- chapter 18;
seperated hearts

EVERY STEP HE TOOK, MADE HIM ALMOST COLLAPSE AT THE FLOOR. His body shook heavy, the more he got away from his loved one. Donovan loved Bleiz so much, it made his dead heart bleed. Tears were streaming down his face, while he grabbed the first bottle of alcohol, he saw. He didn't even care about, what was inside, he only wanted to feel the burning liquid down his throat, not wanting to see everything else. A part of him wished, Bleiz would run after him, jumping on his back and hold him. But another part wished, he wouldn't even look after him. It was too dangerous. His sweet pup ... He could get killed any seconds because of a woman, who has never loved him and was now jealous because of his happiness.
"Bleiz", he whispered, sliding down the wall, with his back against it. Still, tears were coming out of his eyes. It felt almost weird. The last time, he has been crying, was several years ago. "I can't live without you. It hurts to be away from you", Donovan breathed, followed by a slight sob. Slowly, he opened the bottle again, before he started to drink, until it was finally empty. Another sob escaped him, while he let himself sliding down against the wall.

Every time, Elizabeth has hurt him, pushed him away, or they even had a fight, Donovan was simply rushing out of the hotel in the dark night, tracking down a lone man or woman. He would've then taken his target into a cheap hostel – room, having wild sex and simply drank their blood. But only the thought of even touching someone else than Bleiz made him want to throw up. He only wanted him. Bleiz. Bleiz. Bleiz. Again, he cried out, pulling his knees to his own chest. It was for his protection. For Bleiz' safety and everything to keep him protected. Even if he needed to stay away from him. Even if it hurt, like hot iron, burning deep inside his skin.

He wished, Bleiz would leave the hotel, so he was safe. But still, the other part of him didn't want him to. This part would've hold him close, never letting him go or even thinking about him leaving his side. Again, a soft sob left his throat, tears running down his cheeks. He wanted him back. "Come back to me, baby. But don't get too close", he whispered, pressing himself tighter against the wall.

His words and actions didn't only hurt himself of course. Bleiz laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling. His body felt numb, his heart empty. Like there existed nothing for him anymore. The tears on his cheeks were dried a little. At least something good.

"Donny", he breathed, closing his eyes. Bleiz wanted to see his face. He needed it, no matter how much his heart hurt, he simply needed to remember every detail of his beautiful face. The pale, smooth skin, the ocean-blue eyes, which were sparkling like stars on the night-skies.

Again, he felt how his body cramped, a slight whine escaping him. He held on a pillow – the one, on which Donovan was laying during the night – and cried in silence. Bleiz just wanted him back. Only him and nobody else. Maybe he could his loved one even understand a bit. Even if his heart hurt. Why didn't want the immortal fight for them? Was he that afraid, because of a bitchy woman? Or didn't he even love him that much? No, he couldn't think about that. Donovan loved him.

But what should he do now? He couldn't leave. Every step, he was away from his soulmate hurt in his chest. Especially now. At first, Bleiz needed to clear his thoughts. Quickly, he whipped his tears off, standing up. His body shook a bit, while he grabbed a piece of paper and wrote a note to Liz, knowing she would later or sooner check on him. 'Need to go. Don't know, when I will come back. Xx – B.' Quickly, he undressed himself, except the bracelet, Donovan gave him. Maybe it will even be there, when he changed his form. He hoped. So, he would feel a bit closer to him. Even if his loved one was so far away from him now ... Far away from his heart. At least, he thought this. In slow steps, he walked towards the window, opening it.

The cold night greeted him once again, causing the corners of his mouth to twitch. Well, the coldness always greeted him with open arms. Probably this was the place, where he should better simply stay. Somewhere in the cold. Alone, with nobody who would worry about him. Softly, he sighed, taking a few steps back.

There was just this little chance, that some of his bones will break. Not that he would mind, since everything seemed to be pointless in his eyes right now. A slight growl came out of his mouth, his body shaking, as he focused.

The wave of anger rolled faster over him, then a Tsunami on Hawaii. He was angry of himself, for letting Donovan ever go, and Donovan for leaving him. But especially one of the things, which caused uncontrollable anger, was the Countess. Elizabeth, who hasn't only destroyed Donovan's past to make him believe, he was a monster. No, she has also destroyed their relationship. She was the reason, why his loved one wanted to be separated from him. Because of her. Because she might be able to hurt him. Oh Donovan. He should've looked at Bleiz right now. Standing there, all naked, but still in his natural elegance.

Even if he felt like he was about to cry, he tried his best to pull himself together. Just taking deep breaths and maybe tomorrow, it will be better. Everything will be better. At least that's what he hoped. A bit, he bit his lip, waiting until he could taste the blood. Even if he was naked, he didn't freeze. Instead, he felt warm. His hot blood rushing through his veins, causing his heart to beat faster. He closed his eyes and focused on his own body. The adrenaline streamed through his veins, feeling, how the blood vessels of his beast – side slowly activated.

