Dedicated to Bounty Ship

Chapter 6
Rewrite

Kamono Hotel
August 20, 2022

"A-Anong ginagawa mo riyan?!" malalaki ang hakbang ko patungo kay Sarah Anne, madiin nang nakakuyom ang dalawa kong mga kamay habang ang aking mga mata'y nakatuon sa laptop na nasa harapan niya.

Minsan ay iniisip ko na lang na sa eskwelahan na lang din matulog at huwag nang umuwi pa, dahil sa tuwing umuuwi ako sa bahay ay pawang sama nang loob lang ang natatanggap ko sa kanila.

"Oh, nariyan ka na pala, Rhoe Anne." She said casually as if I didn't catch her using my laptop without my permission.

That old laptop was given by one of our neighbors. Masyado natuwa si Aling Bebang dahil sa pagtu-tutor ko sa anak niyang bunso ay nakasama ito sa mga honor students sa unang pagkakataon.

Kahit na mabagal na ang laptop na iyon at halatang-halata na ang pagkaluma ay sobrang laki na ng tulong nito sa akin. Dahil sa halip na babayad pa ako ng oras sa computer shop ay doon ko na sa laptop nagagawa ang dapat kong gawin at nagpapa-print na lamang ako kapag may mga project.

I should find every alternative to support my studies, lalo na't hindi naman ako pinagagamit nina Auntie Kiana at Sarah Anne ng computer sa bahay o kaya'y makapag-print man lang.

Hindi na nga ako nagpumilit gumamit ng computer nila. . . ngunit bakit pati lumang laptop ko ay pakikialaman niyang pakialamera siya?!

I even tried my best to avoid her. Hindi lang sa eskwelahan kundi na rin sa bahay pero bakit ang init-init lagi ng mata niya sa akin? Sa aking natatandaan ay wala naman akong nagawang masama sa kanya para magtalim siya ng matinding galit sa akin na ganito.

Hahablutin ko na sana iyong maliit kong laptop nang walang habas niya iyong isinarado na hindi man lang pinapatay nang maayos. Halos manlaki ang mga mata ko sa takot na masira iyon. "Ano bang gusto mo, Sarah Anne?!" sigaw ko sa kanya.

What's worst? Those annoying eyes of hers! Na parang proud na proud pa siyang basta na lang makialam ng gamit ng iba.

Lalong nanikip ang dibdib ko at pilit kong pinakalma ang sarili ko. If I could just lock the door of this room, grab the sharpest thing and pierce it into her mocking eyes. . .

Pero alam kong mali iyon at kahit ilang beses akong gumawa ng impeyerno sa utak ko na babagay sa kanya, alam kong wala akong lakas na gawin iyon sa reyalidad.

Sarah Anne and her mother have me on my neck. I've been trapped since my mother left me, and until now I couldn't find an escape.

"So, ikaw pala si Rowing Anne," she said with the glint of villainous amusement. The tone of her voice did not sound good at all. Na dapat ay ihanda ko na ang sarili ko sa anumang puwedeng gawin niya.

Nakatulala na ako sa kanya habang paulit-ulit kong naririnig ang boses niya sa utak ko. Rowing Anne is my writer's name and I intentionally hide my identity to my readers. My identity has started gain popularity online. Sa totoo lang ay hindi ako makapaniwala na aabot ng daang-libo ang mga nag-aabang ng mga sinusulat ko.

I even have readers inside my classroom. I've been smiling silently in the corner of our classroom every time my classmates talk about my characters, stories, and even my mysterious identity.

Rowing Anne has been my escape in this toxic reality, but when the reason why this life has been toxic discovered my escape? Para akong binuhusan ng isang timbang tubig na punung-puno ng yelo.

Sarah Anne's discovery of the thing that makes me happy is my worst nightmare.

Tumayo siya at nagkibit-balikat. Itinulak niya pa sa dibdib ko iyong laptop.

"Don't worry. I can keep your secret," nakangiting sabi.

And that's the most poisonous smile I've ever seen in my lifetime.

***

"Rhoe Anne, what's going on?" Kousuke almost whispered. His hands were delicately cupping my face. At kapwa na kami basang-basa ng ulan. Bahagya siyang nakayuko upang magsalubong ang aming mga mata.

I kept on sobbing in front of him. I couldn't even utter the word. All I could see were his eyes full of concern with the continuous droplets of water gliding down his handsome face.

I was just slowly blinking with the mixture of tears and rain on my cheeks.

Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya ang lahat. I want to tell him that I've been lying to myself. I am not okay. I was never okay.

I told myself that I came here to Japan to escape. . . but it was being trapped after all. Pilit ko pa rin kinukulong ang sarili ko sa ilusyong masaya ako at hindi ako nakakaramdam ng kalungkutan. I've been trying to convince myself that I am happy being alone, but in reality I feel so empty.

"I hate the rain. It's cold, dark, alone. . ." usal ko sa kanya.

Paulit-ulit bumalik sa alaala ko kung paano ako ikulong ni Auntie Kiana at Sarah Anne nang araw na iyon. It was raining hard, the room was too dark, the lightning was continuously striking and the thunder was deafening. 

Akala ko ay malalabanan ko na iyong masamang alaalang iyon pero hindi pa rin pala.

Nanatili lang nakatitig sa akin si Kousuke, hawak niya pa rin ang magkabilang pisngi ko habang pilit niyang binabasa ang ekspresyon ko.

He tried to wait. He patiently waited for my response until he sighed. Bumaba ang dalawa niyang kamay mula sa magkabilang pisngi ko patungo sa dalawa kong mga kamay.

He gently pressed my hands as he calmly looked into my eyes again.

