"Even the smallest shift in perspective can bring about the greatest healing." ~ Joshua Kai

Akash stood up eyeing the speechless Khushi and determined Arnav.

"Bhai.." Khushi called out catching his hand as he made to leave.

"You can leave Akash. I will take it from here." Arnav said grimly.

Khushi glared at him.

"I will come with you. I don't want to talk with him anymore." Khushi gritted angrily with tears pricking her eyes.

Her heart was galloping fast still due to their heated argument at the end of which he silenced her well by his few words and that scared her to be honest.

She doesn't want to be left alone with him.

She wanted someone to protect herself from falling into his web of words or so called lines of love and her being his world.

Like seriously?

As if she would believe that

A sensible part of her was asking her to accept the fact that she asked him to marry her again. He didn't come or propose her. She herself gave him what he wanted on silver platter as deep down she knew he would clasp at any opportunity to be with her.

Why she did that was another debatable topic and she could write an article on it. Of her feelings and emotions when she saw his fragile, weak body in the hospital bed after his suicide stunt.

"No you are not coming with me." Akash was stern this time and Khushi's face fell.

Seeing which Akash had to keep himself restraint from consoling her. But he had to if he wanted his sister to stop playing with her life like the way she was doing. Its high time she settle down in her life.

It's high time indeed!

Removing her hold from his arm he walked out of the door leaving her alone with Arnav who was observing her every action with his keen eyes.

No sooner did Akash left closing the door behind him Khushi rushed to run after him to leave too when she realized her jiju cum brother has locked it from outside on his way.

"BHAI! You... I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS FROM YOU!" Khushi yelled banging the door.

"HOW CAN YOU LEAVE ME WITH A MAN WHO DESTROYED ME?"

Akash sat in the living room with Shashi, Garima, Buaji, Payal and Shyam who heard her shouts worriedly but Akash and Shashi just gave them all an assuring glance.

Shyam prayed in mind that their setting turn out fruitful for Arnav and Khushi.

She kept banging the door until she had no strength left.

Neither Akash came nor any other family member to get her out of here while she kept calling out to all of them.

She threatened to never talk to them ever if they didn't unlock the door but even then no one budged.

By this time Arnav has settled himself on her bed and has made himself comfortable against the headboard and was looking at her struggling with the door, banging it, shouting for her family until she was exhausted and touched her head to the door and sobbed.

And that...he couldn't take at all.

"Itni mehnat mujhse door jaane k liye?(This much effort to go away from me huh?)" He added humor to his tone as if to mock her, instigate her.

She didn't reply but kept crying turning her face to the other side.

He swallowed.

"If you didn't want this then you shouldn't have married me." He said simply.

"Why don't you correct my mistake? Chod dijiye humein(Leave me)!"She shot him a look turning to him spitting fire at him.

He chuckled.

"I would've if you actually wanted that. The truth is you don't." He stood up and said it looking straight into her eyes.

Scratching his stubble he shook his head as she glared furiously at him with her eyes filled with tears and occasionally one or two would roll down. The sight was so endearing and soothing to his eyes that he almost reached to pull her in his arms and kiss away her tears and insecurities.

He let out a breath before saying.

"Khushi, come with me. Please. Don't fight it. I am not going back to Delhi without you and that's final. Neither arguments nor any tears of yours would change my decision."

"Why would they? After all you never cared whether I cry or break into pieces before your very eyes." She got back at him and hit him where it hurt the most.

"Its been 7 years Khushi. Seven fucking years!" He gritted reaching her in two long strides and yanked her in his arms.

"Leave me!" She pushed at his chest but he stood his ground. Leaving her now was out of question.

"Look at me Khushi. Look at me and see what I have become in your love. Don't you feel even a tiny bit pity on me?"

Khushi stared at him.

"Do you want me to pity you?" She let out a mocking chuckle.

"Yes do that. If not for my love then come with me feeling pity on my condition but either way just...just come...with me...please?"

"Why are you doing this to me Arnavji? Why? Why you are being on and off about our relationship? Can't you see I love you and I..miss you. Always." She cried out holding onto him desperately.

"Stop being clingy Khushi. Stop it. I am like this only. If you want to live with me then you'll have to get used to it.If you can't then its your problem not mine because I am not changing for anyone. Not even for you!" He jerked her away before storming off leaving behind shackles of a wounded fragile heart.

Now the same man was begging for her pity. Pity if not love. Who made an oath to never change. Never for her to be precise. If she has been the old Khushi she would've thrown herself in his arms and kissed him shyly but she wasn't and no one else but he, himself was to be blamed for it for taking away her carefree, selfless nature.

She let out a dry chuckle at the ironic situation.

Arnav kept looking at her face hungrily as if drinking in her every feature.

It was so...so very long since he held her this close.. Since he saw her this intimately.. Since he loved...her.

His eyes pricked. He pushed his emotions back as right now he has more pressing matter at hands.

To make her agree to go with him. If not forgive...accept him at least?

She was pushing him now to get free.

