"No."

The word left my mouth before I could manage to think straight; speaking in a state blissfully unaware of just what effects my words could and mostly likely would have, and I think, at first, everyone was more surprised that I'd actually spoken up at all.

I guess Bert expected me to be a pushover like Gerard had been.

He was wrong and I felt it necessary to prove that to him and perhaps with a fist to the face, but I didn't want to do that at first - I didn't quite want to resort to measures quite as dire as that, and most of all, a part of me was trying with all its might to bottle down the vibe of intimidation the guy gave off with the simplicity of his mere presence.

"Gerard, I'm not." I continued, directing my words in Gerard's direction, turning away from the glaring ex-boyfriend that stood over me with a most certainly vengeful glare, in what was probably a bad decision, but I think right now it wasn't all that idiotic of me to pride Gerard's wellbeing over mine. "I'm not leaving, okay?" I felt my eyes soften at that, searching for his, but only to fine them stone cold and fixated upon the man stood beside me.

"Leave him alone, alright?" Bert rolled his eyes, grabbing my arm as to grab my attention, and getting nothing but the worst side of my temper in return, because I really was fuming, especially that he had the fucking nerve to tell me to leave Gerard alone. "He's made his choice. He wants me back, I'm sorry, faggot, but you're done."

And I think the thing I hated more than the disgusting words that left his mouth was the way Gerard just let Bert speak for him.

And I hated how different this was from the Gerard back in his own home arguing with Mikey, and I hated just how Bert reduced him to something else, something that just wasn't Gerard.

"How can you call me a faggot? Look at you? And look at your ex-boyfriend. Faggot." And I hated that word, but I reckoned perhaps that I hated him even more, so I used it with all regrets and morals pushed aside; things seemed to be a lot easier that way as well.

"Frankie don't-" And my eyes widened, at first because Gerard had finally spoken, but secondly as I came to realise the content of his words, and how I had never hated anyone as much as the man stood beside me - the man who'd ruined Gerard.

"Shut it." Bert silenced him before I could; his words however baring anger, despite the fact Gerard's words had been in nothing but a blind and almost ignorant defence of him.

Gerard didn't argue in response, his gaze simply drifting downwards, amusing himself with the coffee that he'd only half drank, losing himself in nothingness, and with a situation like this around him, I couldn't say I blamed him all that much.

"Don't talk to him like that." I silenced Bert, because by now I knew Gerard wasn't going to, because it was simply Bert's presence that had drained Gerard of everything and anything that was prominently him, and I hated the sinking feeling tugging at the pit of my stomach as I contemplated the possibility of being put right back to square one with Gerard.

"Don't talk to me like that, pansy." And it took all self-control to let out a snort at the fact that the guy bombarding me with homophobic insults was also pretty much trying to steal my boyfriend.

"I know what you did to him, you know, and I'm not ever going to let him go back to your for precisely that reason." I played that card, expecting to take him down a notch with my efforts, but of course, it had no effect on the man, only pulling a smirk onto his face as moved to sit down beside Gerard in a manner that disgusted me, and I was only thankful that Gerard's eyes were still directed downwards and he hadn't even acknowledged Bert's actions.

"And yet you're playing me off as the possessive boyfriend, huh? Hypocrite city over here, much?" Bert rolled his eyes as he reached for Gerard's hand - taking things just one step to far, causing Gerard to look up for once; tears in his eyes that were addressed by nothing but a drop of my jaw, and a roll of Bert's eyes.

Gerard did not take his hand, and Bert didn't like this.

"No, I'm playing you off as the asshole that beat him, raped him, and nearly killed his brother, and even him in the process, and that's not okay. That's what you did to him, and that's why I have more than good reason to ensure he doesn't go home with you."

And he had the absolute never to laugh, "listen to him, Gee, sugar, is that all he thinks he knows? He knows nothing, does he? Are you really still that ashamed? Oh, Gee," the redhead moved away as Bert reached out to ruffle his hair and I really had to fight back the grin that appeared upon my lips in result. "It's not that bad, is it, baby?"

"D-don't call me that..." And his words came out with an utter lack of confidence, but I reckoned at first Bert was shocked that he'd said anything at all.

"I'll call you what I fucking want. Whore? Is that better? That's what you are." Bert snapped, and he snapped like a twig, and even I felt unsafe, clueless as to how the hell Gerard was supposed to cope here.

"Don't... tell him, please." Gerard begged and really that was just the icing on the cake for such a sadistic fuck as Bert, and I swear I could have puncher the fuck square across the face, but all I was lacking was muscles and the actual courage, because, you know, Bert was most definitely taller, older, and stronger than me, but he certainly still wasn't going to win this one.