Well, he got better with controlling it. Maybe he could even make it one day, that he was able to change his form, whenever he wanted it and not only, when he was in emotional stress or in an intensive rage. Soft growls escaped him.

In his window-reflection, he could see, how his dark eyes changed into the ice-blue. He groaned quietly in pain, while his bones were cracking and stretching. He didn't want to watch this, so he closed his eyes, trying to ignore the physical pain. The burning on his skin. Every single hair of his black fur felt like a needle, coming out of his skin. But he was used to it. Pain was only a little part of his life. It simply belonged to him, there was nothing, he could do about that. He growled, as he felt himself standing on all fours and opened his eyes again.

It took him a while, until he felt himself used to the wolf-form again. Normally, Bleiz should be used to it even in the first second, after he has changed his form. But it was still always weird for him. He shook his giant head, watching himself in the mirror. What was he? Neither wolf, nor man, just something broken in between. The only one, who has made him believe, he belonged somewhere, has pushed him away. Again, he shook his head, before he flexed the muscles of his legs and growled. There was no need now for any human emotions. The desire to kill something was growing, causing to silence the last few human thoughts in the corner of his brain.

He growled again, before he started to run and jumped out of the window. His legs were taller and stronger than the ones of a regular wolf. His speed almost as fast as the one of a cheetah. With a slight growl, he held with his paws and claws on the roof of the building, across the hotel. Maybe he should simply let go off it. This would be such an easy way, for himself and Donovan.

Soft whimpers escaped him, as the thought of Donovan came only for one second in his beasty mind. His beloved mate. He loved him so much, even his wolf-heart cramped. Quickly, he hopped on the roof, running quietly on top of it.

The night was quiet and calm, the cold wind brushing through his fur, like it wanted to reach out his hands for stroking him. In the distance, he could hear a dog barking, causing him to look behind. Looking behind ... No, he couldn't leave Donovan, even if he maybe wanted this because of a stupid bitch, who scared him and maybe wanted to kill him.

Again, the wolf growled. Donovan was his mate, his pack. And he would fight for him. The animal threw his head in the air and howled. Long and loud, almost everyone around him should be able to hear it clearly. It was a howl for the battle, he prepared, a howl to get his mate back. A wolf never let his mate run free. He was a predator, a killing machine, born to fight and hunt. Born to walk through a storm, while others stopped at a wind. A soldier, who was still standing in the front, while everybody else has left and hundreds of men were waiting for him. No, he wouldn't give up. Not on Donovan. He was his everything.

With a soft whimper, the animal walked on the roof, before he jumped down, shaking his giant body a bit. He wished, he would be able to simple storm into the hotel, jump on the Countess and rip her throat out with his own teeth. This would be a wonderful dream.
He trotted around the building, looking up. Where was he? Where was his love? Again, he howled loudly. Maybe, Donovan would walk down, to check out, where the noises were coming from. At least, that's what Bleiz hoped. His heart raced in his chest, as he heard heavy steps.

Even if his loved one was normally quiet, he knew it was Donovan. With this sweet, loving scent, which was pulling him towards the vampire it could only be him. The scent came closer, causing his wolf-body to shiver in excitement. Finally, he could see him when he was a wolf. He would be able to feel him even more intensive. Well, that's what Fox has said to him. His heart raced in his chest, as the tall man stepped out of the entrance.

For some seconds, Bleiz and him were just staring at each other. The ocean-blue eyes were swollen, puffy and red because of the crying. Some moods between fear, curiosity, just like sadness was reflected in his black pupils.

The wolf's heart instead, it was beating fast and loud against his chest, trotting slowly towards him. He would love to run to him, jumping on his beautiful, godlike body. Maybe one day, when he knew, who he was and of course, wanted to hug him.

At first, Donovan breathed heavy, taking some steps backwards. Never in his life before, he has seen such a huge dog. Until he realized, it wasn't a dog. It was a wolf. Such a giant, but proud and beautiful beast. What did he want from him? Perhaps some food, scratches, or anything like that. Still ...

There was something about this animal, he couldn't explain himself. Something was familiar, also very odd of his eyes. This spark, an animal couldn't have. This spark, with so much intelligence and emotions, no wolf could ever have. Wolves may be smart, but there was something human-like in his pretty, ice-blue eyes.

Donovan bit down on his lower lip, slowly going in his knees. Well, at least he could look, if the wolf wanted to attack him or not. Still, he was tensed, trying to calm himself down. During that, he watched the wolf, how he came closer. The eyes of the animal were sparkling lightly, their color reminding him of a frozen sea, or the endless wilderness of the frozen tundra, somewhere, far away from here. And Donovan felt safe. He felt, like he has found a new home in the eyes of this animal. He had no idea, how he could feel like that. There was only one person, who he has felt welcome since the first second.

