newt and thomas shared slices of watermelon on a warm tuesday evening, a heavy silence between them.

"i'm going back home on thursday." thomas said with a bite of his watermelon.

"i know." newt replied unphased.

"i should really start packing, honestly."

"i guess so," newt answered.

it was silent once again and thomas  was trying to find the right words to say.

but he didn't. instead the boys stayed quiet. thomas would take a bite of his watermelon and spit the seeds into the grass, and newt did the same. they lay underneath the sky and watched the sun set.

thomas knew he should be heading back home for dinner but he wanted to stay.

"i think i want to say goodbye today." newt said, standing up while thomas did the same.

"what do you mean?"

"i mean we'll say goodbye today, and i won't see you again after today. you'll have tomorrow to pack and maybe it'll make you leaving a little easier." newt explained.

"if thats what you wanna do." thomas shrugged.

he didn't know what to feel, and maybe it was best to feel nothing at all. maybe newt was right and it would be easier. he couldn't figure out why that thought hurt.

newt sighed, "so, goodbye, tommy."

neither of them could bring themselves to move.

"i, uh-" newt looked down and thomas hoped he would say everything thomas was thinking. "i hope you have a safe trip home."

"i'll walk you to the door?" newt suggested, after they stood in silence without making eye contact.

thomas felt unable to process what was going on, but he nodded anyway. he thought newt night say something at the door.

"newt, i–" thomas began standing outside newt's from door. he was suddenly overcome with an anger he didn't quite understand. he couldn't believe that a 'have a nice trip' was all he was getting after spending a whole summer together. "bye, newt."

"have fun." newt said closing the door, leaving thomas to walk home confused because it should've been much more than that. it should've been meaningful.

it wasn't fair.