pushed open the door wide and dragged her to the centre of the room and anjali had to cover her hand over her mouth to stifle the sob that was brewing inside her..but she didn't succeed and she fell to the floor before the bed and gasped audibly.

"ARRNAVVV!!!" someone screamed from the door, but it was too late as the bullet was already been shot..

All AR employees downstairs screamed as a gunshot voice reverberated in the whole office echoing from the cabin of their boss..followed by the crashing of the glass walls of the cabin.

Shyam stepped forward after recovering from the shock of the gunshot and rushed towards Arnav as the roof of the glass cabin was about to collapse as well as the remaining glass of the cabin were making the creaking sound and it was a matter of seconds that they will collapse along with its roof.

But Arnav seemed to have been in his own thoughts not moving an inch from the chair he was sitting with closed eyes as if awaiting for the death to swallow him in..

Due to shyam's shout, Raghu got frightened and instead of Arnav the bullet hit front glass of the cabin as he turned around startled to see who have shouted.

"RUN!" Shyam screamed at Raghu and he himself ran to Arnav and drag a dazed soul out with him just in the time when the cabin crashed in front of him and the staff looked on frightened seeing the collapsed office of their boss and then the state of ASR as if he didn't even registered what had happened.

"AMAN!" Shyam shrieked and he came running "Make sure this man(pointing towards Raghu) doesn't leave the office until i return and clear this mess of the cabin" shyam stated to which Aman nodded and left.Aman was unsure whether to follow shyam's orders or not but seeing the mess he shut up because what Shyam said was logical and ASR doesn't seem to be in a state of mind to pay attention to any of these things.

Shyam dragged Arnav towards the parking lot and pushed him against the car door

"What the hell do you think you were doing there Arnav?"

"Kill myself..I was trying to kill myself " he murmured not making any move to free himself from shyam's clutches.

"I expected better from you Arnav. Is this the way to repent the deeds you did huh?"

"Yes it is..I..killed her...almost...and when I will kill myself as well..We will be even.She...I..love her Shyam..I just...love her.." his voice came out as a plea as his eyes teared up.

Shyam didn't had anything to say here.Because what he said was true.He had truly killed her. But did he love her as he was saying? He wasn't sure about that. But the let it be and didn't correct him seeing his state.

Khushi was just alive as she was breathing but he had killed her soul and spirit.But he can't deny the fact that right now only he can help her in that state of hers.Only if!

"Arnav you aren't making sense here.Listen this isn't the way to handle things.You can't escape from reality like this.Just accept this and try to at least make things alright by..."

"Its too late now..She is...she is ..gone.." A tear slipped his eye.

Shyam left his collar and Arnav turned around.

"I...she.. her family took her away.They won't let me even see her after seeing what I did to her. I won't see her ever now.How will I live? How can I live when days and night all I do is only think of her and nothing else."

"I just wish Arnav you had showed this care to her when she was with you.If you had even showed her a single gesture of your love, she would have given you her everything. Thats how she is.." Shyam's words were direct gibe for Arnav.

He clenched his jaw and swallowed past a lump.

"I know...now" he breathed out "She has already given me her everything and I have slapped those all love gestures right on her face" he said in self loathing hating himself more and more with every passing minute.

'Hum ap se boht boht pyar karte hain Arnavji..Bohat se bhi zyada..Sab se zyada..Khud se bhi zyada..'

He then turned towards shyam and said so desperately that shyam had to held his breath to stop himself from gasping at the naked plea and pain in his eyes.

"Just one chance..that's all I am asking for.If i get one single chance I...promise I will make her forget everything..I will make it alright for her...I won't let her even shed a single tear...But I know, I know I don't deserve that chance nor do I deserve her.."

"Arnav, you need help...seriously" Shyam blurted out as he saw how vulnerable he looked.

"Yes, I do...Will you help me..Please.I know I didn't do anything good with you as well but just for the sake of old times.Please help me...I just...want to see her once..Please"

"Arnav I meant medical help..You need a psychiatrist."

"What? I am not sick!"

"Yes, you are not ill but you need to see a doctor otherwise you will go into a depression."

"WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?? I WILL BE FINE.I JUST HAD TO SEE HER AND I WILL BE FINE!!!" he shouted grabbing Shyam's collar.

"What is the guarantee that you won't hurt her again?"

"I love her dammit!"

"You loved her too when you made her life hell"

Arnav was speechless.How right his words are!

"Kill me!"

"Huh?"

"I said just kill me even if she shed again even a single tear because of me...All you have to do is just ...kill me and that's all." Arnav pleaded.

