Luke's POV
{This story does involve mature content, some may be graphic, just a warning. Actions that depression may lead to will occur.}

I stood on the wooden stool, tying the noose. I glanced around my dull grey basement every few seconds, reassuring myself that no one was down here with me. I took ahold of the noose with my shaky hands and slipped the loose loop around my neck. I shut my eyes, feeling too numb to say goodbye to the world that I'm sick of. I let go of the loop, focusing on the darkness that i've grown to love. I jumped off of the chair, letting my body dangle.

* * *

"He's awake!" I heard a lady yell, her tone sad and worrisome. Then I realized that the lady was my mom. My vision was blurred as I looked around realizing from the beat of the heart monitor that I was in a hospital room.

I sat up slowly, pressing down on to the uncomfortable springy mattress with my hands to help support my upper body. My vision became clear, I looked over at my blonde haired mother, tears of what clearly had to be joy forming in to her eyes.

I looked around the beige walled hospital room. Multiple medicine bottles sat on top of the small tray beside my bed. I don't know why this hadn't hit me when I first woke up- but i realized that I was alive. My vision blurred once again, yet with tears of anger and sadness. I'm not supposed to be alive. I'm supposed to be dead and gone and out of this world of negativity.

The warm tears streamed down my cheeks, I looked at my mother, "why?" I asked, the lump that had formed in my throat causing my voice to crack.

"Why what, honey?" She asked, placing her small, warm hand gently on to my back.

"Why am I still here?" My tone becoming hoarse with anger.

"In the hospital?"

"No! in this god damned world!" I clenched my jaw tightly together, hearing her sigh out stressfully, yet she didn't reply. I knew that she wouldn't. She has and will never know what to say when it comes to my 'problem' as the doctors call it.

"Luke-" My mom starts, then was interrupted by the doctor who shut the door quietly as he walked in. He was a medium sized man, i'd say about 5'7, with dark brown hair, a strong look to his face as well as very prominent cheekbones. I knew this man to well.

"Oh, Luke, You're awake." He shoots a smile towards me, I glared at him. I've never liked him, he may seem like a hero in many eyes for saving my life, but to me he was an evil man- an evil man who wouldn't let me succeed in what I want to accomplish.

"Hello, Doctor Mayes," My mom says, her tone quiet and hush like. I looked over at her, seeing the smallest burst of red form on to her cheeks. I rolled my eyes, looking away.

"Hello, Mrs. Hemmings." he replied. "I would like to talk to you two. Luke's counselor and I have come to a conclusion about something important, and I think that this would bring less stress off of you, and Luke." He says, pulling up the doctors stool and taking a seat on to it.

Great. More counseling sessions. Just what I want.

"What, more sessions? More hell?" I spat, my mom glared at me, her eyebrow cocked up. I looked at her, then away back at the doctor.

"Um, No," He maturely replied "We've come to the conclusion that we're putting you on suicide watch."

I stared at him with a blank look, tilting my head slightly to the side. "And how is that going to work?" I asked.

"We're going to have people watching you consistently, Luke. You attempt to kill yourself what seems like every week. It needs to come to an end, everything else we are trying is failing to succeed."

"I have a solution.." I muttered under my breath, looking down towards the tile floor.

"It starts when you're released, and when we think that you're better, you'll be free. Liz, we would like to know if you are okay with this?" Doctor Mayes says adultly, facing her.

I looked over to my mom as well. "you aren't going to allow this, are you?" I asked. She better not. I don't want people consistently watching my every single move.

She swallowed, looking over at me, her chest rising and falling slowly. "I think that its best for you, Luke. I couldn't stand loosing you." She rested her hand on top of mine, I reluctantly pulled away.

"No! This is stupid! I don't want people watching my every move!" I yelled.

"Alright, Mrs.Hemmings," He says, scribbling something down on his paper, completely ignoring the fact that I hate the idea of this.

I shake my head from side to side, resting it back on to the flat pillow.

"Thank you." My mother says, I watched as she gave him a hug, then shut my eyes, trying to resist looking at the two. I opened them back up once I heard the door shut.

"That man saved your life, Luke, he deserves at least a little bit of your respect." Her arms were crossed against her chest as she looked down at me. I rolled on to my side, facing away from her.

Suicide watch. I've never heard of that, and I don't like the sound of it. What do they expect? That i'll just magically become better and a happy person? That is not how I, Luke Hemmings, will ever work. They should try being in my shoes.

I'm a lonely person, all I have is my mom and my music and personally, thats all I need. Well, unless death would be considered a need.

I groaned out as I heard the creak of the door again. I rolled myself on to my back, and looked over at the door.

"Hello, Luke, you're being released." A nurse in purple pants says, walking up and turning off the machines, then taking out the IV's in my arms. That hurt a lot sometimes, although I only felt the pain when I wasn't completely numb to feelings.

I look down at my arms, getting up off of the hospital bed and stretching out my stressed muscles.

Home, a place where many memories and attempts have taken place. I don't even know why I try there anymore. I should try to attempt in an alley, where no body can find me.

Hi,

Sorry this first chapter is a little eh, yeah, it sucks.

I promise they will get better though! I have great ideas for this story in the future.

Oh, and if there are any mistakes, I'm sorry. I didn't hardcore proof read this.

ilysm c: -Kirsten