The coffee place Gerard takes us to is a small independent place that's huddled on the corner of a high street with generic coffee shop music that you can hear through the door even before you step in; the building is pretty small with only about six or so tables, and with only one of them being occupied by an elderly couple, I agree that this is the perfect place.

I guess I just have to trust in Gerard that their coffee's good, because that's one thing I can't tell from stalkerish observation- well, perhaps the fact that the aforementioned couple are quite complacently sipping upon their beverages without any obvious signs of disgust or poisoning aids Gerard's words a little, but old people are kind of weird, you know. I'll let myself be the judge of the coffee.

I start to think that perhaps all of this excessive observation is simply so I don't have to think about what we came here to discuss, because despite as much as my curiosity should want me to know everything about him, Pete's words have really stuck and honestly I would rather be in the dark about some things, especially if they're bad, but with Gerard today, it really doesn't seem like I have all that much choice.

"Hey, Frankie?" He squeezed my hand, causing my attention to drift up to meet his gaze, leaving all rampant thoughts regarding the coffee shop and the conversation that was destined to occur inside discarded. "It's okay, I promise."

I forced myself to nod in response, despite the fact I very much doubted that just about anything would be okay right now, but I was just a little keen upon ensuring that Gerard didn't make a big fuss or anything, because then we'd have another problem to deal with, and I really wasn't in the mood for that. 

"Yeah I know." I added, forcing my cheeks upwards to make way for a stubbornly stony faced smile.

"Good," he paused, momentarily glancing back towards the coffee shop, before turning that mildly suspicious gaze back to me, "let's go in then, shall we?" He grinned at me, tugging me by the hand to the door before I could even answer him, let alone protest in any way shape or form. Not that he'd let me anyway.

The first thing that hit me was just how pungent the smell of coffee was; I suspected they were fucking pumping that shit out through the air con or something weird like that. I squeezed my face up as I attempted not to splutter and cough out my insides, as I doubted that would improve an already pretty shitty day by any means.

Gerard just laughed at me, taking note of my minor discomfort and finding just a little too much amusement in it, "really, Frankie?"

"Fuck off." I rolled my eyes at him, yet still allowing him to drag me up to the counter to order our coffee, because he was Gerard and I really just couldn't be bothered right now.

"The coffee better be good for the amount it smells of the shit." I leaned closer to Gerard, whispering my words harshly against his ear before I took the time to glare spitefully at the barista and see how long it took them to be uncomfortable by it, needless to say, today wasn't exactly the best of days.

He smirked at me in response as I pulled away. "Trust me, Frankie." Yeah, great fucking idea.

And before I could make any kind of protest the barista had noticed us and launched into a conversation with Gerard.

"Gerard, hey you haven't been for a while, everything good?" Gerard simply nodded in response to her queries, as if this was utterly normal for the two of them. Seriously who the fuck was she? And then her gaze trailed over to meet mine, a smile lapping over her lips, "Gerard, who's this then, huh?" She winked at the both of us, rendering me completely and utterly uncomfortable.

"Hey Lindsey, this is Frank, my boyfriend." Gerard introduced me in a very nonchalant manner, leaving me to run frantically through my head to try and remember any previous mention of a 'Lindsey'.

"Hey Frank." She met me with a smile, leaving me to plainly nod in response, perhaps just for the sake of it. "He better not be causing you trouble." She added, gesturing playfully with her eyes towards Gerard before she returned to that usual smile.

"Hey... no, it's I... he's good..." I mumbled in response, forcing my lips up into a half-hearted gesture of mimic, leaving Gerard to bite back what seemed to be the beginnings of a fit of laughter - god, he was such an asshole.

"So, what can I get you today?" She asked, almost transforming into a professional barista from Lindsey who asked us lots of awkward questions within the blink of an eye. I chose not to question it; simply hoping professional Lindsey would at least be just a little less annoying.