"Look Mr.Raizada, LEAVE ME. Remove your arms. You are suffocating me. ARNAV!" She yelled at the end wriggling.

"Say it again. Say my name." He said huskily in a barely audible voice creating goosebumps all over her skin.

She turned her face biting back the tears.

"Khushi we have already lost 7 years of our life due to my faults and sins. I won't let you destroy the remaining years of our life which we could spend together. I won't let you do the same mistake like I did. I won't let you push me away. Push us away."

"I-I have build my life here. I don't want to go anywhere now leaving my well settled life!" She exclaimed wanting nothing else but him to back off.

"Is that it? Just say the word and I will move in here. I will shift everything. My work, my business, my life from Delhi to Lucknow. I can do it. Just give me a few days and I will arrange everything for us. A new home, a new life...a new..chance at togetherness." He said unsure at the end looking at her face for the answers.

Khushi looked at him dumbfounded.

Was he this desperate that he would leave everything in Delhi and move into Lucknow?

A little crack in her resolve happened that moment only to be shunned by her...herself.

No Khushi. You can't be weak. Your motive is to make him feel pain not satisfaction.

Never satisfaction or peace. Never.

With a determined stance she said.

"I don't want you anywhere near me.Don't flatter yourself by assumptions. Whether you stay in Delhi or move into Lucknow doesn't matter to me. Suna apne? Humein koi farak nahi padhta(It doesn't matter to me)."

"Yeah I did.Fine. Ab mai tumhe yahan se le jaane ki baat tab karun ga jab mai sab kuch Delhi se yahan shift kar lun ga. Thode hi din hain tumhare pass, apni iss soch ko badal lo aur chup chap maire sath aa jana. Agar tab bhi tumhari zid na badli toh mai tumhe utha k le jaun ga par jaana toh tumhe pade ga maire saath chahe khud se jaun ya mujhe ghaseet k le jana pade.(Now i will ask you to come with me only after shifting everything from Delhi to here. You have just a few days, change your thoughts and when i say come with me then do so silently. If you didn't stop your obstinacy then i will haul you up in my arms to take you but either way you will have to come with me whether by yourself or by me dragging you out of here!)" Not Arnav but ASR gritted in an angry mode.

Her nostrils flared at his audacity.

"Hum bhi dekhte hain k kaise le k jaate hain aap humein yahan se. Haath bhi mat lagaiye ga warna hum apko jaan se maar dey gay!(I will see to it how will you take me with you. Don't even dare lay your hands on me otherwise i will kill you!)" She spitted out the words like venom.

He chuckled dryly tucking a strand of her hair at the back of her ear causing her to gulp.

"Jaan se maarna hai toh maar lena Khushi. Yaad rakhna agar maar na saki toh maire saath chalna pade ga. Aur mai jaanta hun k tum mujhe takleef mai dekh hi nahi sakti. Na tab dekh sakti thi na ab dekh pao gi. Yahin aik baat toh nahi badli itne saalon mai.(You can kill me for all you want Khushi. Keep it in mind, if you didn't then you will have to come with me. And i know you can't see me in pain. Neither you could see me hurt then nor you would be able to do so now. At least that haven't changed in years.)"

"Galat fehmi hai apki.Apko takleef mai dekhne k liye hi toh apse shaadi ki hai humne. Itna dard, itna dukh de gay na hum apko k apne kabhi humein bhi nahi diya hoga.(Its your misconception.I have married you to give you pain. I will torture you with so much hurt and ache even more than you had given me.)"

He smiled amused.

"Tumhari taraf se koi bhi cheez mujhe takleef kaise de sakti hai Khushi.(Nothing coming from you can hurt me Khushi. Nothing can). Anyways you are most welcome to bare me to pain. I won't complain."

Khushi huffed inwardly.

She wanted to break him. But here he was all fine. Very much content.

She can't let that happen.

When he married her he didn't let her be in peace.

Now when she had married him she want to pay back the restlessness to him which he gave her in those six torturous months of her life when he cut her out of the world and treated her like a sex object and cut her from her family as well and then killed her and her child at the end.

Tears gathered behind her eyelids.

Those wounds were still fresh, so raw that she bleed whenever she recall those memories.

Nothing could wipe out the torment of those six months. Of her longing. Of her suffering. Of her pain. Of her unending misery.

Arnav noticed the change of her expressions and he knew instantly what she was thinking.

She wants to continue the vicious cycle. Firstly he gave her pain. Now she wants to give it back to him.

This has to end if they want to live a normal life and for that he has to heal her wounds so that she could think beyond her broken self. To move on.

"Give me the permission to heal you Khushi. You set rules whatever you want me to do or not in this relationship I will abide by them but please...let me in your life. Give me a chance." He caressed her face.

"Shift to Lucknow if you want me to let you in my life." She mumbled without meeting his eyes slapping his hand.

He sighed in relief and slackened some of his hold on her.

Finally some sense got into her.

Or did it?

"Good decision." He whispered against her face.

She took advantage of his loose hold and pushed him away.

He shook his head.

"Wasn't it what you wanted Khushi? For me to come and get you? To go with me to live a new life?" He asked quietly.

