Author's Note: Okay, so I know I said I wouldn't take a week, and then I did. But, I have a reason. I had school of course, but thenn this weekened I went out of state and the wi-fi sucked and was ridicuously slow. I wasn't gonna upload today, but I got home and I started writing and so here it is. I hope you all like it, and I'm gonna try to update this week, but if not then this upcoming weekend. Ohhh, annnnnd y'all know I'm not the type who's like '20403 comments and 1530394 votes before I upload', 'cause that's beyond annoying, but there's usually more votes than comments. Can I get some more comments? I wanna know what y'all think of the chapter! I mean, there usually are comments, but I'm just curious. But if you don't, then I'm gonna upload on time either way, just a request. ❤ 

              “Come on,” Todd tells me, standing up. My legs feel like jelly, making it impossible for me to stand.

               “I don’t wanna hear it. What if it’s bad?” I say, looking up at Todd as the tears continue to fall.

Will sighs, standing up. “It can’t be that bad. Let’s just hear what he has to say. Yeah?”

I groan, putting my hands out. Jacob grabs them, pulling me up from the ground. The four of us walk over to where the doctor in the white lab coat is standing. He has a tired look on his face, and he looks weary. Weary is never good. Hailey - who’s cradling on to her mother - let’s go of Sarah and steps closer to me, actually hugging me. I know we’re kinda like friends now, but it’s still a bit awkward. When she pulls back, I smile slightly, wiping a few stray tears away.

          “What’s the news doctor?” Uncle Ricky asks, looking at the doctor. I peer down at the man’s nameplate. Dr. Roberts.

          “Well,” He starts, looking at us all. I look down at the floor, bracing myself for the horrible news and Jacob pulls me into him, squishing me to his side. “He’s not awake yet. But as far as I can tell, his body is accepting the blood transfusion, and that’s good. He lost quite a bit though, so it’ll take a while for it to be complete. For the time being though, his vitals are looking pretty good considering. If you’d like, you can go in. He may be able to hear you if you talk to him, but maybe not. And lastly, he’s being constantly monitored.” With that he smiles slightly at us.

          “So he’ll make a full recovery, you think?” Chastity asks, from where she’s standing behind Todd, holding his hand.

            “Honestly, it’s too soon to tell. But there’s hope. If that’s all, I have another patient I must go see about.”

And with that, Dr. Roberts gives us a parting smile and then leaves the waiting room. I sigh and turn around; walking back towards the cushiony chair I was sitting in. I pull my legs up in the chair, putting my head down in-between my knees. I feel one of the boys sit beside me, but I don’t lift my head to acknowledge their presence. My phone rings in my pocket, but I don’t take it out, not in the mood to talk to anyone.

          “McKenna,” Jacob’s voice says quietly. “McKenna, your phone is ringing.”

          “I don’t wanna talk to whoever it is.” I tell him.

He seems to accept that, because after a few seconds, the phone stops but then starts again. Neither of us says anything for a while and I hear Jacob…maybe Todd? One of them sighs, and I groan, pulling my phone out of my pocket.

        “Answer this; tell them I don’t want to talk.” I say to Jacob since he’s sitting on the floor leaning against my legs.

          “Hello?” Jacob’s voice says into the phone. “Yeah? No. She said she doesn’t wanna talk. Okay, yeah I’ll tell her. Yeah, yeah, okay. Bye.” Jacob puts the phone next to me on the chair and says, “It was Matt. He said that he was gonna come in, but he has to get home for curfew or something.”

I nod, not taking my head away from my knees. It’s all my fault. The reason that Ryder is in there pretty much unconsciously fighting for his life and it’s my fault. In fact, everything that has happened to him lately that hasn’t been so great has been my fault. He hurt his hand in Australia. My fault. Got dangerously drunk? My fault. Ran his car off the road and flipped several times? My fault. I am a horrible person. If I hadn’t broken up with him, none of this would have happened. I mean, I didn’t break it off with him because of what happened with him and Mollie back way back then, I broke up with him because I specifically asked him what happened and he wouldn’t tell me. Then to make matters worse I Mollie told me. What if he freaking dies thinking I hate him? I mean, I’m not thinking he’s gonna die or anything, but still. He thinks I hate him. Which, of course, I don’t.

             “Hey, you can go talk to him.” Will tells me, “If you wanna.”

             “Do you think he’ll be able to hear me?” I ask him, lifting my head.

He nods, “Yup. I really do.”

          “You don’t wanna talk to him first? He is your brother.”

          “And he’s your…whatever. Soul mate.”

I roll my eyes jokingly, and stand up. “Are you sure it’s okay?”

          “It’s fine. What, do you want me to come with you?”

I nod, “Please.”

He clears his throat, standing up. I stand up too we walk out of the waiting room, through the doors which Dr. Roberts came out of earlier. We walk through the emergency room, which is full of gurneys and stretchers. It’s all very frantic. I wonder which room Ryder’s in. I hope he’s in one all alone and not with someone else. He doesn’t like people. Well so he told me.

