I am sad.

My thoughts are running too fast to track them so I guess I'll just go with my train. I'm feeling nostalgic for Bulletproof Loge. Because I really liked that story. It was warm and gentle and kinda and it made me happy and it reminds me of that one genderfluid Fall Out Boy sweater I always wore and all the chestnuts I picked up from the ground during fall and that one day that I drank tea and watched the rain andlistened to jet pack blues. And I hate how time goes by so fast becuaeenjust a minute ago I was laughing with my uncle and singing All Star by Smach Mouth while we carved pumpkins and laughed an dnow I am sitting in bed seconds from crying but if I'm honest I won't cry because even though I need to so bad and it's right there, I just can't. And I miss it because it let me release this shit and I can't anymore and Stage 4 just ended and Kids Aren't Alright just came on and I wonder if Pete really wrote that for Patrick and I wonder if people have ever just shipped them platonically and I just wish I could be asexual so I wouldn't have sex on my mind 24/7 and I just hate everything right now. And I think that transbot in class isn't really a transboy and i should be writing but I can't find the will. I just want to lie here and cry and listen to sad music.