I just feel so shitty. My writing will never get better and my mind is going dark again and I just want to get better and I want to be good enough even though my writing doesn't seem like it'll ever improve and I just want to be better than just fucking average. I want to be older and I want to be experienced and I want the people I look up to to actually... like the shit I write...

I want to write something and I want to take someone's breath away, someone who's better than me. Just to know I'm doing better. Just to know I'm not running in place.

I'm so tired. I'm so fucking tired right now. I want to scream.