Shyam nodded now almost satisfied that he was sure that he won't hurt her again but the chance he is asking for, he has no right to give it to him because he has to earn it.

Taking a deep breath, he said looking in his eyes.

"Khushi is not with her family"

Startled Arnav could only gasp.

"But that receptionist said that her family, a man and a woman came to receive her than how.." his eyes widened as realization sank in.

"It was me and dadi" shyam stated as he saw the knowing glint in his eyes.

"That means.. she was.. she was..she was with you for a month.." he swallowed and his rage knew no bounds as he grapped him through his collar once again "You knew...you knew I was searching for her..You knew I was madly looking for her everywhere..You knew I was pining for her..Still you hid her from... from me..WHY DAMMIT?" he shouted, his eyes red with anger as well as unshed tears.

"Yes, I knew how much you were trying to search her but someone had to save her from a monster like you.Unfortunately I couldn't save her before, but now I could so i did what i thought was right." he stated calmly prying his hands off his collar.

"She is my wife dammit!" he shouted and then rubbed his hand over his heart to stop the pain which he was feeling right at the moment just like the pain he felt since she left or rather say he pushed her away..

"Yeah right, when had you considered her one? Don't say that things which you never meant.You married her for revenge and her being your wife was part of the game and nothing else."

Arnav took a deep breath and wiped a tear that leaked his eye.

"Where is she?"

"She is safe wherever she is.."

"Please...just...just tell me..Please.."

Shyam knew it was the right time to do for what he was here.

"I will take you to her" he saw Arnav was about to thank him but he cut her "But I have a condition"

"Whatever it is..I agree to it" Arnav said urgently.

"Listen what it is Arnav and then decide.You may regret agreeing to it later when you will come to know about it"

"Fast shyam..Just say it" shyam could see how desperate he was to see Khushi..

"You will help her to get better.She is not in a good condition..No let me complete..If she responded to you than I will let you stay there with her.Otherwise you will leave there and then."

"Who are you to decide on her behalf?" his arrogance was back due to the helplessness he felt at that moment.This man had his whole world..his Khushi with him and he was enjoying his vulnerability.

"I am no one but her friend.And believe me I know Garima Aunty and Shashi uncle.They would have taken the exact decision if they were on my place.Infact they will be here soon and I am sure they will agree with me on this.Now choice is yours.Agree to my condition and see Khushi or don't agree and you won't even get to see her ever!"

"I agree..I agree..Just take me to her please" Need to see her, make her fine overpowered his each and every thought and he begged shyam to take him to her.

"Ok.. come.." shyam sat in his car and arnav followed suit and he drove the car towards Jha's mansion.

On reaching the Jha's Mansion Arnav jumped out of the car even before it was stopped.

"Arnav, have patience.." shyam muttered but he was already out of the car before he could hear it.

Arnav ran towards the entrance and shyam had to run as well to keep up to his pace.Reaching the door of the mansion he saw Arnav started ringing the bell continuously without removing his finger from the button of the bell.He tried to say something but he cut him.

"Damnit! Why isn't anyone opening the door" he groaned frustrated muttering profanities under his breath.

Shyam continued standing besides him while Arnav continued ringing the bell not letting him say anything.

"Damn shyam, why isn't anyone opening the damn f**king door?" he almost yelled to which shyam sighed before answering.

"Because no one is at home" he replied calmly.

"What the..but then why have you brought me here? Where is Khushi? Can't she hear the bell?" he asked, his heart thumping loudly in his rib cage that he was scared it would burst out any second.

"You will get your answer soon Arnav.Now will you step aside and let me open the door?"

"Do it..do it fast" said Arnav urgently stepping aside.

As soon as Shyam opened the door, Arnav ran in and started shouting.

"KHUSHI...KHUSHI...KHUSHI..!!!!"

Shyam saw his agitation and need to see Khushi but he kept quite knowing that he wasn't going to listen until he quietens.

"KHUSHI..KHUSHI!!! WHERE ARE YOU?"

Silence.

"KHUSHI!! I know I did wrong but please come outside.I won't hurt you again.I promise.." he pleaded but got only silence in response.

When had you kept any promise with her that she should believe you?She must have heard you and maybe hiding somewhere to escape from you and your torture.His heart screamed from inside.

His eyes pricked and he swiped a hand across his eyes to stop the moisture to come out.

"Khushi!!!" he again bellowed "I know you don't believe me.I...I can..understand.Dekho Khushi, mai...mai tumhare wala promise karta hoon which you haven't broken ever..Dekho Khushi, pinky promise" he begged pinching his throat to promise her "Khushi..PLEASE!...KHUSHI PLEASE!!" he started yelling at the top of his voice begging her to listen but nothing worked she never came out of her hiding place as he assumed.