She laughed sarcastically.

"I could want anything.. anything but that."

"Nevertheless you are.. mine now. MINE."

A certain possessiveness and protectiveness emanated from him engulfing her in its trance for a whole minute until she felt his breath on her face.

"Don't you dare cross your limits." She warned with her heart beating irregularly in her chest.

"I won't. Not until you don't want me to." He whispered gulping eyeing her lips with something akin to longing.

"Why do you think I'd ever let you come near me?" She gritted out.

"Not you. I am sure. But your heart one day would surrender. It would have to. I will make sure of it."

Now that made her scared. Hell one at that. And he saw it with satisfaction.

"Are you trying to scare me? Good try. Pity it didn't work." She has composed herself pretty good.

He smiled sadly.

She smirked which soon vanished when all of a sudden he caressed the back off his fingers fleetingly across her cheek before cupping it rubbing it with his thumb softly with such fervor that she felt tongue tied. Speechless. All over again.

"We would continue our verbal brawls some other time Mrs. Raizada as right now I have to go inform others of our decision. They must be worried." 

She didn't know why but she felt tears gathering behind her eyelids as he addressed her as Mrs.Raizada.

It wasn't that she was missing that title or was it?

He wiped the corner of her eyes. Cupping her other cheek as well he pressed his palms on either sides of her face as if to silently give her the strength to gather herself up.

She averted her eyes shrugging him off.

"I said stay in your limits." She hissed before turning her back to him.

"Khushi?"

She closed her eyes hearing his pleading tone.

"LEAVE. Or else I might change my decision to ever come with you." She barely spoke the words without stuttering as her throat clogged with needles prickling it.

Arnav bit his lower lip in an effort to restraint himself from breaking down.

Today he has come with a hope that he would take her with him and would have her besides him..by his side at least but now that hope was cut mercilessly he didn't know how would he go out of here and be without her one more day?

Another day?

He has thought his wait has ended but no. It hasn't. Upon that her obvious attempts to hurt him and eventually herself were taking a toll on him.

Suddenly he didn't know what came over him but he gripped her wrist and twirled her around to face him and stopped short seeing her face drenched in tears.

"I wish I could kiss away your tears. Your pain. But I know I am not allowed. Not yet." He croaked.

She sniffled.

"Let .. go of me." She whispered turning her face. Her heart felt too heavy at that moment. She felt drained of the strength to fight him.

"For now help yourself with this handkerchief of mine." He placed his handkerchief in her hand and closed her palm before tightly holding onto her closed fist.

"Until I would be worthy enough to do the honors of taking away your sorrows." He murmured resting her same hand on his chest before swallowing past a lump.

He exhaled after a moment as the atmosphere turned thick with gloom.

Khushi blinked back the tears before twisting her hand in his hold to break free. When she couldn't she glared up at him.

Looking into her eyes firmly, he brought her closed fist to his lips and kissed her knuckles. Her breaths got stuck up in some region of her throat.

"Happy Birthday Khushi Singh Raizada!"

His wish fell like an acid on her being burning her... suffocating her.

Slowly he released her hand but not before dropping another peck on her fingers.

He hasn't failed to notice her stance. She looked like she was hanging on the edge.

Any moment from now her knees would buckle up and she would breakdown.

So he retreated and gave her space.

It was enough pushing her for a day.

Now was the time to take his leave as he knew till he was here in front of her she won't show her weakness to him and she would suffocate from within if she didn't let it all out so he turned and left closing the door softly behind.

He leaned against the wall outside shutting his eyes tight as after a moment he heard the muffled sobs right after a soft thud indicating that she has fallen on her knees. Literally.

Not being able to bear her cries he almost went back in the room but stopped short as he saw through the creak of the door of her clutching the handkerchief close to her chest before she threw it with a cry to the far corner of the room with vengeance.

With a heavy heart he dragged his steps back to the living room of Gomti Sadan.

He left with Shyam telling her family about their mutual decision.

He started the shifting process and it wasn't that easy to be honest. In Lucknow AR had a well known branch but it was in Delhi where the head branch was established which controlled and assessed everything and it took him a month to make the necessary arrangements to shift the head office to Lucknow.

In this one month he stayed at his penthouse skipping the idea of staying in his ancestral home turned hotel, the Sheesh Mahal. He wasn't comfortable in that place anyways.

He would go to Gomti Sadan everyday to meet her, see her but she refused to come before him whenever he went there.

Hostility in Guptas with him has made his visits awkward at the start when Khushi refused to come out of her room and he had to sit with her Buaji, her Babuji and Amma in uncomfortable silences until he himself started making efforts to talk to her family in his visits.

Initially he would get clear cut rude replies from her Amma and Buaji but surprisingly the anger which Shashi had for him was not there anymore and he behaved cordially with him.

That was huge relief for Arnav as during his further visits even Garima Aunty, Buaji has started accepting his presence in their daughter life grudgingly as well. But neither of them forced Khushi to meet him. So everyday he would leave dejected pining for just one glimpse of her.