"Do you want me to re-write your rain? What did I tell you?" I bit my lower lip when I heard how he tried to mellow his voice like he was trying to soothe an innocent child.

I bit my lower again to suppress another batch of cries. When I needed this kind of voice. . . wala akong natanggap noon. I want to ask him why was he late, why didn't I meet him earlier? Why do I need to experience those painful memories?

Mga katanungan na alam kong hindi niya masasagot. Because it wasn't his fault that I grew up alone, abused, and lonely.

Binitawan ni Kousuke ang isa kong kamay at nauna siyang maglakad sa akin habang bahagya akong hinihila.

"I told you, I will bring summer to you."

Kousuke Matsumoto, the gentle country boy intertwined his fingers with mine as we walked in the middle of the rain. Hinayaan kong hilahin niya ako at sundan ang bawat hakbang niya hanggang sa makarating kami sa harap ng bahay niya.

Gumagala ang tingin ko sa madilim na paligid. And I tried to analyze our real situation. Bakit ako dinala rito ni Kousuke?

Would it be practical if he'll convince me to return to my hotel room?

Ngayon naman ay ang mga mata ko ang nagtataka sa kanya.

"Give me a second," nag-alangan pa akong bitawan ang kamay niya nang akma niya akong iiwan.

"It's okay. I'll be right back," he assured me as he pressed my hand a little.

Nang bitawan ko na ang kamay niya ay nagmadali siyang pumasok. I was just looking at the door when suddenly all the lights inside and outside of the house switched on. Lumabas na rin si Kousuke na may buhat, itinapat niya iyon sa akin at halos mapapikit na lang ako nang tamaan ako ng higit na liwanag.

It could be a huge light for his plants? Or anything that he might be using for a certain task that I don't know.

Hindi lang iyon dahil binuksan niya, dahil maging ang ilaw ng sasakyan niya ay itinapat niya rin sa akin.  Halos takpan ko na ng braso ko ang mga mata ko dahil sa sobrang liwanag. But at the same time, I couldn't help but laugh. Kanina lang ay sobrang bigat ng pakiramdam ko pero sa ginawang ito ni Kousuke hindi ko na mapigilan ang mangiti at matawa.

"This isn't summer, Kousuke Matsumoto!" sigaw ko sa kanya na may kasamang pagtawa.

Lakad takbo na siya para makarating sa akin. I was about to hit him with his silliness when he swiftly pulled me closer to him as his arms wrapped around my waist.

Bahagya na akong napatingala sa kanya. While Kousuke's boyishly grinning at me.

"You silly country boy!" I tried to hit his chest with my locked arms between our bodies.

"And you crybaby summer girlfriend. . ." he whispered as he gently pressed his forehead with mine.

I could clearly see the continuously falling rain as the lights came from his old house and the red car captured the raindrops from the darkness of the sky.

And it wasn't just the splatter of the rain and the lights he created, but also the warmth of his touch. When he moved his forehead and leaned a little bit closer as if he was about to kiss me, I felt the shivering touch of his lips near my right ear.

I felt how he pulled me closer to him.

"It's not cold. It's not dark. . . and you're not alone, Rhoe Anne," a husky whisper from an innocent-looking country boy with very beautiful small eyes.

Yes, he's re-writing it. . . these damn memories of the rain.

That day, Kousuke Matsumoto started to re-write my saddest memories on the night of a rainy day in the middle of summer.

When I was young, my mother didn't even once allow me to play in the rain, my poor health made me hate it and hate it more with every bad instance of my life, but I didn't expect that I'd turn to love it.

A warm rain and a bright night in summer.

Hawak na ni Kousuke ang isa kong kamay habang iniikot niya ako sa gitna ng ulan. A sweet dance in the middle of the pouring rain.

I didn't realize that the cries slowly turned into laughter. At hindi lang mga tawa ko ang naririnig ko kundi pati na rin sa kanya. We stayed dancing in the rain until he noticed how my teeth cluttered.

"It's cold now," sabi niya.

Saglit lang niya akong iniwan bago siya nagmadaling kunin iyong tuwalya sa loob ng bahay niya. I was expecting that he'd invite me inside his old house, but all he did was cover me with the big white towel and guided me back at the hotel.

Hinatid ako ni Kousuke hanggang sa second floor. And we stopped in front of my door. Hindi agad ako pumasok at hinarap ko siyang muli. Bahagyang nakapatong sa ulo ko iyong puting towel. He held the hem of the towel and pulled it closer to cover me enough.

"Get inside. I'll see you tomorrow."

Sa halip na sumagot sa kanya ay nanatili lang akong nakatitig sa kanya. Kousuke Matsumoto's a true gentleman. He didn't invite me inside his house for me not to think that he might take advantage of my vulnerability and he didn't even insist on the reason why I acted this way.

He respected me.

"Thank you so much, Kousuke."

Tumango siya. Tumalikod na ako sa kanya at akma ko nang bubuksan ang pintuan nang mabilis akong humarap at agad na tumingkayad sa harap niya.

It was just a split second before my soft kiss landed on his left cheek. "Summer boyfriend. . ." I whispered.

Namulsa lang siya sa akin at ngumisi. "Don't make me wish to extend the seasons, Rhoe Anne."

Hindi na ako sumagot sa kanya at pumasok na ako sa kuwarto ko. There, right after I closed the door, my back leaned on it as I helplessly sat down on the floor while clutching the huge white towel around my whole body with my burning face.

I folded my legs, pulled them closer to my chest, and buried my face in my knees.

"Kousuke. . ." I uttered his name.

I am still my mother's daughter, after all, attracted to a soft-featured man with small mesmerizing eyes.

Kousuke, my summer trap could be the best kind of trap that I have ever had.