By now his eyes were full with unshed tears making his vision blur.

Shyam's eyes moistened seeing this but still he knew he deserved all that and much more..

"Arnav.." he started but before he could say anything else he saw him running from one room to another trying to find her, kitchen, garden, under the dining table, under the kitchen slab and everywhere downstairs but when he didn't find her he ran upstairs and started searching her there.

Shyam followed him behind trying to stop him to tell where she is but he shrugged him off and continued his search like a maniac.

He barged in every door but didn't find her until he reached a door which was locked from outside.

By now his vision was completely blur due to the tears gathered behind his eyelids.

His heart started galloping by now and he knew she was in there.

With that his anger and sheer rage came back with full force as he registered that shyam has kept khushi locked in a room.How dare he?

He turned around sharply and pushed Shyam against the pillar. "How dare you? HOW DARE YOU LOCK HER? I thought you cared...at least YOU cared for her.."

"I do care Arnav that's why I did it." he replied calmly shrugging him off.

"Enough of your shouts and pleading.Its time you get to know what you have actually did.Its time you actually see...Its time Arnav.." he said opening the door of the room "Its really right time for you to realize how you have brought hell from above the skies down here on earth..It's time for you to know that you actually are a devil...in the face of human.."

Saying that Shyam left a stupefied Arnav behind with his steps rooted on the entrance of the door.He could smell medicines odor as if its a hospital room.

You will help her to get better.She is not in a good condition...

He should have known..He should have.Though he had an idea she must be devastated and injured but he didn't even think for a second that she might be much worse than just that and this realization made him pause at the entrance.

Was he ready to see the affect or say result of his own deeds.Will he be able to handle it or not..He don't even know how he will face her after what he did...He is not only a destroyer of her whole being but also murderer of his own blood..his own child..

Forgiveness...He was sure he could never get and a chance he knew he doesn't deserve..

Blinking back the moisture he took one step forward only having one thought in his mind.

I will help her even if she doesn't want me to and after making her alright at least physically, I will leave...I won't force anything again on her..This time it will only be for her...solely, truly her..

Nodding his head he entered the room and gasped seeing the vision before him.

"No.." escaped his dry mouth as his breaths left him in a whoosh..

Its time you get to know what you have actually did.

There she was lying on the white bed sheets sleeping like a broken glass doll.But even in the sleep her face reflected pain and immense misery as if she was living a nightmare even in her unconscious state..

He swallowed past a cry of anguish.

Its time you actually see. Its time Arnav..

Her eyes were swollen, her face has numerous scratches and there were bandages on her head as well as wrists..

He gasped as his throat choked at what he registered next..

Its really right time for you to realize how you have brought hell from above the skies down here on earth.

Her hands were tied to the bed rest and so were her legs.

He took shaking steps towards the bed..

Its time for you to know that you actually are a devil...in the face of human..

With a painful growl he fell on his knees besides the bed.

'I swear di.I will make her pay.Main kasam khata hoon k us ka b wahi haal karon ka jo us nay ap ka kiya hai'

"I am succeeding Di.Soon she will be lifeless with died spirit.Alive yet dead"

Well done Mr,Arnav Singh Raizada..See you have succeeded..Actually i should say you have achieved way beyond you have planned..So why don't you get up and celebrate this victory huh?His subconscious mocked him..

"Please..just shut up" he pleaded the voice inside him to stop..

Ahan what please Raizada? Get up come on man...Celebrate your success...Ok! Why not throw a party or better enjoy your night with some hot chic...

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!" he shouted clutching the bed sheets as tears left his eyes.

"Sometimes what we see or hear isn't all true Arnav"

"If you are choosing to ignore the truth than its your mistake and yours this mistake will never let you live once you will finally realize the truth and I am afraid that day is not faraway"

"It...It hurts Arnavji..It really hurts..."

"I...am so..sorry.." he rasped as the dam burst and he cried and cried resting his head on the bed clutching the bed sheets in fists..

He cried and sobbed till he started hiccuping and then his tears got stuck in some corner of his throat as he looked up...

"K-Khushi.." he could only choke.

She was wide awake and was looking at him blankly.

"Khushi..Is..it ...Is it paining?" he asked hoarsely.

She didn't answer but her stare didn't waver.Unblinkingly, she stared which worried him..

What a question Arnav eh! Let me answer it...No.Mr Raizada.She must be feeling ecstatic with bruises and injuries all over and these ropes tying her like a prisoner..A voice again rebuked him from inside..