So she was still into her plan to destroy him. She can do so all she wants but at least come before him, give him a glimpse of her which will soothe that hurt in a second? He thought wistfully and it was at the end of the month when he caught the sight of her standing at her window looking down at him leaving after his usual visit.

She banged the window shut when he kept gawking at her with a plea in his eyes to end a bit of his miseries if not all.

Ho bethi rehti hai umeedein

Tere ghar ki dehlizon pe

Jiski na parwaaz khatam ho

Dil ye mera wahi parinda hai..

He was genuinely angry now. Very much to say the least. He did all this for her and now she refused to stay in this new home he bought for them in Lucknow.

She said she would live in Delhi.

What the hell?

What is she playing at?

With his sanity?

Because he sure feels like he will lose it if she continued her twisted plans to trouble him.

Where was that innocent, never the manipulator and bubbly , chirpy Khushi?

His Khushi?

Has he killed all those traits of her so brutally that now just a broken woman remained who knows just about pain, nothing else and that's what she endorsed to others. To HIM specifically?

He transferred all of the things from Delhi to Lucknow and now she wants to go live in Delhi?

After a whole month she said yes to meet him when he informed that all the arrangements were done for her to move in with him.

"But Khushi I have moved my head office to Lucknow now." He almost yelled frustrated.

"So what? You stay here. I will go to Delhi. Whenever you felt like come there to meet me."She said casually.

He felt like pulling his hairs out. He jerked her to him.

He closed his eyes exhaling before opening them praying for patience.

"Khushi. I did all this to be with YOU. And .. and you are saying that you will live in Delhi while I stay in Lucknow? What the fuck Khushi?"

"Fine then. Come with me to Delhi. Simple." She shrugged.

He gripped her upper arms tighter.

Anger coursed through him in waves.

She wants to play this childish game with him then fine. Let her. He will see to it how will she not move in with him.

Enough was enough!

"Neither I am going to Delhi nor are you. Samjhi tum? (Got it?)"

He has left angrily from Gomti Sadan that day without having the usual tea which Garima made for him.

Garima and Buaji looked at each other worriedly as they had heard all of what Arnav Khushi talked as they both were practically shouting their lungs out while Shashi was calm reading the newspaper as he knew what Khushi was doing and what would be its reaction from Arnav's side.

"Is there any progress?" Shyam asked to Arnav on the phone.

"That woman is mad! Crazy! Argh!" Arnav exclaimed angrily."I wish... I just wish..Uff!"

"What did she do?" Shyam asked surprised as it was indeed a news for him that Arnav was angry and that too on Khushi?

Huffing Arnav narrated everything to him and at the end of which Shyam couldn't help but feel worried too for them.

"What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know. If I shifted everything back to Delhi even then she won't come I know. She will ask me to shift it back to Lucknow and so on. She is such an obstinate... and adamant woman.Only if she knows that this is irritating me, frustrating me not giving me pain!"

Shyam chuckled.

Khushi's challenges were bringing back the liveliness in Arnav. He could sense it in his voice. Unknowingly, albeit trying to hurt Arnav, Khushi was doing a favor to him.

"Will you stop chuckling and give me some suggestion to get into her thick head?" Arnav said irritated.

"You do know what you have to do Arnav." Shyam said.

Arnav ran his fingers in his thick hairs.

"Only an option is left to make her come with me.What if her family didn't approve of it?"

"They won't interfere Arnav. Trust me."

"Okay I guess I will have to go through it then." Arnav sighed.

"Best of Luck."

"Thanks. I badly need it anyways."

The next day he was in Gomti Sadan early in the morning. Payal was staying over with Pari and she was sleeping with Khushi in her room when she heard the knock at the door.Unlike Khushi, she was a very light sleeper.Groggily she walked to the door before opening it and her sleep flew out of the window seeing Arnav and her Babuji standing at the door.

Her Babuji nodded and she stepped aside letting Arnav in who walked to the bed and carried the sleeping Khushi up in his arms silently and giving a nod to her Babuji Arnav went off buckling the sleeping Khushi in the passenger seat of his car.Her luggage was already loaded in the backseat.

"Babuji?" Payal turned to her father."Khushi would be so mad."

"I know." Shashi said."She needs to let all of it out and if she will vent it out on the person responsible for it then I am all game for it.He deserves it anyways."

"Did you talk to Akash about it?" Payal asked.

"Yeah. He knows. It was his idea." Shashi said before walking back to his room while Payal prayed in her mind for her little sister's happiness as she joined Pari in the bed.She needs to have a word with her husband when he will return from his official trip.

Arranging her clothes in the cupboard, he looked at her sleeping form sitting besides her on the bed...their bed, in their room, in their new home in Lucknow.He has bought the house near to Gomti Sadan so that she can meet her family whenever she wants. Unlike last time she would not have to pine to meet her family. He would make sure of it.

"But that concern will come later. Much later maybe." He muttered.

Firstly he will have to face her wrath for bringing her here with him while she was asleep.

But she didn't leave him any other choice. Did she? No right!

