Temi POV

Melody instantly responds to the kiss, as if it's something she has been waiting for. Her lips are flush against mine as she kisses me. She presses her lips hard against mine and I press mine back even harder, hoping that if I kiss her hard enough, I'll stop thinking of Isa.

I desperately want to feel like I used to feel with Melody. To feel carefree, excited. Nothing really mattered with her except hooking up. I never thought too deeply about any feelings I had for her. Because I didn't have any. As Melody kisses me, a sliver of guilt passes through me.

But the guilt I feel isn't enough for me to break the kiss apart.

Melody's hands start roaming all over my body, and I let her. I want to recoil. I want to push her away and tell her that this is all a mistake. But I don't. I squeeze my eyes shut and kiss her even harder.

I am aware of Isa throughout. I can almost feel her eyes watching us intently. But I don't react.

I take hold of Melody's waist and pull her closer to me, so our bodies are pressed hard against each other. Just like Isa's and I's had been just a few moments ago. But I don't feel the same way I had felt a few moments ago, when it was Isa that my body was pressed against.

I feel empty. I feel nothing. I only feel Melody's body against mine. That is all there is to it. Just flesh and bones.

Melody, on the other hand, feels something.

She lets out a moan, and in the next second, her tongue is in my mouth. I force myself to keep from retching as she feels her way around my mouth.

I'm not sure what happens next. But what I know is that one moment, I am enduring a make-out session with Melody, and the next, I feel firm hands ripping us apart.

I look up in confusion as Isa pries us away from each other. But I can't ignore the feeling of great relief that rushes over me at Isa's interruption.

"That's enough," Isa says. She doesn't look at me, but she doesn't have to. I can see her rage clear as day across her face. Isa does not hide her anger, but I can see she's using it to mask something else. Hurt.

At that moment, guilt hits me. A way bigger guilt than the one I had felt towards Melody. This one has more of an impact on me, and my heart clenches painfully.

"We're leaving. Now."

Isa doesn't wait for my response, but immediately begins heading in the exit's direction, pushing her way through the mass of people, oblivious to the events that just occurred.

"Temi, what's going on?" Melody asks, confusion clear on her face. Her lips are swollen from our kiss mere moments ago, but that doesn't turn me on how it used to. I feel shame wash over me as I stare at her.

Without a word, I follow Isa, pushing through the sea of sweaty people. I almost wish that it would swallow me up. I wish that somehow I wouldn't be able to make it to the other side. But I make it outside in one piece and dread overcomes me as I see Isa standing there, waiting for the Uber.

The ride back to the apartment is done in silence.

At several points, our Uber driver, a bouncy white man, tries to make conversation. Neither of us respond. Both of us just sit side by side, staring out of the windows. At some point, he gives up and we continue the rest of the journey in pin-drop silence.

It's about 3 in the morning when we make it back to the apartment. I'm feeling so many emotions at once and it all seems to morph into exhaustion.

The alcohol I drank still influences me, and as I walk into the apartment, I sway slightly. Isa's hands are immediately at my sides, steadying me.

We both seem to freeze and I know we are both thinking of the events from earlier. Without a word, Isa lets go of me. I feel an emptiness settle over me at this, and she brushes past me, not saying a word.

I keep a hand on the wall, using it to keep me stable as I walk further into the apartment. I watch as Isa heads to the kitchen fridge, bringing out a loaf of bread and a glass of water, which she places on the dining table.

Her eyes finally meet mine, but I can't see anything past them. I know she has her mask up, and she looks at me with indifference, with a poker face.

"Eat these. It would help you sober up a little. It's late and I'm going to bed."

Isa does not wait for a response, and I don't bother arguing with her as I watch her make her way to the living room. She's not sleeping on my room floor tonight, and as much as I thought I would love this, the painful feeling in my heart only seems to get worse.

I make my way over to the dining table, taking the glass of water and swallowing it all whole in a couple of gulps. My mind is spinning and I'm having difficulty thinking straight or making sense of anything occurring.

I take the slice of bed and eat it. No butter or jam. It feels hard as it goes down my throat, but I don't care. Not right now. This night has gone completely differently than I expected, and I can't seem to wrap my head around it. I cannot understand my actions.

I get a notification on my phone. I glance at it and see it's a text from Melody asking where I am. I ignore it and take another bite of bread.