"I..I..am sorry..I.." he fell short of words and then stilled...

"Arn.." words got stuck in shyam's mouth when he entered the room and saw the scene unfolding before him..

Khushi raised her one tied hand and Arnav swallowed..

Her raised hand stopped at a few inches distance away from his face as the rope length was small to which her hand was tied.

He leaned closer and closed his eyes when her hand touched the side of his face..

His breathing labored as she ran her weak hand all over his face as if checking something..and then at last he felt her thumb caressing his jaw ever so softly...her touch was so fleeting...

A tear escaped his eye..

"Ham..ara bac..cha..?"(My baby?) she murmured painfully.He saw precursors of tears in her eyes..

That's when his endurance level reached it peak and he sobbed burying his face in her palm clutching her hand closed to his face..

He sobbed for her...for his own blood whom he killed...he sobbed for the future which they could have if this misunderstanding didn't have happened..

His cries came to a abrupt halt as she snatched back her hand ever so softly..

His heart clenched seeing her pulling away from him..

Sniffling he looked up at her and saw her closing her eyes and then within seconds she was asleep leaving him in the hell of his own making.

"This is the first time she hasn't screamed or tried to kill herself after waking up." Shyam revealed from the doorstep after witnessing heart wrenching moment just now between Khushi and Arnav.

"Kill? What do you mean?" a startled Arnav could only rasp.

"She wants to go there where her child is right now..She wants to die.." stated shyam calmly.

"She wants to die?" he repeated the words which closed like a noose around his throat and he coughed as his breathing became shallow..

"Awww so much love.You got me really wondering for a second that you actually love that thing more than me"

"But I know that you love me more than anyone...more than that thing,right?"

"She love him...more than me.." a bitter laugh left his parched throat followed by a bitter smile..

His smile stretched..and stretched and stretched till he was smiling widely..

"I..took him away..I took him away as well.." he laughed loudly..

"I took him away...her last reason to live..I killed him..I destroy..ed her" he laughed like a maniac..

Shyam stared at him horrified as he rushed towards him..

His condition terrified him.

"Arnav control yourself...Arnav stop laughing..ARNAV CONTROL YOURSELF!" shyam shouted shaking him..But he continued laughing repeating the same words..

"ARNAV!" he shouted and slapped him putting an end to his hysterical condition.

Shyam saw him go numb and in the next second he was in his arms sobbing on his shoulder..

"I..want her back..not in my life but...in her own life..I want her to be the same Khushi again which she was before her marriage to me...This...this Khushi...seeing her so..so..broken hurts even though i know...i know its all because of me...but she doesn't deserve this pain...she doesn't...Just do something...something...Ask your god to give all her pain to me...make her free of this hell..Please pray not for me but for her because all these pains should come to me not her...please not her.." he murmured the words and shyam rubbed his back controlling his own tears...

"She has responded to you...You can stay here with her..Help her to get better..." said shyam pulling back from the embrace to which he nodded his head feeling drained after crying very much and a roller coaster of emotions...

Standing at a distance devyani who had seen how Arnav had broken down in shyam's embrace, sighed painfully with teary eyes...

"It's not all Arnav..There is some more truths which will break you..It's just the start..Just a start..You still are unaware of affects your revenge had done to her." She whispered.

Anjali stared shocked ahead seeing the mess before her.

Khushi's condition and her Chote's.

Her muffled cries reverberated in the silent room.

Shyam clenched his fists seeing her broken down so painfully.

"When?" she asked in a low voice.

"Yesterday, I brought him here." he answered understanding what she was asking..

"And Khushi..?"

"A month ago."

She nodded and standing up limped towards the bed and another gasp escaped her when Arnav looked up from the sitting position..

"Chote.." She cried out.

His eyes were bloodshot his thick beard showed he hadn't shaved for weeks...

What pained her most was the pain and guilt in his eyes which all was due to her own foolishness.

"I succeeded. She is alive yet dead." he whispered hoarsely and smiled.

Her heart clenched at the sight of his eyes which pooled with unshed tears..

"Chote.." she raised her hand to touch his head..

"Don't touch me.." he shouted startling her..

"Chote..I.."

"Leave!" he yelled again..

She sobbed "Please Chote...I am sorry.." she touched his shoulder and he jerked her hand away..

"Leave me alone...Can't you hear a simple thing? Leave me alone!" he bellowed and Anjali ran out of the room sobbing loudly..and shyam followed closely..

"I messed up so much shyamji...Now I want to correct it atleast as much as I could..Please atleast let me try.." she pleaded as soon as she came out of the room..

Anjali saw him look away. After a minute he left after giving her a curt nod.

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