She stirred in her sleep before turning around and trailing her hands on the bed searched for something or someone in her sleep.

"Pari baby?" She mumbled in sleep and grabbed his hand in process and frowned as she felt the rough and big hand instead of Pari's soft, little ones.

She half opened her eyes and when she saw him before her sitting besides her, she shot up in shock. The sleep flew out of the window.

"What are you doing in my bedroom?" She yelled angrily.

"Look around first Khushi. Not yours, its our bedroom."

That's when she did notice the change in surroundings. The vast room, the brown drapes on the glass doors from which a lush garden can be seen, the king sized bed on which she was sitting now in the middle of the bed and he...he was sitting besides her and she...she was holding his hand.

She left his hand in a jerk before getting down the bed in one swift motion.

"What am I doing here?" She exclaimed.

"Now that's the right question." He smirked.

She fumed and turned to go out when she heard him.

"If you want to go and say goodbyes to your parents and sister or Pari then I will take you there only if you will promise to come back here at the end."

She chose not to answer and Arnav's heart dropped seeing her moving to the door.

He stood up and reached her in moments before pulling her in his arms.

"Stop being stubborn Khushi. Even your Babuji and Akash want you to live with me that's why they helped me to get you here this morning."

He closed his eyes for blurting it out in front of her but in despair he was ready to do anything to make her listen.  To make her..stay!

She stared at him in disbelief for good two minutes before pushing him away.

"They can never."

He sighed.

"Why don't you ask them?"

She gave him another push at his chest before running out of the room, out of the mansion and stopped short seeing the name plate besides the gates.

It stated Khushi Mansion in bold letters causing her heart to skip a beat or two at that before she composed herself and hiring an auto from the main road headed to her parents home.

Arnav paced the length of the porch worriedly for the next hour and stopped short when he heard the auto stopping outside at the gate before driving off and she entered in from the gates as he gestured to the guards to open it.

He swallowed seeing her crying and hurt face.

She must have been disheartened that her Babuji and Bhai planned this with him and now when she confirmed it she came back. Otherwise she wouldn't have.

Seeing him she shoot him an angry glare sniffling before running to the room upstairs and banged the door shut.

He let out a sigh of relief.

This was needed. To make her agree to stay with him.

Things will fall into place slowly from here. He will make sure they do.

The biggest hurdle in putting things back together will be she.. his wife. Khushi herself and he knew he can't fight her. Not much though.

But for her happiness.. for them.. if he had to fight her insecurities, the cracks inside of her , the shambles of her broken self then he will!

He had to!

If only he knew how deep those scars and cracks were!

Khushi was dazed, in a trance ever since she left the court room after the judge's verdict.

The way he clung to her body and begged to her to come to meet him once in a week or month or an year has put her into a restless mode. She managed to compose herself all through the journey from Delhi back to Lucknow. But the memories just won't fade. Neither did he.

"Will you come to meet me? Once in a...week...Once in a month...Once...in an year? E..Eight years?"

"Please do come to meet me at least once in a while.Even if its for a minute only.Please.Please.Please." he pleaded while she protested to get out of his arms.

"Please Khushi.  Please. I won't ask anything else."

"Please? Even if its for reprimanding me, taunting me, do come to meet me.Will you?"

Those pleads of him kept haunting her day and night and the end result of it would be her breaking down in the close confines of her room. She would bury her head in the pillow and scream her lungs out. Cry out in pain. Writhe in it.

In those days she decided to continue her law practice which was cut off due to her marriage when she foolishly let go of her career to marry him, to be with him. How stupid of her!

Continuing everything from scratch wasn't easy and then there was this heaviness inside her chest always but she didn't let her broken self to come in between the way of her career.

After a first few failure in the cases, she got a very first success in the case of getting divorce for a young woman from her abusive husband. She saw herself in that girl and she moved heaven and earth to make a solid case against that girl's husband to get her free of him and at the end her hard work paid off and when the girl named Akansha hugged her teary eyed thanking her, it brought peace within Khushi which she hadn't felt in ages.

Since then she knew what she should do to get solace in her life. To make peace with her life.

She joined an NGO which worked for women welfare especially for those who has gotten hurt due to their abusive in-laws or husbands. She volunteered to fight their cases and for that she never demanded any penny.  Getting those women out of their torturous life mattered the most to her. It was for her own selfish reasons as well that she took those cases.

Only money she earned was when she got cases on much insistence of the clients outside women shelter and that number started increasing owing to her success rate in the last one year.

Shashi and Garima didn't stop her to pursue those cases as they knew what meaning they held in their daughter's life. So they just encouraged her. Whatever soothed their Khushi , they would support her in that. After all she was working for a noble cause.

Payal jiji's marriage date was nearing and Khushi gifted her a gold set along with a few expensive sarees from her own earnings making Payal's eyes widen.

Payal slapped her head softly reprimanding her for spending so much on her but Khushi just smiled at it saying that for whom she is earning this money.  For her family right?

"Pagli this is your money. You should spend it more on yourself. As far as I and Amma, Babuji and Buaji are concerned we will be more happy if you will be content in your life not with expensive gifts sweetheart."