If Grace was here, she'd tell me I'm 'messy'. I smile sadly. That was always the word she used to describe the situations that I somehow always get myself involved in. But as much as I don't want to admit it, she's right. I am messy. I dive headfirst into things without properly thinking them through. I am too short-tempered. Too erratic.

I feel my eyes prick up, and I push the tears back and chew aggressively on the piece of bread in my mouth. I can push back the tears that threaten to spill, but I can't push back the pain that I feel. And that feels infinitely worse.

I finish eating and head to my room. It seems empty without Isa's familiar lump sprawled out on the floor. I try not to think at all as I change into my pajamas, run a makeup wipe over my face, and get into bed. I don't bother brushing my teeth or properly washing my face. Who cares? I feel helpless about everything happening around me.

The alcohol in my system helps me fall asleep almost instantly. I close my eyes and let my body slip into a deep slumber.

I wake up the next day to the sun streaming in through my window. I grab my phone and see that it is already 2 in the afternoon. I wonder why Isa has not come to wake me up, but the several missed calls and texts from Melody instantly remind me of the events of last night and a fresh wave of dread washes over me.

I wish I did not wake up at all today.

I step out of my room to see Isa seated on the couch in the living room. Her head is bent over her notepad, but she looks up and our eyes instantly lock.

She looks strangely relaxed, given the events of last night. She is dressed as usual in a shirt and sweatpants and her long hair is tied back in a ponytail. A feeling of nervousness instantly washes over me.

"Good, you're finally up," Isa says.

I nod my head dumbly.

"How do you feel?"

"Fine." I lie.

Isa nods. "That's good." She pauses, "we need to talk. Could you come over here for a second?"

The dread I'm feeling intensifies tenfold and I slowly make my way over to the living room, taking a seat opposite from Isa.

For a moment, Isa says nothing, but studies me. I keep my gaze averted on the floor, to keep from looking into her eyes. I know Isa has her mask up, but I fear what might slip through. I'm terrified of what I might see.

"Last night was a mistake."

My head flips up instantly. "I know, Isa. I'm sorry. It wasn't fair for me to kiss Melody-" my voice fades away as Isa shakes her head.

"I don't care about you kissing Melody." That hurts. "I'm talking about what happened with us. That was a mistake."

I freeze then. My mind is spinning so fast in circles, and I feel a slight headache forming.

"I think I need to remind you I'm your bodyguard, Temi. Nothing more, nothing less. I know I'm not that much older than you, but it still stands. Our interactions need to be purely professional."

My throat is dry, and suddenly I cannot speak. But Isa keeps on talking, and each word is like a dagger piercing through my heart.

"I know that my playful nature might have led to me blurring the lines of professionalism. I apologize for that, and I will be more rigid with the line in the future. Also, no more parties, or any other setting where you're prone to drinking for the time that I'm working as your bodyguard. You're underage and clearly alcohol seems to affect your reasoning capabilities. That's probably why you came onto me last night..."

My eyes are as wide as saucers.

"I came onto you?" I ask, disbelief clear in my voice, "yes, act like it's only me to blame. You're so full of shit!"

"Listen, Temi-"

"No, you listen," I say, rising to my seat. "You're so full of bullshit. Yes, act like last night was all my fault. To think that I was even apologizing..." my voice trails off in embarrassment.

Isa rises to her feet as well and her brown eyes seem to study me intently. I feel a shiver go through me under the gaze of her scrutiny and it makes me absolutely sick that she has this effect on me.

"Why the fuck are you even still here?" I yell, my anger taking over completely, "you should have left after last night. Why the fuck are you even still here?" This is a question that I'm genuinely wondering, as I am so certain that last night's events would have been what would send her packing.

"Temi, I understand that you're mad."

"Shut the fuck up. You don't understand a thing." If I was a cartoon character, I'm pretty sure that I would have steam coming out of my ears at this moment. "What the fuck do you know, you stupid fucking military bitch. All you know is guns and stuff, and murdering innocent people in the Middle East or whatever the fuck it is that this country's military does."

The last part is probably a bit of an overkill but I can't stop myself. I have since gone past having a sensor.

"Obviously, I am not proud of everything that goes on in the military." Isa says. Her voice is flat and her eyes are flat as she stares at me. Obviously, I have hit a spot.

"Just fuck off," I say, I can feel the tears threatening to fall. "Leave me the fuck alone, Isabella. Stay out of my fucking life."