"Usual for me." Gerard rolled the words off the tip of his tongue effortlessly, before turning to me, "Frankie?"

"Uhh... I'll just get a latte, yeah..." I continued to stumble over my words, glancing oddly at Lindsey as I was still annoyingly unable to remember Gerard mentioning her ever before at all.

"Medium?" She asked and I just nodded in response, too lost in thought to be really listening at all.

"Anything else?" Gerard shook his head, responding for the both of us; something I was awfully thankful for considering the fact my mind was completely elsewhere right now. "Okay, I'll bring them over to you in a sec."

Gerard grabbed my hand and lead us over to a booth table tucked away at the back of the cafe. "This is the best table, Frankie, I can assure you of that." He proclaimed as he took a seat opposite me, and I couldn't help but draw my gaze back to Lindsey who was now serving a teenager who by the looks of it had just walked in.

"You like her or something?" Gerard asked, bringing my gaze back to reality; my eyes widening in shock as his words brought me back to reality.

"What?" My lips trembled slightly as the one word response left them.

He rolled his eyes; chuckling a little as his face broke out into a smirk. "The only thing you've done since we've got here, other than voice your doubts regarding the coffee, is stare at her." He paused momentarily, his smirk igniting as he went on, "she's probably noticed, you know."

"Fuck." The word left my lips like a bullet, aimed right at his temples.

"That's why I introduced you as my boyfriend, Frankie. Wouldn't want her to get any ideas." He finished his words off with a simple smirk, leaving me to roll my eyes at him and try my best not to stare at Lindsey again, which was proving easier said than done.

"Who is she?" I asked, giving up when it came to trying to remember a single instance when Gerard had mentioned her before, leaving me to assume that he hadn't and that perhaps she wasn't all that important, but the last few minutes completed disproved that theory.

"Lindsey?" He furrowed his brow - seriously, who the fuck else? "She's a friend, works here." He rolled the most basic and in this case utterly useless description from the tip of his tongue.

"I gathered that yes, but how do you know each other?" I continued, badly attempting to mask my annoyance regarding the situation.

"What, why are you so interested in Lindsey, I'm seriously beginning to think you-" And then he stopped; his mouth just hung open mid sentence like a jammed typewriter.

"What?" My eyes widened, Jesus fuck what had happened?  "What, Gee, what?" My voice rose with the urgency of the situation.

He pulled his expression back up into the all too familiar smirk, nearly giving me a heart attack, and most certainly leaving me so fucking pissed off I could have shot all the organs out of his fucking body. "You're fucking jealous, Frankie."

"No! I'm not." I exclaimed, blushing a little, because maybe I was just a bit, "why the hell would you think that?"

"Because it's blindingly obvious." He rolled the words off the tip of his tongue. "Don't worry, I'm gay, and very committed to you. Lindsey's really just a friend." He winked at me, clearly enjoying irritating me to hell all too very much which fucking driving me up the wall and so very typically Gerard.

I nodded, not entirely happy with the answer I got, but not willing to push further due to the remarks Gerard would undoubtedly make. Which I guess constituted as bullying, I would most definitely be complaining to his mother. 

"Jesus fuck, if that coffee doesn't get here soon, I swear I'm gonna start fucking smoking in their cafe, man." Gerard let out a sigh, falling back against the booth, his shoulders slouching back and the sloppy posture he'd now taken up completely removing that arrogant, mysterious, strangely sexy, asshole demeanour he gave off.

I offered him a sympathetic smile, despite the fact I was more amused by the situation but I doubted Gerard would be as forgiving as I was, "that thing with your hands?" He nodded, clearly not really listening, but he'd responded at the least.

"Hey," I gestured for him to get closer and reluctantly he sat back upright at the table, and I grabbed his left hand, entwining our fingers, giggling a little at how he twitched a little at the unexpected contact.

"Better?" I asked, enjoying my opportunity to smirk like a bitch.