Khushi shook her head making a face making Payal chuckle patting her cheek."

Jiji. Its your wedding. Please don't stop me to buy anything for you.Today I have the right. Tomorrow Akash jiju will have more rights to buy you this or that."

Payal has just kissed her head knowing arguing with her on this topic will be futile. She won't listen.

Then in a few days Payal was married off to Akash and Khushi felt more lonely than ever now that her jiji wasn't there to caress her head at nights to lull her to sleep which didn't come to her easily anyways. Payal has often brought up this subject but Khushi never let her get the whim of her sadness upon her departure.

Besides Khushi started another indulging activity. She started visiting the orphanage next to the NGO for which she worked for.

In those days, instead of cheering her up  the children living there increased the despair inside her. She would feel a void inside her where once her child resided for only a few days until HE snatched her Rahul from her.

After two whole years of starting to run away from her past it all came back to her again and it pricked her with needles.

The end result was her breakdown sitting down under the tree of the garden of the orphanage.

She has sobbed with hiccups until she couldn't cry anymore and with her bloodshot eyes has reached her home only to come face to face with Akash jiju, Payal jiji and her Amma, Babuji and Buaji whose chatters stopped seeing her entering and her condition shot them up from their seats.

Her Babuji reached her first before taking her in his arms.

"Kya hua mairi bachchi?(What happened my child?)" He caressed her hairs as she sobbed not being able to hide her tears anymore.

"He took my Rahul from me Babuji. Why did he do that? Why didn't I die when that truck hit me Babuji. Why didn't I die along with my baby? Why?" She sobbed clutching onto her father.

Shashi's eyes teared up.

Garima and Buaji and Payal cried with her while Akash stood with misty eyes.

He has been told everything about Khushi and her past and it had him sympathize with her but now actually seeing what it made of Khushi made him feel really bad for her.

"You didn't die because your devi maiyya wanted you to see the downfall of yours and your baby's destroyer Khushi." Akash spoke.

Khushi looked at him sniffling pulling away from the confines of her Babuji.

"If you had died without seeing his sufferings then you would've stayed more restless in the other world. That would've been more bad as compared to this. There you wouldn't have had your family's support with you. You would have stayed as a restless soul for eternity without being able to do anything." He was now facing her.

He cupped the side of her cheek.

Khushi whimpered as she looked at him in her vulnerable form.

"Now you can do everything. You can show him and the whole world that you aren't weak. That no matter what he can't destroy you or your dreams. He can't right?"

Khushi nodded feeling a sense of calm by his words.

She would not be weak anymore. She would not let him destroy her now that he was where he deserved to be.

From then onward slowly yet steadily Akash and Khushi's friendship started blooming and in further days and months Akash became Bhai for her and Khushi became Choti for him.

Then there was no looking back, Khushi handled the NGO cases as well as private ones and soon not only that NGO she started working for many other women shelters as well.

In amidst she would visit orphanage too and would play with kids trying to find her Rahul in every innocent smile, in every twinkle of small eyes and in every hug those small hands gave her.

Then Payal jiji gave birth to Pari and Khushi felt genuine happiness for the first time in years holding the little bundle in her arms and sitting there besides her jiji, holding Pari close to her chest Khushi has shed silent tears, the reason of which neither she said nor her jiji asked.

Years passed with life going on smoothly if not happily for her until Anurag's proposal came for her and her Babuji and Amma looked genuinely interested in it.

When they asked for her opinion, she didn't find any reason to refuse so she said yes when she came to know that he has a child from his first wife who died in a car accident.

Anurag didn't had any objection even after knowing that Khushi may never be able to conceive. She can't have her own baby but she can love someone else's as her own can't she. This thought made her agree.

Everything was going alright during her wedding rituals .Until the wedding day itself when HE entered in her life again and turned it upside down all over again and that day she realized, she was not only fooling her family but also herself because seeing him brought back everything, every single hurt along with her heartbreak and that made her shed blood tears in her heart.

She knew right then very clearly that this man.. Arnav Singh Raizada would never leave her mind or heart no matter how much she tried and that realization didn't sit well with her battered self...not at all.

And she did what she felt safest to guard herself from greater hurt.

She has to defend herself from that man.So she denied that feeling once and for all and locked it in a very, very dark corner of her being so that it never come out.

She would never let it.

Kuch rishton ka namak hi doori hota hai

Na milna bhi bahut zaroori hota hai

Arnav stayed in the room next to their own from where Khushi didn't come out the rest of the day after her visit to Gomti Sadan. She ate nothing the whole day and when he banged the door at night to make her have something she didn't listen to any of his pleads, demands, requests or orders at all leaving him worried sick for her the entire night ahead.

At wee hours in the morning his eyelids drooped and he slept and woke up with a jerk as the alarm went off.

Closing it, he sprang up from the bed and the first thing he did was go to the next room and check on her.

To his surprise the door was unlocked and she was nowhere in the room.

He sprinted downstairs and heaved a sigh of relief when he saw her in the kitchen preparing the breakfast.