"Oh, but whore, your brother was such a better fuck than you... oops..." And he let out a giggle, mockingly teenage girl esque, leaving me both speechless and confused, yet unable to say a single word, before Gerard, too, snapped, pushing Bert out of his seat and storming out the coffee shop, leaving me sat frozen now opposite Bert, with absolutely not a single working cell in my body at all.

The only thing that could reach my ears before I stormed out after my boyfriend, hoping he hadn't gotten far before I could catch up with him were the next few words from Bert. "He let me fuck his brother too, bet he fucking loved it, huh? I made him watch-"

I just couldn't hear anymore as I managed to sift through Bert's exaggerations and the truth all while sprinting after my boyfriend, and leaving Bert before he could say another fucking word, because I couldn't hear it, I really couldn't, and especially not from lips as poisoned, and with words such as twisted as his.

"Gerard!" I screamed out at the red headed figure making his way down the street without a care for who heard me at this point, sprinting after him as I received no reply - the footsteps behind me unmistakeably Bert's, but right now I had better things to worry about, perhaps such as my boyfriend, and how he was none of Bert's business, at all.

"Please, just leave me alone... the both of you." Gerard turned around, letting out a sigh as he came to address us both, leaving nothing but blank expressions all round. "I need to think. I've messed up and I need to think, I told you that, Frank, and Bert, I was wrong to call for you so soon, I jumped to conclusions, but I can see, I can see that maybe we don't work all that well together."

"You've fucking changed, you know that." Bert spat, looking at Gerard like a slave he just couldn't control anymore, and that was really something I just didn't know what to think about, other than my hatred for the guy - I just had nothing. "He's changed you, this isn't the real you."

"I think the longer I've been with Frank, the closer I've gotten back to who I really was before all of this, but I don't think I ever fully will, because Bert, you've ruined that for me, with what you've done, with what you've made me." Gerard spat, and I felt like cheering but for one I doubted it'd help the situation all that much, and also, it seemed as if my lips had rendered it utterly impossible for me to let a single sound pass through them.

"Oh, please." Bert again had the fucking nerve to roll his eyes; of course, he had the fucking nerve, the asshole. "You made those choices yourself, you brought that upon yourself. You liked being the little whore, and you liked turning a blind eye."

And I had how he called him that, and how he saw Gerard as not even a real person, but an object, but his fucking whore, not even his boyfriend - mainly, because he wasn't, Gerard was my boyfriend, but not just my boyfriend, he was so much more - Gerard was just beyond words, and as much as it would boost his ego enormously for me to admit that, I couldn't change that it was true.

"Only after I was too stoned to even see straight, Bert, because no matter what you say to me, the me I am after a line or two of crack isn't the real me, whatsoever. You know, you told me all that bullshit about drugs wiping the mask away from your face and letting your true self show, but I've come to realise that letting your true self through is something drugs, or anything for that matter simply can't help you with. It's you that does that." And something clicked in me - Gerard wasn't scared of Bert anymore, and I was unsure as to how it had come to be, but honestly, I was beyond overjoyed, because the only thing keeping Gerard tied to the sinking ship that was Bert McCracken, was fear and fear alone.

"You're such a good fuck though, Gee, c'mon, you know, you don't want to care about all this shit, and you know you'll be fine with a line and a fuck, then we'll be fine." He still argued his case, of course; he was not of course, more arrogant that Gerard, and for once I considered my boyfriend's exceptional arrogance as something of greatness, alongside its usual tiresome nature, of course.

"I don't do drugs anymore Bert, and if I want a fuck, then I think I'll be asking my boyfriend, don't you think? And by that, I mean Frank, not you." He made that extra clear, pushing a smirk onto my lips as I came to realise that by the term 'boyfriend' we were fine again - Gerard wasn't bullshitting around this time, and somehow despite everything else, all the fucking shit, all the fucking mess, what seemed to matter most was what was between Gerard and I.

I reckoned that was both exceptionally beautiful, and exceptionally sad, lying somewhere amidst a combination of the two, and right now all that mattered was that Bert was going down right here, because Gerard was my boyfriend and he was staying with me.

"Tell your brother to call me then, huh?" Bert winked, a smirk falling onto his lips, as a look of dismay and confusion took down mine as I struggled to fathom a rationalised explanation to all of this, daring not to look things on at face value, for what they were, perhaps just for simple fear of what hides behind closed doors. And surely, that was pathetic if it ever was anything.

"I'll be back later, honey, this isn't over - do your thinking and do it fast." And with that Bert turned away, making his way towards the park and leaving me to turn back to my boyfriend with a million words pushing at my lips and still not a single one to come out.