"I'd rather my hand was elsewhere than yours, I mean, I've felt loads of hands, not nearly as many dicks though - just saying." And there again was that fucking arrogant nonchalance, god I hated this fucking man, but at the same time, I couldn't help but fuck my head up by falling completely in love with him too.

"Gerard Way, you are not giving me a fucking hand job in a coffee shop-" My words were interrupted by a forced cough to my right, leaving me to turn to and meet the gaze of Lindsey, her eyebrows raised skeptically, and it was obvious that the only part of the conversation she'd heard was my particularly awkward and just a little out of context remark.

"Frank's right, you are most certainly not." She directed her words at Gerard, who, being the little shit he was, fucking pouted in response, "anyway, here's your coffee." She placed the tray holding our order down on the table with a smile that considering her last comment was quite probably faked.

"Hey, Lindsey." Gerard almost announced, his words, that fucking smirk upon his lips leaving me to fucking bring my hand up to my head, ready to bury my face where he couldn't see. "Frankie got jealous over you, you know." I gave Gerard the deadliest glare I could muster, my eyes fucking boring into his skull.

"Gerard, don't embarrass him, you ass." She gave him a little shove as I failed to hide my blush. "Hey don't worry Frankie, I'm sure Gerard gets jealous too." And then came Lindsey's killer smirk, which was perhaps even more devious than Gerard's.

"I don't." The words left his mouth as an instant reflex, before he stopped, eyeing Lindsey in suspicion.

"Oh is that so?" She asked, proceeding to sit herself down uncomfortably close to me, putting her arm around me as she pulled me against her body. "Hey Frankie, do you think he's jealous yet?" She whispered against my ear, and as I turned to look at Gerard, noticing the expression on his face I failed to bite back my laughter.

"Jealous, are we, Gerard?" Lindsey smirked as she got up, she continued without waiting for an answer on anyone's part. "Well, I better get back to work, hey Frankie, I finish at five," She winked at me, obviously joking, yet still making me just a little uncomfortable, but for Gerard's reaction it was most definitely worth it.

"You fucking whore." Gerard proclaimed as soon as Lindsey was at a distance.

"What?" the word popped out, my eyes widening, not expecting Gerard to pop something like that out in public.

"Such a fucking whore, Frankie." He whispered, his hand reaching under the table and trailing up my thigh.

"Gerard, stop, oh my god." I exclaimed, my eyes rolling back a little as I bit back the start of a moan.

He giggled in response, pulling his hand away, and changing his tone completely, "So hey, I know you don't particularly want to talk about it, but we need to, okay?" And right then I think I would have preferred a hand job in public to this conversation.

"I really don't want to know though, Gee." I explained, grabbing my coffee and sipping it, using the damn thing as fucking something to hide behind. God I was pathetic.

"Frankie-" He began, my words cutting him off.

"Do you know Pete? Friends with Mikey and I, I don't know, he's kinda weird, but Mikey seems to like him, more than he likes me actually, which is probably because Pete isn't dating his brother, but yeah..." I blushed a little at that, and Gerard surprisingly simply nodded for me to continue. "He said something you know, and I can't get it out of my head..."

"What did he say?" Gerard asked, sipping his coffee also. Honestly this coffee wasn't half that bad either.

"Would you still want to know something about someone you love if you knew it would make you hate them afterwards?" I gave the general gist of what Pete had said; his words having came out a hell of lot more convoluted than what I'd quoted Gerard.

And with that Gerard was rather speechless, "I... uhh... when was this Frankie?"

"Yesterday, on the walk to yours." I added and Gerard's jaw dropped, the both of us very aware of the fucking circumstance.

"Shit, I'm sorry, god, fuck..." He let out a sigh, putting his coffee down and sweeping his fringe over his face, perhaps in an effort to hide behind that, which was quite uncomfortably uncharacteristic of him.

"I'm such a dick." His words came out a little muffled as his gaze directed downwards.