The maid was standing behind her worried pleading for her to let her do the work but Khushi wasn't listening. Seeing Arnav at the door the maid named Kriti paled.

Arnav dismissed her with a wave of his hand.

She left scared of losing her job as she have been strictly ordered by her boss not to let the lady of this house to touch any chore. She has been trying to get Mam to listen to her but she didn't budge.

After the maid left Arnav took in her appearance.She was wearing a red apron over her blue suit, her hairs were tied up in a bun and she was kneading the dough with vengeance. He gulped.

"This is not your work to do Khushi. The maid is here for this. Whatever you want to have, tell her and she will make it." He said cautiously.

"Find some other ways to flaunt your money. Neither I need your money nor your concern." She said in a cutting voice and surely it cut him deeply.

"You are not here for this." He tried again ignoring the sting of her words.

"Then for what am I here may I ask?" She turned fully to him causing him to gulp.

"To stay with me. To be my wife. My companion. And let me be yours. To let me...heal you perhaps?" He said slowly in a barely audible voice swallowing.

Khushi turned back to her work not bothering to reply feeling too choked up.

Tu baat kare ya na mujhse

Chahe aankhon ka pegaam na le

Par ye mat kehna are o pagle

Mujhe dekh na tu, mera naam na le

Arnav stared at the side of her face feeling his eyes tearing up. Can being together with the person you love be this painful? He thought without her he was miserable all those years but how can her presence with him bring out this excruciating pain?

Somewhere she was succeeding for what she married him for.

Was there no end to this? Will it ever be?

"If you want something specific for breakfast then let me know?" She said in a detached tone.

"No.." He cleared his throat to let the words out."I will have whatever you'll make."

She nodded and arranged their breakfast on the dining table once she was done. Yet again refusing the help of the maid.

"I don't need the maid.I am very much capable of doing my own work and I am used to it since forever." She said straight forwardly sitting across him at the dine.

"Okay. As you wish." He agreed knowing arguing with her would get him nothing but only increase the distance between them.

"I will ask her to look after cleaning." He said taking one paratha and placing it in his plate.

When he ate a morsel, he felt his eyes prick.

It was after many years he was eating her hand made food and it surely brought back so many memories of the past when she used to make fresh breakfast for him no matter how early he has to leave for office and she never failed to send her hand made lunch to his office.

Despite his hate, he couldn't throw the lunch box and used to eat it everyday and he got so used to it that he stopped having outside food which he used to love once.

After he kicked her out, apart from her he used to miss her hand made home food and he did so the remaining years later as well whether he stayed in jail or at RM after the end of his imprisonment.

Now after many years, his taste buds seemed to have triggered the appetite by just by one bite of a familiar food made by certain hands and it's been so long he felt like eating his stomach full.

Maana apna ishq adhura

Dil na ispe sharminda hai

Poora hoke khatam hua sab

Jo hai aadha wo hi zinda hai

Khushi looked at him strangely as he ate three parathas and two cups of tea with a serene expressions on his face.

It filled her heart and stomach as if by eating he was filling her appetite and that thought disturbed her.

Why was she still so much affected by him?

Get over it already Khushi!

Arnav's gaze clashed with hers and he noticed her weird glances and understood her confusion.

"Breakfast was really good. I didn't had a good one in like..ages." Specifically made by you he added in his mind smiling widely at her.

But then she had a fitting reply to wipe off his smile.

"Why? I thought you were off the prison months back. Didn't your sister mollycoddle you?"

"When have you become this bitter?" He asked hurt shining in his eyes.

"What is bitter in it? I just asked a simple question." Her eyes bore holes in his.

He clenched his hand over the cup.

"You were being utterly sarcastic when you said that. It wasn't a simple question.It was a gibe."

She shrugged.

"Take it the way you like then."

"Khushi I just praised your cooking. Can't you take it in simple way?"

"Well, I don't need your praises so keep them to yourself or better save them for maid when she will prepare your meal because this was the first and the last time I did. I will do my cooking and my chores myself. Just mine."

"I didn't ask you to do it in the first place either. You were adamant to make breakfast."

She continued as if he never spoke.

"If you want then you can kiss those maid's hands as well in order to praise her when you will like her food."

"WHAT THE HELL KHUSHI?" He stood up angrily causing the chair to topple over.

He was about to retort when his gaze fell on Kriti who was frozen on her steps coming out of the kitchen and was on the verge of crying listening the heated argument between the couple.

"Kriti. Go to your quarter." Arnav ordered.

She nodded sniffling and scurried off.

"Go and wipe her tears or better kiss them away." Khushi continued nonchalantly. Apparently.

"I LOVE YOU DAMMIT. YOU." He jerked her up from her chair through her elbow and shouted on her face bringing her closer.

"YOU CLAIMED THE SAME WHEN YOU KISSED THAT SHEETAL BEFORE MY VERY OWN EYES." She shouted back with angry tears gathering in her eyes.

She didn't know why she was doing this but she didn't have a control over her behavior. She was already feeling over the edge ever since she saw the young maid working in the kitchen when she has come down.