His gaze wandered down to the big paws of the wolf. A bit, he blinked. The bracelet was familiar to him. Suddenly, he knew what was going on. "Bleiz?", he asked quietly, tensing his body a bit. His sweet loved one was a ... werewolf? No, this couldn't be right. Bleiz was pure and not a ... A bit, Donovan blinked. Has he really been about to say "monster"? Again, his gaze wandered back to the wolf's face. The animal was calm, his ears standing up in the air, tilting curious his head. There was so much love in his eyes, Donovan didn't dare to breath loud, because else, his heart would've ached.

"Bleiz? Pup is that you?", he asked quietly again, reaching carefully his hand out. Maybe, he was getting insane. Crazy. Losing his mind. Like almost everyone did, in this damn hotel. Bleiz has left the hotel, was now far away. At least, he hoped this.

But when he could hear a soft bark, and the warm tongue, which was licking gently above his hand, his hopeful thoughts were fading away. Bleiz was there. There was this selfish part of him, which was happy about it. His true love hasn't left him, probably never even thought about leaving him. But on the other hand, ... he still was scared. Maybe, Bleiz was a wolf and could fight. Not without getting hurt and alone the thought of him, wounded and bleeding in his arms, made him sick.

"I've told you to leave. Why didn't you leave? This is no place for you, pup", Donovan whispered, carefully wrapping his arms around the huge neck of the wolf. As an answer, Bleiz only growled a little, licking gently above his cheek. His body was tightly pressed against the immortal's one, trying to give him a bit of his unnatural warmth. "I'm glad, you're here. I love you", he whispered. Maybe it was gross, maybe it was cute, but Donovan just had the need, to press a kiss on the head of him. His fur smelled surprising good, felt soft under his lips. He smelled like the forest, endless wilderness and freedom. His own kind of freedom. Gently and carefully, the vampire caressed his back along, enjoying the fluffy, black fur underneath his hand, the softness between his fingers.

In affirmation, the wolf hummed, licking above his cheek, snuggling closer. His heart beat steady against the cold chest of Donovan, his own body relaxed. Even as a wolf, he felt safe in his arms, knowing, nothing bad would ever happen to him. Besides, his loved one has just told him the sweet, three words, he needed to hear.

After a while, Bleiz pulled away, looking deeply into Donovan's blue eyes. He was beautiful, his sweetest desire on this planet. Especially his eyes. The wild ocean in his blue iris'. So perfect. Pure perfection. Carefully, he raised his paw, laying it on his chest, right above his heart. Gently, he squeezed the spot. 'I love you too', he tried to say, tilting again his head.

Of course, it took a while, until the vampire could understand, what he was about to tell him. "I know, pup. And I'm sorry, I wanted you to leave, without even asking you. But let's talk, when you changed back", Donovan said quietly, stroking him gently behind his ear. It was still a bit weird to him, but he has seen demons, vampires and ghost, so why shouldn't werewolves – or at least a kind of werewolf - exist? Again, he leaned forward, to kiss his head, stroking his back along. Odd, how strong Bleiz felt under his hands. When he was a human, Donovan always had the need to protect him, because he seemed so fragile, even if he has seen his muscles and pretty body. Even touched almost every inch of the perfection he had. His sweet noises still in his mind, when he thought about this night.

And slowly, Donovan realized, he needed more. He needed him. His Bleiz, his true love. And he didn't want to push him away, ever again. It wasn't even a day, which they were separated. But just the few hours have felt like an eternity pain for him. It was the kind of pain, he has never thought, it would exist. Barely able to breath or to move. Every step, he has taken away from his sweet love used to be worse than his darkest drug – experiences.

Almost in slow motion, he stood up, still looking down at the wolf. "I want you, Bleiz. And I need you. We against the world", Donovan whispered, patting his head. As an answer, he got a soft growl, followed by a light nod. His pupils seemed to get even darker. A slight smirk appeared on Donovan's face, showing him his white, sharp teeth. "Then come, pup. Change back to the handsome man you are", he whispered.

The wolf looked around, before he quickly trotted behind the container, next to the hotel. Curious, he tilted his head, as he saw a white bag there. Has he put any clothes there? No, not that he could remember. Then he took a deep breath. They smelled fresh, like they have been just washed. Liz. With that thought, he slowly transformed back to a man, groaning quietly in pain.

His body shook a bit, because of the sudden loss of his fur and the cold of the night. He was just about to bend down, to pull out the clothes, when he suddenly felt two strong arms wrapped around his hip. Cold lips nibbling at his neck. "You're nude far more beautiful, than I have ever imagined."

Things are getting dirty! Finally.
Oh, and before anybody is coming at me like: Why are they back together again? They were just having a fight.
Donovan and Bleiz are soulmates, which means, they're connected to each other and sharing one of the deepest and purest bonds. They need each other like air to breath.