Silence held me tight, and silence enjoyed it, but that was silence for you, and I was rather content just with the sight of Bert walking away in the other direction and I basked in the reluctance he took in every step, and the way his body flinched at every sound, almost as if he was desperately looking for Gerard to follow him, and the fact that he even thought of my boyfriend with such ignorance offended me personally.

Then again, his existence on a whole offended me dramatically also, so it wasn't all that shocking.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you had to..." Gerard shook his head, trying his best not to cry, almost as if the moment Bert had gone he suddenly felt as if he had to maintain this strong persona, which was utter fucking bullshit. Unlike some people, I cared about Gerard, because he was Gerard and not because he was pretty or because he was a good fuck, and that was the real difference here - I couldn't help but smile at that like an idiot also.

"That's why I told you to go, I didn't want you to have to experience that." He let out a sigh, his eyes drifting to the ground, almost ashamed of what he'd just done, when he'd really done nothing at all, and I let bias take control here, deciding that even I had done nothing wrong, and Bert McCracken was well and truly, and most definitely solely to blame.

In afterthought, that was a lie - my sins were evident, but in the moment of victory, in the moment I felt like I could fly, that didn't matter at all. And I thought for a moment how Gerard always seemed more important than myself, and how I even prioritised him in my own head - his happiness, in particular, and I wondered if that was true love or just a sickening and well disguised case of co-dependency, and then I wondered if there was really any difference.

"I didn't want you to have to experience that alone." Was all I could say in response, stepping forward and taking Gerard's hand as we began to walk back in the direction to his. Just holding him close almost brought my heartbeat back fully into motion, almost as if I'd almost felt kind of empty and hollow after he'd walked out, which again was another issue that needed facing, and one with the glassy eyed state Gerard was in, I reckoned we'd have trouble with.

"I want to go to the woods, Frank, I do need to think, you know..." He exhaled, gesturing strangely, before dropping my hand and reaching in his pocket for a cigarette and lighting it in one smooth motion, exhaling the nicotine with his worries in the manner of a habit he had no intentions of quitting whatsoever.

"No, Mikey's still at home - crying, and that's a mess you need to clean up as you explain to me just what Bert was talking about, what really happened." I brought forward the elephant cowering in the corner of the room; the elephant perhaps even nervous to acknowledge itself, but ignorance never did anyone anything but penance, and I put Gerard aside for once, thinking not just of myself, but Mikey, because I hated to think that he was still there, crying his eyes out, for a reason I could never quite place - unexplained to me, a blank left on purpose, tearing the sense behind everything apart.

"I had drugs debt, I had real fucking debt, and you know, you know what Bert suggested to pay it - fucking Mikey, he said it'd be fine if I let... if I let, and I did, because I was scared and I... I made myself more important than Mikey, and that was the day I really lost myself, and I watched... I fucking watched... I watched him scream, and I... I don't think he should ever forgive me... I just... it was years ago, but I, know he still can't look at me the same, and you couldn't, you just couldn't after that, so... I ended up killing the guy that did it, fuck, I killed the guy that I owed drug debt to and fuck it was vengeance and I loved it, but Mikey didn't see it that way, he never saw it that way..."

"You fucked up big time..." I exhaled, having very little to say other than that, my mind focusing back to the image of Mikey crying at home as I pieced everything together along with the cause to his tears, and how heavy my heart felt after that, almost as if the action of spreading blood throughout my body was effort within itself. "And yet you still fucking tease him about it, what the fuck, Gerard? Do you want me to make jokes about you whoring around for Bert and his fuckboys, huh?"

"I don't work properly. I'm broken; my head doesn't work properly, and I stopped taking the medication, this past week." He admitted, his voice quiet, and his words vague when it came to meaning, which perhaps wasn't all that much out of the ordinary when it came down to Gerard, as much as I hated to say that.

"What do you mean?" I queried in search of the necessary clarification, yet dreading the response I'd receive the moment the words left my lips, yet I never let myself drag my gaze away from his, because the shimmer and the beauty in those hazel eyes of his, that was something I never even wanted to chance losing, especially not to someone like Bert.

"Stabilisers of some sort, they calm things out, make me normal." he huffed at that, clearly in skepticism regarding the treatment, which with the arrogance that came with Gerard, almost like a buy one get one free, it wasn't too be unexpected.

"Fuck normal. I feel like I'm making excuses again, and I do care, about Mikey, and I can't face him, and especially not with mum, because she'll be home by now too, and fuck, you know I just kind of wanted to run away with Bert then, just for the fact that I'd never have to face them again, fuck.."

"Gee, come on, face them with me? It'll be okay, I promise."

"Really?"

"Trust me."

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