He closed his eyes to reign in his anger and helplessness. He didn't know she would make a huge fuss over a simple compliment.

She pushed him away and left upstairs to her room and by the time she closed the door she was sobbing with her cries muffled with her hands.

"What is wrong with me? Why did I behave like that?" She cried out with her head in her hands.

"I will go insane if I stayed with him." She mumbled feeling her throat clogged with emotions.

"Why does he bring out this much emotions in me still? How dare he?"

He was at the door banging it.. asking her to open the damn thing.

Then he was inside the room by breaking the lock and seeing her berserk condition he rushed to her.

"Khushi I will fire that maid if she bothers you so much." He pleaded with tears in his eyes.

He caught her through her upper arms as she swayed.

"No. Don't. Don't come near me." She yelled as tears rolled down her cheeks unchecked.

"One day. I am with you for just a day and see...you have made me a mess of emotions."

She pointed to herself threading her fingers in her hairs looking distraught.

She was right. He saw her trembling with onslaught of emotions.

"Why don't you accept that you still love me? That will give you peace." He croaked pulling her up in his arms wiping her tears with his the pad of his thumbs.

"For the umpteenth time I DON'T LOVE YOU. I DON'T. Hum apse pyaar nahi karte. Hum apse pyaar nahi karte!(I don't love you. I don't love you.)" She pushed him away with her every word crying out loud.

"GO AWAY. Go away. Please g-go away." She choked brokenly.

Tears burned his eyelids as he saw what he has made of her.

"Okay. Fine. Relax. I am going. Calm down Khushi. I am going." He walked away blinking back the moisture.

Khushi rushed to the washroom to change into her formal wear to leave to the court.. her work otherwise she would go mad if she stayed one more second in this very home, with him.

Only if her babuji and Akash jiju hadn't done this. If only they hadn't wanted her to move in with him. She has left Gomti Sadan being really upset with them.

She combed her hairs, applied kohl and light gloss and she was ready in a few minutes to leave.

Her heels clicked against the tiles and he who was pacing the living room worried for her looked up seeing her all dressed up to leave for her work.

He knew she has started her law practice again about seven years back and now she was an honorable name in the country especially in Lucknow and Delhi who worked for women who suffered abusive marriages and she made sure she got them rid of their abusive partners or in laws.He also knew why she chose that particular field to work on and that had him drown in deepest guilt more and more if that was even possible.

But what he haven't seen was her professional attire which she was wearing right now.She was looking really sophisticated and every bit of a confident lawyer which the society calls her.

Where was his clumsy and messy Khushi? He asked himself again.

Though he was proud of how she has gathered herself and made various achievements and received many accolades for her services to various NGOs and has made a name for herself in the country he couldn't help but miss the old innocent, bubbly and chirpy and always the smiling Khushi. And he need not ask who snatched that innocence from her.

He caught her wrist when she walked past him without sparing him a glance stilling her in her place.

She twisted her hand in his grip glaring at him.

He knew better to praise her. He just conveyed his adoration with a single peck at the back of her hand and her eyes dilated in surprise at his audacity.

"Have a nice day." He said pecking her head and then left releasing her.

Khushi stood staring at the space he was standing moments ago before shaking her head and heading out.

When she came back from the work in the evening she found a middle aged couple working in the kitchen and she knew why they were there. Due to her outburst in the morning.

Has he fired the poor young maid?

There at that moment she felt really guilty for being the reason of that girl's losing her job.

Angry at herself as well as guilty, she stepped out of the kitchen after drinking water only to bump into him who has been standing there all along watching her reaction over this particular arrangement and hoping to see a glimpse of longing in her eyes which was there all over his face telling the world that how much he missed her the whole day.

Hoping and searching the same longing in her eyes, even a tiny weeny bit?

Tu yaad kare ya na mujhko

Mere jeene mein andaaz tera

Sar aankhon par hai teri naaraazi

Meri haar mein hai koi raaz tera

He reached over and pecked her head like he did when she left in the morning.

"I hope you had a nice day. I-I missed you." He whispered against her head.

Khushi had all the intentions to push him away but her arms seemed to have frozen on the spots and this helplessness started flowing out in the form of tears seeing which he tugged her in his arms and she sobbed clutching onto him.

"I don't love you." She mumbled trying to assure him.. make him understand that she was just feeling sad not torn with the war inside her heart and mind.

"I know." He choked ruffling her hairs softly.

"You do believe me?" She asked when she herself wasn't sure of what she declared.

"I do." He croaked blinking back the tears.

Bakshe tu jo pyaar se mujhko

Toh ho meri rihaai

"You will never say that I love you?" She cried out in his arms.

His hold tightened around her as he rubbed his face on her hairs.

"Never." He murmured into her hairs as a tear trickled down his cheek.

Tu bole toh ban jaaun

Main Bulleh Shah saudai

Main bhi naachun..

Main bhi naachun manau sohne yaar ko

Chalun main teri raah Bulleya

Main bhi naachun rijhaun sohne yaar ko

Karun na parwah Bulleya

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