Friday, 13:05

I'm back home. Mom and dad saw that I wasn't doing so well yesterday so we came home early. I feel terrible.

I have 4 more days to spend with everyone and I already ruined family bonding time.

At least one good thing comes out of this whole thing, I only have to go to school for 2 days...ha...that's supposed to be good, right? No more homework or projects that might lead to my future career, no more teachers, or friends or awkward crushes or Riton or anything. I'll just be dead and nothing else....you know the other bonus no more stress, I won't have to stress about school or anything I'll....I'll just be dead and ....and happy cause I can't just leave sad, that would hurt everyone. I just need to go happily so that everyone will be okay.

I just need to be happy.

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15:00

I hung out with Riton today. He looked a little sad. I mean who wouldn't be when their best and only friend is about to die in 4 days.

I asked him what he was going to since I'm leaving soon. He said he didn't know but he'll figure something out. He to told me that I shouldn't be sad and that I should make the most out of the situation.

I think that's extremely stupid. How am I supposed to make the best out this situation also why wasn't he as sad as he should be, I mean I am the person he likes. Shouldn't he be devastated that he's best and only friend is about to die. Why doesn't he feel that way?

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19:45

Mom told me that I shouldn't think of Ritons idea of making the most out of it as stupid. She said that it was actually a pretty good idea. She then went on about how good and beneficial the idea was.

I still think it's stupid. How are you supposed to make the most out of your last days on earth?

I mean listen, if you had only a couple of days til you die and have to leave everything that you know behind how would you make the most out of that!?

There's no possible way to make the best out of a situation like that. Sometimes I wish they'd put themselves in my shoes.