          “Where is he?” I ask, looking up at Will as we walk down the corridor.

          “I’m not sure, actually.” Will says, truthfully. “Come on, we’ll just look in them all. Or maybe his name is on the outside, like on the whiteboard.”

I nod, “Yeah, probably.”

With that we continue walking down the E.R. hallway, looking at the small whiteboards on the doors with the names of the patients on them. We walk for about three minutes, and pass about fifteen rooms before a whiteboard catches my eye. On it is scribbled sloppily, ‘R. O’Connor.’

I tug on Will’s jacket, pulling him to a stop. “There it is.”

He looks over at the door, inspects the name and nods, “Yeah, sure is.”

We both stand there for a second before Will raises his eyebrows, “Well, what are you waiting for? Go in.”

          “Aren’t you gonna come in too?”

          “No, I told you I was bringing you.”

          “Okay then, well I’m gonna go in now.” I say awkwardly.

          “You do that; I’ll be in the waiting room with everyone else.”

I nod, and Will turns to walk off as I put my hand on the doorknob. I’m kinda scared to see Ryder. After all that shit, he probably looks horrible. I mean, not that I would care, but still. I swallow the lump forming in my throat, and twist the door handle, pushing it open. I walk in quietly, and close the heavy wood door behind me gently.

My eyes fall upon Ryder’s unconscious body lying on the small hospital bed, his chest rising and falling at a slow pace. I pad over to his side, and sit down in the chair next to the bed. I inspect his body, and the accident is evident. He has a few scratches on his forehead; they’re a bright red color. His hand - the left one; which is the one he screwed up in Australia - is covered wrapped in adhesive gauze, much more apprehensive looking than the one he previously had. I’m assuming he sprained that one then, since it was already kinda like messed up from him slamming it into a wall.

There’s a green see through oxygen mask on his face, covering his nose and mouth. He breathes slowly, whether or not he’s doing it on his own or with the help of a ventilator, I don’t know. I bite down on my lip, running my finger over one of the scratches on his forehead. He doesn’t respond, which isn’t surprising since he’s not conscious. His heart monitor beeps at a quiet, steady pace behind me. Ryder looks different when he’s asleep. Well I guess you can consider unconsciousness sleep. I do. He looks, slightly more…child-like. Like a small boy. I’ve never really paid attention to it before, but he has a few very small brown moles. One on his neck, one right below his ear, and the other above his temple.

I clear my throat, letting his hand go, and looking down in my lap. “Erm, hi Ryder. I’m not sure if you can hear me, but Will thinks you can, so I’m gonna talk to you. So I know you probably hate me because I broke up with you and I’m really, really sorry. I’m so stupid, like really. And don’t you even think about dying, because if you do, I’ll kill you. Okay, that didn’t make sense, but you know me, I don’t make sense about half the things I say.” I say, chuckling to myself.

“So um, when you wake up there’s a whole bunch of questions I wanna know the answer to, but we don’t have to talk about it I you don’t wanna. When you’re awake I mean. I mean, obviously. Um, I’ve never really been in a situation like this, so I’m not exactly sure what I’m supposed to do. Well actually, I have been. When my dad died. He was in a car accident too, you know. But he wasn’t drunk. The other person was drunk I think. But I was so young when it happened, I don’t really remember it too well. Um, so I love you a lot. Like more than a lot. And I know I say the word ‘like’ a lot, but it’s like a reflex. Darn, I just did it again. See what I mean? Okay, so I really need you to wake up, okay? Please? Pretty please?”

I lick my lips, and lean back in my chair, grasping his hand lightly. I feel a slight tugging on it, and I look up, seeing Ryder with his eyes half-way open. “Ryder?” I say, in disbelief. No way he just woke up.

          “McKenna.” He replies, his voice hoarse.

          “Ryder, oh my God. You woke up so fast, how did you - wait, wh-“ I ramble on for a second before I notice that Ryder’s hand is shaking. “Ryder?” I say worriedly. “Ryder, are you okay?” He gasps, and his other hand starts shaking uncontrollably. Not like a bad shake, like an alcoholic shake or anything, but enough to cause worry. “W-what’s wrong?”

Ryder doesn’t say anything and his heart monitor starts beeping faster, at a much faster accelerate rated. The green lights move frantically up and down the screen and my eyes bulge in horror as Ryder chest convulses and his hand slips from mine. His eyes start closing as the numbers on the screen fly up. I stand up, running out of the room, looking for the doctor.

          “Doctor Roberts!” I shout, running up and down the emergency room corridor, not taking into much consideration the people probably sleeping. “Doctor Roberts!” I yell again, as I try to find him.

          “Excuse me ma’am,” A male nurse says to me, putting his arms out as to calm me. “Ma’am, Dr. Roberts is performing surgery right now, is something the matter?”

          “My boy-“ I start to say boyfriend before I remember that we broke up. “Uh, I mean, the guy that I came to see, he uh, he like I dunno, he woke up and then he…like went back to sleep. His monitor went up really fast, and I-I don’t know what happened to him.” I explain.

