Lex sat on the sofa early the next morning thinking of the dream from the night before. As much as she loved the idea of that dream, it scared her. She was never good at showing her emotions since Brian Parks. Stomping her foot in anger, she exhaled and leaned back. She had a good thing going with Eric at the beach. Why did she have to go and ruin such a good thing? 

Should she even go to the beach today? If she didn't, Eric might get the idea that something was wrong. If she did and Bea was there, she would definitely pick up on the awkwardness in Lex's demeanor. She always was able to pick up on the slightest changes in her attitude. It was what came with having a best friend that never left your side except the bathroom. Even then it was rare. 

In the end, after around an hour of internal debating, she shrugged and got up. It wouldn't feel right if she didn't head to the beach today. It would feel wrong and an intrusion if she decided to stay home because Buttermilk is used to being alone during the day. Her parents were both gone until late tonight, so she had freedom to stay out as long as she wanted, which was the reason she decided to head out. 

It was around ten when Lex got to the beach. Eric was down on their blanket, under the giant umbrella munching on a coconut as he watched a family play nearby. The next book in the warrior series was nearby. Lex sighed and leaned against the railing of the deck looking down at him. Why did things have to be so complicated? 

Actually it didn't. She could just end things while she wasn't so invested. However, some would say that her having dreams of her and a guy having a baby together is already being invested. She watched him laugh with the family as the youngest fell into the sand mound they had built. "No," she told herself firmly. "Remember Brian." 

She shook her head and started walking down the stairs to the beach. Eric caught a glimpse out of the corner of his eye and smiled wide, waving at her. She faked a smile and waved back, jogging over. "Hey," she greeted. 

"Hey, didn't think you were coming," he stated, moving over a little. 

Lex ignored his curious stare and sighed with contentment as she sat down in the shade. The sun was getting a little too hot. She avoided his eyes as she looked for her books deep in her bag. "You okay?" He asked. 

"Yeah, just didn't sleep well last night," she said. "Ready to read?" 

Eric picked up his book and nodded. She gave one final nod and held her book up with a smirk. While she loved this part of the book, she couldn't actually focus on the battle between Riverclan and Thunderclan over the kits. Her mind was on the relationship between Graystripe and Silverstream. It was forbidden, but they still loved each other. The relationship had come between Fireheart and Graystripe, but Graystripe couldn't leave Silverstream. 

Was that love? Or obsession? In her opinion, Graystripe wasn't in love, just obsessed with Silverstream while he actually loved Fireheart. Not like that, but as his best friend. Fireheart already proved that he loved Graystripe as his best friend by always being loyal to him. It was much like her friendship with Bea. She'd die before she'd give up information on Bea. Lex knew that Bea would do the same. 

"I can't believe that Graystripe just gave up Thunderclan," Eric said after half an hour. He'd stopped reading five minutes ago and Lex knew he was at the part of Graystripe leaving Thunderclan. It was a hard thing to read. As hard as reading about Silverstream dying. 

She didn't respond to him right away. "Do you believe in love?"

Eric looked shocked at being asked that. He looked out at the ocean, thinking for a moment. "Yeah, I do. My parents were high school sweethearts, unheard of in this day and age, but I have two siblings and my parents love us all." 

"My parents love each other too, but I mean do you believe in love for yourself?" Lex asked seriously. "You can believe in love and not believe you can have it."

Narrowing his eyes, he tilted his head. "Why? Do you not believe in love for yourself?"

Lex shrugged. "Haven't had the best of luck as far as relationships go so far." 

Eric nodded. "I understand, but love is for everyone."

"Sometimes."

Lex looked seriously at Eric as he studied her. Every fiber was telling her to run away and never come back or she'll end up like she did when Brian Parks dumped her. It took her a week to return to school, another week to actually talk to Bea again and not look like a zombie, and finally another week to get back to her normal studying. Since then, she promised herself to stay away from men and love until she was ready, and she was afraid that her mind was trying to tell herself she was 'ready'. She didn't want to be ready. She didn't want to ruin or risk what she already had with Eric. A nice friendship. 

They went back to reading until four that afternoon when his phone alarm went off. He groaned. "Sorry, I've got to get to the school to start setting up my classroom." He started packing his stuff up. Lex quickly packed her things and stood so he could fold the blanket. "I'll be done at six, hopefully, want to meet at the pier?"

He pointed casually over his shoulder to the pier where yesterday her parents and he met. The guitar dude would be there casually playing while waiting for the first dates to show up. The restaurant would be getting the late lunch early dinner rush. Honestly, going to the pier again seemed like a nice thing. It beat watching TV at home while Buttermilk snored on the couch beside her farting in his sleep. 

"Sure," she said, narrowing her eyes against the sun. The salty breeze from the ocean had brushed the palm leaves out of the suns path for several moments. He looked up and picked up the umbrella, holding it in the path of the sun so she didn't have to squint any longer. He smiled at her, his eyes bright and sweet. 

"Cool, I'll meet you at around six. Have some dinner and maybe listen to a song or two from the guitar man." He started walking to the stairs with a slight pep to his step. 

What if he thinks it was a date? He's too old for me. I'll have to break up with him and he'll hate me and then if I get him for my English class this year, he'll make my life living hell. Lex sighed and started walking back to her car. She had to go home anyway to feed Buttermilk. He was used to being fed around this time and he'd have a cow if she didn't feed him now. 

Just as she expected, Buttermilk was whining and barking when she opened the front door. Rolling her eyes at her dog, she went to the kitchen where the drawer was for his food. Buttermilk followed, acting like a puppy jumping around and wagging his tail. The weapon. "Buttermilk, dude, your tail hurts," she complained as it hit her for the fifth time as she dug in the drawer for two medium scoops into his bowl. 

He licked her hand as she put it down for him and she scratched his back for him as he munched on his food. She wasn't sure how much longer the boy had, but she knew that it would be soon. His teeth were starting to fall out and they had to soak his food in water. Some days he wouldn't eat much, others he'd eat all day. She dreaded that day. 

While he ate, she went to get ready for her NOT date with Eric. She didn't want to wear the same thing, something more decent. After twenty minutes of looking through her closet, she decided on a green dress that came to her knees and hugged her curves perfectly. Black sandals and her cross necklace and diamond studs. She didn't want to overdress, but she rarely got to stay out this late alone anymore. Normally she's at home waiting for her parents or having a family night after her homework is done. 

She brushed her hair and put a headband to keep her bangs back as she headed down the stairs. It was 5:30. She should head to the pier and wait. "Buttermilk, I'm heading to the pier, guard the house until I get back."

No response. Honestly she wasn't expecting anything in response. In his younger years, he'd run to her to see her off, but now he spent most days sleeping or trying to get up and down the stairs. Taking a deep breath, she headed out of the house to wait at the pier for her NOT date. Keeping a mental note that it wasn't  a date.