Jared was going on a date with Alana.

    Alana.

    Not Connor.

    Maybe he could pretend she's Connor?

    Well that's just the fucking stupidest thing Jared's ever heard and he's listened to Evan try to talk to Zoe. Oh, wait no, he has heard worse than both those things and it was that time he said the thing about liking Alana. But that wasn't some funny memory from a long time ago.

    That was now.

    And it sucked balls.

    Jared was changing out of his swimsuit and into shorts and a shirt while Evan and Connor hounded him on date etiquette. Jared supposed that it was good to hear from Connor how to take someone out on a date but it's not like he could be thinking of that at the moment.

    Right now, he had to get through a date with Alana. Just one date and then could play it off as he's too cool for a girlfriend.

    "Aren't you gonna wear something nicer?" Evan asked, gesturing to what was probably a Dorito stain on Jared's shirt.

    "Well EXCUSE me, let me just pull a suit out of my luggage." Jared rolled his eyes. "Or better yet let's go rent one, the councilors sell conditioner and shampoo, they might have one."

    "Jared, are you seriously telling us you don't have any better clothes than this?" Connor raised an eyebrow. "Because I can see a hole in the bottom of your shirt."

    Jared did have better clothes, but he was kind of trying not to impress Alana. Maybe she'd get bored with him and not want to go on a second date.

    "Jesus, since when did you two become the fashion police?" Jared shrugged, putting on cheap plastic flip flops, the classiest of footwear.

    "Since we knew you were going on a date!" Evan beamed. "I'm so excited for you, Jared!"

    "Me too, dude." Connor gave Jared a small smile that made Jared's stomach drop. He didn't want to do this, oh god, he just could go through with this, he had to stop this before it got out of hand and-

    There was a loud knocking at the door that made all three boys jump. Jared gulped.

    "There's your date!" Evan squealed.

    "Good luck, dude." Connor reached over and put a hand on Jared's shoulder. Jared wanted to lean into the touch, to cling to Connor and take him on a date instead. Of course he wasn't going to do that.

    That would be weird.

    "Thanks." Jared said hoarsely, the weight lifted off his shoulder and into his stomach as he watched Evan open the door, revealing Alana and Zoe.

    "Hi Jared!" Alana said, she was wearing a lovely yellow sundress with matching shoes. "How do I look!"

    "Amazing." Jared breathed, stepping forward. He glanced back at Connor, who had already retired to his bed, not paying any attention to the rest of the group.

    "Thank you!" Alana giggled, taking Jared's hand. She waved goodbye at the others. "We'll be back soon!"

    "See you!" Zoe grinned, shutting the door.

    "So Jared, where do you want to go?" Alana asked sweetly. Jared almost missed the question, he was too focused on their hands. They were intertwined and it gave Jared a queasy feeling. It wasn't right. He didn't like this, what was he doing?

    "Jared?" Alana asked again.

    "Oh, um, let's go see this cool rock formation near the volleyball court." Jared blinked.

    "That's a great idea! Did you know that basalt is the most common volcanic rock-" Alana didn't cut off there, that's where Jared's mind cut her off. It instead began to play some really good music. Damn, he had great music taste.

    Jared finally tuned in again a couple of minutes later.

    "-some granite is over four billion years old-"

    Jared blocked her out again. He knew that it wasn't exactly the kind thing to do, but it was the thing that would get him through this without doing something stupid. Damn, now his brain was playing They Might Be Giants.

    He was a music genius.

   "-and large parts of the northwest." Luckily Jared's brain detected when she finished so he could say,

    "Oh, wow, cool."

    "I know!" Alana smiled as they arrived at the rock formation. "Woah, look how beautiful it is."

    It looked like a rock to Jared.

    "Let's get closer!" Alana lead him over to the rock. She peered at the rock, grinning. "Here, touch it." She lifted his hand and pressed it to the cool stone.

    Why was he touching a rock.

    "What do you think?" She asked him.

    "Oh, it's, it's very cold?" Jared replied, he didn't know what answer Alana wanted.

    "Yes, it's cold, but what else?" Alana prodded him. Jared hesitated, looking at the rock like it had some sort of answer for him.

    "It's very gray?" Jared tried. Alana let go of his hand, rolling her eyes.

    "Nevermind." She flopped down at the base of the rock, smiling. Jared sat down next to her, very confused and trying to figure out what he missed.

    "So, tell me a bit about yourself." Alana tilted her head, leaning against the rock.

    "Oh, well I like video games, though I bet you knew that. I like pretty much anything zombie related." Alana nodded along as Jared talked. "My favorite movie is LEGO Batman, my favorite color is red," Jared was actually starting to like this, he could handle just talking and hanging out with Alana like they were friends. "My favorite food is anything that has over fifty grams of sugar, I don't like-"

    Alana had leaned forward and pressed her lips against Jared's. Jared froze for a second, just letting it happen before putting his hands to Alana's shoulders and pushing her away.

    "I like boys!" Jared blurted out, scrambling back. "No, I like girls too, but um, I don't like you."

    Alana blinked at him.

    "No, I mean, I like Connor." Jared bit his lip, tasting blood. What the fuck was he saying right now? Alana was silent for a couple minutes, which left Jared in extreme agony as he waited for a response.

    "So, you're bisexual?" Alana asked, turning to look at him.

    "Well, pansexual, I guess." Jared rubbed at his neck, unable to look at her. He felt his eyes begin to fill with tears, but refused to let them fall.

    "And you like Connor?" Alana sounded hurt, but not mad. "What about the card?"

"That was actually for Connor, I lied and told Evan it was for you." A tear slipped down Jared's cheek. Holy fuck, why was he crying? "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

    "It's okay." Alana sighed. "I think you're more distraught than I am about this, come here." She held out of her arms. Jared hugged her and began to cry harder. People always say that somehow crying makes you feel better, but all Jared felt was gross and upset and embarrassed.

    "Thanks, Alana." Jared hiccuped, pulling away to wipe his eyes. "You're a great friend."

"I know, that's why you want to keep me as one." Alana joked, winking at him. "Connor, however, you need to date that boy for him to be nice." That earned a laugh from Jared.

    "Yeah, I suppose, just," Jared hesitated. "Can you keep it a secret for just a while?"

    "Of course." Alana smiled. "So shall we head back now?"

    "Would it be okay if we just hung out for a bit? I did enjoy hanging out with you." Jared laid down on the grass and stared up at the sky.

    "I'd love that." Alana laid down next to him.

    "So, tell me a bit about yourself." Jared closed his eyes.

    "I have a 4.0 gpa, I volunteer at the animal shelter on weekends-"

    "No, that's what you're doing, tell me about you." Jared interrupted.

"Well, what about me?" Alana questioned.

"Like, what's your favorite animal?" Jared shrugged.

"Deep." Alana giggled. "Um, my favorite animal is probably a hedgehog."

"That's cute." Jared grinned at her. They sat in silence for a couple seconds.

"Jared, can I ask you something?" Alana turned her body sideways on the grass so she could look at him.

"No one ever says that when they're about to say something good, but okay." Jared frowned.

"Why do you like Connor?" She rested her head on her hand. "Of all people, Connor?"

"Well, I guess I think he's more than he seems. At least, I hope he is. I think deep down he's a sweetheart." Jared didn't even realize he thought this until now.

"What if he's not?" Alana prodded.

"Then I suppose I'd be pretty fucking disappointed."