I grinned a little at that, "you're lucky I like dick."

"Whore." He commented again, his gaze shifting upwards as his eyes rolled around in their sockets. "I still want you to know what happened, Frankie. If you don't want I won't tell you the whole fucked up history and shit which is mainly why Mikey's so pissed, I'll just tell you what happened, please? I want to get this off my chest, I feel so fucking guilty, man."

I let out a sigh, "fine." I mumbled despite the fact I knew I'd instantly find myself regretting it, but hey, what could I do? This truth was going to come out eventually regardless as to whether or not I wanted it to.

"I hadn't sleep in like two days then..." He paused momentarily noticing my concerned expression, "just let me tell you this shit, be pissed off at me after, okay? So by then I was already pretty fucked up and Donna had been out so no one told me to take my medication, so I didn't and it turns out that has some pretty bad effects, you know. And then I just... something got to me, I found Mikey had this photograph left out in his room, and I freaked a little so I just left and I went to a fucking bar I just wanted to get drunk enough to forget this, but then I met Bert again and he didn't let me go home easily and he drugged my drink and then gave me fucking pills and I was so wasted I just took them and didn't care and... Frankie he wanted to fuck me and I said no, but I'm scared of him, he's Bert you can't not be, and I said I needed a condom, so he drove me home to get one and that was how Mikey found me... Bert and Mikey don't exactly get along at all, so Bert left after he saw the two of us together, but he's going to come back I know that and I don't want you to have to deal with that, Frankie."

"Fucking hell, gee." I let out a sigh, failing to process all the information he'd load me with at once, my head spinning just a little. "Who's Bert?" I chose my first question carefully, not quite sure that the answer to it would be one I'd be comfortable with, but I needed to know who the fuck this guy was.

"You said you didn't want to know." He explained, his eyes drifting downwards as he failed to hide the pink tinge that clung to his cheeks.

"Just tell me simply like you did with Lindsey." I offered, although I knew that hadn't worked at all, but I was at the point something like that didn't stop me from trying.

"Nothing's simple with Bert." He responded with yet more crypticism.

"Is he your ex or something?" I asked, going for the most obvious answer.

"It's just not as simple as that." He continued, burying his head in his hands and god it was fucking clear that this shit was affecting him.

"Just tell me something about him, like you're Gerard you're an arsehole with fucking bright red hair." I gave him as an example, letting him break a small smile at my description.

"He's Bert, he's dangerous and manipulative as fuck. He fucked my life up with pills and shit." Gerard explained, his hands gesturing kind of maniacally as he spoke. It unnerved me a little, to be honest.

"So he's your dealer?" I dared to ask; only realising Gerard could be upset by it once the words had left my lips.

"Again I wish it was as simple as that." He continued explain, his fingers tapping against the table.

"Can you not give me one straight answer?" I exclaimed, getting just a little annoyed with him by now.

"Bert McCracken, all of my fuck ups and addictions and compulsions and fits are his fault... well they're mine, but without him they wouldn't be here." He finally pushed out something that meant anything, leaving silence to fall over us for a few moments before I dared to speak again.

"The thing with your hands?" I asked, gesturing vaguely towards Gerard's hands.

"Yeah, he'd never let me go, like when we we're living together... he made sure we were physically attached at all times, like he'd grab onto me at all times it was fucked up and weird... so's he... and when my hands were empty and not holding him he'd get angry with me, it's just fucked up habit, I guess..."

"You lived with him?" I asked, my eyes widening, imagining that from the description Gerard gave me that he’d rather be on a different plant to him, and not in the same house.

"Do you really think that by the age of twenty two I've never had any desire to move out, huh?"

"I just never... fuck..."

"Don't blame yourself - anything but that, Frankie."

"I love you, Gee." 

"Mmm... I know." And somehow even that was enough today, honestly, just to know that Gerard, just to know that we were okay, was more than enough in my books.

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