He pushes a button on his side, which I guess is a pager or something like that. “Okay,” He says a few seconds later, looking down at the pager. “We’ve got a doctor who’s good to go in now and a medical team.”

          “Is it Dr. Roberts?” I wonder, twisting my fingers together.

          “Actually, Dr. Roberts is performing surgery right now, but Dr. Rigsby is available and she’s on the way to O’Connor’s room right now.”

I nod, catching my breath. “Thank you, sir.”

          “It’s no problem, really. I’m a nurse, it comes with the job.”

I walk away from him somewhat frantically, going back in the direction of Ryder’s room; trying to beat the doctor and medical team there. I push open the door of his room, and my eyes widen when I see that he is still shaking, totally unfazed. His heart rate machine proclaims 142. I’m pretty sure that’s higher than normal. I hurry over to him, grabbing his hand and rubbing it, trying to calm him down.

It seems to work a bit, but then the door bursts open and my eyes involuntarily dart across the room to the door, which is where the doctor and medical team are rushing into Ryder’s room. Dr. Rigsby takes the cover off of Ryder, pulling open his hospital gown and revealing his chest.

          “W-what happened to him? Why did he not stay wake?” I ask her, as one of the nurses walks to the other side of Ryder, half-way blocking my view of him as she connects a defibrillator onto his chest.

“Clear!” She shouts loudly.

“Miss, you’re gonna have to leave.” A blonde man says to me, putting his hands on my shoulder.

“No please, please, can’t I stay?” I beg.

He shakes his head, “Against the rules ma’am. Now please, you have to go. It could be dangerous in here for you too.” He warns, pushing me not so gently towards the door.

          “Clear!” The same nurse says, and I hear the fizzing of the defibrillator.

The man opens the door, shoving me out and drawing the blinds so that I can’t look inside. I frustrated kick the door and then put my ear up to it, hoping to hear something. What the fuck happened? He woke up for like thirty-five seconds and then he passed back out. And he was doing all that shaking, that’s not normal, I don’t care how drunk you are, that’s just too long. With my ear pressed up against the door I can hear the nurse call out, “Clear!” Again. That’s the third time. Why does she have to keep saying it? Why is she using a defibrillator?

I take my phone out of my pocket, and shakily unlock it. I go to the contacts. My plan was to call Will or Todd, but my finger just so happened to hit ‘Asher’, probably because he’s the first name in my contact list since it’s alphabetical. I bring the phone up to my ear and listen while it rings. The phone, I mean. On the third ring I hear Asher’s voice come over the phone, “Hey, you still talking to Ryder?”

          “H-he I dunno. He was okay, and he even woke up Asher. He woke up!” I exclaim.

          “But…”

          “How’d you know there was a but?”

          “’Cause there’s always a but, and it usually comes right after the thing that’s good. So what happened?”

          “I think Ry-“

Before I can finish my sentence, the door opens and the doctor walks out. She stops short when she sees me and raises her eyebrows. I immediately hit the ‘End Call’ button on my phone and slide it back down in my pocket, looking at her.

          “What happened? Is he okay now?”

          “He had a seizure.” She says nonchalantly as if it’s just normal for nineteen year old boys to have seizures.

          “Wait, what? How did he have a seizure?”

          “Actually,” She says hesitantly, “I’m not really supposed to tell you.”

          “Please? Please Dr. Rigsby.” I beg, starting to cry again.

She glances down at her clipboard and says, “He had a seizure.”

She just told me that. Try telling me something I don’t know. “Yes, but how?”

          “Well, sorry I didn’t catch your name,”

          “It’s McKenna.” I tell her, hurriedly.

          “Well McKenna, Mr. O’Connor ingested so much alcohol that his body begin to shut down, resulting in a seizure. One main cause of seizures is dehydration. He’s very dehydrated, so I’d say that in addition to the amount of alcohol in his body the seizure okay.”

Asher appears beside me, breathing heavily. “What the hell happened? You just hung up.”

          “If you’ll excuse me, I have to go inform Mr. O’Connor’s parents of the incident.” The doctor says before walking off.

          “McKenna,” Asher says, testily. “What’s going on? Did something else happen?”

          “He had a seizure.”

          “What?!” He shouts loudly, earning us a few glares from other doctors and medical personal in the corridor.

          “Shhh!” I say, “I-I can’t explain it.” I tell him. “Go out there with Dr. Rigsby, she’s gonna go tell the rest of them. I’m gonna go back in there, maybe he’ll wake up again.”

Asher nods, “Okay, okay. Call one of us if he does. Alright?”

          “I will, promise.” I say.

Asher turns on his heel and takes off running in the direction he came in. I go back into Ryder’s room just as it opens and the nurses all come out. I go into the room, and close it behind me. My eyes travel up to Ryder’s monitor and see that the heart rate is back down to normal as it his pulse rate.

I sit down on the edge of his bed, moving his leg over a bit. I grab his hand - the one with the gauze wrapped on it - and run my finger over the material.

“I love you. Don’t die, please don’t die.”